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The World Cup: J'accuse!

 
  

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ONLY NICE THINGS
07:41 / 23.06.06
Just so we're absolutely clear, here - does anyone actually like Phil Collins - apart from "Coming in the Air", which forms a beautiful diptych with Mike and the Mechanics' "Silent Running" - both exploring themes of alienation, love, separation and being in space? Actually, now that I think of it, the trinity is completed by Julian Hayward's theme music to Star Cops.

Anyway, all that apart, it turns out that England fans are behaving conspicuously well in Germany, which is a bit of a shock - although it does presumably mean that the hardcore nutters have been successfully kept in Britain and as such will kick off here instead - maybe that's why violence broke out around the big screens.

"It Won't Be Easy". That was its title.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
08:38 / 23.06.06
Surely that was Justin Hayward.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
09:04 / 23.06.06
Strong truth.

Like the ripple on the water
Sends a message to the shore
So I know forever after
I will miss you more and more

It won't be easy
It won't be easy without you
It won't be easy
Now, now, now

Shine a light into the darkness
Find an answer every day
How I wish that you were with me
Now I know that come what may

It won't be easy
It won't be easy without you
It won't be easy
Now, now, now

Reach across the stars
Let them know you're with me
Reach across the stars
Send out the word
Let them know what can be
Send out the word
I'll remember you

In the shelter of the moonlight
In the shadow of the sun
In the silence that's eternal
Days are passing one by one

It won't be easy
It won't be easy without you
It won't be easy
Now, now, now


I think the whole thing starts off badly. After all, what messages does the ripple on the water send to the shore? "Hello, I'm a ripple"? "Sandi Thom is, even as we speak, writing a song about how nice it was when I was caused by a lovely rowing boat rather than a nuclear-powered submarine?" What?
 
 
Haus Of Pain
09:28 / 23.06.06
Chriiiiiiiiiiiiiist!

I couldn't believe it last night. I was walking home across the Heath and this little boy of about 5 kicked a ball to me & ran over saying "I'm Ronaldo, I bet I'm the best footballer you've seen?". Well I nearly lost it on the spot. Little bastard. I said to him "what did you say? Did you just say that you liked football? Are you some sort of lager drinking, Sun reading, wife beater?". "No" he replied. "Well that's not what it looks like from here" I shouted. Then I pushed him over and burst his football with the sword of a small orc figurine that was in my pocket. "VICTORY" I shouted as I laughed at him.
Unfortunately for me a Swan had been watching the whole affair and proceeded to bog flush me in a nearby pond. Unsuprisingly he turned out to be another bastard World Cup Football fan.
Couldn't believe it, I was actually starting to enjoy the matches but small minded idiots like that kid
& that damned thug swan have really ruined the whole experince for me.

God I fucking HATE football.
 
 
Sauron
09:41 / 23.06.06
The main reason I hate the world cup is all the people on tele eulogising Germany and the Germans.

Don't they know it's a Nazi shit hole? This propaganda is getting out of hand.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
09:47 / 23.06.06
A little slow to the party, but at least reliable.
 
 
Haus Of Pain
09:50 / 23.06.06
Well if there's any football crap in my part bag I'm gonna flip. Unless it's a sticker of Ferdinand, he's a dream boat.
 
 
Mistoffelees
13:46 / 23.06.06
*bristles his [cough]Charlie Chaplin[uncough] mustache at sauron angrily*
 
 
sleazenation
15:20 / 23.06.06
Those football fans, eh? Such an oppressed minority.

Their one true love of the beatiful game is such an outlawed pursuit, you barely hear a whisper of it in newspapers, TV and in the streets.

And it's terrible what they do to football fans, all those people who don't like football.

Verily they are put in extermination camps, tattooed with indelible ink and forced to work or are sent into the gas chambers.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
15:25 / 23.06.06
Because of course, as we all know, it's the people who DON'T like football who ARE IN FACT put in extermination camps, tattooed with indelible ink and forced to work or are sent into the gas chambers. And they never complain about it either! Instead they put a brave face on it and pretend it was just a few flags and banners here and there and the media making a fuss about something silly like they always do. Such stoicism!
 
 
Triplets
15:36 / 23.06.06
But they're both blowhards eh, readers?
 
 
Haus Of Pain
15:40 / 23.06.06
J'accuse!
 
 
Alex's Grandma
15:57 / 23.06.06
Bit disappointed by England's off-pitch performance this year - yes, the property damage is appalling, and yes, it must be miserable if you're unfortunate enough to be anywhere near it, but watching Tony Blair having to apologise for the behaviour of some of England's more enthusiastic supporters, who are 'not representative of their country' and are 'spoiling it for everyone' is always a lot of fun - in the absence of an apology for say the war in Iraq, it would be good to watch him eat crow about this at least. As it though, the only England fans who seem to be behaving badly this year are The Wives.

So come on you grass roots supporters, where's your bulldog spirit? God knows, you can't be short of a beer or two out there ...
 
 
Haus Of Pain
16:04 / 23.06.06
Well unfortunately I can't afford to go abroad to smash stuff up so I'm just gonna go out later and smash up a kebab shop with some sick and one of those giant gladiator hands with my friends from GAME.

Comon you slaaaaaaags...vindaloo la la la aaaaaggghhh la la caaaaaaaaaant etc.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
16:18 / 23.06.06
Sorry you have to put up with crap like Sauron's post upthread, Mistoffelees. He clearly has no qualms about making stupid and offensive generalisations about an entire nation.
 
