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The miserable thread

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22:30 / 11.08.07

Besides, it probably pays better than general writing gigs.

It probably should, but the writing's fetching a vastly more impressive sum than the pittance I'm currently getting from the day job. Which is the price you pay for starting over in a new career every five or six years, I guess.

Winking smiley, with just a hint of self-pity.

But thanks, seriously. I make a bigger deal of this, in my own head, than it needs to be, and it really doesn't help me. The positive responses that my moaning generates from you guys always do, though, so we may well see another of those posts in the future. Even though, ideally, somebody would figure out a way of locking me out of this thread so that I never post anything so self-indulgent again.

22:33 / 11.08.07

Sorenson, remember they do it cause they love you.....

If that small comfort goes any way towards stopping you garotting them with a puke-stained bib....

22:34 / 11.08.07

Even though, ideally, somebody would figure out a way of locking me out of this thread so that I never post anything so self-indulgent again.

It's the miserable thread, dude.

That's what it's there for.

22:42 / 11.08.07

Arg, thanks iamus. I take back some of the stuff from elsewhere about a lack of community on Barbelith - support in this thread is absolutely fantastic and, speaking purely for myself, massively important.

Disco is My Class War

22:53 / 11.08.07

sorenson, argh. I feel for you. And before I had over there and kidnap the three of you, a cup of tea and a talking-to does sound like a good idea. And if there's any possible way you can get more sleep, do it. It can't be helping your skills at coping with frustrating lovely grandmas with fixed ideas about how little ones should be behaving.

Lots of love, also.

Mysterious Transfer Student

23:16 / 11.08.07

Was having a fairly nice evening watching stupid telly with my ex until about eleven when some of our friendly neighbourhood shitwits threw eggs at our front windows. She's gone to bed now upset because we had almost succeeded in forgetting that some people around here hate us and that we're splitting up (not for that reason). She's gone to ground and, I think, is getting a sympathetic ear from her SL friends. I'm sitting up researching property companies that'll buy your house for a knockdown price because neither of us wants to have to sell the place properly, we just want to get the fuck out of here and get on with our separate lives.

I'm feeling pretty worthless right now. Worthlessness, in fact, is more or less the air I breathe.

02:01 / 12.08.07

Sorenson, remember they do it cause they love you.....

I know! and that makes it even harder. they're distracted this morning by cleaning out our pantry - unasked, mind you - with many comments and complaints about the contents within (yesterday they did the fridge). but at least they are not hovering over the baby.

we could try sitting them down and talking to them about how we feel except that it is a profoundly untalky about emotional things family - very warm and polite, but not terribly good at true intimacy. so it would be very weird. i have to give c's mum credit - she is at least trying to think of us and not step on our toes too much.

i think that all we can do is just keep reminding ourselves that they love us, they are doing their job of being interfering and takey-overy of the baby beautifully, and they won't be here forever. and when they go, c will miss them (i won't!), so we have to try very hard to enjoy the nice stuff while they are here.

all the while silently screaming inside....

(it is hard to remember to enjoy the baby with all this other madness around. i miss the days of just being with him. and am looking forward to quiet times soon where the three of us can just hang out and look at each other and do things at our own pace.)

11:12 / 13.08.07

I'm a fucking accountant. I've got an innate ability for juggling and presenting numbers.

That's the most depressing thought I've had in years. I'm a natural goddamn bean-counter.

I'm an accountant. Thanks, Enigmatic Wang, for making me feel really good about myself.

11:48 / 13.08.07

No one profession is perfect for everyone, mind. Accountacy is as good a profession as any if that's what you're into. I very much doubt it was a personal slight, just the headsick of job dissatisfaction. Why don't you feel good about it now? Do you not enjoy it yourself?

Trancougar, sorry to hear you're feeling shite at the moment. Pay no attention to the feckless bastards from around about. At the end of the day, they may make you miserable for a while, but at least you don't have to be them, which is almost definitely a much worse fate.

The shite'll pass. You just have to keep at it, you know?

15:35 / 13.08.07

My Intransigent Spouse has been prompting me to take classes lately to become a forensic accountant.

Apparently, this is a profitable field. And fights crime.

I have zero aptitude for it, but she might do well at it herself.

Mysterious Transfer Student

16:41 / 13.08.07

At the end of the day, they may make you miserable for a while, but at least you don't have to be them, which is almost definitely a much worse fate.

That's my position, and yeah, I know they're probably treated horribly by their parents and stuff and have miserably diminished horizons, so I can at least stuff the pillow of insight over the fat face of my inner Daily Mail reader. Planning to get the fug out of here before very much longer, what's more.

Thanks for the V.o.C., still.

20:25 / 13.08.07

Mike Wieringo, who drew real good (Fantastic Four and Flash among other things), and was by many counts a fine and fab human being, has died of heart complications. A feel a bit bad that, when there are people legitimately mourning him, I'm missing the guy for his work, but I do, and I'll miss the art, especially all the personal art or the sketched revisions we'd not commercially see, but I do - one of the few comics artists I randomly google for pictures by upon waking on random days, as I was doing when I saw the news.

20:33 / 13.08.07

I'm an accountant. Thanks, Enigmatic Wang, for making me feel really good about myself.

That's correct. I was saying that accountancy is a terrible profession and that anybody who takes it up is an idiot.

Wait, wait. I wasn't, was I?

23:08 / 13.08.07

I hate this creeping feeling that I'm doing things wrong. If only there was something solid that I could point to and say, "This is it". If I could do that, I could start fixing the problem. But no, it's just . . . ugh.

Also, I got a crap haircut yesterday.

23:12 / 13.08.07

That surely only increases the chances of striking up a conversation with all those witty, interesting and erudite people out there who also got themselves crap haircuts yesterday?

