THE LATE SHIFT DEMANDS PLINTHS!!!

20:24 / 17.02.05

I just went to cafe press and they have this app where yo can see what your image will look like on a shirt. It looks sooo planking amazing!

20:27 / 17.02.05

"planking"...I think we should make this another BarbeVocab word, similar to "huggles". Of course, the ninja population will probably protest, but hey, if they're so clever they should come up with their own adjective.

20:28 / 17.02.05

"My wife made me walk the dog. I made her walk the plank. I win!"

20:31 / 17.02.05

Something's just occurred to me... we have a new member... and we haven't asked the all-important question yet.

doozy floop- are you a pirate or a ninja?

20:32 / 17.02.05

Has he been told about the ritualistic asscandling???

20:36 / 17.02.05

Obviously a pirate. Whoever heard of a ninja called ‘doozy floop?’ It's not a very ninja name. It's more a name thats evocative of sea-legs and grog and such things. I'd say.

doozy floop

20:39 / 17.02.05

egad! pirate? ninja? barbelith lore with which I am not familiar...
Is this some sort of psychometric testing??
As I write this I'm wearing a black cat suit and a tri-corner hat. Make of that what you will.

Asscandling??? But I'm a layyydeee, not a cow, I don't understand!

20:39 / 17.02.05

Or the nickname ze got in the dojo for being the most clumsy ninja ever. Not that I'm saying you're clumsy, Doozy Floop, I mean, I don't even know you...I'm just providing a counterpoint to Bedhead's theory. You know, a null hypothesis thing.

...I'll get me coat.

20:47 / 17.02.05

Hey... seeing as how there don't appear to be many ninjas around these parts right now, what say we get doozy drunk and pressgang him before Sally gets here?

Sekhmet

20:52 / 17.02.05

I want to be a pirate too! Can I be a pirate?

(*bounces excitedly*)

Oh, wait... bouncing isn't very piratey.

(*swaggers excitedly*)

Yarrrr!

20:52 / 17.02.05

Now that's a great idea. I'll go and get the rope, funnel and barrel of grog out of the back room, you prepare the form that he has to sign with an unsteady X.

Olulabelle

20:54 / 17.02.05

Say not because in lieu of Sally, I am here. Eating Masala Dal and Naan bread and pondering the complexities of how one assesses new barbelth membership applications.

Also Ninja/Pirate. Doozy Floop knows everything about us whilst we know nothing really of Doozy Floop. This screams Ninja. Welcome to the Ninja fold Doozy.

Also, catsuits. Doozy has one on. Learily I write this, having watched Perry Grayson's programme last night, but catsuit = female. Possibly.

20:55 / 17.02.05

muffled yelps as bag is tied over head one

Greatings from head two of that which you know as the floop.

Grey Area, I salute your keen insight. Sadly the addition of a second head somwhat alters the centre of gravity making even a standard half twist back kick damn near impossible. Much worse however is its effect on the deck of a rolling tall ship. Such were our motivations for our recent move into the relatively balance-free area of lion taming.

20:55 / 17.02.05

It’s true, about the lack of ninjas these days. It’s not so much ‘Pirates vs Ninjas, The Eternal Conflict’ any more, more like the good ship Lateshift might have the occasional ninja or two flitting about onboard. But we can’t quite be sure how many, or even if they’re there, on account of their supreme sneakyness. And the near constant din of our piratey grog-fuelled shenanigans, natch.

20:58 / 17.02.05

So you're not a ninja or a pirate but a lion tamer? Well...let's see now...large mustache, colourful surroundings, unsubtle weaponry...you're obviously a pirate lion tamer. With which I of course mean that you, the tamer, are a pirate. Not the lions. That would just be crazy.

21:00 / 17.02.05

I think the reason he/she knows alot about us and we nothing about him/her isnt because of sneakyness but rather because we pirates tend to talk alot when drunk and we pirates tend to be drunk alot. Also...we tend to forget what was said when we were drunk... its almost reason to make you cry...but the sea is salty enough without our tears adding to its misery.

21:04 / 17.02.05

Aww...that's poetry that is. Who says pirates can't be romantic?

*chugs grog*

Belch...

*hornpipe*

21:04 / 17.02.05

Well when I said lion-tamer I may have overstate the case somewhat. For lion imagine a creature about a quarter of a meter long, dark green in colour, with short, stubby legs and a thick brown shell that covers most of its body.

21:05 / 17.02.05

Ah...ye olde turtle tamer! Indeed this screams of a lifetime on the seas! Pirate Ye must be!

21:07 / 17.02.05

Lord Wotton, something tells me that in order to appreciate the raw power and energy of your "lion tamer" performances, it's neccessary to bring a pack lunch, comfy chair and book.

Olulabelle

21:08 / 17.02.05

Well when I said lion-tamer I may have overstate the case somewhat. For lion imagine a creature about a quarter of a meter long, dark green in colour, with short, stubby legs and a thick brown shell that covers most of its body.

What the fuck is that? That sounds horrible!

Turtles are lovely. That is certainly not a turtle.

21:09 / 17.02.05

Beats bag-ed head one into submission with wooden leg and feeds parrot

OK, you got me. Now buy me a tankard and take a look at this map.

21:10 / 17.02.05

Well what else could it be if not a turtle? A trilobite?

21:11 / 17.02.05

And, Learily I write this, having watched Perry Grayson's programme last night

Um. Leerily, or wearily? Or is that meaning both at once?

21:11 / 17.02.05

Turtles are lovely. That is certainly not a turtle.

Its a sea turtle...definitly not as pretty as your fishtank variety.

21:12 / 17.02.05

That's...that's not a trilobite. Most certainly not. Trilobites didn't have a Knochenkeule on their Schwanzende.

doozy floop

21:13 / 17.02.05

boinks head two into silence with cunning ninja chop

A pirate Wotton may be, but I wanna be a ninja!

21:15 / 17.02.05

Its an Ankylosaurus...and they're all dead. Deader than a RedDwarf episode one crew. (sometimes I like to throw out some geek-talk, just to keep my cred.)

21:19 / 17.02.05

All dead? How do you know that, huh, keggers, huh? Lots of us pirates only sail the seven seas in the hope of one day finding an island that has dinosaurs living on it. It's out there somewhere.

doozy floop

21:20 / 17.02.05

See! Wotton's such a pansy, he can only tame dead things. I on the other hand will resist your kidnap, pressganging and grog to become an almight ninja... (Do I have to wear a bandanna and eat pizza?? Still not sure I've got the hang of this...)

21:22 / 17.02.05

Dont you realize that all the dinosaurs were eaten by King Kong...damn, but you live in a fantasy world!

21:24 / 17.02.05

Dont you realize that all the dinosaurs were eaten by King Kong Yeah right! Next thing you'll try telling me this isn't tinkerbell I've got trapped in this bottle! Honestly, some people...

21:29 / 17.02.05

Turles? Dinosaurs? What is this nonsense? I'll have you know that I have tamed no lesser beast then the incontinent toad of Sidcup. The worlds I walk are so strange that Roger Dean follows me around for inspiration.

21:32 / 17.02.05

Arr, the fabled Isle of the Dinosaurs...
My pappy used to tell o' such a place, way back when I was but a wee pirate... "Stoatie, son" he'd say, for that was my name, "Stoatie" he'd say, cos he knew me, "It be like an Isle. With dinosaurs on it. What the fuck did ye think it was, ye scurvy dog, ye?"