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Mafia2: The Game Thread

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Whisky Priestess

16:17 / 11.02.03

Oh great, Enamon & Lionheart, the terrible twins.

I would say that post-match analysis is a tad redundant at this stage: not only are half the votes completely on a whim (as with the first few rounds of the last game), but the remaining people, if they vote for Bitchlaces, might simply be doing so in order to save the innocent(?) doctor rather than out of Byron-directed malice.

Or then again they might be doing it so that we end up with a hung jury and have to vote again ... hmmm. Although that would be kind of exciting in a Sax/grant standoff way, and it would be good to make the two candidates defend themselves to the mob, after which we could lynch the one who was least persuasive.

This is all very Julius Caesar.

16:20 / 11.02.03

When did Moses build the ark, Whiskey?

16:21 / 11.02.03

Whim? This is a vital test of my precognitive powers. I'll declare to all and sundry that I'm a precog, and start charging Ms. Cleo-like rates if Flyboy actually is Mafia.

And don't think you're above suspicion, "Priestess."

[delivers evil eye]

Whisky Priestess

16:26 / 11.02.03

Moses? Ark? Eh?

I think it's time for your pills, Colonel. Although "Moops" is a word of genius. I shall be stealing it for my own evil (non-Mafia-related) purposes.

Yeah, and if you're wrong and Flyboy's innocent, Mr. Todd, your evil eye will be staring right back atcha.

01:49 / 12.02.03

Um, yeah, that was opaque, wasn't it? I was referring to this:

post-match analysis is a tad redundant at this stage.

Not for nothing, but I think any revote should be a run-off.

Now where's me pills?

08:38 / 12.02.03

Bendt Chromeo goes home.

Fair Juliet: Hi hon, how did your days go?
Chromeo: Poorly. We waited and waited for the lynch mob to get going. It hasn't started yet.
Fair Juliet: How did you survive?
Chromeo: Poorly.

(Faints from fatigue)

No star here laces

08:44 / 12.02.03

Mr Mayor - if someone takes more than 24 hours to respond to a lynch mob request, can they be executed too?

The town grows impatient...

No star here laces

08:45 / 12.02.03

And by the way, did anyone ever tell you that you look like a famous financier?

08:59 / 12.02.03

Sadly, Bitchlaces, Enamon & Lionheart are famed around these here parts as two of the slowest lynchers in history. I recall the great lynching of '81 when we chased off Old Man Smithers. We were half a mile down the road and they had just woken up; by four miles they were reaching for their pitchforks. By ten miles, Smithers was dead and the dynamic duo had gone back to bed.

09:47 / 12.02.03

Why does our mayor have a plasticine nose?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

10:12 / 12.02.03

What kind of mayor do you suppose
Would gad about town with a plasticine nose?

mumbles the Chairman, relighting his pipe. Then, with a "pah!", casting it aside in favour of his sturdy bong.

11:03 / 12.02.03

The kind of a mayor with mafia woes
Would gad about town with a plasticine nose.
This waiting on lynch mobs has stiffened his pose
As a God-fearing mayor with a plasticine nose.

mutters the barkeep pouring himself another pint of cask slurry.

12:37 / 12.02.03

OK, we're waiting for the Yetis and bengali at this point. Hopefully, by noon EST, five pm GMT, they'll have turned up. Or else I may have to take steps.

Whisky Priestess

12:42 / 12.02.03

Not the popular boy/girl band whose hits include Tragedy and Better Best Forgotten (how true ...)

Surely nothing can justify that?

Goodness Gracious Meme

12:47 / 12.02.03

Bengali raises her head blearly from her usual corner at old Orr's bar....Can't a girl sleep off a hangover in peace? or pieces, judging from this thread.

Whatcha all got 'ginst poor Doc Fly anyways? Actually, I'm not that convinced by the doc schtick either, but he'll keep.

(translation: haven't had access for a couple of days. sorry all.)

Bitchlaces, Enamon & Lionheart are famed around these here parts as two of the slowest lynchers in history.

Er, Tez. surely that makes *three*. Surely no-one can be quite that 'er duhhh'. Overplaying the simple villager a little? or is Tez just simple. who knows?

Anyway, I see I'm not alone in finding the Bitchlaces boy a pretty dubious character, but right now I have to concur with him.

I accuse Whiskey Priestess

Goodness Gracious Meme

12:49 / 12.02.03

Why does our mayor have a plasticine nose

Because he's a-gone and started moonlightin' that's why... currently appearing opposite Meryl Streep, in The Hours, he is.

12:58 / 12.02.03

Whatcha all got 'ginst poor Doc Fly anyways?

Simple. Doc and McFly are two seperate people. Claiming to be them both is a) very confusing and b) obviously a pseudonym. The man is a mafia plant and must die.

Either that or it's getting near happy hourr and we want to get this lynching over so we can drink ourselves into oblivion and forget that tonight one of us shall die...

13:06 / 12.02.03

Er, Tez. surely that makes *three*. Surely no-one can be quite that 'er duhhh'. Overplaying the simple villager a little? or is Tez just simple. who knows?