Hallo, Paper Spaceboy

23:37 / 13.08.07

Plus, baseball caps are often very sexy.

00:11 / 14.08.07

especially on baseball players with very large...paychecks.

Crap hair grows back and you can always think of it as one of those learning expriences that make you a better person. I hear they're really wonderful.

00:35 / 14.08.07

I'm sure I could see this as an opportunity to learn about the societal oppression and self-loathing of those with unintentionally bad haircuts. There are probably LiveJournal communities dedicated to people who have them . . . and maybe accountants have crap haircuts too? I've never met an accountant in real life (at least not an "out" accountant), but maybe I would fit right in. Which reminds me, I need to do my tax return. That gives me a good excuse to stay indoors!

Mysterious Transfer Student

16:14 / 19.08.07

If someone were to 'phone you while you were in the middle of doing something they hadn't asked you to do for them but which would definitely benefit them and you answered rather heatedly, implying that they were to blame for the situation, but then immediately retracted and apologised for what you'd said, you'd perhaps hope that the person would accept your apology and greet you, when they returned home shortly afterward, with equanimity if not bonhomie? It seems not.

Mysterious Transfer Student

16:56 / 19.08.07

You two, loneliness and paranoia, you can fuck off. And take crushing guilt with you.

18:00 / 19.08.07

Ouch, Tran. That sucks. To be fair, if someone moaned at me for something I hadn't asked them to do I'd probably be a bit pissed off too. It'll blow over soon, I'm sure. Be well.

18:08 / 19.08.07

My point being that expecting someone to be finished being angry when you'd like them to be is, well, a bit hopeful, if nothing else.

Gendudehashadenough

22:35 / 20.08.07

One of the blue men with a unicorn ON HIS ARM has located YOU. There might be some kind of nonsense involved with this, or maybe, he just likes playing games w/ his ARM. Tickles me miserable.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

22:46 / 20.08.07

I am miserable about a thing I'm not supposed to talk about, involving people you don't know. But it's pretty horrible and sad. You'll just have to take my word for it.

17:43 / 21.08.07

My cat ate part of a lily. Now he's in the animal hospital, and they've fed him charcoal and put an IV in him and they don't know if he's going to die and if he doesn't he may have permanent kidney damage and I feel like such a moron for not knowing that lilies are toxic to cats.

17:58 / 21.08.07

Gee, Cailin, that really, really sucks. I never heard that about lilies and cats too. I think you have every right to be miserable about that, but I see no reason for you to feel guilty (if that's what you're feeling, of course) or "like a moron". It was just an unexpected accident, in the end.

I wish all turns out the best way possible.

18:47 / 21.08.07

Sorry for your and your cat's troubles Cailín!
I hope the charcoal does the trick.

I had no idea about cats and lillies and often have the two in my house lounging about the dinning room table! yikes!

18:53 / 21.08.07

I just found this list of plants/flowers and sent it to my florist so she can print it out for her customers. It's not a complete list but it's more than nothing!

MattShepherd: I WEDDED KALI!

18:54 / 21.08.07

I also didn't know that about cats and lilies! I knew poinsettias were bad, and that was it. So while it's cold comfort now, you may have saved a bunch more cats in the future by posting that.

19:11 / 21.08.07

yes so please don't add to your current emotional pain by thinking you were being a moron! It really is a mistake many of us would have made, sadly...

Cats can heal from all sorts of things, try not to focus on the negative outcomes at this point! there are just as many hopeful ones!

I think it is pretty spectacular you got your cat to the vet in time for any sort of treatment. I suspect many people might not have bothered.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

19:30 / 21.08.07

Oh blimey, Cailín! What a horrible thing to have happen--poor puddy, and poor you too. Please don't beat yourself up.

21:03 / 21.08.07

Cailín, my sympathies. I don't know what I'd do if such a thing happened to my little dog... being very miserable would be part of it I'm sure. I hope your cat recovers well.

My current misery is that I'm a fraud and it's wearing on me. I managed to find a good bit of work - subcontracted work - but it's turned into this torturous charade of me pretending to be a Christian Republican like my employer & coworker, and I don't know how long I can keep it up. We listen to Christian radio and they talk about the Lord all day. I mostly keep silent and smile, even through biting comments about "the liberal left wingers" and how the Big Bang obviously can't be true because it doesn't feel right in your heart, and... ohmigod... this is my only bread and butter, I can't lose this job... but I don't know if I can get through it either. These ARE the sort of people who would dump me for being a liberal atheist, and it's stresses me out every minute of every day. I'm terrified of exposure, and faking it makes me depressed.

I think I also may have lost a potential client last weekend because over dinner politics came up (why? Why??) and they were none too pleased with my SO's and my blueness. It sucks to be a socially ostracized minority group, it really does. Right now I feel like my choices are to either live in fear and paranoia, or unemployment and isolation. I hope I can tap into some kind of subculture here that would welcome me... if I can find them....

21:22 / 21.08.07

ibis can you frame it as performance art or deep cover? Imagine that you are exploring a foreign culture so you might return to share your new found insights with the rest of us?

Maybe on an alien world?

Maybe if all else fails you should go to the local pound and make friends with the volunteers?

22:17 / 21.08.07

My SO says to think of it like I'm an aspiring actor and Hollywood and I have to suck up to the Scientologists.

23:14 / 21.08.07

God, sorry Ibis. That's really pretty horrible. I don't mind keeping my mouth shut sometimes, because to do otherwise would turn my life into an ceaseless argument, but at least I can feel free to speak up when it's intolerable. Sounds like you're nearly hogtied, if your only freedom is to lose your livelihood.
And, I don't think it matters where you are, you'll find a truly welcoming group, it just takes work to find them. I don't know any here, mind you. But I haven't looked.

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