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The official Ninja homepage! "These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet."

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23:55 / 24.04.02

What the fuck is going on in here? I think I missed something crucial.

00:00 / 25.04.02

What? The whole pirate ninja thing?

Check out this. to find out about the pirate thing

Then check out this thread to find out about the pirate-ninja thing.

They both kind of go together.

06:56 / 25.04.02

Ninjas have the Wu Tang Clan.
Pirates have the Insane Clown Posse...

Less searchable M0rd4nt

08:56 / 25.04.02

Ninjas v pirates did not originate on Barbelith. It's been going on much longer.

Check the link on page 1 of this thread for Ninja Facts and stuff explaining why pirates are so weak.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

09:03 / 25.04.02

Ninjas vs pirates is, like, THE primal conflict. Except it isn't, cos pirates are so obviously way cooler that I don't know why these dorky-ass ninjas even bother playing half the time.

And when was the last time you got any decent ninja-ed software?

Krister Kjellin

09:46 / 25.04.02

Ninjas are heroes in a half shell! They're the world's most fierce 'n' fighting teens!

The Return Of Rothkoid

10:14 / 25.04.02

And they hung out with Vanilla Ice. And ate pizza. How much of a supreme fucking fighting machine can they be when they live exclusively on goddamned Pizza-Hut?

And they're turtles. Fuck's sake. Knock them down! Let's see the stealthiness work when they're on their shells, being spun around by pirates. Who are laughing, and toasting each other with grog. In gold cups that they stole from the ninjas houses because they were too busy attempting to fart around instead of kicking ass.

Another thing. Ain't gonna see no pirate taking lessons from a fucking rat, let me tell you. A big-ass whale, or a guy that's just a stump on the poop-deck, but never a goddamned rodent. Ninjas take training from rats who think that wearing a happy coat makes you a 900th-level master - ergo, ninjas are easily-sucked-in dumbasses. Pirates are not.

And word to Trijhaos; ninjas just take advantage of natural lighting. Moving in shadow? Fuck's sake - it only makes sense for a secret assassin to try and stay out of, say, the middle of a courtyard, doesn't it? If you follow that logic, I'm an unstoppable fighting machine because I stay out of the sun. Fuck's sake.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

10:24 / 25.04.02

TMNT are not true Ninjas, duh. Because Ninjas are MAMMALS- it says so right on the official website!

And Ninjas are soooooo sweet, they could be One With The Night on the surface of the Sun!

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

10:27 / 25.04.02

On the COVER of the Sun, more like. Looking lame.

Whereas pirates'd be on, I dunno, "What Rocks Hardest Monthly (incorporating Really Cool Stuff)", like, every fucking month. And more, cos they're just totally so much more awesome than pooey ninjas. Who suck. (Did I mention that?)

Krister Kjellin

11:56 / 25.04.02

TMNT are too true ninjas! They're just like ordinary ninjas, only coolers because they have shells!

Ordinary, common, run-of-the-mill ninjas are stealthy in black. Yeah, right, like, that's sooo difficult, and cool... Not!

TMNT, on the other hand, are so stealthy they're invisible, while being green! And somewhat shiny.

See if you can spot the difference in pure stealth difficulty!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are so dangerous, that had to change their names to Hero Turtles for a while, just not to scare children and their parents.

12:14 / 25.04.02

What's this talk I hear about pirates being cooler "because they have ships"?. Fools! Ninjas don't need no friggin' ships 'cos they can walk on water, scientific fact!!
What's this talk about getting drunk being cooler?? If you mean "getting too drunk to notice that your head has been single-handedly chopped off and sewed inside your bowels", then I guess you're right. But ninjas - ninjas get high on decapitating people, how sweet is that??
I concede, however, that pirates get all the chicks. But they do that by means of kidnapping and raping!!! That's awful!! Ninjas, on the other hand, are acknowledged lady-killers!! And man-killers, dog-killers, cat-killers, do you see a pattern here?? Do you see a fucking pattern here????

Gawd, how I wish a was a ninja, so I could fly to wherever you are, chop your head off and end this futile discussion...

The Return Of Rothkoid

12:42 / 25.04.02

Yeah? Well you'll find that pirates are so dedicated to the cause that they amuptate their own limbs, so that they could use the severed appendages to bludgeon dumb-ass ninjas with! WHILE smoking a cheroot, drinking all the rum in your house, and charming the rest of your family. Before killing them.

And "ships"? They're galleons. Pirates don't need them to float on water (they're often called "old salts" because they are as one with the sea, like the salt in it!) but in order to carry around the big-ass collections of swag that they accrue. It's not a transport thing, fools.

Krister Kjellin

13:05 / 25.04.02

If pirates were more like turtles they could just float on their shells.

Once again proving the superiority of Turtle Power!

Yay!

The Return Of Rothkoid

13:32 / 25.04.02

Yeah, but they're one with the sea. So, no shells needed. Pirates are buoyant. Ninjas aren't. They'd sink. And they don't look as rugged when wet as pirates do. Hmph.

13:40 / 25.04.02

Yeah. Pirates are seeeeexxxxxy . Arrrrrr. Hic.
So there.

13:51 / 25.04.02

It's a difficult decision.
I mean, I asked a local 8-year-old, and he was unable to decide.
They both appear to be cool.

I mean there's the whole "angry loner" thing with our dark friends, like so:

And, well, there's the whole "Bond's in trouble!"

"...So let's dismantle SPECTRE!" thing:

But I think it maybe all comes down to three magic words:

"Who's with me?"

Well?
How're you supposed to choose?

14:02 / 25.04.02

simple, grant: Ninjas have an ancient secret art called Ninjitsu which is like, totally cool. No one knows what it's about and yet you can impress all the chicks just saying your neighbor practices it.
Pirates? if they ever had a millenar secret art, it would have to be called Piratitsu - now how fuckin pathetic is that??
I rest my case.

