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Random Q & A Thread - PART 2

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19:56 / 06.08.05

Candles are fairly soft light, but if it's too close, then yeah some minor irritation may be incurred. Why not draw a candle and stare at that, work on thinking about what makes a candle a candle and then on why the drawing is less or more a candle than a real candle.

11:30 / 11.08.05

I have a question about tax. Tangent, who is Australian, says that now I have a job I have to start saving all my receipts for books, software, conference fees, travel, etc, and I can claim all these things back as "expenses" from the tax I pay. (She says she knows this is true because her friend A. used to be able to claim back the price of her shoes when she was employed as a bread carter.) I, who am British, say that I have never heard of such a thing; my tax will all be sorted out between my employers and the tax people, and only self-employed people get to claim anything as "expenses" (from tax, anyway - I might be able to claim "expenses" from the university, but that's a whole separate thing).

Anyone know who's right? Cos, you know, it would be cool to get free books from the Inland Revenue. I could easily spend as much money on books a month as will be deducted from my salary in tax. (Hmm. That can't be right, otherwise surely I would have heard of this phenomenally good scheme. Maybe Tangent meant something else.)

11:38 / 11.08.05

I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure it's only the self employed that get to claim tax back on expenses. I'm assuming that's 'cause businesses don't have to pay VAT. If you're self employed you are a business, therefore you don't pay tax.

I think...

12:20 / 11.08.05

I think it's true in the US but not here, if only we *could* claim expenses from the Inland Rev I'd be laughing.

While I'm here, does anyone know if a mobile phone charger uses power when it's plugged in but not charging a phone? If not, why does it get warm? Am I burning 'leccy by leaving my charger in the wall?

Ex

12:32 / 11.08.05

As far as I'm aware, Boboss is right - the self-employed can fiddle things over here, but the PAYE (which is what you'll be) have to make their own shift. Keep an eye out for departmental special offers instead - free eye tests for computer users, conference fees paid, getting the departmental secretary to illegally photocopy books you have on short loan from the British Library.

Another thing to look out for is that if you've not earned much this year, check in April with the Inland Revenue - your new employer will probably start taxing you way too high (based on the idea that you've been earning a similar amout before arriving). If this is the case, you can get a nice lump sum back in April. I usually rake back about 500 every year from overzealous PAYE.
Your income tax payments are about 200 quid on the first 6500 and then 10% upwards (don't know where the next band starts) - any more than that and you may be being diddled. Forgive me if this is egg-sucking.

12:45 / 11.08.05

Quantum, apparently a charger does use electricity when its plugged into the wall but not the phone. I don't know why it is (like leaving the TV on standby????) but I heard it on some environmental-type programme on the radio. I keep meaning to get one of those solar powered phone chargers....

12:53 / 11.08.05

I was also warned by a firefighter who I used to live with that leaving them plugged in uncharging was a fire risk; he'd actually dealt with fires caused by them.

Was wondering last night; I know polar bears live in the Arctic and Penguins in the Antarctic, but what would happen if you tried introduce each species to the other's area? Is it possible, or do they have the wrong type of fish or something?

(Other than polar bears eating penguins, of course. And not the biscuit kind.)

08:06 / 12.08.05

hmmm I don't know much about polar bears.

hey, you guys know those blood pressure machines they have at longs? so I went to Longs tonight and used the machine and it said my results were "out of range". I know it's quite possible that the machine's just broken, but if it's not, then I'm wondering what range it will measure. I know that my blood pressure isn't unmeasurably high, but it might be unmeasurably low, or my pulse might be unmeasurably high. So....anyone happen to know what range those machines will measure?

08:23 / 12.08.05

Have you checked that you still have a pulse?

08:39 / 12.08.05

Yep, I still have a pulse. It's about 120 beats per minute, which is what it was a few hours ago, too. And I'm chillin', totally chillin'. My pulse is usually below 100 when I'm chillin'. I'd expect a blood pressure machine to be able to handle a pulse reading of 120. So....how low would my bp have to be to not get a reading from a blood pressure machine? I'm trying to google for this and finding nothing. dammit I've got m4d google skillz usually.

