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yeah, you guys are right. He has his good qualities, but he's a bit of an asshole. And I do need to keep track of the cigarettes, because I don't smoke his cigarettes, and he smokes a lot of mine. He also owes me $130. I haven't asked him to pay for the cigarettes he smokes, and I'm not going to, but I always make sure I have enough cigarettes for myself for the night before the market in this town closes, and he thinks that if he runs out at 3 am that I should drive him to another town to get more, when it's something I don't do for myself.
I'm sort of confused about what to do on the breaking-up issue. He's now my roommate as well as my boyfriend, and I wouldn't mind living with him if he weren't such a mooch. If I broke up with him, but he continued living here, I don't think he'd be less of a mooch, and would probably be more of an asshole. I know that's not a good reason to not break up with someone, but I'd like to keep dating him if I didn't think he were using me, and if he continues living here, he's not going to stop using me unless I can find a way to change this situation.
I'm also not convinced that he actually is using me. He does have money problems. I tend to be bad with money also, but for different reasons. He doesn't really seem to understand how to budget and the like, at all. He has said that he can't understand fractions, and I've noticed that he uses a calculator to divide a small number by 2. I'm not convinced that he can add or subtract. He gets a rather small check each month, and suppliments it by selling homemade jewelery. If he makes $50 from selling jewelry, he'll think that it's a lot and spend money on dvd's or games, because he thinks he'll have enough left over to last until he gets more, but then he'll run out before he sells more jewelery. Before he moved in, he convinced someone to loan him a hell of a lot of money so that he could buy an expensive laptop and an ipod, and he's paying it off monthly. He didn't anticipate moving in here, and thus didn't consiter his share of the rent when he bought the computer and ipod (he didn't even know me then). He sometimes talks about all the expensive stuff he thinks he's going to buy once he's gotten me and the other person he owes money to paid off, but I know he's not being realistic about how much more money he'll have once he's out of debt. I've been trying to convince him that spending money before you have it is a bad idea. He said that he wants to get a bank account (he doesn't curently have a bank account) that has a $500 overdraft limit, and overdraft it by exactly that ammount immediatly, then pay it off later. I think that is a very, very bad idea, but he thinks it's a great idea, and I can't really understand how anyone could think that it's a good idea.
I know that sometimes he wants to go to the store at 3 am because he was out of money, then sold jewelry at 11pm, and needs to get food. I have been loaning him money when he doesn't have enough for food or smokes or bus money, because I don't want him to be unable to eat, and if he can't get into town, he can't sell jewelery, which would mean that he can't get any more money until the end of the month. I think that part of the reason that he wants me to drive him into town and pick him up so much is because he can't afford to pay for the bus, but I'm paying for this in car costs. (One of the things that he thinks he'll somehow be able to afford once he gets me and that other dude paid off is a motorcycle. While I'd love for him to have his own transportation, I know damn well that he can't afford the maintinence of a motorcycle, but I don't think he understands the costs invovled beyond the intial cost of the actual motorcycle itself, and I also don't think he'd be a very good driver. He can't see very well. Numerous times when I've stopped for pedestrians crossing the street he's asked me why we're stopped, and I've responded "there are people walking in front of the car." I would think that would be obvious, and if it's not, he shouldn't be driving.)
I really need to stop typing right now. Sorry if this is boring you all, and if it just seems obvious that I need to break up with him. I do like him and care about him. He also appologized for being such a mooch right after I posted on Barbelith, so hopefully he actually realizes that he needs to treat me better. I'm far from perfect myself, and I'd like to try to work things out. |
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