Whoooiaaaaaa!!!!!!

14:18 / 25.04.02

Errol Flynn was never a ninja, but 'The Crimson Pirate' rocks like a weebil. Q.E.D.

The Return Of Rothkoid

14:56 / 25.04.02

That Ninja's at the beach. He's just trying to become a pirate by hanging around their locales.

15:02 / 25.04.02

Who says ninja can't be sexy?
Has no one ever played Soul Caliber just to see Taki fly all over the place?
There is this as well:
http://www.ninja4hire.com/

15:06 / 25.04.02

and we all know that red is the perfect colour to wear to sneak around at the beach. So either he's not sneaking around or he's a moron. I think its the second option. Either that or he's wearing red to hide all the blood that he's going to loose when he gets his ass kicked by pirates.
Pirates tend to kick ass

15:19 / 25.04.02

He's pretending to be a crab, you morons. It took me some time to realize that it was a totally awesome ninja, I have to say. And he's not trying to hang out with the locales. He's waiting the right second to flip out and start killing like if there's no tomorrow!

(Ok, ok, so I didn't pick exactly the brighter bulb in the box, ok? So fucking what? This guy was a former pirate trying to impress the ninjas, you know, and all the ninjas make fun of him and send him in stupid missions disguised as a crab. His name used to be Black Beard Kidd, or something to that effect).

15:22 / 25.04.02

Disturbing images from the "real ultimate power" site's "ninja sightings" pages:

(this image file is called "the ninja is always watching")

15:25 / 25.04.02

And let's not even get into this:
propaganda flash film about how ninjas can beat up pirates, as if.

15:29 / 25.04.02

Look, the real reason pirates are cooler than ninjas is because of one simple fact: pirates don't discriminate. To be a ninja, you have to be able to do backflips and all that. Which means you have to be in shape, and it helps if you're kind of short. You also have to be able to wield a weapon and move silently. Well screw all that, you can be a pirate if you're blind, deaf, quadrapalegic. So you're a bit hefty, we'll stick you in the kitchen and make you the cook. You can't find, but you can read a map like nobody's business, well thats easy, you'll be our navigator.

See? Ninjas would never let a hefty man into the ranks, but pirates will.

15:32 / 25.04.02

Well screw all that, you can be a pirate if you're blind, deaf, quadrapalegic.

I concede. You're right about that. And "Piratitsu" is kinda cool actually.

15:43 / 25.04.02

This is a picture of Henry Lewis offering a lock of his hair to the devil after his mainmast got blasted all to hell:

Pirates getting some booty (like all the time):

Red crab ninja, eating hot sand after sneaking around pirate campsite:

And the last thing I think most ninjas ever see:

These are from this totally sweet page

Less searchable M0rd4nt

16:32 / 25.04.02

Look, the real reason pirates are cooler than ninjas is because of one simple fact: pirates don't discriminate. To be a ninja, you have to be able to do backflips and all that.

You're forgetting two vital FACTS:

1) Ninjas have Real Ultimate Power!

When someone becomes a Ninja, Real Ultimate Power totally fixes stuff like being quadraplegic. A blind Ninja would have no problems because the Real Ultimate Power would make all their other senses so awsome, they could see with their nose-hairs.

2) Ninjas FLY!

So heftiness is totally irrelevant. A hefty guy could totally be a Ninja and go out and have an awesome life instead of being stuck in a pirate kitchen making weevilburgers.

Also, pirates totally discriminate against women. The only way that babes could be pirates is if they pretend to be men pirates. Whereas Ninjas are all like "Oh, so you're a babe? That's cool, you can be a Ninja Babe." Ninjas are totally cool about babes having Real Ultimate Power.

16:36 / 25.04.02

Mordant has a point, Trijhaos. Stop whining and START FLIPPING!!

16:39 / 25.04.02

Anne Bonney, Mary Read, Grace O'Malley, Alvilda, Charlotte de Berry. What do all and many more have in common? They were all historical female pirates!

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

16:46 / 25.04.02

simple, grant: Ninjas have an ancient secret art called Ninjitsu which is like, totally cool. No one knows what it's about and yet you can impress all the chicks just saying your neighbor practices it.
Pirates? if they ever had a millenar secret art, it would have to be called Piratitsu - now how fuckin pathetic is that??

Secret art my ass. I was watching Ultimate Fighting III and a guy from Oklahoma who was a Ninjitsu master got his ass beaten like a bad habit by a french guy. I kid you not. True, the french guy was into thai kickboxing, but the fact remains that a ninja got his head knocked bloody by a frenchman. Definately not sweet.

Hell, Pirates already have their own martial art. It's called "whipping ass all the time and not thinking twice about it".

17:04 / 25.04.02

Wake up and smell the 'chi, Trijhaos, as you can see in that pic high above, ninjas are so fucking awesome they can wail even an electric bass!!!. How sweet is that??

17:12 / 25.04.02

Wow! Too bad a Samurai was the first one to play a guitar. To reference your picture above, its too bad the pirate stole the ninja's little footies. The ninja looks quite goofy barefoot.

I will never give up the fight! Pirates Ho!

Krister Kjellin

18:23 / 25.04.02

Well, sorry, that picture of Captain Blood won me over. Pirates are way cooler than ninjas, if said pirate is also Errol.

So there!

The man would be cooler in a half shell though...

Flynn in a half shell!

I think I'll make that my new favourite general exclamation.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

19:39 / 25.04.02

Anne Bonney, Mary Read, Grace O'Malley, Alvilda, Charlotte de Berry. What do all and many more have in common?

Passing as blokes?

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