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The official Ninja homepage! "These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet."

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The Return Of Rothkoid

13:38 / 24.04.02

Proof that ninjas suck:

That, and the fact that the TMNT were hangin' with Vanilla Ice. Like I said, ain't no such thing as a cool ninja.

13:44 / 24.04.02

Why the hell do I want to get killed and not know it? Pirates would tear my arm off and use it to hold the keg of mead and rum they're swilling, since they'd have hooks for each hand and wouldn't be able to drink unless they used my ripped-off arm. I'd have to die slowly thinking about how cool and collected these drunk-ass pirates were. Pirates have much better pub-fu.

Much cooler than ninjas.

13:45 / 24.04.02

Besides, did Roman Polanski ever make a movie about ninjas? Didn't think so. He definitely didn't make one starring Walter Matthau.

13:51 / 24.04.02

Imagine a pirate who gave up life on the high seas and travelled the east and was trained to become a ninja, while travelling Europe he was bitten and became a vampire. Imagine, just imagine !!

14:36 / 24.04.02

A vampire ninja pirate?

15:15 / 24.04.02

Exactly!

15:30 / 24.04.02

There was this movie: Ice Pirates...There was no Ice Ninja movie. Pirates rule.

15:33 / 24.04.02

When searching for ninjas on ice I came across this link -

*******************
OutlawStar.Org - The Unofficial Home of Outlaw Star
... Rob Cain. Rob Cain. Fred Luo. Fred Luo. Swanzo and Mikey. Swanzo and Mikey. Hot
Ice Hilda. Hot Ice Hilda. Iris. Iris. Kei Pirate Ninjas. Kei Pirate Ninjas. Clyde.
Clyde. ...
*****************************

is there some sort of conspiracy going on here?

wembley can change in 28 days

16:18 / 24.04.02

In the vampire thread, there is a definite tradition of undead or ghostly pirates wreaking havoc; however ninjas appear to be strongest only in live format.

Ergo, pirates rock.

16:23 / 24.04.02

Yeah - I mean, See-Thru Pirates?!? Just imagine the liscensing rights. Little clear plastic figurines like that AWESOME Dead Force Yoda we all used to have. And Pirates are waay more like Star Wars, so that just makes them incredibly cool.

But really. Invisible Pirates. You'd be sitting at home working and then just like, hear "arrr" behind you and completely freeze in your chair because you just knew there was a fucking cool pirate stealing everything out of your booze cabinet and taking your women.

wembley can change in 28 days

16:29 / 24.04.02

Yeah, like I saw this kid who caught a stray parrot that had a gold earring, and it was totally cool, and the parrot told him he was going to die like a m*therf*cking worm, and then the kid heard "Arrr!" from behind him and it was an Invisible Pirate and then the kid was up in the air walking the Invisible Plank, and I was like omigod WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

16:33 / 24.04.02

See? See? What's the point in becoming "invisible" when you have ultimate stealth power? Man, ninjas are so fast they kill you five or six times before they actually kill you!!! And they don't even think about it! If a ninja decides to kick your ass, you can rest assured that even your seventh generation will be born retarded from the beating effects!

16:33 / 24.04.02

Ninjas don't usually become vampires. Sometimes they gain cool demon powers, though. Way cool demon ninjas kill vampire pirates with their flipped out chi. Ninjas can kill anything. Demon ninjas can kill things that are already dead.

16:39 / 24.04.02

The ninjas are getting all worried now, bragging about all that 'stealth power' crap again. Without stealth power, ninjas are just skinny tweebs in footie pajamas. Pirates turn invisible because they want to, not because they need to. They're too busy drinking with your woman to bother being stealthy. Besides, what's the point of taking all your stuff if you don't know they did it?

16:43 / 24.04.02

Ninjas playing guitar? Stealth powers?

As everybody knows, only samurai play guitars. One can see this in the fine film Six-String Samurai.

As for the stealth powers. They have no real "power". They just use natural lighting and stuff. They use the shadows that are already there because their footie pajamas blend in. They don't have any secret shadow magic or anything.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

17:33 / 24.04.02

Yeah. It's all lighting. So in effect, ninjas are just stage technicians. Who, while useful, are definately not as cool as pirates.

God! So hard to decide. Let's use a gaming reference...um...alright, warhammer. The closest thing to ninjas are assassins, and by god they can kill just about anything, up to and including dragons. With the right weapon, they can put a god to sleep. And they can really wail on a lute. So they're pretty damn cool.

Come to think of it, pirates are not present in the fantasy game. Arrr! What does this mean?

How about personal cleansliness?

Pirates: Pretty filthy; stink like a dead moose carcass. You can smell them coming a good distance away.

Ninjas: No one has ever smelled a ninja and lived to tell about it. And since you can't smell a ninja coming to get you, we'll have to assume that ninjas do not stink as bad.

Then again, look at The Hand. A bunch of pussy ninjas who get the shit knocked out of them by every god damn person who comes within a ten mile radius. I'm pretty sure I saw the Power Pack beat the fuck out of them once. Fuck, I think Scooby Doo took them down a couple times.

Arrr! No kids be messin' with any Pirates. No damn dog and van full o' kids, either. All the pirates in the shows were imposters, not true pirate-ghosts, who be much more deadly.

