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Just had an unpleasant experience on another forum. The experience relates to myspace and boundaries, and I think it might also relate to this topic. Long post, sorry.
The forum's not really like here. There's quite a lot of (shudderingly unpleasant to read) internet flirting, and the forum's mostly comprised of people who are involved in music/club promotion near me. This being a BBS, anyone can get in, they have signatures, links to email and websites, and avatars- a jpeg picture- on each post under the username.
A female poster, a student of 18 who we'll call A, put up an avatar of her and her friends on a night out, dressed as one does for such occasions. This garnered quite a lot of interested attention from the overwhelmingly male board and she became something of a celebrity. I've no doubt she had a good laugh about this- I found it slightly sickening because I know what most of the fatbeards on the board look like IRL and she doesn't, being new to the scene, but fair enough, it wasn't a hugely salacious picture and she could change it whenever she wanted.
She went on to change the avatar to another picture, again of her and pals, dressed up for some kind of halloween party as maids, nurses etc- I'm sure we've all got a picture of ourselves like that somewhere. This one was a little more revealing, but again, it was her choice to put it up there- as far as I can see, I might be wrong, female posters please say if I am- and she probably laughed at most of the "hubba hubba can i av ur number" responses.
The trouble started when one of the guys found out her myspace adress from her profile, and started posting the link to her pictures- they were all capable of acessing them because they all had myspace. On the forum, all that was posted was a link- her pictures were set up in a java slideshow, the slideshow page could be linked to but not individual pictures, and individual images couldn't be displayed on the forum.
At this stage, they suddenly stopped talking to her and started talking about her pictures as if she wasn't there. I posted pointing this out and saying it seemed dodgy how it had gone from intrapersonal flirting to a clinical discussion of her images, but she told me to piss off and not to talk for her, so I suppose she must have been okay with the way things were going (again, I might be wrong).
Then, a new thread popped up called "Caption Competition"- there's a tradition of caption competitions on the board and they're always popular- everyone on the board, in other words, would be sure to look at that thread.
It turned out that the thread-starter, B, a man, had gone to A's myspace picture slideshows. Now, there was photoset on there of her at a party, where she had lifted up her top with another girl and posed for a picture- this was just one picture among many and hardly defined the set. Like I said, you couldn't display these images in a forum, but what he'd done was to save that particular image to a photobucket account and then published it on the forum.
Now, this obviously wasn't OK. Where before, she had had control over which pictures people saw and she could delete or change them at will- because they were either in her myspace profile or in her avatar, places she had the keys to- now this image was up for everyone to see and on someone else's account, and she couldn't change that.
None of the men complained, they all arrived and made a barrage of sexual comments (not compliments to her, but things along the lines of "Top Spec Bitch" etc). A posted, obviously quite angry and distressed, asking for it to be removed.
B said: "It's was your choice to put it on the internet" and others added that removing it would be "censorship". I posted, quite angrily, pointing out that the guy had saved the pictures to his CPU and republished them, and anyway, she had published them in a conditional context that he had broken. I also said that it wasn't censorship if he did the decent thing and deleted them of his own accord.
I got a barrage of nasty replies and a few agressive PMs. I seemed to have broken the ultimate taboo of Hetmale and was now receiving hate mail. Ultimately, A contacted a moderator who deleted the thread.
Now, I'm not sure why I came here to say this except
a) It was horrible, urgh
b) I'm very glad to have Barbelith, and
c) I guess it shows how a technically detailed method of expression (Myspace), if one is unaware of the full working details and potential (and few people are) can be used by others to break one's rules, very easily, and in a very unpleasant way.
More importantly, why do I feel as if I could have done more to help? |
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