 
Haus Of Pain
16:23 / 23.06.06
Fishing rod anyone?
 
 
sleazenation
16:29 / 23.06.06
Because of course, as we all know, it's the people who DON'T like football who ARE IN FACT put in extermination camps, tattooed with indelible ink and forced to work or are sent into the gas chambers

And there is no hyperbole whatsoever in the claims of some football fans that those who are not enjoying the all encompassing grasp of the world's favourite game (tm) are equating footballers to nazis...
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
17:04 / 23.06.06
I hope the Strawman team get their asses totally kicked.

Incidentally, in terms of the "off-pitch" stuff, many, many years ago Yeovil Town (where I lived) played Arsenal in Yeovil (not sure if that's home, away or Neighbours).

Yeovil lost the match. But won the fight afterwards. And this was the eighties, when "the 'Snal" were legendary for their fans' violence.

This is one of the many reasons I no longer live there. (A very unfortunate part of my brane still burns with pride, though).
 
 
sleazenation
17:13 / 23.06.06
And they never complain about it either! Instead they put a brave face on it and pretend it was just a few flags and banners here and there and the media making a fuss about something silly like they always do. Such stoicism!

Yes, far be it from anyone who is not totally gripped by football to dare venture any opinion on the level to which it has enveloped almost every aspect of the public sphere.

It is all just a few flags and banners here and there and the media making a fuss about something silly like they always do. Pay no attention to anything in the media, and don't complain about them. Most particularly don't complain in a thread devoted to doing just that.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
17:14 / 23.06.06
Sauron, what the fuck?
 
 
Mourne Kransky
17:16 / 23.06.06
You have a hooligan hypothalamus, Stoatie? Unlucky.
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
17:32 / 23.06.06
Sauron; I can't think of a smooth way to do this, so just SHUT THE FUCK UP, okay?

I'm suppose it's probably a joke, it's probably a hilareeous satire etc etc fishcakes, but it's also dumb and fucking offensive.

(This is where I find out that you're half German, so it's all okay, isn't it? *growl*)
 
 
Triplets
17:38 / 23.06.06
Some of my best friends are half-Nazi!
 
 
sleazenation
17:38 / 23.06.06
I'm hoping it was in someway related to Fly's posts, but could well be wrong.
 
 
sleazenation
17:41 / 23.06.06
I'll attempt to clarify that. I am hoping that Sauron's posts were an attempt to invoke satire in a similar fashion to Fly's... But like I said, I could be wrong...
 
 
Mistoffelees
18:13 / 23.06.06
Sorry you have to put up with crap like Sauron's post upthread, Mistoffelees. He clearly has no qualms about making stupid and offensive generalisations about an entire nation.

Bah, I´m not offended.

Sauron´s humour can be a bit forced as we know from his stump funkin´ thread.
 
 
Lama glama
18:30 / 23.06.06
Avoiding this is a lot more difficult than just ignoring flags and patchwork spheres. In my work-place matches are screened daily (and no, I don't work in a pub) so there's no way of avoiding the noise of a football match. I can not watch it, sure, but the din of crowd/commentator bullshit is enough to make me contemplate becoming intimate with those nice packets of stanley knife blades we sell.

I can only survive this summer job every year, because I can listen to the radio, but alas, this year it's replaced with generic crowd noise that brings out my clown tears.
 
 
Lama glama
18:34 / 23.06.06
 
 
Mourne Kransky
18:39 / 23.06.06
Whoa boy! You can't post clown pictures without due warning! You have bruised my psyche, you beast!

Clowns are verree scaree.
 
 
Lama glama
21:24 / 23.06.06
Only happy clowns are scary. Murderous, laughing fiends of the cirque de mal. Sad clowns are defeated individuals, our companions in loathing of the world cup.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
21:41 / 23.06.06
Now you mention it, he does look like he's thinking That Jules Rimet was a knob...
 
 
Ganesh
22:46 / 23.06.06
The main reason I hate the world cup is all the people on tele eulogising Germany and the Germans.

Don't they know it's a Nazi shit hole? This propaganda is getting out of hand.


This wackaday crapulence is getting out of hand. I'm not sure what you're trying to do here, Sauron, but it looks like a big stinky turd.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
23:41 / 23.06.06
Sauron, mate, this thread is about incoherent rage to do with the tournament, specifically - I'd like it to be held in Hell next time, too, but you can't really hold the people of Germany responsible for their government's decision to cuddle up to the sort of corporate fuckwad who bankrolls this parade of essentially bourgeois, shit, and rancidly unentertaining material in the first place.

Two games, I've watched so far. Two full games. I tried to get through them by pretending that the players on screen were just ants, that I could crush if I wanted, but I made a category error - It was me what was the ant, I realised, it was me, all the time.

I had to face up to the bad fact (and I've genuinely, hand on heart, got no idea who he is, though I do try to keep up,) that Stephen Gerrard's life is going to be more significant that not just my life, but everyone else that I know's life, also.

It's silly to complain - all lives deserve to end in obscurity, of course, but, far as I can gather, that guy is a crop-haired ghastly robot who, in earlier times, would have been put in the front-line in the trenches, or the crusades, as an up-for-it bloke, and no one would have especially minded if the worst had happened.
 
 
Harrison Ford, in a battle suit, wheels for feet, knives and guns
00:25 / 24.06.06
Is no one else entertaining that Sauron 'might' be having a dig at the tabloid attitude that 'some' footie fans adopt when faced with competing with germany. He doesn't strike me thus far as being what I would consider to be a small minded idiot so I asume he's ironically taken the piss out of that ridiculous commonly adopted attitude. I may be wrong but hopefully not.
Any digs to that ridiculous attitude are welcomed in my book.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
01:09 / 24.06.06
The idea that Sauron managed that kind of sustained process of ratiocination is not supported by events, Harrison. He and Pato are hopping onto a gag originally made about comic book readers about two years ago, and not doing so very eptly. As I say, late to the party, but reliable.
 
  

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