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Less searchable M0rd4nt
00:54 / 09.09.07
beep
Hi, this is trolling support, how can I help you?

Hi, yeah, I've been kicked off my message board for calling everyone humourless gay assholes, and I want to get back on there and annoy them some more before their anger fades?

No problem sir, I'll set you up with a new identity and password... there, that should be waiting for you when you go back, and do remember to deny any connection with your previous suit for the first few days.

Is is okay to start a thread asking why that last guy was kicked off and saying how great he was, like a trickster figure?

It's almost mandatory, sir.

--Janean Patience wins at Policy.
 
 
Quantum
11:51 / 09.09.07
Invisible CHaus Majickian gets bonus points for use of the phrase 'Man Gravy' on top of the coffee-spitting funny of vampire teletubby servitors. Twisted puissant genius.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
12:04 / 09.09.07
That whole shtick is note-perfect. All that's missing is a sig line consisting of Jake Horsely quotes.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
16:19 / 09.09.07
Indeed. In all my years of Barbelith, this could quite possibly be my favourite ever manifestation of Haus. Until that one I still thought his channeling of Mark Millar was unbeatable, but no. THIS Haus is on FIRE.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
13:38 / 11.09.07
As is Petey/Fly, as here, when he illustrates the dangers of judging a movie by its trailer:

Man, more like thirty seconds! And then the whole thing is over in a couple of minutes! This film looks so rushed! What's with all the really short scenes? This is going to suOH MY GOD I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF. I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.
 
 
Hallo, Paper Spaceboy
20:05 / 11.09.07
Princess in the Miserable Thread:

Brian Dowling later being told G.A.Y stood for "Good As You" makes me feel sad that Oscar Wilde is so obviously dead.
 
 
Spaniel
17:22 / 13.09.07
Thanks to Stinklet for some excellent context

Do we....

Do we drink...

Do we drink the kitten?

Happy Q asks an important question.
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
18:15 / 13.09.07
I LOVE the little message you get when you edit your own shit, too!

Stoatie gets all scatophiliac about the new edit function.
 
 
Quantum
09:52 / 24.09.07
I call it the "box" model of feminism. Essentially, women are in a box - like in Boxing Helena.
^^^^^^^Invisible^^^^^^^^
{{{{{{{{{Chaos}}}}}}}}}
}}}}}}}}Majickian{{{{{{
 
 
electric monk
14:12 / 05.10.07
Nobody beats the Biz:

I used to love Strawman and Whipping-Boy. But they cancelled it after only 11 issues.

A much needed laugh. Thank you!
 
 
Bear
15:43 / 05.10.07
I was just coming here to post that one. It made me forget about my hangover for a second, now I'm going to sit here in the office doodling Strawman and whipping boy.
 
 
Quantum
13:50 / 06.10.07
That was a lie, I love, love, love, love Galliano, I would lick him all over his face like a mad cat if I met him. Tryphena Sparks in the fashion trends you hate thread

I love Galliano too, but it gives me a blinding hangover.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
09:31 / 09.10.07
Tim Kring, creator of Heroes, came across as pretty arrogant, largely because he makes point of the fact he hasn't actually read many comics.

The goddamn turbodouche.

The Comic Books forum really is turning into a pocket dimension.
 
 
Mug Chum
13:02 / 09.10.07
Pocket dimension?

Turbodouche?
(is there something ghastly about Patrick I'm not aware of?)
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
13:12 / 09.10.07
Haus' point is that Tim Kring is not, actually, necessarily a turbodouche just because he dares to make a TV show about superheroes without having read many comics - something I'd imagine he makes a point of because of the number of people who assume X element of Heroes is inspired by Y comic.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
13:12 / 09.10.07
Patrick isn't a turbodouche, Tim Kring is. He doesn't read many comic books, you know.

I bet it was Tim Kring who knocked out that beautiful tooth. That beautiful, perfect tooth. I'm gooing to EAT HIS EYES.
 
 
Spaniel
13:17 / 09.10.07
I think it's a point well worth making. Fucking ridiculous to criticize the man on that basis.
 
 
Mug Chum
13:18 / 09.10.07
Oh, I'm terribly sorry (and thank you for clarifying).

Just the way you put it, seemed like it was missing a "-".

(and concerning the tooth, I'm mildy curious if my favorite comic book writer is becoming Alfred Newman)
 
 
Mug Chum
13:21 / 09.10.07
I took his point as a badly made one based on other moments he might have failed to mention (I mean, he was there and I wasn't -- the guy could have been... douchy... in some way).

