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The Little Book Of Barbarian Wisdom

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16:48 / 01.10.05

A MAN SHALL ALSO GIGGLE AT THE MENTION OF JOJOBA, FOR IT MAY REMIND HIM OF WHEN THE GREAT JESTER BILLEE KANALEE WAS STILL FUNNY.

The Return Of Rothkoid

03:46 / 02.10.05

A MAN AWAKES WITH A MEAD-ACHE THAT HAS SET HIM IN A FURIOUS ANGER.

A MAN WILL KILL LOUD NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOURS ANON. WHEN HIS YURT STOPS SPINNING.

pointless & uncalled for

11:41 / 03.10.05

IF A MAN RETURNS FROM DISTANT LANDS BEARING TASTY BISCUITS FOR THE OFFICE, A MAN SHOULD WAIT BUT HALF AN HOUR FOR HIS FELLOW OFFICE BARBARIANS TO SELECT THEIR CRUNCHY PLEASURE AFORE CONSIDERING IT OPEN SEASON UPON THE REMAINING NUGGETS OF WHEATY JOY.

pointless & uncalled for

11:50 / 03.10.05

A MAN MIGHT READ THIS THREAD AND THENCE THEREAFTER MAY EXPERIENCE SOME DIFFICULTY IN NOT BELLOWING "AYE, TRUTH" WHENCE DOST HIS FELLOW OFFICE BARBARIANS SHOULD STATE A REASONABLE FACT DURING THE NORMAL COURSE OF BUSINESS.

A MAN SHALL BE THANKFUL FOR HIS SWIFT REACTIONS LEST HIS ACTIONS RESULT IN A VISIT FROM THE BEARDED BARBARIAN FROM HUMAN RESOURCES.

Mistoffelees

12:20 / 03.10.05

Ask the mighty Thor!

BTW, could we sometimes shout HEAR, HEAR! or RIGHTO!to add some diversity?

All Acting Regiment

12:24 / 03.10.05

HEAR, HEAR! or RIGHTO!to add some diversity!

pointless & uncalled for

12:38 / 03.10.05

AYE LEGBA, GREAT TRUTH

All Acting Regiment

17:33 / 03.10.05

SHOULD A MAN LOSE HIS HORSE OR GET SORE FEET, HE MAY REQUIRE A CARRIAGE FROM HITHER TO THITHER. AT SUCH A TIMES HE MAY GRASP A PASSING BROGUE AND SUNDER THUS:

"CALL ME A TAXI!"

AT WHICH HE SHALL BE TOLD:

"THOU ART A TAXI!"

Mon Oncle Ignatius

21:02 / 03.10.05

ZING BOOM! (A TRUE BARBARIAN HAS NO NEED OF HIGH-HATS OR SIMILAR PUNY CYMBALLRY FOR WHICH TO MAKE A MERE boom-tish! IN RESPONSE TO SUCH NOVEL WITTICISMS)

The Return Of Rothkoid

23:32 / 03.10.05

BUT HAS A MAN NEED FOR TARAN-TARA OR EVEN TA-DAH? FOR IS NOT A MAN WITH VAUDEVILLE SKILLS STILL A MIGHTY WARRIOR, THOUGH CLOSE HE MAY BE TO BRUCE FORSYTHE?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

23:33 / 03.10.05

BEARETH HE THE MARK OF... THE BRUCIE BONUS???

The Return Of Rothkoid

23:44 / 03.10.05

NO, IN TRUTH HE DOES NOT. BUT HE DOES SAY IT IS NICE TO SEE YOU, WARRIOR, AND TO SEE YOU, NICE.

Phex: Dorset Doom

00:22 / 04.10.05

DO YOU NOT MEAN: IT IS NICE TO SEE YOUR ENEMIES BOUGHT BEFORE YOU AND TO HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THEIR WOMEN, TO SEE YOUR ENEMIES BOUGHT BEFORE YOU AND TO HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THEIR WOMEN NICE

The Return Of Rothkoid

00:27 / 04.10.05

AYE, STRONG TRUTH.
*QUAFFS*

*ADJUSTS MANLY HAIRPIECE*

All Acting Regiment

07:45 / 04.10.05

VERILY, I NOW BRING YOU THE HEAD OF A FOUL BEAST THAT I SLEW WITH NAUGHT BUT MY PINKY AND GIGGLES. IT'S NAME?

BIMBLE.

IN THE LAND OF BEASTOVIA, BEASTS ARE RUNNING...FOR THEIR LIVES!

pointless & uncalled for

08:10 / 04.10.05

HEAR, HEAR! or RIGHTO!to add some diversity?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

10:14 / 04.10.05

AH, BUT A MAN MAY RECEIVE NAUGHT FOR A PAIR. NOT IN THIS GAME. IF INDEED TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT ON WHICH A MAN MUST PLAY HIS CARDS RIGHT.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

10:50 / 04.10.05

AND IT IS GOODNIGHT FROM A MAN, AND GOODNIGHT FROM ANOTHER MAN. GOODNIGHT, STRONG, TRUE RONNIE!

