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The Little Book Of Barbarian Wisdom

  
  

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akira
15:36 / 11.01.06
STRONG TRUTH! THESE MEN MAY BE CALLED 'SMALLEST OF THE GIANTS' OR 'TALLEST OF THE DWARVES' BUT NEVER MAN.
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
14:30 / 15.02.06
WE FORGATHER ONCE MORE AT THE FAMILIAR FLICKERING FIRE, FRIENDS. DARKNESS DRAWS CLOSER, AND THE COLD CLINGS TO US LIKE A LEECH.

BUT WHAT IS THIS WE HEAR? 'TIS THE SOUND OF SHUFFLING FEET - AND A VERITABLE HOST OF NEWCOMERS CROWD INTO THE FIRELIGHT! THERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM! STEP FORTH AND BE WELCOME, STRANGERS - THOUGH, DO MY EYES DECEIVE ME? IS THAT THE MIGHTY GYRUS I SEE AMONG YOUR NUMBER?
 
 
A
14:51 / 15.02.06
A MAN MIGHT HEARTILLY CLAP YON NEWCOMERS AROUND THE SHOULDER AND INVITE THEM TO QUAFF MEAD FROM DRINKING VESSELS FASHIONED FROM THE SKULLS OF HIS ENEMIES. NO, A MAN IS ONLY KIDDING, THEY ARE ACTUALLY MADE OF PLASTIC, BUT DON'T THEY LOOK COOL?
 
 
Feverfew
05:55 / 16.02.06
ALTHOUGH YES, A MAN MIGHT SHUFFLE CLOSER TO THE FIRE ON THESE COLDER NIGHTS, O MANGO OF WHISKEY, IS IT THE COLD OR SHEER NERVOUSNESS THAT BE THE CAUSE OF SHUFFLING?

ALSO, ADAM, YEA, THOSE GOBLETS LOOK COOL, BUT HOW MANY GREEN SHIELD STAMPS DID THEY COST? THEY SEEM LIKE TRUE ITEMS OF QUALITY.
 
 
bjacques
06:21 / 16.02.06
A MAN HAS SEEN DRINKING MUGS LIKE THESE TRADED BY THE WARRIORS OF VANAHEIM, IN THEIR MIGHTY BLUE AND YELLOW MARKET HALL A DAY'S WALK FROM THIS VILLAGE. THERE CAN A MAN FIND MANY AN ITEM FOR HIS OWN TENT, AND FOR BUT A FEW GROATS.
 
 
akira
22:22 / 17.02.06
STRONG MAN LISTEN TO LED ZEPPLIN NOW MUST FIND QUEEN OF DREAM! SURELY THERE IS NO GREATER QUEST? BOY PACK MY TENT AND GATHER MY GROATS BRING HITHER MY STEAD THEN YOU ARE FREE! YOU HAVE SERVED ME WELL BOY BUT I MUST JOURNEY ALONE. FERWELL BREATHERIN I WILL BRING BACK EGGZOTIK BUISCUTS! WISH ME LUCK.

TO VALHALAH!
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
22:38 / 17.02.06
CRIKEY. A MAN HAS JUST WASTED AN ENTIRE EVENING PLAYING WORLD OF WARCRAFT. AGAIN. WHERE MAY SUCH A MAN GO TO FIND... A LIFE???
 
 
Olulabelle
22:40 / 17.02.06
MAY A (WO)MAN SUGGEST THAT THESE WORDS OF WISDOM ARE SOMEWHAT WORDY AND RATHER WELL SPELT FOR BARBARIANS OF LIMITED VOCABULARY?
 
 
Loud Detective
22:49 / 17.02.06
A MAN MAY BE GLAD THAT THIS THREAD IS BACK, YEA, AND HE MAY REJOICE AND PARTAKE OF MEAD AND FRENCH FANCIES!
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
23:01 / 17.02.06
A PERSON COULD FIND THE WORDS THEY NEEDED WHEN THE TIME TO TALK IS UPON THEM, SHOULD CROM BUT GUIDE THEM. OUR FOREBEARS SUCH AS CONAN AND THRUD MIGHT HAVE BEEN BUT MERE BARBARIANS, BUT REMEMBER ALSO THAT THEY WERE ALSO KINGS FROM TIME TO TIME!
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
23:03 / 17.02.06
[BELCH]
 
 
Triplets
23:11 / 17.02.06
BE BOP IS ROCK STEADY IN HER WORDS! TRUTH! BY KRANG!
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
23:15 / 17.02.06
STRONG TRUTH! AND MAY THE MIGHTY PAWS OF FENNC PWNSON STRIKE DOWN ANY WHO DENY IT.
 
