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Shag, marry, push off a cliff.

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Jack The Bodiless

15:46 / 01.03.02

Fourteen years!

Fourteen YEARS!

FOURTEEN FUCKING YEARS!

16:32 / 01.03.02

quote:Originally posted by Flux = Expert Textpert:
Han Solo
Michael Jordan
Bono

Geez, on a silver platter...

Shag, Han Solo. Just that sort of guy.

Bag, Michael Jordan. Are you kidding? Would never have to work another day in my life. And as you know he doesn't pay any attention to his wife, which would be fine with me.

Crag, Bono. Because when U2 came to U of I years ago, they crashed the Tri-Delt house at 2AM ("let us in, we're rock stars"). How can a man with such ordinary fantasies save the world?

This one's for... Traz or Tempus, whoever answers first:

Elvis Costello
Elvis Presley
Lisa Marie Presley

Matthew Fluxington

17:06 / 01.03.02

for Ganesh:

Tony Soprano
Kelsey Grammer
Bob Dylan

for Rizla:

Laetitia Sadier
J-Lo
Missy Elliot

for Flyboy:

Jay-Z
Method Man
DMX

for Saveloy:

Michael Stipe
Christina Aguilera
Sean Connery

for Bitchiekittie:

James Van Der Beek
Tom Brokaw
David Hyde Pierce

for Sauron:

Beyonce Knowles
Liv Tyler in permanent elf make-up
Tori Amos

18:03 / 01.03.02

For the Knowledge:

Tom Coates.

Cameron Stewart.

Nick.

18:06 / 01.03.02

For everyone else:

Knowledge.

Chrome.

Eloi.

18:13 / 01.03.02

quote:Originally posted by Flux = Expert Textpert:
for Ganesh:

Tony Soprano
Kelsey Grammer
Bob Dylan

Hmm...

Crag: Kelsey Grammar, because in doing so, I'd be externalising my tyrannical Superego and disposing of it altogether, leaving my Id to run free with...

Shag: Bob Dylan, to see whether he really was 'electric'.

Bag: Tony Soprano, because he's the hairiest, scariest, beariest creature in all of Christendom, and I'd make the best mafia wife ever.

Okay, hana_bi, brace yourself:

Madonna with Guy Ritchie watching
Mariah Carey (on Depixol) with Black Lawless watching
Cantankor on a really bad day with no-one watching

?

mr insensitive

20:20 / 01.03.02

Shagg...Tom Jones

Marry...Jennifer Connoley

Push off cliff...Anne Widdecombe

20:38 / 01.03.02

quote:Originally posted by Flux = Expert Textpert:

for Sauron:

Beyonce Knowles
Liv Tyler in permanent elf make-up
Tori Amos[/QB]

Flux- hot dang that is hard.

Tori Amos goes off the cliff, although she would definetely get bagged on about three of the covers of strange little girls.

Then, Beyonce gets shagged. It's fairly violent and it's over fairly quickly, It's intense. Neither of us like each other, but there's a strange animal magnatism.

Then I marry Liv. I am the Elendil and she is the Evenstar, and I never want for anything again.

OK, one for Runce-

Barry White
Lenny Beige
Joe Black

[ 01-03-2002: Message edited by: Sauron ]

20:59 / 01.03.02

just the distraction I need, Flux, thank you!

Logan from the X-Men
Russell Crowe
Eddie Vedder

Marry, Eddie Veddder. So he could sing "Oceans" and "he won the lottery, when he was born..." every morning to me. And I kind of like his puffy, crinkly face with the hyperthyroid eyes.

Shag, Wolverine, definitely. He has body hair to die for. He has such an erect posture! And he's a moody bastard, just like me.

So that leaves Russell for the cliff-hurling. Can't believe it. But he does deserve some payback for leaving out all of Game Theory man's gay adventures from his film. But Gladiator! And Romper Stomper! Oh well, what the fuck...

