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The Little Book Of Barbarian Wisdom

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Less searchable M0rd4nt

02:46 / 21.01.07

THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD BREAK THAT WALL WHICH MEN CALL "FORTH," AND DEEM THEMSELVES BOTH CUNNING AND BOLD FOR SO DOING. YET WHAT IS MORE WORTHY, MY BRETHEREN? THIS FABLED YET ULTIMATELY TRIVIAL BREAKING OF THE FOURTH WALL, OR THAT SOLEMN OBSERVANCE KNOWN AMONGST THE MIGHTY AS "KAYFABE?"

19:02 / 23.01.07

AYE, FORTH TIS A DIFFICULT WALL TO BREAK, BUT NOT NEARLY SO DIFFICULT AS KOBOL OR ADA.

UNLESS YOU MEANST "FOURTH", IN WHICH CASE A MAN MUST HITCH HIS STEED TO A VERY MODERN POST.

19:16 / 23.01.07

A MAN MIGHT DEIGN TO BREAK KAYFABE, SAY, AND INSTRUCTETH THE EARL OF HEBNER TO RING THE BELL OF THE DAMNED, MAYHAP, AND SCREWETH THE JOB OF MONTREAL, YET SUCH A MAN WOULD BE WELL ADVISED NEVER TO EXPECT A CHEER OF GOODWILL IN THE LANDS NORTH OF THE BORDER.

BUT INDEED IF A MAN BREAKETH KAYFABE, AND WRITETH TWO AUTOBIOGRAPHIES AND A NOVEL PRAISED BY TIBOR FISCHER, THEN YEA, SUCH A MAN MIGHT EXPECT GOODWILL UNIVERSAL, EVEN IN THE EASTERN LANDS WHERE THE STYLE OF THE KING'S ROAD IS FAVOURED.

HRRRM.

19:39 / 23.01.07

SOME MAY SAY THAT THE MAN, ABOVE, HAST OFFERED UNTO THE MODERATORS THE FINEST OF MOD REQUESTS. BY SURTUR'S BEARD!

09:37 / 24.01.07

AS ANY MAN KNOWS, THE BEST OF ALL HTML TAGS IS B. SUCH A MODERATION REQUEST WOULD MAKE BOTH YOU MEN TRULY GREAT WARRIORS, INSTEAD OF READING LIKE UNTO THE HIGH PITCHED VALKYRIES ETC. ETC.

20:56 / 02.02.07

IT IS RIGHT THAT A MAN, YEA, EVEN A MAN WHO HAS SEEN MANY SUMMERS, AND WHOSE WORDS NO LONGER MATCH THE SPEED OF HIS HANDS, MIGHT STILL PROVE HIMSELF A WARRIOR BY STEPPING NAKED BUT FOR A CLOTH TO GIRTH HIS MANHOOD INTO THE SOMBRE RING OF COMBAT AND EXCHANGE BLOWS AS UNTO FALLING ROCKS WITH ANOTHER MAN OF MUCH MIGHT.

AND AYE,WERE HE TO RISE UP TO THE CHALLENGE OF HIS RIVALS TRULY IT COULD BE SAID HE HAD THE EYE OF A TIGER.

IF SUCH A MAN WERE TO HUM A LITTLE UNDER HIS BREATH BETWEEN BLOWS THIS WOULD BE NO DISHONOUR.

DA DA, DADADA, DADADA DADADA; DA DA, DADADA, DADADA DADADA; DA DADA DA DADADADA, DUM DUM!

22:34 / 06.02.07

THERE ARE TIMES WHEN A MAN MAY WALK A LONELY PATH, HARKING ONLY TO HIMSELF AND THE MEMORIES OF THE FINAL CURSES OF MANY LONG-SLAIN ENEMIES. IT IS IN SUCH TIMES WHERE A MAN MUST BE STRONG, AND CLEAVE EVEN MORE STRONGLY TO HIS OWN TRUTH! EVEN MORE THAN IN THOSE OTHER TIMES WHEN A MAN MUST BE STRONG - WHICH IS AT ALL OTHER TIMES - I MEAN.