■

10:50 / 04.10.05

AYE! AND THE FULSOME ANN-THEA SHALL GIVE US A TWIRL

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

10:53 / 04.10.05

TRULY, BARBARIAN GAME SHOWS ARE THE FUTURE. AND HERE'S WHAT A MAN COULD HAVE WON... THE SPECIAL PRIZE OF BULLY.

Eloi Tsabaoth

14:45 / 11.10.05

SMIRKING MUST BE BANNED FROM ALL PUBS AND RESTAURANTS! A MAN LAUGHS OR DOES NOT LAUGH! A MAN DOES NOT TWIST HIS MOUTH INTO THE CORNER OF HIS FACE AND SLIGHTLY INCLINE HIS HEAD!

22:58 / 11.10.05

A MAN MAY HOIST HIS MEAD-STEIN SKYWARDS AND BELLOW HEARTILY AT THE RETURN OF THE BARBARIAN THREAD. AND A MAN MAY ALSO SLAP OTHER MEN MERRILY ON THE SHOULDER. AND ALSO A MAN MIGHT DRINK MEAD OUT OF ANOTHER MAN'S HELMET IN A CELEBRATORY FASHION. AND NO MAN MIGHT QUESTION THIS. OR MAKE ANY SNIDE INFERENCES, LEST A MAN CLEAVE SUCH A MAN IN TWAIN WITH HIS BATTLING AXE.

toughest, fastest, fatest

23:06 / 11.10.05

A MAN MUST NOT MOCK ANOTHER MANS WIFE, AND YEA THAT MAN MUST NOT DO IT REPEATEDLY IN THE FORM OF SIDESWIPES OR INNUENDO, AND IF THE WRONGED HUSBAND TAKES RIGHTFUL REVENGE VERRILY HE MUST NOT ALSO BE MOCKED IN LIKEWISE FASHION. AND IF SUCH THINGS COMES TO PASS THEN COUNTLESS AND YEA REPEATED REFERENCE TO SUCH FOUL INCIDENCE SHOULD NOT BE MADE ESPECIALLY BY NEWCOMERS WHO DO NOT YET KNOW THE MANNERS OF A BOARD SUCH AS THIS.

Lord Morgue

06:41 / 17.10.05

A MAN MAY LEAVE THE YURT IN A HUFF, AND STAND OUTSIDE YEA, UNTIL HE GETS ALL CHILLY AND ICICLES FORM IN HIS BEARD, AND COME BACK IN AND SIT DOWN, AND LET NO MAN MOCK HIM, OR STEAL HIS SPOT, OR EAT ALL THE MONTE CARLOS, OR, BY CROM, SOMEONE SHALL BE SMITTEN! SMOTE. SMITED. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

SHALL I BE MOTHER?

All Acting Regiment

07:08 / 17.10.05

I BROKE MY FAST THIS MORN UPON MALTED WHEAT SOAKED IN THE MILK OF A HORNÉD FRIESIAN...BUT ONLY AFTER I DID RAIN DOWN SUGAR UPON IT, AS A CHILL MAELSTROM OF ICE-DRAGON'S SEBUM.

UPON THE WHEAT SACK WAS INSCRIBED THE VISAGE OF A GREAT STEPPE-CAT THAT WALKED AS A MAN AND ROLLED HIS R'S, AND MOST LIKELY HIS ARSE TOO, FOR THESE ARE NOT MANLY THINGS.

TONY THE TIGER.

I MARKED HIM ON MY "TO SLAY" LIST.

THUS DONE I HEWED TWAIN SLABS OF PASTRY FILLED WITH THE BLOOD OF MY VANQUISHED FOES WITHIN A FIERY FURNACE, AND LO, AFTER THE *ping* DID MY HANDS GET A NASTY BURN IN THE EATING, THOUGH MIGHTY FINE AND TASTY WERE THOSE SLABS INDEED.

'TWAS A GOOD BREAKFAST. 'TWAS A MAN'S BREAKFAST.

pointless & uncalled for

07:26 / 17.10.05

THUS DONE I HEWED TWAIN SLABS OF PASTRY FILLED WITH THE BLOOD OF MY VANQUISHED FOES WITHIN A FIERY FURNACE, AND LO, AFTER THE *ping* DID MY HANDS GET A NASTY BURN IN THE EATING, THOUGH MIGHTY FINE AND TASTY WERE THOSE SLABS INDEED.

A MAN IS CONFUSED. HAST THOUGH SLAYED THE MIGHTY RASPBERRY IN ORDER TO MAKE THE TARTS OF POP, OR WAST THAT SOME KIND OF SAUSAGE ROLL MADE OF THE BLACK PUDDING

A MAN IS ALSO CONFUSED AT THE NAME OF BLACK PUDDING FOR IT GOES NOT WELL WITH CHOCKY TOPPING.

A MAN SHOULD GET A BALANCED BREAKFAST AND NOT ADD FOES TO THINE LIST OF INTENDED SLAYEES UNTIL AT LEAST MID-MORNING COFFEE LEST A MAN COMMITS INTENTIONS UNTO THE GODS THAT HE MIGHT THINK BETTER OF IN THE CLEAR LIGHT OF CAFFIENE. ALTHOUGH THAT FUCKING HONEY MONSTER HAS GOT IT COMING.

