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A friend of mine (not the one many of you know, I hasten to add, before really bad impressions of a guy who's just a bit of a dick start forming) phoning to ask whether I and her other friends would hate her if she didn't leave her (well, basically abusive, I suspect) boyfriend, having been advised to do so by various people (and, well, to be honest that's the best idea)- that makes me, well, not miserable, but sad, worried and concerned. It's not my decision, it's not any of her other friends' decision, it's hers. She's really fucked in the head over this right now, and has been for quite a while. Thing is, she's on the verge of starting to resent people for badmouthing the guy she's in love with, so I'm trying to be the one who doesn't do that and just tries to be objective and sympathetic, even though I'm pretty sure she should get the fuck out, otherwise she's not going to listen to anyone at all. And the fact that she's terrified that if she makes the wrong decision all her friends will hate her makes me very sad. And it's not true (okay, there'll be various levels of disapproval and concern, but that's not the same as hating someone). As does the fact that she keeps feeling the need to get so apologetic for talking to me about this when I'm actually doing pretty well, life-wise. I don't really like seeing that kind of insecurity in people I care about, even though I have tons of it myself.
Erm... I think I just don't like seeing my friends upset. Or, for that matter, in really bad situations when there's not anything I can directly do to help. I mean, yeah, fuck it, I can answer the phone and be a friend, but I can't wave a magic wand and sort it out, and that really pisses me off.
(And before anyone gets all cynical, no, this is not someone I have designs on). |
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