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The Little Book Of Barbarian Wisdom

 
  

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Lord Morgue
09:23 / 22.09.05
WELL MIGHT A MAN SAY "DON'T HAVE A COW, MAN", BUT IF A MAN'S NAME HAPPENS TO BE DAR, ALSO CALLED BEASTMASTER, AND IS ACCOMPANIED BY AN EAGLE, A TIGER PAINTED BLACK, AND TWO STOATS OR FERRETS OR SOMETHING, MAY NOT A COW BE SAID TO HAVE HAD A MAN?

THIS IS THE RIDDLE OF COW.

HOB NOB?
 
 
Mourne Kransky
10:24 / 22.09.05
A MAN MAY SEEM TO BE SCRATCHING HIS ARSE AND WHILING AWAY THE MORNING SURFING THE WEB BUT, BY THE DAINTILY ORNAMENTED TESTES OF GYLES BRANDRETH, WITH THE FLICK OF A MIGHTY FINGER AND A SUDDEN BROW FURROW, HE MAY APPEAR TO BE STUDIOUSLY RESEARCHING APPROPRIATE MATERIALS IF HIS BOSS WALKETH IN.
 
 
Lord Morgue
10:29 / 22.09.05
TRUTH!
 
 
William Sack
10:36 / 22.09.05
TRUTH INDEED XOC. IF A MAN'S BOSS IS DISPLEASED WITH A MAN'S WORK A MAN WILL NEVER BE PROMOTED FROM THE WHEEL OF PAIN TO THE GLADIATOR PIT
 
 
grant
13:10 / 22.09.05
TRUTH OF THE FURROWED BROW!
 
 
Saint Keggers
16:14 / 22.09.05
IF A MAN'S LAST NAME BE 'THE UNTRUSTWORTHY' DO NOT LET HIM WALK BEHIND YOU.
 
 
■
16:57 / 22.09.05
TRUTH! YET SHOULD A MAN ARM HIM WITH A RUBBER CHICKEN AND TELL HIM IT IS A MAGICAL BACKSTABBING DAGGER THEN A MAN MAY GET MIGHTY LAUGHS.
 
 
Katherine
17:32 / 22.09.05
Honestly men......

(Walks off in search of the men who lost their way to the all night garage)

They probably wouldn't ask for directions *humph*
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
22:36 / 22.09.05
ALL SILENT NOW. A MAN WOULD SPEAK.

WHAT OF A MAN WHO GOES TO GET BISCUITS FOR ANOTHER MAN? THIS MAN MAY BE KIND OR HE MAY BE WEAK. BUT WHAT OF THE MAN WHO ASKS ANOTHER MAN TO GET HIM BISCUITS? THIS MAN MUST BE A DULLARD, OR VERY STRONG. FOR THE GETTING OF BISCUITS IS NO SMALL THING, AND A MAN WHO GOES TOO OFTEN TO GET THE BISCUITS WILL BE CALLED "BISCUIT GETTER". WHO AMONG US WOULD NOT SEND "BISCUIT GETTER" TO GET THE BISCUITS? A MAN SO CALLED MUST SEEK VENGEANCE, AND FROM WHOM MUST HE GET IT? FROM THE ONE WHO GOT BISCUITS FROM HIM.

SO A MAN WHO WILL NOT GET BISCUITS FOR HIMSELF MUST BE READY TO TURN HIS HAND AGAINST EVERY MAN AMONG US. A MAN LIKE THAT MUST RULE, OR BE SENT AWAY.

A MAN DOES NOT SEEK TO RULE. A MAN SHOULD GET HIS OWN BISCUITS.

NOW. IF A MAN SEEKS AN ALL-NIGHT STORE AND GETS LOST, NO OTHER MAN SHOULD GO AFTER HIM, FOR IF ALL THE MEN GO, WHO WILL GUARD THE HORSES?
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
22:41 / 22.09.05
TRUTH INDEED. UNLESS A MAN HAVE NEED OF NO HORSE... BUT WHAT MAN WOULD THAT BE? NO MAN. NO MAN OF EARTH BORN, SAYS I. A MAN IN NEED OF NO HORSE IS A MAN WORTHY OF NO TRUST.