 
*
23:18 / 17.02.06
THE (WO)MAN MIGHT BE FOUND GUILTY OF PERPETUATING INACCURATE AND OFFENSIVE STEREOTYPES. WHILE IT IS TRUTH THAT A MAN'S CULTURE BIDS HIM SPEAK SIMPLY AND FROM THE HEART, IT IS FOUL LIES THAT A MAN HAS NEVER SEEN A DICTIONARY OR THESAURUS. A MAN GOT A DEGREE IN GREEK LITERATURE WITH AN ANTHROPOLOGY MINOR WHEN A MAN WAS YOUNG. BY CROM.

ARE THE FRENCH FANCIES SUITABLE FOR DIPPING INTO THE DRINK WE QUAFF FROM THE SKULLS OF OUR PLASTICINE ENEMIES, OR IS THIS "NOT DONE?"
 
 
Mourne Kransky
23:43 / 17.02.06
IF A MAN DOTH THIS, THEN IT IS TEH DONE THING. A MAN CARES NOT WHAT OTHER MEN MIGHT DO WITH THEIR FRENCH FANCIES. UNLESS HE IS A FANCY FRENCH MAN. IN WHICH CASE A MAN MIGHT BE NERVOUS ABOUT THE USES TO WHICH HE MAY BE PUT.
 
 
Phex: Dorset Doom
23:56 / 17.02.06
T'IS INDEED GOOD TO SEE THE RETURN OF SO MANY NOBLE WARRIORS TO THE CAMPFIRE! THE STRONGEST AMONG THEM SHALL HAVE FIRST DIBBS ON THE FAMILY CHOICE BISCUITS LEFT OVER FROM CHRISTMAS, THOUGH THE CHOCOLATE BOURBONS ARE THE SOLE RIGHT OF THOSE WHO HAVE PUSHED THE WHEEL OF PAIN AND KNOW WHAT IS TRULY BEST IN LIFE
 
 
lekvar
01:23 / 18.02.06
STRONG TRUTH!
 
 
Alex's Grandma
01:29 / 18.02.06
I am staring at 'odin,' blankly, watching Sky TV.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
07:12 / 18.02.06
THE ELDER, WISE WOMEN OF THE TRIBE SHOULD NOT NECESSARILY STOP AT THE OFF LICENSE AS THEY RAPE AND PILLAGE THEIR WAY BACK HOME FROM THE PUB.
 
 
alas
09:20 / 18.02.06
ARE WE NOT MEN? D-E-V-O MONKEY MEN ALL IN BUSINESS SUIT
TEACHERS AND CRITICS ALL DANCE THE POOT
 
 
grant
00:44 / 19.02.06
YEA! WE MUST REPEAT!
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
00:53 / 19.02.06
A MAN MIGHT BE LESS BOTHERED BY EFETE VOCABULARY, MISSPELLINGS NOTWITHSTANDING, IF NOT FOR THE UNBARBARIC SENTIMENTS EXPRESSED. WHAT CAN A MAN DO WITH THESE JAPES? CAN HE LAY WITH THEM? CAN HE EAT THEM? CAN HE USE THEM TO SLAY THE CITY-DWELLERS AND THEIR ILK? NO. LEAVE THEM TO THE OUTLANDERS.

A MAN FEELS HE MUST APOLOGIZE. IN HIS YOUTH, A MAN MAY FEEL THAT HIS STOMACH IS AKIN TO AN IRON CAULDRON, BUT AS THE SEASONS OF A MAN'S LIFE PROGRESS, HE FINDS THAT TO EAT LARGE QUANTITIES OF MEAT AND CHEESE IS TO INVITE THE SPIRIT BADWIND UP HIS ARSE. IT BECOMES UNCOMFORTABLE TO SIT BY THE FIRE AND A MAN WILL GO LIE DOWN NOW BY THE HORSES.
 
 
BlueMeanie
11:18 / 19.02.06
SHOULD A MAN TAKE TO WATCHING A REVENGE THRILLER WITH VIN DIESEL, HE WOULD BE A FOOL NOT TO EXPECT TO BE A BIT DISAPPOINTED BY A CLICHED PLOT. ALTHOUGH HE MAY THINK TO HIMSELF "BY THOR, I'M PLEASANTLY SURPRISED BY WHAT TURNED OUT TO BE SOME GOOD CINEMATOGRAPHY."
 
 
The Falcon
11:25 / 19.02.06
A MAN DOES NOT USE FIRST PERSON.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
11:33 / 19.02.06
A MAN SHOULD NOT USE THE FIRST PERSON OF WHAT SERIES? AND TO WHAT PURPOSE? WHAT COULD DUNCAN MEAN? HE SPEAKS MUCH STRONG TRUTH, BUT A MAN IS CONFUSED BY HIS LACONIC MIEN. FOR IF A MAN USED THE FIRST PERSON HE SLEW WHILST RAIDING A SHEPHERD'S VILLAGE FOR PURPOSES OF RAPINE, THAT WOULD SEEM ALL RIGHT TO A MAN...