I SAY: BEWARE SUCH A SAVAGE MAN! FOR LONG NEGLECTED HE MAY HAVE FORGOTTEN THE WORDS OF OTHER MEN, AND WILL MUTTER WITH THE TONGUE OF BEASTS AND STRIKE OUT AT THOSE FOOLS WHO WOULD APPROACH HIM UNCAREFULLY. IT IS SOMETIMES SAID THAT SUCH A MAN MIGHT BE PLACATED BY THE HUMBLE OFFERINGS OF STRONG ALE AND SUCH COMELY WOMEN THAT ABIDE IN THE VILLAGES OF WEAKER MEN, BUT THE TRUTH OF THIS I DO NOT KNOW.

21:06 / 09.02.07

A MAN IS PROUD TO SAY HE SHOWED THIS THREAD TO ONE OF HIS BARBARIAN BRETHREN, AND SOON THEREAFTER THEY WERE BOTH FORCED BY SOCIAL CONVICTION TO SIT IN AN ALE-HOUSE OF ILL-REPUTE WHILST MANY LESSER MEN WATCHED A THING CALLED "SUPER-BOWL", WHEREIN MANY MEN, LARGE AND STRONG, YET DRESSED IN CLOTHING SO TIGHT IT WOULD CHAFFE EVEN THE DANCERS AT THAG'S ALE-O-RAMA, CHASE THE CARCASS OF AN ANIMAL LONG DEAD AND GRAB EACH OTHER'S BUTTOCKS.

ANYWAY, THE ONLY THING THAT SAVED US THAT DAY FROM CERTAIN MADNESS WAS THAT WHENEVER THE LESSER MEN WOULD LEAP FROM THEIR CHAIRS AND SCREAM INCANTATIONS TOWARDS THIS "SUPER-BOWL", WE WOULD INSTEAD POUND OUR MUGS 'PON THE TABLE AND YELL "STRONG TRUTH!", AND "SACK ROME!" AND THE LIKE, AND GIGGLE, BUT IN A MANLY WAY. AND LO, THUS DIDST THE BARBARIAN THREAD SAVE YET ANOTHER STULTIFYING SOCIAL GATHERING FROM OUR WRATH.

AND AFTER, WE HAD DELICIOUS TEA.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

11:50 / 13.02.07

STAY THINE HAND!

FOR IT IS THE TIME OF THE HAMMER, AND THOU CANST TOUCH THIS NOT.

A MAN MAY BE IN THINE STRONGHOLD, SLAYING THY KINSMEN.

12:01 / 13.02.07

A MAN MAY HAVE A HEART CONDITION, YEA, AND IF THOU SHOULDST ATTACK A MAN THERE WILL BE MURDER; THINE! FOR THE CONDITION OF A MAN'S HEART IS HARD LIKE STONE! A MAN'S WIFE IS HAVING A BABY!

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

12:28 / 13.02.07

VERILY, A MAN MAY WONDER IF IT IS CAN BE HUGS TIEM NOW PLS.

12:36 / 13.02.07

A MAN MAY BE COMFORTED TO KNOW IT IS BEAR HUG TIME! *MASSIVE SPINE CRACKING IRON THEWED HUGGLES*

jentacular dreams

13:39 / 13.02.07

A MAN MAY SPEAK A TALE THAT FILLS HIM WITH MIRTH. BUT A MAN MUST MEMBER THAT HIS MIRTH IS NOT ALL MEN'S MIRTH.

ALSO, IF A MAN'S TALE IS PROVOCATIVE OR UNFIT FOR THE EARS OF OTHERS, A MAN MAY WISH TO KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT, FOR THE WRATH OF OTHER MEN IS QUICKLY RAISED, AND CONTINUES FOR MANY PAGES.

