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Kind of a different types of energy question:
At one point was working with a venerable Tai Chi master and got an impression of chi as a warm fluidy stuff. Very passive. I can't push it around the way I'd expected, but instead have to sort of pull it; like making a space for it to flow into. Except at the same time the chi itself is sort of directing my hands (very The Force there.) Working with chi seems very healthy, relaxing, energizing, fixes your bad joints and clears up your athsma, etc. It's also a pain in the ass to work with because I had to spend forever meditating just to be able to feel it at all and ten times as long to be able to move it where I want when I want, which I still mostly can't. It's great if you twisted your ankle and want some help healing but you're not going to blow down a building with it ala dragonball any time soon.
Around the same time I completely on my own found this other stuff (can detail how later). In some ways it seems like the opposite of chi. Very cold and nasty. Touching it is like grabbing a live wire or trying to hold your hand over a candle flame - you instantly jerk back without thinking about it. Trying to get it to go where you want is like wrestling a jet stream or an ocean current. I usually feel like my head's about to pop, start hyperventilating and get an oxygen high, etc. But working with it is amazing. I can instantly supercharge a ritual/sigil, and it seems far more effective (and easy) than cutting myself, mastrubating, etc. (kind of Dark Side of the Force.) It also seems to be very, very bad for me. Like, every time I use it to good effect, I develop a new chronic health problem or renew an old one. Carpal tunnel, bad back, ulcerative colitis flareups, etc.
So, what is that stuff then? Anyone else seen it? Negative chi? Somehow it feels not the opposite of chi but totally different and other. |
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