Although I didn't really paid much attention 'cause I didn't knew who he was. Mignola seemed the most interesting in the panel.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
13:37 / 09.10.07
Why would you lie? Obviously he wasn't.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:07 / 09.10.07
That sentance sent shivers down my spine. If someone did that to any of my Sandman stuff I'd break their fingers. With a mallet. I think the presentation of The Wake in graphic novel form (hardback, 1st) is quite possibly one of the most beautiful books I own. I'm also very fond of Alice in Sunderland by Brian Talbot. It was pure pleasure reading that book, not just for the content.

Bent spine? Broked fingers!
 
 
Papess
20:29 / 10.10.07
If I, Businessperson X, want to sell my grappelgrommets to Businessperson Y, then it helps us both if we know that we are expected to be on time for the meeting, conduct financial dealings following good accounting practices, be polite and forthright, and speak a language that the other understands (or have interpreters on hand to help with this).

If Businessperson Y shows up fifteen minutes late dressed in a gorilla costume, shouts "I am king of the vampire people!" and urinates on my shoes, there's a problem -- not only in terms of me not wanting to do business with Businessperson Y, but in terms of the stress this puts on the whole system.

MattSheperd in "Professional Behaviour", Head Shop.

Because urinating on someone's shoes is not an acceptable practice in all professions.
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
20:41 / 10.10.07
Obviously, you've never met my staff....
 
 
Papess
21:29 / 10.10.07
Nor do I want to now, Kali! But hey, in some professions urinating on your colleague's attire is expected!
 
 
Olulabelle
20:42 / 15.10.07
Yes. But in a gorilla suit?
 
 
Jawsus-son Starship
16:29 / 17.10.07
If superheroes want to protest what they see to be political iniquities, should they dress up as agressive divorced men to draw attention to their cause? At the very least, this would have made Civil War a more entertaining read.

The other GM's critique of Marvel's last crossover makes me roflcopter.
 
 
Papess
03:10 / 18.10.07
Well, there's one more moderator who voted on the action who has yet to come forward and apologise. They may not feel they need to do so, they may fear becoming the target of persecution, or they may be asleep. If nobody comes forward, I suppose we will have to strip everyone but Bizunth of mod powers in Comic Books and recruit new moderators. Given the incredible power you get, no sane person is likely to turn down the offer.

I love you Haus. I am probably drunk though.
 
 
Papess
03:18 / 18.10.07
Yes. But in a gorilla suit?

Yes. Gorilla, bunny, cheerleader...sometimes they don't care so long as you are pissing on them, or their shoes.

I may be drunk or channeling Granny.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
20:34 / 20.10.07
An oldie but a goodie - Jack Fear, as we try to remember the lyrics to the Iron Man cartoon:

Iron Man, Iron Man,
Does whatever an iron can;
Presses pants, really fine
Keeps those pleats right in line
Hey there!
There goes the Iron Man!
 
 
Jack Fear
12:43 / 21.10.07
To be fair, I actually stole that wholesale from a background gag in an old issue of SHE-HULK—written by John Byrne, of all people.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
15:04 / 23.10.07
Everybody acts like a geeky little cock, but somehow the universe thinks they're being really cool, edgy and tough (even when talking about celebrities. Or sleeping with them!).

Ziparrow successfully condenses 'Write the Mark Millar way' into about two sentences.
 
 
Ron Stoppable
08:09 / 24.10.07
In the ongoing Avengers thread, Copey's petulant "Hulk bored" gave me the guffaw.
 
 
Quantum
12:13 / 25.10.07
Rob Liefeld - a hack, a jock and a fool - mocks Alan Moore - a beardy magickian and comics genius - for his magical inclinations and pretensions. Short of Fred West calling Buddha a nob, I'm not sure if there is an easier question for Barbelith to take sides on.
Haus from here

It's the image of Alan Moore as a stoic buddha that got me, smiling serenely.
 
 
iamus
12:18 / 25.10.07
I was going to quote that too. Just the last sentence mind, but that's a bit lovely I have to say.
 
 
Essential Dazzler
12:22 / 25.10.07
The first rays of light announce his entry into the system as he breaks around the rim of Thangar. I reposition continents of my forestry in anticipation, allowing those first gentle rays before the solar storms to send photosynthetic paroxysms shivering across my skin. My oceans swell and the plankton sing. Soon it will be hot. Hot enough to boil that song into a plate-shifting moan.

Solaris, tyrant of my core, merely fixes me with his cold, cruel eye.

He flares, and brings me to Perihelion

Iamus. Mogo. Solaris. Slash. Fiction. Magnificent. Bastard.
 
  

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