So, three for bear:
can't think of three slave girls, so let's go for strong women,

Emma Peel
Tara King
Purdey

hanabius yamamura

09:31 / 02.03.02

gosh , ganesh , you are so nice ... cider getting spat in soon!!

anyway ...

bag - cantankor on a really bad day with no-one watching ... 'cause we are ... AND you're coming !

shag - madonna with guy rithcie watching ... 'cause it's still madonna ... rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

crag - mariah carey ( on depixol ) with blackie lawless watching ........ there just aren't enough massively sedating anti-psychotics in the world to make that work ......

...and for you ..

buffy the vampire slayer

capt. kathryn janeway

kyla (!)

09:31 / 02.03.02

I curse this thread!

[ 02-03-2002: Message edited by: Alan Moore ]

09:31 / 02.03.02

quote:Originally posted by hana_bi:
...and for you ..

buffy the vampire slayer

capt. kathryn janeway

kyla (!)

Shag: Captain Janeway, to see if her voice becomes any less irritating in the throes of orgasm (and to see if 'Star Trek' characters in their non-Evil Parallel Self incarnations are actually capable of interesting sex...)

Bag: Buffy, because although I suspect I'd quickly become bored with her incessant doomy moping, she has a rather wonderful network of attractive undead friends who'd doubtless be dropping around every now and again for a spot of 'impaling'. I envisage a swingin' 1950s marriage with me playing Rock Hudson, all garish Speedos and cocktails round the pool, while she goes off to do... whatever it is she does.

Crag: Kyla, because she's an annoying cow, obviously (although not to around 99.8% of the board).

Don't return a favour; pass it on. Here's your delectable trio, Flyboy:

Pat(rick) Califia
Pat Butcher
Postman Pat and his black & white cat

Enjoy...

[ 02-03-2002: Message edited by: Ganesh v4.2 ]

09:31 / 02.03.02

dammit I wanna play again!

And I dunno Zocher, I personally would not be able to resist shagging Russel Crowe. But that's me.

09:31 / 02.03.02

Okay, Cherry, here's three for you:

Marlene Dietrich
Darlene from 'Roseanne'
Charlene of 'I've Been To Paradise But I've Never Been To Me' fame

Mmm...

09:31 / 02.03.02

Aaaand one for our leader, the lovely Mr Coates:

Alyson Hannigan
Laura Brannigan
Jimmy Corrigan

Haus about we all give each other a big lovely huggle?

09:31 / 02.03.02

Who am Kyla?

10:00 / 02.03.02

quote:Originally posted by The Haus where nobody goes:
Who am Kyla?

Mutual colleague of mine and hana_bi's. Very in-jokey.

10:03 / 02.03.02

Oooh!!!

Shag: Darlene! She is really adorable. I've always had a thing for her.

Bag: Definitely Marlene. How cool would that be? Glamourous, romantic, etc.

Crag: Too easy, 'Nesh. You know it has to be Charlen.

And right back at you, sir:

Nico
Bonnie Tyler (of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" fame)
Billie Holiday (remember, she does have a small problem with heroin...)

10:12 / 02.03.02

Who the hell is Laura Brannigan? Well I'm gonna have to shag er anyway, since Alyson and I must be ever together in sexless bliss and Jimmy Corrigan must be put out of his misery...

And right back atcha Elephant God -

Hitler
Stalin
Mao-Tse Tung

10:13 / 02.03.02

quote:Originally posted by Cherry Bomb:
And right back at you, sir:

Nico
Bonnie Tyler (of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" fame)
Billie Holiday (remember, she does have a small problem with heroin...)

Ooh, interesting...

Shag: Billie Holiday, because anything more than a one-night-stand would probably shatter her mystique (and mine, such as it is). I'd feel a bit of a <loaded pause> Strange Fruit, though... <canned hysterics>

Crag: Nico, because she's another one Waiting For Her Man and because her whole persona (tragic Moon Goddess) really demands a cliff-top death. Bet she'd go willingly.