17:17 / 13.02.07

A MAN MAY BE A MAN OF HIS TIME, YEA, AND MAY MAKE USE OF SUCH LIBERTIES AS WERE AFFORDED TO THE LAWMEN OF HIS ERA, EVEN TO THE EXTENT OF BEATING HIS CAPTIVES AND NOT RECORDING THEIR HOWLS OF LAMENTATION ON SUCH WIZARDING DEVICES AS MAY CAPTURE TRUE SPEECH.

YET MAY SUCH A MAN NOT STILL HAVE HONOUR? CAN HE NOT BE EXCUSED BECAUSE HE ABIDES BY THE LAW OF THE JUNGLE? DOES HE NOT CLEAVE HIS TEAM UNTO HIM WITH BONDS OF STEEL, WILLING TO DEFEND THEM AGAINST ALL ONSLAUGHT, BE IT FROM WORTHY FOE OR CORRUPTED RULER?

IS IT A MAN'S FAULT THAT HIS NATURE AS AN OUTMODED ARCHETYPE LEADS HIM TO KEEP HIS AFFECTION FOR HIS TEMPORALLY-CHALLENGED DEPUTY PURELY IN THE TEXT THAT IS SUB, SURFACING ONLY IN SARCASTIC PET NAMES AND THE OCCASIONAL SLAMMING AGAINST THE GREAT IRON CABINETS OF FILE?

A MAN IS SADDENED. A MAN WOULD GO TO THE RAILWAY ARMS TO QUAFF DEEPLY AND PONDER WHY SAM NEVER LOOKS AT HIM THE WAY HE LOOKS AT ANNIE.

AND IF ANY AMONG THIS COMPANY WOULD ACCUSE HIM OF BEING A JESSIE, SUCH A MAN WOULD BESTOW UPON HIM A GOOD SHOEING, BY KROM.

17:39 / 13.02.07

TRUTH AND HEARTY LAUGHTER! OUT LOUD! FOR NO MANLY LAUGHTER SHOULD BE KEPT IN THE CHEST AND NOT CAST UPON THE EARS ON MEN!

12:31 / 24.02.07

A MAN MAY REALISE THAT IT IS 75 YEARS SINCE THE DEATH OF THE BARD ROBERT E. HOWARD. IN THE LAND OF THE BRITONS THIS RELEASES HIS WORK, AND HIS CREATION THE MIGHTY CONAN, FROM THE GRASP OF THE EVIL LAWYERS, PLACING THEM IN THE DOMAIN OF THE PUBLIC. AN EVENT THAT A MAN MIGHT THINK WORTHY OF CELEBRATION - BRANDY SNAP ANYONE

Phex: Dorset Doom

13:10 / 24.02.07

A MAN SHALT ALWAYS MARK HIS QUESTIONS WITH THE RUNE OF QUESTIONING!

/me cleaves Axolotl's head in twain.

Phex gains 3776 XP.

Phex has leveled up! Phex is now a level 32 Barbarian.

13:43 / 24.02.07

ARE WE NOT BARBARIANS? WE SHOULD NOT BE BOUND BY THE RULES OF PROPER PUNCTUATION OR THE MYSTERIES OF GRAMMAR: THESE THINGS ARE THE MARK OF THOSE MADE WEAK BY CIVILISATION.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