*sigh* How does a simple rat-catcher put this? You see, Platforms, in this here town we sometimes need to respond to a statement made by another person. Sometimes, when there are a lot of townsfolk who have made comments, it is necessary to make it clear which one we are responding to. By commencing my post with 'Bitchlaces,' I have cleverly informed the group that my post is directed towards a comment made by....guess who? You got it....Bitchlaces. The comma announces that I have finished directing my post, and that everything thereafter is to be taken as being the actual response. Unfortunately, this can sometimes be made tricky if we add the variable of a non-Granton fluent foreigner - possibly of Sicilian descent - who assumes the name before the comma is part of the two names given afterwards. Would you also like me to give you directions to the nearest train station in a very loud voice?

13:13 / 12.02.03

Thinking about the above, methinks this game loses something when robbed of tone, inflection, and body language.

Whisky Priestess

13:23 / 12.02.03

I don't think it counts as a proper accusation if they don't spell my name right. Mayor with the Plasticine Nose (although it looks more like a carrot to me), I call for a revote! Florida will swing, dammit!

Goodness Gracious Meme

13:31 / 12.02.03

Ouch. No need to get all uppity, Tez. Touched a nerve, have I?

Masquerading as a villager is a bit tedious if you run the risk of being thought stupid, it would seem.

And tough luck Whisky. I'll nominate you again if you insist on avoiding the issue like that.

Now line up that slurry, Orr, my hangover's kicking in again.

13:33 / 12.02.03

Picture the mayor, his girth so disturbing
With plasticine nose and gelatinous thighs
Mustachieoed like Walrus, he's shoveling the slurry
And readying to lynch the boy prenomed Fly....

No star here laces

13:33 / 12.02.03

I wouldnae worry about it, hen, the fact that BiP voted for you simply means that the Doc has had it...

Let's lynch him immediately - it doesn't matter what the twins do now anyhow.

Sorry buddy.

14:05 / 12.02.03

Hmmm.

(Whispers conspiratorially)I have seen what Enamon and Lionheart do to candles(/whispers conspiratorially)

They shure look mighty suspecious.

15:14 / 12.02.03

Here y'are, bipster. I'd charge you residents prices but I'm not sure that spending a week slumped over the table in the corner counts as renting a room.

Mind, if our resident rat-catcher spent a little more time with his cheese and traps and a little less with his nose in his grammer text-books then maybe I'd stop hearing that scratching coming from the cellar.

R.I.P. Flyboy. After he's gone can I have first dibs on those coral slingbacks he always wore ?

15:39 / 12.02.03

"I'm not sure I have the stomach for much of this lynching business, especially if we get it all wrong. Barkeep - I've heard that your slurry shandies make a good anesthetic for settling an uneasy conscience. You might as well line up several for me - if the Doctor is innocent, I'll be sorely unhappy that he's been lynched and if he is Mafia, I'll be very disturbed that they've infiltrated our quiet little center of industy."

And the Widow drifts over to a table near the old piano...

No star here laces

15:46 / 12.02.03

Bitchlaces slumps in the corner, a picture of quiet, unsexy despondency. All he wanted was to be ignored but now he is accused of being the very thing he hates most. An ordinary man with ordinary troubles is he. Surely, he thinks, no mafia member could be so unsubtle as to proclaim his innocence so loudly.

He remembers his mothers dying words: "it's the quiet ones that are trouble, son..."

16:31 / 12.02.03

Is it my fault that I sleep for days on end? Anyways, I accuse Doc Flyboy.

If Flyboy is revealed as an innocent man then I'll have very good reason to suspect Todd as being mafia.

16:32 / 12.02.03

Mind, if our resident rat-catcher spent a little more time with his cheese and traps and a little less with his nose in his grammer text-books then maybe I'd stop hearing that scratching coming from the cellar

Apologies guv'ner. I'll get back down yer cellar now. It's just I had some trouble catching them last time. They kept hiding under all that distillery equipment.

17:37 / 12.02.03

Ya know, in Toddsylvania, they'd already lynched TWO innocent villagers by now...

The lord loves a hangin'
That's why He gave us necks
--19th American trad.

Whisky Priestess

17:40 / 12.02.03

May I propose that those villagers tardy (or unwilling) to vote, like that there Enamon, be put up against the proposed lynchee and the village can then decide which one gets topped, giving the proposed lynchee one last chance to cheat the Reaper, sort of like Death Big Brother?

Go on ... it would be fun!

Or we can just exile them from the village. Or import one of their "cousins" to play instead.

18:00 / 12.02.03

This last ditch effort to spare your Mafia buddy Flyboy isn't going to work, Whisky.

18:03 / 12.02.03

"Well, it's about time! What, you say, there's someone missing? I'll send a constable around in the morning! So, who's the scrofulous scalawag you fine people have rounded up? Doc Flyboy, is it?

"Well, let's get to work! String him up, boys!"

Amid panic and protestations, Flyboy is hoisted up on the old oak just outside city limits. A hush falls over the assembled mob as the moonlight dapples the pale, swinging corpse.

Two men dark suits approach the mayor's podium and whisper in his ear. He looks grim, and addresses the crowd:

"You darn fools! My men here have just been to Flyboy's house! They found a good store of laudanum, and a certificate of dismissal from Podunk University Medical Diploma Mill.

"The man may have been playing doctor and dabbling in narcotics, but he was no mobster! He was an ordinary Villager!

"Now, get back to work!"

-----

Mafia, Detective, Doctor, it's Night.
PM me your victim, question, and protectee!

Regrettable Juvenilia

18:11 / 12.02.03

A plague on all your houses, you foooooolsssss...

18:58 / 12.02.03

Dear God in Heaven, what have we done!??

Dibs on the laudanum.

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