A MAN CANNOT EXPECT TO BE DISAPPOINTED! AYE, FOR THIS IS A CONTRADICTION IN TERMS.
 
 
The Falcon
12:00 / 19.02.06
GRAMMATICALLY-SPEAKING, BY FENRIS. OTHERWISE, A MAN QUITE AGREES, ESPECIALLY ABOUT RAPINE.
 
 
P. Horus Rhacoid
20:33 / 20.02.06
THOUGH AN EXAMINATION OF AND RUMINATION UPON THE NOBLE DEEDS OF THE MIGHTY SIR LANCELOS BE A WORTHY ENDEAVOR FOR A MAN, A MAN WOULD BE WISE, IN THE COURSE OF HIS SCHOLARLY PURSUIT, TO AVOID DISTRACTIONS SUCH AS RAPINE AND GLORIOUS BATTLE. FOR NOBLE, MIGHTY, AND, INDEED, ASSERTIVE OF A MAN'S MASCULINITY THOUGH THOSE MAY BE, IF A MAN DOES NOT CEASE PROCRASTINATING HE WILL INEVITABLY BE FORCED TO THROW HIMSELF IGNOBLY AT THE MERCY OF SHE WHO PROFESSES, REQUESTING THE BOON OF AN EXTENSION UNTIL MIDNIGHT TONIGHT.
 
 
Dead Megatron
20:44 / 20.02.06
A MAN IS WHAT A MAN DOES. TRUTH! (

drinks ale, stands up, and pisses on the bonfire, hands-off)
 
 
Olulabelle
21:17 / 20.02.06
A MAN SHOULD NOT PISS ON THE BONFIRE AS IT IS LIKELY TO CONTAIN CHOICE CUTS OF DEER MEAT, ROASTED FOR HOURS TO PERFECT TENDERNESS A LA RAY MEARS.
 
 
A
03:02 / 23.02.06
"A MAN DOES NOT USE FIRST PERSON."

AYE! TRUTH! FOR IF A MAN DOTH SPEAK IN THE THIRD PERSON, THEN SURELY THAT MAN HATH THE STRENGTH OF THREE MEN.
 
 
Phex: Dorset Doom
03:24 / 23.02.06
AYE, AND THE AMULET OF ZARAG-THUR GIVES THE WEARER THE POWER TO ADRESS HIS TRIBE IN THE SIXTH PERSON- TALKING ABOUT THEMSELVES AS IF THEY WERE TELLING AN OVERHEARD STORY OF THEMSELVES SPEAKING. ALSO IT GRANTS 6+ FIRE RESISTANCE.
 
 
Quantum
14:17 / 15.05.06
CAN CONAN (PRAISE HIS MIGHTY THEWS!!) BE SUMMONED IN THE MANNER THE HIGH SERPENT-KINGS OF THRONDOR BRING FORTH THEIR BATTLE-AVATARS? WOULD USE OF FOUL WIZARDRIES ANGER THE KING? INDEED, WOULD SUCH IMPERTINENCE GO UNPUNISHED? A BARBARIAN CAN ENVISAGE IT NOW,
"WHAT MANNER OF FOUL SORCERY IS THIS!? YOU DO NOT SUMMON CONAN, CONAN SUMMONS YOU! TASTE AXE, UPSTART!!!"
 
 
Feverfew
20:05 / 30.12.06
A MAN MAY THINK THAT IT IS A GOOD IDEA TO RESURRECT THIS THREAD FOR ONE FINAL JOLLY BEFORE THE YEAR OF KROM, 2007.

WHOSOEVER OUT THERE HAS FINAL WORDS OF WISDOM GLEANED FROM THE GLISTENING ENTRAILS OF 2006, AND ADVICE FOR NEXT YEAR?
 
 
grant
21:27 / 30.12.06
A MAN MAY DRINK WINE WITH SMALL BUBBLES AND A MAN MAY THEN SING LOUD SONGS, MIGHT HE NOT?
 
 
alas
22:15 / 30.12.06
AYE, GRANT, A MAN MAY DRINK THAT DRINK WITH SMALL BUBBLES AND SING LOUD AULD SONGS; ONLY WEAKER MEN NEED TO SAY, "OF COURSE, NORMALLY A MAN DRINKS ONLY STRONG ALE BUT IT IS NEW YEAR'S..." AND THEN FEEL VAGUELY EMBARRASSED IF THEY ARE ACTUALLY PERFECTLY ON PITCH. I SAY: BE STRONG! DRINK BUBBLY! SING LOUD! NO APOLOGIES!
 
  

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