15:10 / 24.02.07

A MAN WHO DIDST NOT PAY PROPER OBSERVANCE TO THE LAWS OF GRAMM-AR AND PUN-KTU-ASHUN COULDST PROPERLY BE SUMMONSED BEFORE THE COURT OF THE MIGHTY LYNN OF TRUSSE. THEREUPON A MAN MIGHT BE BROUGHT LOW AND MADE TO PAY OBEISANCE TO NOT ONLY THE COMPLETION OF A QUESTION IN THE PROPER MANNER, BUT - WERE HE TO BREAK THE RULE OF APOSTRO'PHE - A MAN MIGHT VERILY BE SMITTEN WITH GREAT FORCE UPON THE BONCE WITH A CLAWHAMMER, AND BE MADE AWARE IN ALL PARTICULARS OF THE CORRECT PLACMENT OF SUCH MARKS AMONG THE RUNES OF MEN, HIS EARS RENDERED CRIMSON WITH IMPRECATIONS AND VILE INSULTS THE LIKE OF WHICH A MAN MIGHT NOT EVEN UTTER IN THE COMPANY OF STERN MEN SUCH AS FORGATHER AT THIS CAMPFIRE.

OR SO A MAN HAS HEARD IT SPOKEN

11:02 / 25.03.07

A MAN LIKETH BIG BUTTS, AND HE CANST BUT SPEAK THE TRUTH ON THE MATTER! FORSOOTH, THIS MY BARBARIAN BRETHREN CANNOT DENY! WHEN A COMELY WENCH ENTERS THE TAVERN WITH A TIGHTLY-CINCHED BODICE AND A ROUND THING UPON YOUR HELM, YOU MUST RAISE YOUR SWORD HIGH!

AND APPARENTLY THE SERPENT LORD DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING UNLESS IT INVOLVES BREAD, BUT A MAN UNDERSTANDETH NOT AS WELL THE TRUTH ON THIS MATTER.

19:52 / 25.03.07

A MAN IS GLAD TO SEE THIS THREAD CONTINUING, BUT IS SOMEWHAT PERPLEXED OF THIS DESIROUS TALK OF LARGE WATER RECEPTACLES.

A MAN IS ALSO TIRED, BUT HAPPY, HAVING DRUNK THE MEAD OF PARADISE* LAST NIGHT UNTIL THE WOLF CEASED HIS HOWLING AT THE MOON AND DANCED AROUND THE FIRE JOYOUSLY, ALTHOUGH IN THE STRANGEST OF CIRCUMSTANCES.

*Bottled Fosters. A man did not even know that Fosters was sold in bottles, and the circumstances in which drinking this became a viable option are strange. But a man makes do, obviously.

02:55 / 26.03.07

VEXED IS HE THAT IS PLAGUED BY THE WHIMSY OF THE GODS. A MAN WOULD THROW BACK HIS CLOAK AND ROAR: "ENOUGH OF THIS QUIBBLING WITH NUANCE! THE PARADIGM OF MISFORTUNE FAVOURS THE STEADY AND THE WROTH! COME FORTH AND SHOW THYSELF, IMP, AND THIS MAN SHALL GIVE UNTO THEE A VERITABLE NASTY BURN OF THE TYPE ASSOCIATED WITH GENTLEMEN FROM SHIZOU PROVINCE."

*samples a rather eloquent-looking chocolate truffle with glace cherries and a delightful little vsop cognac. knocks brandy ballon against logs. seem surprised to be holding only stem.*

16:22 / 26.03.07

WHAT? SPEAK UP, MAN!

*

17:00 / 26.03.07

A MAN HAS SUSPICIONS ABOUT WELL-SPOKEN CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES. A MAN WONDERS WHAT FOUL WIZARDRY IS AFOOT. A MAN WONDERS WHAT FOUL FOOT IS A WIZARD'S.

A MAN WONDERS ABOUT THIS MUSHROOM WINE, WHICH TASTETH A LITTLE OFF, ALSO.

Phex: Dorset Doom

17:02 / 26.03.07

COGNAC? CHOCOLATE? SPEECH NOT EMBOLDENED BY THE TONGUE OF A TRUE WARRIOR?
SPEEK! WHICH AMONGST YOU HAST LET AN ELF SIT AT THE FIRE?

17:15 / 26.03.07

ELF-KIND AT THE FIRE? REMOVE THEIR EARS AND WEAR THEM AS AMULETS OF GLORY! THEIR GARB IS FRILLY AND FLIMSY AND PROVIDES NOT THE SUPPORT FOR OUR MANLY BREASTS THAT LEATHER AND SKINS DO.

