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The World Cup: J'accuse!

  
  

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pear
05:35 / 12.06.06
It's a Millwall smile now is it?

That's how the corporatisation of football is going I suppose, In the Good Old Days it used to be a Chelsea smile, Abrahmovich must have paid someone off to switch the name...

I must say, I really do sympathise with teh haterz. Whilst I love football, and will watch anything footballish any other time, I'm sick of the World cup just one Engerland match in. I'd like it to all be over so I can return to my low level worrying about Millwall's worrying attempts to play football in peace and quiet.
 
 
uncle retrospective
13:45 / 12.06.06
I just got given out to by my boss for not watching the football in work!
Gordon Bennet!
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
23:11 / 13.06.06
OK. now the online retailer mentioned by myself above has sent me an email starting with "Free evening delivery for as long as England remain in the World Cup!"

What the gadzswookersz? Why not "Free evening delivery for as long as the sun shines!" or even "Free evening delivery for as long as the sea is blue!"

What if I didn't support England (I don't. I support no-one)? Would I be impressed by this if I was, say, a fervent Ireland or Belgium fan? No, I suspect not, and I wouldn't buy your nationalistic-tainted products now even if you gave me a substantial discount for the duration of, say, Sven-Goran Erikson's remaining tenure as the subject of tabloid interest or Sir Ian Blair's continuing role as the commissioner of the Metropolitan Police either.

Ahhhhhhhhghhhhhhh!!!
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
23:53 / 13.06.06
Of course, "Free Delivery for as long as Grace remains in the Big Brother house" would be a bit rubbish too, unless you were planning on ordering in the next 48 hours.

Text Grace to 84444, kids. You know it makes sense.
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
00:02 / 14.06.06
I will text nowt to no-one. Sorry.

Another one, again from an online electronics retainler - the subject this time is: "Pick up an amazing bargain every day during the World Cup with our 90 minute deals".

I'd hate BB as much, by the way. Thankfully I can't get Channel 4 for obscure TV aerial reasons right now.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
09:12 / 14.06.06
FUCK the World Cup.

Just fuck it. Fuck it. I never want to hear about it, ever again. It makes me wish I was born in some as yet undiscovered tribe in the Amazon. I wouldn't have antibiotics or central heating, but at least I wouldn't have to put up with the fucking football.

A friend's sister has just had to move the date of her birthday dinner "because of the football". Her fucking BIRTHDAY, for Christ's sake!!!
 
 
Dead Megatron
19:08 / 14.06.06
It makes me wish I was born in some as yet undiscovered tribe in the Amazon. I wouldn't have antibiotics or central heating, but at least I wouldn't have to put up with the fucking football.

That's not really true, y'know? Chances are, there would be an improvised football field somewhere nearby, with little native kids playing the game with some old ragged ball and bare feet. The Amazon is mostly still in Brazil, after all.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
19:12 / 14.06.06
Why isn't it over yet? It's been going on for months.
 
 
Paolo
20:13 / 14.06.06
Feels like years
 
 
Lama glama
20:32 / 14.06.06
Why isn't it over yet? It's been going on for months.

Can't the teams just agree that they're all having a jolly good time, playing nice and fairly and just go home? How much are the television rights to screen the world cup? If I own them by the time it comes around again, I'll make sure that it's mysteriously absent from our screens.

Oooh, it could be a Barbe-project. We could pool all our spare change together and see what we get.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
21:21 / 15.06.06
Strangely, shitloads of people are off work sick tonight. Which means that not only am I pissed off at being confronted with the fucking football everywhere I turn (especially at work, what with it being all over the papers), the rest of us have to do the work of the people who actually like the fucking thing.
 
 
Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!
22:02 / 15.06.06


HI DERE FROM DA SPIDER MAN
 
 
sleazenation
22:07 / 15.06.06
Na, he's the elongated man...
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
22:09 / 15.06.06
FUCK.
OFF.
 
 
Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!
22:10 / 15.06.06
I like to imagine he carries on scuttling around in that position.
 
 
Lama glama
22:13 / 15.06.06
He must be able to retract his genitals up into himself to keep them from being squished by his alarming body gurns.

Like a ninja.

I'd ask who he was, but that would involve me feigning interest.
 
 
astrojax69
22:15 / 15.06.06
o, uncle r,

I just got given out to by my boss for not watching the football in work!
Gordon Bennet!

that's gotta be one of the funniest posts ever!
 