17:43 / 24.04.02

One thing people haven't considered is the longevity of pirates. I mean, check out some sci-fi movies and anime. They have space PIRATES, but I don't see any space ninjas.

17:45 / 24.04.02

Peg-legs and parrot shit on their shoulders make pirates decidedly less cool.

17:54 / 24.04.02

But pirates who have parrots who have peg-legs is waaaaay cool.

Well I've started work on a pirates vs ninja vid. game! You see what this thread has done to me!!!!

17:55 / 24.04.02

And let's not forget that the Tick beat the hell out of ninjas...

18:01 / 24.04.02

and they keep hanging ot around airports getting sucked into jet turbines.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

18:01 / 24.04.02

Kegboy: it needed to be done. Godspeed.

18:50 / 24.04.02

You can never beat all the ninja. There are always more, hordes bouncing along the treetops and lurking in the shadows. Ninja are everywhere. We don't see much of pirates.

18:52 / 24.04.02

Cool! What type of game is it? What programming language?

Of course you don't see many pirates. They're all getting extremely drunk.

19:14 / 24.04.02

Trijhaos: Im not quite sure yet...it depends on if I can get some people together to do the programming..and what type they can do. I'd like to do
a 3d fighter. Like Soul Calibur...but with Ninja and Pirate. Or maybe a Final Fantasy type game... I dont do programmng. Im the art guy.

19:18 / 24.04.02

A final fantasy type game would probably be easiest to do. One could use verge which is basically a heavily modified form of c, or do straight C programming. Verge would probably be easiest to do though, since its got a pretty decent tile/graphics editor. You could rip sprites from the first final fantasy game since it has both pirates and ninjas in it.

19:30 / 24.04.02

Arrrgh! Tech talk! Head hurt..brain all go bad. Right now im just working on character ideas. I know nothing about programming. NOTHING!!
So the first step is seeing if I can master 3dmax.
But if you're willing/able to do programmming.... maybe we should take this to creation. A Barb ninja/pirate game... hmmm.

19:37 / 24.04.02

I'm not the most experienced programmer in the world, but I'd be willing to give it a shot.

19:38 / 24.04.02

Getting back to the original subject I'd llike to remind everybody just how cool pirates are.

Pirates are exceedingly cool and are the life of any party.

and ninja's can always be thwarted by playing "Kung-fu fighting". No ninja can resist dancing to its melodical call.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

22:36 / 24.04.02

Okay you stupid lame suck loser IDIOTS, here it is for you:

Ninjas can become TOTALLY invisible by becoming One With The Night. They use a combination of shadows, totally sweet Ninja clothes, and their stealthy-as-fuck Ninja powers.

Pirates you can see, hear and smellcoming a mile off, so you would have ample time to hide your booze and then you and your lady could wail on guitars so shedloads of awsomely pumped Ninjas would jump out and fuck up the pirates beyond the reach of quantums and shit.

Ninjas always wear rocking good black threads.

Pirates wear big idiot floppy blouses, idiot stripey MC Hammer trousers tucked into their boots, and really idiot pirate hats.

Ninjas can totally FLY.

Pirates can get totally drunk on 0.5 of a small cup of weak grog. That's why many pirates have huge beards: to soak up the grog when they fake being awsome booze kings.

Lastly: There could never be a vampire ninja pirate because even if there was it would obviously go Ninja, THEN pirate, THEN vampire. But your scenario is ridiculous anyway because

FACT 1) pirates are too super-weak to become Ninjas EVER in like a gajillion years.

FACT 2) A ninja would totally kill one lame whiny vampire without even needing to flip out much to do it! Are you idiots on GLUE?!

The vampire would be all like, "Oh no, loads of Ninja stars (Ninja weapons) have all stuck in me from like nowhere and my eternal life of darkness is over and shitloads of blood is fucking up my shirt, which I hate even more than dying because I am totally vain," and then it would die.

Really badly.

23:02 / 24.04.02

You're almost right about the beards. But they're really to hold an extra reserve of grog, for consumption anytime.

And that's the kicker. Why pirates kick so much ninja ass.

Pirates can become Instantly Drunk.

If a ninja wanted to become instantly drunk he'd have to do something lame like roll a yellow 8-sided die, with a modifier for how quickly he could float, I mean (ahem) fly to the nearest boozer, and even then he'd have to have a copy of Oriental Adventures around to make sure he didn't screw up the modifier. Pirates don't have to do any of that.

Instantly Drunk.

23:07 / 24.04.02

...meanwhile...

the samurai brewed tea.

wembley can change in 28 days

23:36 / 24.04.02

Anyone care to theorize on the Dread Pirate Roberts, who was indeed a pirate, but dressed like a ninja?

Less searchable M0rd4nt

23:37 / 24.04.02

Ohh, lovely. No, no sugar for me, ta. Do you have lemon? You do? Mmmm. Lovely. Now, where were we?

Ah yes:

Less searchable M0rd4nt

23:43 / 24.04.02

What kind of a pathetic power is Instanly Drunk? Shah! No wonder pirates never had a proper expansion kit.

Anyhow, even if a Ninja had to do all that shit he'd *still* be down the pub in time to kill 1093 pirates before last orders, plus beat absolutely everyone left in the pub at table football before totally cutting all their heads off. Except maybe one potential Ninja and a couple of totally hot babes.

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