Bag: Bonnie Tyler - because while the other two are seeking heroin, she's Holding Out For A Hero (har de har) and would, I suspect, be a lot of fun. She's big chums with Catherine Zeta-Jones, so I'd muscle my way into the Hollywood glitterati. And of course, I'd be the envy of slightly naff fortysomething gay men all over Gran Canaria.

Okay... Loz!

Stephen Morrissey
Wayne Hussey
Shirley Bassey

10:18 / 02.03.02

Tom, Laura Brannigan had a hit single in the early 80s and I can't remember the name of it (but I am sure Ganesh does) that went something like, "Oh the night.... is my world.... you take my self/you take my self-control - wooooaaooaah, woooooaaaaooooh...."

10:26 / 02.03.02

quote:Originally posted by Tom Coates:
Who the hell is Laura Brannigan?

Um... big-haired '80s one-hit wonder with (the rather good) 'Self Control'. Whose name, er, rhymes with 'Hannigan'.

quote:And right back atcha Elephant God -

Hitler
Stalin
Mao-Tse Tung

Hmmm... this is a facial hair question, really, innit?

Shag: Stalin, because his burly good looks (mmm... moustache...) and sexy accent would surely set my loins afire - but I feel he's not really relationship material.

Bag: Hitler, because although he had interesting fashion sense (boots, breeches, leather coats), the poor little man was crying out for a makeover ("For fuck's sake, Adolf, grow a proper one or shave the damn thing off"). With my tender ministrations, there'd be no need for him to divert his monstrous Id into world domination. We'd live happily in a bunker somewhere, enjoying fabulous SM sex, painting, occult dabbling and the Hitler Youth. And he'd soon forget the whole stupid 'Jew thing'...

Crag: Mao, because collarless tops are sooo over.

Passing the spotlight along to... Plums!

Jarvis Cocker
Joe Cocker
A Cocker Spaniel

The Return Of Rothkoid

10:34 / 02.03.02

Hmm.Her big hit actually was "Gloria", which is different from the Van Morrison song. Lyrics here - known more for the "Gloria, glor-i-ha" bit than anything else...

10:39 / 02.03.02

quote:Originally posted by The Return Of Rothkoid:
Hmm.Her big hit actually was "Gloria", which is different from the Van Morrison song. Lyrics here - known more for the "Gloria, glor-i-ha" bit than anything else...

Interesting. I remember her mainly for 'Self Control'...

Anyway... Expressionless!

Grant Morrison
Jim Morrison
Van Morrison

10:47 / 02.03.02

And, while I'm in the mood, one for Mordant:

Adam Ant
Adam Faith
Adam of Biblical 'First Man' fame/infamy

11:22 / 02.03.02

And Sax:

Joey from 'Dawson's Creek'
Joey Deacon
A joey

Matthew Fluxington

12:54 / 02.03.02

Cherry, I had a challenge for you several pages back. It was: Latrell Spreewell, Eddie Vedder, and Al Gore.

Don't ask me why.

Matthew Fluxington

12:54 / 02.03.02

For Tom Coates:

The Notorious B.I.G.
The Incredible Hulk
present-day Marlon Brando

For Sax:

Rose McGowan, with a uncurable contagious skin rash

Chloe Sevigny, in a permanent hung over haze

Bjork, who cannot help but to severely wound you whilst in the throes of passion. SEVERELY.

[ 02-03-2002: Message edited by: Flux = Expert Textpert ]

13:05 / 02.03.02

But... Flux, I want to push them ALL off the cliff!!

Shit.

If I shag one of them, I have to marry another one of them. Eeeeew. I'd like to shag Al Gore for the curiosity factor. Is he that wooden in bed? And I'd like to know his kinks. Does he like being spanked? Tied up? It would be fun to play leather dominatrix with him, so I guess I'll shag Al Gore. Imagine him in a leather straightjacket with a ballgag in his mouth. What an image. I almost wish I hadn't gone there.

