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Underground > Creation >

One sentence angst

  
  

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aus
03:46 / 31.08.02
"Here," whispered John, handing Morrissey a switchblade, "Off yourself now and you'll never be sickened again."
 
 
Ganesh
04:30 / 31.08.02
"My love is as sharp as a needle in your eye," whispered 'Muffin' Morrissey to himself, touching a trembling finger to the knife's keen blade, "you must be such a fool to pass me by."
 
 
aus
23:11 / 31.08.02
John realized he had begun involuntarily crooning a song he had once overheard his mother singing:
"You're the one for me, fatty,
You're the one I really, really love.
And I will stay,
Promise you'll say if I'm in your way."
 
 
Tryphena Absent
23:36 / 31.08.02
He sat back in order to get a better view of the death of Morrissey, reached in to his pocket and absently produced a chocolate bar, his eyes always intent on the man before him.
 
 
aus
23:43 / 31.08.02
"All over Battersea, some hope and some despair," John crooned softly, "All over Battersea, some hope and some despair."
 
 
gridley
14:31 / 03.09.02
"Look, kid," said the conductor irritably, "stop singing every time I open my mouth."
 
 
Mr Tricks
23:35 / 03.09.02
It was at this point, to the shock of both John and the train conductor, Superman burst through the side wall of the still moving train, a slight trace of green lipstick visible on his left cheek.
 
 
Ganesh
23:47 / 03.09.02
"You have lovely eyes, sir," he told 'Muffin' Morrissey with utmost gravity, "but this vehicle has a bomb on board, and I'm here to vacate you folks a.s.a.p."
 
 
Panda.
00:06 / 04.09.02
"Fuck off you cunt!" John screamed, and he came all over Supermans naked buttocks, and he came again, and again, he couldn't stop, and now, he was cuming blood, and Superman, enraged, shot John through the heart with his laser beam gaze, surely killing the skinny little twat once and for all?
 
 
Ganesh
00:17 / 04.09.02
"There," smiled Superman, wiping cum from his buttockless tights with what seemed like an unduly lingering hand, "I've corrected the mitral valve defect which might have killed you in later life".
 
 
aus
02:38 / 04.09.02
"Later life?" screamed John, struck with the irony of Superman's life-saving action when John's hired assassin was already hours late.
 
 
000
09:33 / 04.09.02
Meanwhile, Batman was brooding in his batcave over the fact that he couldn't reach Superman via the BatPhone, and dismissively pushed needy Alfred down to the ground.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
12:55 / 04.09.02
'AAARRRGGGGHHHHH, I can't believe these attention seeking superheroes, don't they know I'm more important?'
 
 
gridley
13:21 / 04.09.02
Suddenly growing upwards from a molecule on the tip of John's nose to a height of just over two inches, Ray Palmer--aka The Atom--grabbed John's cheeks (one in each little hand) and screamed, "SUPERHEROES AREN'T REAL, JOHN!!!!"
 
 
Mr Tricks
18:00 / 04.09.02
At this point John heard someone mutter "I'm the best there is at what I do."
 
 
aus
18:27 / 04.09.02
Coincidentally, this was exactly the same self-recommendation the assassin-for-hire had used.
 
 
gridley
18:58 / 04.09.02
John turned around quickly, breathless at the thought that his time had come, but it had just been two lady hairdressers discussing their techniques for shaving pubic hair.
 
 
Panda.
23:48 / 04.09.02
So nobody was more surprised than John when both ladies suddenly found themselves impaled on three long, sharp, metallic claws apiece, expertly piercing their chests, and accompanied by a sound that went something like "snikt".
 
 
Panda.
23:50 / 04.09.02
"Why are all the oldies getting such a raw deal in this story?" muttered Clint eastwood, on his way to Preston to promote his latest feature, Blood Work, which is, coincidentally, crap.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
02:26 / 05.09.02
John had really had enough so he walked in to a metal spike.
 
 
aus
03:16 / 05.09.02
He would have bled to death but the pandas saved him by giving him transfusions of their own blood straight from the arteries in their groins.
 
 
aus
03:20 / 05.09.02
Quick! Give this panda a sugary drink before it faints!
 
 
gridley
13:29 / 05.09.02
As his body filled with soothing red panda blood, John started to drift of into a bizarre dream about a man trying to sell him a buddhist temple.
 
 
000
13:57 / 05.09.02
Which was situated next to the gloomy batcave.
 
 
000
14:13 / 05.09.02
Upon closer inspection of the man, John thought he looked familiar; seemingly out of the blue he asked "Are you Warren Ellis, and is the buddhist temple you're trying to sell me all the unsold copies of Transmet?"
 
 
cusm
17:41 / 05.09.02
"Here kid, try this on for size," Ellis replied, pressing into John's hands a worn issue of Authority with several pages stuck together.
 
 
Mr Tricks
19:46 / 05.09.02
It was at this point John's Body began to sprout Black & White Fur.
 
 
gridley
21:04 / 05.09.02
John felt as though he was going blind, watching black fur grown quick as flash around his shrinking eyes, but he was even more shocked when he reached to touch his face and found he had no fingers, because his hands were now paws.
 
 
Panda.
00:08 / 06.09.02
"Hmmh, ypu look like a good, gay buddy of mine, bud" said the five foot runt with the cigar and spiky hair, and John would have replied with his assassination request, but the only sound that left his mouth was a low, furry growl.....
 
 
cusm
00:30 / 06.09.02
"Great, now I'm a furry," John thought to himself in disgust.
 
 
gridley
12:40 / 06.09.02
"Well, might as well come with me," said Logan, taking John's paw, "I've always wanted a little panda pal."
 
 
cusm
13:17 / 06.09.02
As degrading as this was, John realized suddenly that while cute, Pandas are still whopping big bears with whopping big claws and teeth.
 
 
Panda.
17:53 / 06.09.02
He wondered if, despite Logan's healing factor and aluminium-laced skeleton, he could kill the midget bastard...
 
 
aus
18:18 / 06.09.02
Alternatively, being a tree panda he could zip up a nearby tree and take a flying leap off the top, if only he could first get off this train and its eternal journey.
 
 
Panda.
22:03 / 06.09.02
It was at that precise moment that King Mob showed up...
 
  

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