All Acting Regiment

07:29 / 17.10.05

*MARK LAMARR*

SLAIN BEFORE BREKKERS.

SLAIN-TA CLAUSE IS COMING TO TOWN.

BOB-SLA'IN.

THAT LAST ONE I'M ACTUALLY QUITE PROUD OF, IT'S AN OPTIONAL FIGHT IF YOU GET THE WARDSTONE BUT I SLEW THE FUCKER ANYWAY. TRUTH, EH, MORDANT?

Less searchable M0rd4nt

07:31 / 17.10.05

STRONG TRUTH!

Char Aina

14:38 / 29.10.05

LET IT BE KNOWN THAT A MAN MUST CONCERN HIMSELF WITH 'THE GATHERING', IF HE BE THE MANNER OF MAN FOR WHOM THE GYRATION OF THE HIPS IN TIME TO THE STRONG RHYTHMS OF BERSERKERS IN LEATHER AND WAR PAINT ISAPLEASING ACTIVITY.
THIS TRUTH WOULD BE DOUBLY STRONG IF A MAN BE THE MANNER OF MAN WHO WOULD GYRATE THUS IN THE COMPANY OF OTHER SUCH MEN.

A MAN WISHING TO GATHER OTHER MEN TOSUCH A CAUSE WILL BE SAID TO BE A FOOL IF HE DOES NOT ALSO DIRECT SUCH MEN TO THE KNOWLEDGE HE WISHES TO SHARE CLEARLY.

All Acting Regiment

14:28 / 31.10.05

IF A MAN SHOULD WISH TO KNOW ARCANE TRUTHS, HE SHOULD SURF THE GREAT WEB OF INTER. HOWEVER, TO DO THIS WHILST SAILING ON THE CRAFT "INTERNET EXPLORER" IS FOOLHARDY, FOR YEA SHE BE A SHIPPE OF FOOLS, IN FACT SCRATCH THAT, A SHIPPE OF COCK, PRONE TO CRASH AND RUN AGROUND WHEN ASKED TO LOAD A COOKIE ETC.

TRULY, A MAN SHOULD TRAVEL THE INTERNETS IN THE ARMS OF THE LUSTROUS AND MULTI-TABBED FLAME-VIXEN OF MOZILLA.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

08:34 / 02.11.05

DOES A MAN WANT HIS EGGS FRIED OR SCRAMBLED? WHY, FRIED, IF HE BE IN TRUTH A MAN!

Char Aina

08:55 / 02.11.05

IN THE TRUTH OF THE EGG THERE IS A LIE!

THE EGG FOR MEN OF KINGLY CHARACTER IS SURELY THE OMMELETTE.
A MAN'S EGG MAY NOT BE SCRAMBLED, BUT TO ASSUME THAT HE WOULD PREFER IT FRIED IS DEADLY FOLLY.

Char Aina

11:53 / 04.11.05

A MAN FOUND TO BE IN POSESSION OF MAGIC POTION MAY CLAIM THAT HE IS ONLY HOLDING THE VIALS FOR A FRIEND, BUT IT SHALL NOT BE A FIREND WHO MUST EAT THE GOLD TO MAINTAIN THIS ILLUSION.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

11:34 / 11.01.06

WHAT MIGHT BECOME OF A MAN WHO SEATS HIMSELF BESIDE THE TRIBE'S CAMPFIRE, WHEREUPON THEY ARE WELCOMED AND GREETED WITH CONVERSATION*, THEN ONLY TO BECOME FOUL AND EGREGIOUS IN THEIR IMPUDENCE AND WILFUL IN THEIR IGNORANCE? WHAT FATE THEN SHALL BEFALL THEIR IMPRECATIONS AVOWING THE MIGHTINESS OF THEIR WORDS, WHEN THE TALES THEY SPIN ARE DEEMED UNWORTHY AND THEIR DEMEANOR UNCOUTH? WHAT INDEED?

VERILY SUCH A MAN SHALL SUFFER TO BE MOCKED AND SHUNNED, AND SPURNED, YEA EVEN INVOKING THE CHARIVARI BEFORE THE THRONG OF THE GATHERED MASSES UPON HIMSELF. WOULD THEN THE TRIBE CALL FOR THE BANISHMENT OF SUCH A MAN?

*MAYHAP EVEN THE FANCY OF THE FRENCH OR A BLESSED HOBNOB

Quantum

11:47 / 11.01.06

VERILY SHALL THE HORDE CRY OUT FOR EXILE OF THE UNCOUTH ONE, YEA EVEN IF HIS NAME INCLUDETH MANLY CONCEPTS SUCH AS 'HAWK' AND 'BLEED'! FOR A TRUE WARRIOR WILL BE STRONG ENOUGH TO TAKE THE CRITICISM OF THE FOE WITHOUT WEEPING LIKE A MAIDEN AND CALLING NAMES LIKE A PETULANT CHILD.

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