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The miserable thread

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23:05 / 01.08.06

Ugh, that's horrible. I hope is sounds worse than i actually is.

12:07 / 02.08.06

Best wishes to you and family Stoats..

paranoidwriter waves hello

12:56 / 03.08.06

I feel a bit pathetic posting this, in light of Stoat's recent bad news. But I need to clear my chest and whine, and (for many reasons) I'm unable to contact any of my loved ones for a chin-wag. So...

This is the most depressed I've been in ages, and that's saying something. It's bad enough that I've got to wait six weeks to probably find out that I've been refused my application for a normal bank account; but I've just been informed that my Post Office National Savings Account was closed over a year ago (they all were), without any notification letter being sent to me, and this means that I'm going to have to open a new PO account and the cheque I wanted to pay in won't be cleared for three fucking weeks. Worse still, after waiting nearly two weeks to find out, I've also just been told that I've lost out on a copywriting job, so where my next bit of cash is coming from, I can only dream.

Seriously, a life of crime is looking more and more appealing by the second. Anyone got a pair of stockings and a sawn-off shotgun they could lend me?

wembley can change in 28 days

21:50 / 03.08.06

Stoatie, please take my heart and rock out. Cancer-free vibes go out to your mom and sister.

I'm also posting for reasons that are not actually as serious but fuck it I'm still fucking miserable. How long do you have to be celibate before you meet a goddamned okay person who wants to sleep with you? Huh? How fucking long? Two years is feeling like a lot right now; another two will have me right out of my head. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.

ORA ORA ORA ORAAAA!!

14:30 / 04.08.06

Stoatie, I hope your family is ok. And you.
there seems to be FAR TOO MUCH cancer around these days. My family has had run-ins, the families of my friends are having theirs now, it never seems to end.

And today I read about nasal polyps because there's some thing in my right nostril which has been there forever but is getting more sore and hurty, and words like cancer were in the pages about them.

But I do not think that there is any cause for alarm. I'm just irritated because now I'll have to go to the doctor and get operated on for whatever thing it is which is holding the side of my nose to the septum. Because it hurts and blood is coming out of me at unsuitable times.

On the plus side, it'll really make my future cocaine-snorting career a lot easier, cause right now it's impossible.

Brigade du jour

14:36 / 04.08.06

I'm sorry Stoatie. With the best will in the world, I hope you don't feel the need to visit this thread too often. But just in case, love and hugs.

15:46 / 04.08.06

How long do you have to be celibate before you meet a goddamned okay person who wants to sleep with you? Huh? How fucking long? Two years is feeling like a lot right now; another two will have me right out of my head.

Don't worry, another two years after that and you don't give a shit any more. Promise.

18:03 / 06.08.06

And while we’re on the subject of meeting people…

I decided a month ago to go out less often for the rest of the year, just to have a bit of a break and to have more time for other things at the weekend. And then I thought this would the perfect time to try another way of meeting people. I’ve had no luck with myspace so I decided to create a profile on a dating website. That in itself is a bit depressing. Quite a number of people added me to their favourites in the first couple of days but there was no-one I was particularly interested in and most of them lived quite far away. Again, quite depressing. On day 3 someone who’s also from Southampton and who’s got a great profile chose me as a favourite and I picked him too. So then I logged in every day for a week, expecting a message from him, only to be disappointed every time. Again, quite depressing and frustrating. By the end of the week I was so fed up and because I’ve been single for so long I thought that I should maybe once - just once - try and be a bit more proactive and send him a message myself. In order to do that I had to pay a membership fee of over £30 and then I logged in every night for another week without ever getting a reply (and without hearing from anyone else). I’m so pissed off! I can’t believe I spent over £30 just to send someone a message. And if he hadn’t picked me as a favourite, this wouldn’t have fucking happened. Fucking cunt. Ah.

paranoidwriter waves hello

18:18 / 06.08.06

imaginary mice, from the little I know of these online dating services, there's every chance that he hasn't got the cash to cover the membership fee, may therefore not even be able to read your message, and is sitting there banging his head of his desk in frustration. i.e I heard a lot of them charge one to even read a message; true?

Don't know if that makes you feel better (hope it does) or serves only to increase the frustration.

But I do know how you feel. Although, to be honest, I gave up on searching for love many, many moons ago. I reckon it'll find me in it's own good time and when it does I'll make an effort to enjoy it while I can. Seems to have worked in the past, anyway...