09:46 / 12.08.05

Forgive me if this is egg-sucking.

No, not at all - it's a long time since I paid any tax, having been scrounging off the taxpayer rather than feeding the vices of the idle poor for many years. Thanks!

15:03 / 12.08.05

My employers have just announced a new security policy (in the light of the London bombings, natch) by which the rent-a-gonk security staff will conduct random bag searches of employees entering the building.
Does anyone know what the legal position is here? I assume they couldn’t conduct body-cavity searches if they so chose to, but do I have any legal protection from other kinds? Am I in any position to say no?

15:15 / 12.08.05

As far as I know a private security firm has no right to conduct searches, but they can bar you from entering the property without undergoing a search. So basically you can refuse to be searched, but they can then refuse to let you into the office, which presumably won't go down well with your boss.

15:30 / 12.08.05

Could they refuse me entry if I refused to be strip searched? I mean, I assume there is some legal provision to prevent employees' rights in the workplace. Could I be sacked for not agreeing to being searched by the bouncers in epaulettes?

16:54 / 12.08.05

legal provision to prevent employees' rights in the workplace

Nice Freudian slip there Smoothly!

11:44 / 16.08.05

does anyone know how one would go about getting one's medical records from a hospital that closed 8 years ago? thanks

17:49 / 16.08.05

Not sure about the hospital records. That's a puzzler. Maybe you should ask a GP -- just call a public clinic and ask what they'd do.

On Arctic penguins: Is it possible, or do they have the wrong type of fish or something?

Well, they have kind of different weather, too. Antarctica is more extreme and blustery.

Then again, they have penguins in Tierra del Fuego and elsewhere, so maybe they'd do OK given a bit of a chance....

13:08 / 19.08.05

How can I add my hotmail contact list to my MSN windows messanger list?

Not in the Face

13:20 / 19.08.05

getting one's medical records from a hospital that closed 8 years ago? thanks

Presuming you are UK, then the NHS' Information Body recommends recommends your local GP - who should be able to order the records for you or the primary care trust that the hospital was located in.

YOu can find that here http://www.nhs.uk/

Whisky Priestess

15:33 / 19.08.05

Anyone know what meat you are allowed to take into Greece? A friend of a friend who lives there has asked to be brought pork pies and Ginster's pasties.

15:39 / 19.08.05

Well, with those I think you have a very wide interpretation of meat, but since it's EU, I'd be surprised if they were allowed to stop you taking anything in. The worst that can happen is that they throw them away. [Thinks, remembers the poor plane-spotters]. Probably.

Ex

16:08 / 19.08.05

Aaaaargh tax arse:

Your income tax payments are about 200 quid on the first 6500 and then 10% upwards (don't know where the next band starts) - any more than that and you may be being diddled. Forgive me if this is egg-sucking.

Not egg sucking, but totally factually incorrect. My shame drives me to find the proper figures:

0-£4,895: personal allowance - not taxed
(different if you're married, retired, gestalt entity, hive mind or other)

The next £2,090: starting rate band, 10%

The next £30,000ish: basic rate band, 22%

So once you top £6985, it's 22%, not 10%.

Please accept my apologies. If any Barbeloid has in the interrim blown their anticipated earnings on some sweeties, an iPoke or similar, I'm not liable.

16:43 / 19.08.05

Calm down. The original version would have worked out that you owed more tax, so anyone following the advice will be better off under the real system. Anyway, it's nice if people understand this, because it makes it easier to explain that a 50% top tax rate does NOT mean that top tax earners pay 50% of their income to tax - only on that bit which is over the limit. Always bears repeating when a Tory is in the room.

All Acting Regiment

16:59 / 19.08.05

Your "classic" Antarctic penguin likes to live on big chunks of smooth ice surrounded by sea, whereas up north it's more rock/tundra.

That might not neccesarily be too big of a barrier to them, though, and in any case Adele penguins and the other smaller varieties that live in New Zealand and South America could easily settle in.