Hmmm. I suppose I would marry Latrell Spreewell, because when he started beating me up (as his violent nature suggests), I could take him to court and if he got off I would have a masive publiciity campaign in my hand designed to show the injustice of domestic violence laws, and I could raise the visibility of domestic violence itself. Perfecto.

This leaves me with the immense pleasure of pushing Eddie Vedder off a cliff, preferably as he was wailing, "Eeeeeevenfllooooooowwww..." right off the side.

And now, for Copkiller:

Iggy Pop
Buster Pointdexter
Tommy Skilling

13:17 / 02.03.02

quote:Originally posted by Flux = Expert Textpert:

for Suds:

Thurston Moore
Jerry Seinfeld
Spider-Man (as played by Tobey Maguire)

ewwwwwwwwwwww.
shag: tobey maguire because he has intense eyebrows.
marry: thurston moore because he seems the dependable type and he's a feminist.
push of a cliff: jerry seinfield because i don't really know who he is.

for flyboy:
superman
wonderwoman
spiderman

for ganesh:
grotbags
the witch from the wizard of oz
rod hull and emu

for autopilot disengaged:
brian warner a-k-a marilyn manson
brian molko
bryan adams

tough, eh?

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

13:34 / 02.03.02

ooooo. I have to play.

For Glint:
Lou Reed in his heroin phase
William Blake
and
Ellis the wonderkid

For Haus:
Ian Curtis in a happy mood
Morrisey in a happy mood
and
A depressed (young) Mick Jagger

Disco is My Class War

07:00 / 03.03.02

I think there should be a rule about not giving a person a list untul they've finished their last one. Some people are going to be here for months. (Maybe that's the point.) Meanwhile, I wanna play... throw me another one.

10:36 / 03.03.02

quote:
for Rizla:
Laetitia Sadier
J-Lo
Missy Elliot

I declare that question impossible to answer, leave them all be and throw myself off the cliff.

Though, if forced, I think Shag: Laetitia (because Stereolab records are sexy), Marry: Missy (cos I don't want her to die) and Cliff: Jennifer (for being rubbish).

ha ha, take that odd choice, Loaded magazine consensus!

Now, in responce to his cursing, I nominate 'Alan Moore', and offer:

Mary Shelley
Mary Kelly
A SKELETON HORSE!

11:44 / 03.03.02

quote:Originally posted by Flux = Expert Textpert:For Sax:

Rose McGowan, with a uncurable contagious skin rash

Chloe Sevigny, in a permanent hung over haze

Bjork, who cannot help but to severely wound you whilst in the throes of passion. SEVERELY.QB]

This one's a real toughie, because they're all such nice young ladies, and Sax does so hate to disappoint.

However:

Shag: Rose McGowan. The skin rash adds a certain attractiveness. I'd be able to rub foul smelling ointment all over her first.

Marry: Chloe Sevigny. She'd lie around the house all day smoking and trashing the place, making me look positively tidy and healthy.

Cliff: Got to be the Bjorkster. Wouldn't want to share a bed with her collection of mutilated soft toys and have her screeching Nordicly in my ear at first light.

11:47 / 03.03.02

quote:Originally posted by Ganesh v4.2:
And Sax:

Joey from 'Dawson's Creek'
Joey Deacon
A joey

Shag: Joey from Dawson's. Bit obvious, I know, but she has that innocent quality that demands defiling.

Marry: Joey Deacon. I'd be the toast of 30 somethings everywhere. And I'd be able to wear his Blue Peter badge.

Crag: A joey. I presume you mean a baby kangaroo? Just to see if it bounces.

Okay, I owe two people:

MC Lentil:

Harry Potter
Harry Lime
Harry Windsor

And Ariadne:

JRR Tolkien
JR Hartley
JR Ewing.

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