18:22 / 06.08.06

I embarrassed to say that since I broke up with (insert name here) I haven't left the house apart from work or study (nor do I want to). I'm suprised that I still feel this bad about it all.

paranoidwriter waves hello

18:34 / 06.08.06

You have my deepest sympathies, shrug. I remember when I split up with one of my ex's, I had no idea how it would affect me. But as it turned out, it took me a long time to get over that relationship. Love can be very confusing, can't it?

(By the way, sorry if my last two posts make me sound like a cod agony aunt. My intention is more to sound like a mate in a pub than anything. "Faggaraggin Love, let me fecking tell you about fecking love...burp!...")

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

18:50 / 06.08.06

It just occurred to me that when I'm not working, the majority (not all, but the vast majority) of my conversations are a) online or b) with a dog.

That can't be right.

18:54 / 06.08.06

The majority of my dreams are about Barbelith.

That can't be right.

paranoidwriter waves hello

19:02 / 06.08.06

They're not apocalyptic dreams, are they?

Anyway, there's nothing wrong with a bit of online loving... is there?

Come on, give us a hug?

19:08 / 06.08.06

Thanks pw, appreciated. I didn't know what to say about the money issues earlier on in the week, tbph I still don't, other than I've been more than a little broke once or twice over the years too and know how pervasively distressing it is when nothing ever falls lucky and you lack a safety net. I hope it get better for you soon. Chin up.

Oh, and fuck it, why not, have a hug.

19:13 / 06.08.06

I had a dream about Kali and the cybermen. Last week I dreamt I had stolen Stoatie's bicycle, which just didn't make any sense at all and I spent half the morning thinking about it, until I remembered this. I also dream about Barbecrush #3 quite a lot. Maybe we're meant for each other?

paranoidwriter waves hello

19:21 / 06.08.06

Ahh....Cheers, Shrug.

As for my money situation, thanks and s'OK - I just needed to put it down somewhere and it helped having this thread to do that. Anyhoo, I'll muddle through, and I do have family and friends to turn to in extreme circumstances (even if I detest having to resort to leaning on them). Plus, I think I may have a job interview with the Devil* soon, so who knows...

*Obviously, not really "the" Devil, but I'm certainly going to have to sell-out my morals and politics to work for this particular company. "We sell our souls because every body needs to eat..."

(Sorry, I'll stop hogging this thread.)

[Edit: cross- posted with imaginary mice, above]

Tryphena Absent

21:53 / 08.08.06

I found out tonight that my friend's dad has had a stroke and is going to be in hospital for 4 to 5 months if everything goes well. Just before I went to see my friend tonight the cat wandered in with an almighty gash on his head. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning. The cat has to go to the vet tomorrow morning. I was late to see my friend because I was cleaning the cat's head. I went to work today on my week off. I have to go in on Thursday and Friday as well. I need to get passport photos taken. I do not know where a photo booth is.

I really wanted a week off. Just one fucking miserable sodding week. One week. Why can't I have some time off to just be me in?

paranoidwriter waves hello

22:00 / 08.08.06

Sorry to hear your bad news, Tryphena Sparks. If it helps, many tube and train stations have a photo-booth. If my memory serves me correctly, you're somewhere in North London? If so, I think there's one at Angel and there's definately one in Liverpool Street. I've noticed many shopping centres usually have one somewhere as well. Giz a mo, and I'll do a Google search...

paranoidwriter waves hello

22:03 / 08.08.06

Here ya go. This site has information about different tube stations, including whether they have a photo booth or not.

Best wishes.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

23:13 / 08.08.06

Pretty much all chemists do them as well, Tryph.

Tryphena Absent

11:07 / 09.08.06

Thanks people.

Ninjas make great pets

12:26 / 09.08.06

I've been betrayed by a friend. This is the 3rd time in my life this particular betrayal has happened. First time I didn't really notice I was about to do my leaving exams. Second time left some pretty nasty rage. third time.. third time is still tied by the emotions of the second. I'm filled with a rage that makes me sick. but at the same time a genuine lack of ill will towards my friend (which I'm told is a bad idea). I don't know how to be angry with her and it's making me miserable.

my other friend has gone back to spain. I miss him.

all I can think is to be thankfull these are my main complaints. and they're small.

16:21 / 09.08.06

Ninja?