Except, it's not really a question of environment, more of neighbours: up north, you've got rats, dogs, wolves, bears, wolverines and, of course, people. Penguins = perfect food source for these creatures, and have no natural defenses against them.

They're very well adapted towards hiding from Leopard Seals and Killer Whales in the water (hence the white lower/black upper patterning) and their big groups deter Skua birds from the eggs. Unfortunately they have no fighting/running away skillz as such when on land.

So, there might be some limited success for penguins at the north pole, but the population would be under constant threat from on-land hunting and egg-snatching.

P. Horus Rhacoid

20:17 / 20.08.05

How's the weather likely to be in London in the next couple of months? I'm headed there in a few days, and coming back mid-December. Are there likely to be many of warm, shorts-worthy days in September (should I bother bringing more than one pair of shorts)? How cold does it get in December? Will I need, for instance, a parka of some kind? I'm from the far northeast US of A, for the record, so my tolerance for cold is fairly high, though I'm tall and skinny and have poor circulation, so it's not as high as it could be.

20:28 / 20.08.05

Vecton-

Shorts? Ha! You won't need any shorts in September unless you're particularly hardy. September wear is probably trousers, t-shirt and light jacket/jumper/cardy sort of weather. If you're used to northeastern USA then you should find London very mild. By mid-December you'll need a warmish jacket but nothing arctic or anything.

P. Horus Rhacoid

21:05 / 20.08.05

Loomis- awesome, thanks. That makes my packing way easier, and my suitcase less heavy.

paranoidwriter waves hello

21:48 / 20.08.05

A few months ago, while staring at a worn gravestone, I had an idea for a story and I want to know if it's been done before. i.e. am I unconsciously plagiarising a film / book / etc that I've forgotten?

The basic theory behind the story is that when we die we all go to a kind of airport waiting room, where we wait for our number to be called before going to the next place. However, the rule is that one can't "pass on" until all memory of one's previous existence has (like the name on an old gravestone) been worn from living memory. This means, therefore, that if one's birth-name was (in)famous and is in the history books (etc), one has very little chance of making it to Heaven, Hell, or wherever.

I'm looking forward to maybe writing a short film of this idea, e.g. with the likes of Confucius, Nietzsche, and Hitler arguing in the airport bar, and having a Deli Lama pass straight through to check-out to everyone's amazement, etc. However, as always, there's a nagging voice in a corner of my mind masquerading as my conscience and calling me a "Rip-off!"

So,....help?

00:18 / 21.08.05

Oh, go for it.

I've heard of similar conceits, but not that particular one.

paranoidwriter waves hello

11:10 / 21.08.05

Cheers Grant.

11:38 / 21.08.05

Also, PW, it doesn't matter if the idea has been used (I mean, the taking numbers thing was in Beetlejuice for example) it's how you deal with the idea that matters. I like it, the idea of people obssessed with fame being stuck in purgatory along side a few unfortunate souls who tried to do good, and are remembered for it who deserve to be in heaven or what ever.

I had a similar idea, not entirely the same - two brothers die in a car crash, there is an administrative mix up and one brother dies, but his soul is accidently sent to the other brother's body as the other brother went into a coma, so his soul is trapped in a vegitative state, while the brother who isn't dead, his soul is taken to the after life - when there he has to wait about in heaven's complaints department - which is badly understaffed as no body really needs to complain - and anyway, ends with the brother going back to tidy up some loose ends, and the two brothers dieing but going to heaven.

But, as I said, it's what you do with the idea that makes it yours, not the idea itself...

paranoidwriter waves hello

13:35 / 21.08.05

Thanks BtB.

Oh, and I like your idea. Nice.

10:47 / 23.08.05

What function did (or does) the Scroll Lock key on a keyboard serve? I've been trying to make it change the way my computer behaves every now and then since I started work, and it doesn't seem to do a thing.

12:07 / 23.08.05

Nowt. Unless you use Linux or have a KVM switch. Full history of the sad little orphan key here

20:01 / 23.08.05

Or, it seems, Excel, which I will try tomorrow -cheers Cube!

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