ALSO, IF A MAN IS TOLD THE IDENTITY OF FOUR OF THE FINAL FIVE CYLONS WHEN HE EXPRESSLY ASKS HIS FRIEND NOT TO TELL HIM, IS THIS MAN ENTITLED TO CRUSH HIS "FRIEND'S" SKULL INTO A FINE PASTE?

17:35 / 26.03.07

A MAN MAY HAVE ALL OF HIS FOES FLEEING HIS APPROACH, AND A MAN MAY GIVE MIGHTY CHASE TO THIS THRONG OF FOES. THIS CHASE MAY BE LONG AND HARD THROUGH MUCH TREACHEROUS TERRAIN, OVER HILLS OF MADDNESS AND THROUGH THE PITS OF SORROW. A MAN MAY CONTINUE THIS CHASE DAY AND NIGHT, DAY AND NIGHT FOR A THOUSAND YEARS. YAY, THE GODS THEMSELVES MAY LOOK UPON HIM WITH ADMIRATION. BUT ALL THIS WILL BE FOR NAUGHT IF HE HATH 'YAKKITY SAX' RUNNING THROUGH HIS HEAD.

17:39 / 26.03.07

CRUSHING THE SKULL IS TOO KIND, IF SUCH A BETRAYAL IS THE REWARD A MAN'S 'FRIEND' SHOULD OFFER TO A MAN'S KINDNESS. A MAN MIGHT CONSIDER TATTOOING 'SPOILER!!' ON THE FOREHEAD OF SUCH A BACKSTABBER TO FOREVERMORE REMIND HIM OF HIS TREACHERY- WITH THE TRADITIONAL TATTOOING INSTRUMENT OF MY PEOPLE:

THAT WILL TEACH THE LITTLE FRACKER.

17:41 / 26.03.07

THIS IS THE TRUTH AND IT IS INDEED STRONG.

20:47 / 26.03.07

A MAN MAY ANSWER ANY QUESTION, AND HE MAY QUESTION ANY ANSWER

09:18 / 28.01.09

AND LO IN THE END TIMES, A MAN MAY FEEL SORROW AND REMEMBER FALLEN COMRADES, AND QUAFF AN ALE IN THEIR HONOUR.

trouble at bill

12:32 / 28.01.09

AND YET JOY TOO A MAN MAY FEEL, FOR ALL WALLS MUST FALL, AND ALL CITIES CRUMBLE, YET ALWAYS WILL THERE BE NEW ADVENTURES IN NEW LANDS!

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

16:18 / 28.01.09

STRONG TRUTH, APPROPRIATE FOR THIS, THE TWILIGHT OF BARBELITH. A MAN MAY KNOW SADNESS AT THE PASSING OF A THREAD SUCH AS THIS.

19:48 / 28.01.09

WHEN THE PEOPLE OF THIS LAND GATHER A THOUSAND YEARS FROM NOW TO TALK OF MIGHTY DEEDS, THIS THING CALLED BARBELITH SHALL SPRING UNBIDDEN TO THEIR LIPS.

YOU STOATIE, AND YOU QUANTUM. KALI HERE AND LORD HAUS. ALL OF US HERE FROM THE HIGHEST TO THE LOWEST SHALL HOLD THEIR HEADS HIGH FOR THAT WHICH WE HAVE WROUGHT!

FROM NOTHING WE CAME. TO NOTHING WE GO. LEAVING TO THE FUTURE THE ONLY THING THAT A WARRIOR TRULY VALUES.
HIS NAME!

Poke it with a stick

20:34 / 28.01.09

A MAN WHO COMES LATE TO THE CAMPFIRE IS A MAN STILL. A MAN IS STILL LATE. BUT STILL, A MAN IS A MAN. FOR A' THAT.

A MAN BRINGS DONUTS.

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