Kneecaps. Hockeysticks

23:41 / 09.08.06

So, today I'm in work. An old bloke comes in mid morning and starts ranting about how much Jewish history/culture book we have in stock and how this is tantamount to supporting Isreali agression in Lebanon.

I try calmly to explain that an awareness, interest or symapthy of and for Jewish history does not automatically equal approval of Isreali foreign policy. 'Blah blah, terrorist state, Blah blah, built on blood, blah bloody blah' I agian tried to point out that all nation states have blood on their hands, few more so than the UK, and that I would feel very put out if I were held personnally responsible for the bombing of Dresden or Fallujah, as both events were completely beyond my control.

A couple of hours later I put up a notice on the pillar outside the shop door calling for a demonstration at the Champions league qualifier that night against an Isreali team. The Big Issue bloke comes in to tell me some old guy has pulled it down. I print a new one and have just finished putting it up when said old guy comes over and pulls it down again. When I ask him why he starts shouting at me, that I am a racist, the notice is racist, he is going to get the police and have me arrested for incighting racism.

I'm bloody sick of being shouted at by old men.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

I might be able to get some sleep now. Thankyou for listening.

07:12 / 10.08.06

Anxious, sick-in-the-pit-of-the-stomach ohshitness. Why? Leaks. While away on holiday, an upstairs cistern leaked through our living room ceiling. Finally had a plumber round yesterday to replace a 'flush cone' and give us a scary recommendation for other stuff needing done. Which wasn't entirely unexpected: increasingly, we're getting the feeling that the couple who owned the flat before us had more money than sense, buying very stylish designery bathroom fittings then, er, failing to fit them properly.

What is unexpected is that, this morning, day after the cistern repair, water from the shower starts dripping through the ceiling below. A new leak - which a) seems weirdly coincidental, and b) looks like it's going to be expensive. I can't see any access panels around our shower. It looks like any attempt at checking/fixing the plumbing is going to involve going through plaster or tiles...

Of course, this all comes a couple of days before we're due to have a party - which may now need to be cancelled. Pooholes.

ONLY NICE THINGS

07:16 / 10.08.06

Oh, cocknoses, 'Nesh. I''ve got my fingers crossed for you.

16:48 / 21.08.06

I hate my job so very much. It's like a black hole of suck that's taking over my life and I can't seem to escape it.
Because it sucks so much I find myself drinking and smoking too much, which means I accomplish nothing - I haven't worked on my Russian in weeks and my flat's a tip.
Because the pay is so pish I can't afford to do anything fun, and now I'm going to have to take a second, even shittier job so I can get out of debt and buy a pair of shoes without holes in.
And I don't like the way all I seem to do now is bitch and whine about how shit my job is. Self pity is a very unattractive state of mind.
I'd quit tomorrow if I had anywhere else to go.

17:23 / 21.08.06

That sucks Axolotl. With any luck we'll get a barbe-meet together at your end soon and we can stand you a few.

Uh, which doesn't help with the drinking too much I guess, but you'll have company and at least you won't be able to smoke! But seriously, hope things get better in the not too distant future.

17:41 / 21.08.06

Thanks Blakehead. Thanks for the offer of the beers but in all honesty my relative poverty is my own fault really caused by my boozing and lack of willpower.
That said a barbe-meet sounds good. If I whine too much about my job, please tell me to shut up though.

19:23 / 21.08.06

Ganesh, I'm sorry to hear that you are having problems with your er...pluming. I have had that particular nightmare and you have my deepest sympathy.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

01:36 / 31.08.06

Well.

I'm all right, and as such I feel a bit bad for coming to this thread at all but... it seems I've had a bit of a bad go of my epilepsy tonight, and I'm a bit confused and emotional, and I'm fed up of being confused and emotional, and I don't want to be epileptic anymore.

Blah.

03:23 / 31.08.06

I have never broken down in public, felt my face so contorted in misery, been completely unable to finish a sentence, felt so without solace, felt so abjectly lonely as these last two months.

08:42 / 31.08.06

Oops probably distinct over-dramatic word usage yesterday. My feelings are being cradled then stamped on in a vodka and break up induced torture rotisserie worsened by continued contact with that person (who unpromptedly declares love for me and who because of his actions I disbelieve completely).

10:06 / 31.08.06

Mordant, hopefully you're not feeling confused and emotional any more, but here's a belated *hug* anyway.

Cat Room, he wasn't worth it, you're much too good for him... It'll get better and in the meantime we're all here for you.

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