 
Panic
23:19 / 15.06.06
Seriously. This has been bugging me all week.

Why don't they just use their hands?
 
 
astrojax69
00:50 / 16.06.06
don't panic, they do!

they grab jerseys, they gesticulate towards the referee imploring him to show a colourful card, they wave them about in futility when their mates have the ball and they want to shoot... hands everywhere!
 
 
Alex's Grandma
02:23 / 16.06.06
Their hands are what they use for hiding their faces in after they have screwed up a goal in a crucial penalty shoot-out, and, as a consequence, a nation's hopes and dreams.

On current form, I'm guessing you'll be able to see Roo, Becks, or one of England's other big beasts do this in the semi-finals. Possibly even the quarters, if the draw's against them.

And it will be very, very sad.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
07:51 / 16.06.06
Was Wayne Rooney grown in a lab somewhere? Cloned from root vegetables? I could understand the bit about watching fit men run up and down a lot and kiss each when they score but Rooney's the troll under a bridge too far.

Went by a gay bar the other afternoon and my eye caught the huge sign reassuring their clientele that there would be footie on their big screen tv. FFS! I felt like handing my Sissy Boy Club membership badge back in right there and then.
 
 
Lama glama
20:57 / 16.06.06
I felt like handing my Sissy Boy Club membership badge back in right there and then.

It's non-refundable, so you may as well hang onto it for the discounts and cut price cinema tickets.

They've set up a television for customers to watch this at work. What normally happens is that the rest of the counter staff swan off to watch it, leaving me to deal with all of their customers and work. They seem to get away with it with the higher-ups for some unfathomable reason. It'd be great to bring a DVD player to work and stick on some Doctor Who just to see how long I could get away with it.
 
 
Lama glama
20:59 / 16.06.06
Just the first line is supposed to be in bold. Mes excuses.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
23:02 / 19.06.06
Even badgerdom has been infected by footballosis. As if.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
01:31 / 20.06.06
It would be good to shoot Roo, wouldn't it?

So much so that I have a 'erect-ion'
 
 
Haus Of Pain
10:05 / 20.06.06
People who like football SHOULD be killed. Including me.

Revenge of the Nerds!
 
 
Paolo
10:14 / 20.06.06
I am waiting for the civil war that will start should the final episode of Doctor Who be postponed due to a match going into extra time and everyone away from home finding they have a video recording of the game.

We can hold a time travellers convention in the Albert hall and when all the travellers from the future arrive we can nick their time machines and erase football from history replacing it with something more wholesome like beach volleyball

sigh. back to reality...
 
 
Haus Of Pain
10:16 / 20.06.06
Oh sorry i would have Doctor Who fans killed aswell.
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
10:45 / 20.06.06
Them's fighting words!
 
 
Haus Of Pain
11:17 / 20.06.06
Flailing fists at dawn!;-0
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
11:33 / 20.06.06
It would be good to shoot Roo, wouldn't it?

I think you could take him in a hand-to-hand fight, Grandma, despite your age. That's something I'm sure we'd all like to see.
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
12:12 / 20.06.06
It would be good to shoot Roo, wouldn't it?

What, shoot Roo? The dog from The Last Polar Bears? What's she done to deserve that fate?

Oh, I see. A footballer. Well, I'd imagine shooting would be too good for him then. Why not let the hacksters of the tabloid press have their own vengeful way with him (I assume that's what they do to athletes they dislike still, isn't it?) if he deserves a good old flesh-tearing. Far more brutal.
 
 
Haus Of Pain
13:02 / 20.06.06
Five Live - Equador v Germany on now (2pm gmt). Gett of yr big hairy pairs, and tune in. It's OK, you might not get picked last this time, Pfft huh gawd I hate sports wish my mum would write me a note.

Sorry bringing my offline problems online!
 
 
Alex's Grandma
13:27 / 20.06.06
I agree that I could probably have Rooney in a square go, Mr F, in spite of the ravages of time, morphine and gin, but then I'd have to face the wrath of Colleeeeeen.

And I think she'd kill me.
 
 
Haus Of Pain
13:37 / 20.06.06
Rooney is apparantley the result of a one night stand between a potato and a baby. You could probably smack him up with a peeler or a masher if you could be arsed.


1-0 to Germany so far. COME ON YOU PEARS!
 
  

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