SO YES, BASICALLY. WHAT HE SAID.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
23:15 / 22.09.05
A MAN MAY LAUGH IN HIS CRIB WHILE PLAYING WITH HIS ERECT PENIS

What? I'm just sayin'...
 
 
Lord Morgue
08:39 / 23.09.05
AND IS THAT NOT WHEN A MAN IS MOST IN NEED OF HIS HORSE?


I SAY THEE NEIGH!
 
 
Mourne Kransky
08:47 / 23.09.05
A MAN MAY LAUGH HIMSELF HOARSE, WITHOUT OR WITHOUT HORSE, WHEN PLAYING WITH ANOTHER MAN'S PENIS. ESPECIALLY IF THE OTHER PENIS IS FUNNY LOOKING. OR ATTACHED TO MARTIN FREEMAN.
 
 
Rage
08:51 / 23.09.05
A MAN IS NOT A MAN WHEN A MAN IS AN ANIMAL OR A MACHINE. A NON-MAN MUST KILL THE FOREST TO GROW A SPECIAL TREE. YOUR TREE IS NEVER SPECIAL, MAN. THAT SHIT IS GAY.
 
 
Triplets
11:27 / 23.09.05
IF A MAN IS A MACHINE, THEN A MAN HAS POWER EXTREME!
 
 
Mourne Kransky
11:33 / 23.09.05
A MAN MAY YET BE MORE THAN A MAN:
 
 
Axolotl
11:34 / 23.09.05
BAH, I SAY A MAN WHOSE STRENGTH COMES FROM MACHINES HAS NOT TRUE STRENGTH.
 
 
■
11:37 / 23.09.05
A MAN MAY WANDER FAR AND WIDE SEARCHING FOR THE MEANING OF CRYPTIC PIFFLE ABOUT TREES, YET HE MAY ALSO DURING SUCH WANDERINGS SEE OR KNOW OF A MAN AND ANOTHER MAN IN HAPPY CONGRESS. THAT IS GAY. OR POSSIBLY BI. TRUTH!
 
 
Triplets
11:40 / 23.09.05
A MAN HATES BISEXUALS!
 
 
Mourne Kransky
12:01 / 23.09.05
A MAN LOVES BISEXUALS AS LONG AS THEY ARE MAN BISEXUALS AND JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET DOWN TO THE SHAGGING PART.

A MAN IS STRONG. TWO MEN CONJOINED ARE STRONGER YET (LIKE HIGH QUALITY TOILET PAPER WITH SEVERAL LAYERS FOR STRENGTH).
 
 
Triplets
12:07 / 23.09.05
TRUTH!
 
 
grant
12:59 / 23.09.05
WHAT OF A MAN WHO GOES TO GET BISCUITS FOR ANOTHER MAN? THIS MAN MAY BE KIND OR HE MAY BE WEAK.

A MAN SAYS NO! THE MAN WHO VENTURES OUT INTO THE WORLD, AWAY FROM THE SAFETY OF CAMP AND COMPANIONS AND INTO ALL SORTS OF WEATHER FOR THE GOOD OF THE CLAN, THIS IS A MAN INDEED, BRAVE AND TRUE! THOUGH THIS MAN BE KIND, HE IS ALSO MANLY IN COURAGE!
 
 
Lord Morgue
13:01 / 23.09.05
NO MAN MAY DENY THAT SVEN-OLE THORSEN IS A MAN AMONG MEN. NO MAN MAY DENY THAT SVEN OLE-THORSEN IS A MAN AMONG MEN, WHO ARE YET AMONG SOME OTHER MEN. AND YET DID NOT SVEN-OLE THORSEN WEAR POWER ARMOR IN CAPTAIN POWER AND THE SOLDIERS OF THE FUTURE? LET US NOT QUESTION THE MANLYNESS OF A MAN WHO WEARS POWER ARMOUR, FOR IS NOT A MAN, POWER ARMOUR OR NO, MORE MANLY THAN ANY PITIFUL BIO-DREAD? AND WHO AMONG US IS MORE MANLY THAN SVEN-OLE THORSEN? I MEAN, FIFTEEN SCHWARTZENEGGER FILMS. FUCK.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
13:31 / 23.09.05
BUT WHAT OF THE MAN WHO SITS MEEKLY BY THE FIRE WAITING OR TASTY SNACKS TO BE BROUGHT TO HIM? IS THIS MAN WEAK, OR MERELY POSSESSED OF A BASE CUNNING?
 
 
grant
13:40 / 23.09.05
DOES THIS MAN PRESERVE THE PLACE OF THE BISCUIT-GETTER? OR DOES HE TAKE THAT WHICH IS NOT HIS WHILE THE HEROIC ONE IS AWAY?
 
 
Quantum
13:44 / 23.09.05
THE MAN WHO LAZES BY THE FIRE IS BASE, MERELY A BUMLORD IN THE MAKING. THE MAN WHO GETS THE BISCUITS FOR OTHER MEN IS THE MENS BITCH, OR POSSIBLY GIMP, AND DESERVES THE MOCKERY OF MANLY MEN. UNLESS THE BISCUITS ARE FOR ME, IN WHICH CASE THANKS VERY MUCH.
 
 
Axolotl
13:59 / 23.09.05
GRANT SPEAKS TRUTH. THE BISCUIT-GETTER IS A STRONG MAN WORTHY OF THE PRAISE OF MEN. HOWEVER ALL SHOULD TAKE THEIR TURN IN THE GETTING OF THE BISCUITS. UNLESS YOU MADE THE TEA, OR SOMETHING.
 
 
MJ-12
14:14 / 23.09.05
YES, THE BISCUIT-GETTER HAS FACED HARDSHIP FOR THE GOOD OF HIS FELLOWS, AND SHOULD BE GIVEN HONOR, BUT LIKE ALL THE GOODS OF MAN, IS THE PLACE AT THE FIRE NOT ONLY FOR HE WHO CAN TAKE AND HOLD IT BY THE STRENGTH OF HIS ARM AND THE EDGE OF HIS STEEL? THIS IS A PREY THAT DOUBLES BACK UPON IT'S TRACK.
 
 
grant
14:15 / 23.09.05
STRONG TRUTH.

A MAN WILL HAVE OATCAKES AND A NICE CHEESE, IF YOU'RE GOING.
 
 
William Sack
14:20 / 23.09.05
HOW'S A MAN DOING FOR SKINS? BETTER GET SOME RIZLA TOO
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
01:56 / 25.09.05
IF A MAN MADE THE TEA THE LAST TIME, AND THE TIME BEFORE THAT, SHOULD A MAN BE THE ONE TO MAKE THE TEA THIS ROUND? ESPECIALLY WHEN A MAN DIDN'T EVEN WANT A CUP.
 
 
All Acting Regiment
02:52 / 25.09.05
A MAN MIGHT BE CONFUSED. CAN A MAN STICK IT TO THE MAN WITHOUT GETTING ALL OF A TUSSLE WITH THE GLUE?
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
19:10 / 25.09.05
LOOK, A MAN IS DEFINATELY NOT MAKING THE KETTLE DRINKS THIS TIME BECAUSE A MAN HAS STILL GOT HALF A BEER AND DOESN'T WANT A CUP OF TEA!
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
19:18 / 25.09.05
AYE, TRUTH. A MAN WITH BEER HAS NO DUTY OF KETTLE DRINK FORGING.
 
 
w1rebaby
19:25 / 25.09.05
TRULY, ONCE A MAN HAS BATTLED TO THE STORE OF CORNER AND RETURNED WITH THE PRIZE OF BISCUITS, AND PERHAPS WHEAT CRUNCHIES, HE IS THEN IN POSSESSION OF STRONG MAGIC AND CAN CHOOSE HIS PLACE AT THE TABLE, AT LEAST UNTIL HE HAS DISTRIBUTED HIS BOOTY.

WOE BETIDE THE ONE WHO CHOOSES TO CHALLENGE THE BISCUIT-HOLDER AND DENY HIM OF HIS RIGHTFUL PLACE - FOR SUCH A MAN WILL BE DENIED THE HOB-NOB, AND RIGHTFULLY SO
 
  

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