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Mafia2: The Game Thread

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12:00 / 10.02.03

"Lynch someone," grunted PatriarchTodd as he maneuvred his bulk onto a bar stool at the Welcum Inn. "That's very ungodly behavior. What has been here happening that requires such drastic measures."

The old Amish gent was quickly brought up to speed on the rash of evil mafia activity in the area.

"What you need are hex signs over your houses. That'll keep the evil away, by the power of God. Barkeep, for a pint of cold milk from the icebox, I'll give ye a sign to put above your door":

"Isn't that grand?"

And/Orr pushes a galvanized tin mug of milk across the bar to Todd, who's again been distracted by the lynching loving loudmouth.

"who's that boy,yonder. The one with the fancy pants and the two dollar haircut?" Told who it was, Todd went on to all that could hear "Bitchlaces, that's an ungodly name. And for a fellow so nondescript, he's pretty conspicuous. I don't trust that slicker, no way. he ain't good folk."

No star here laces

12:41 / 10.02.03

Bitchlaces had grown up as a happy carefree child in the nearby village of Waddam (Mayor: Al Spade). His japes and sunny smile attracted the notice of the mafia who proceeded to butcher his mother and brother and eventually also his father.

Bitchlaces decided his only recourse was to become as inconsequential as a pebble on the street, a person that the eye naturally drifted over - a person whom the mafia could never pick out of the herd and put out like a candle.

If you could only remember him, you'd find him as innocent as a very innocent thing.

14:07 / 10.02.03

Well, citizens, what's going on here?
Who've you sniffed out? And where is that SCAMP Enamon! I expect you to do double duty at the Foundry tomorrow if you don't show your face for the vote!
So who's it to be? Let's have ourselves a lynching!
Back to work!

14:23 / 10.02.03

"A luncheon? I love a good pot-luck. I'll make sure to churn up some fresh butter for the occasion, and wear my best hat.."

14:39 / 10.02.03

People, gather around me, I have something very important to announce. I don't mean to alarm any of you unduly but I have my suspecions that the darn Dogo -- err, I meant mafia, *cough*, what I meant to say was, They're here, They're QUEER, get used to IT!! Yes, that's right, there are mafia among us and they are here to pervert our godgiven rights, and I will have none of that, dear fellow villagers. Amidst us, they exist and let's drive the first one out, shall we?

I accuse Doc Flyboy.

Reason? He adopted the doctor mantle, creating confusion over who was really the doctor, who's not too shallow for shamanism, I might add, and thereby attracting all the innocent villagers, or *shudder* the real Doctor...

He has been remarkably quiet, even after I put question marks to his role ... There are too many of you I'm still unsure about but I will eat my shorts if Flyboy isn't mafia.

Regrettable Juvenilia

14:58 / 10.02.03

To paraphrase Alan Partridge: get a plate, put your shorts on it, get a knife and fork and some tomato sauce - in other words, get ready to eat your shorts...

I'm trying to think about this laterally - if I was grant, who would I make Mafia? But maybe he picked people randomly...

15:16 / 10.02.03

"who is this Bendt Chromeo?, " Todd asked.

"..."

"Is that so? He's a prophet? I reckon he's right about that strange flyboy character, then. Thinking laterally - no honest Christian folk would do that. That's sure'n code language like for "conferring with my devilish coconspirators."

"I do have my suspicions about that bitchlaces boy, but that'll have to wait. "

"Course, if Chromeo proves to be a false prophet, he'll meet a fate worse than death."

I accuse Doc Flyboy.

15:26 / 10.02.03

Iszabelle trudges down to the scarecrow to retreive the scarlet silk top hat and scarf that she'd tied, bow-tie style, around the scarecrow's scrawny pole. It was 6:30, and nobody'd shown up. She straightened the scarecrow's coat and put his straw hat back affectionately, then thought about the people sho'd been present when she'd extended her initation.

The new doctor, the ratcatcher, the old gent who looked Amish, who else? Bendt, from the "observatory." Hmmph! And people thought she was eccentric! Why build an observatory here on the flats when Mt Huggles rose majestically above all the fumes and smog from the slurry processors? And he spends his days there; he's certainly not observing stars... Maybe people? And his "wife"!!! They looked as alike as two tadpoles, didn't behave as man and wife, and didn't behave like siblings, either, according to the rumour mill.

Dinner for herslf could be spanikopita appetizers and the mushroom and barley soup, and she could drop two of the roast chickens off at the church tomorrow. Cornbread muffins could go to the meeting tonight; people would eat them if Bendt hadn't been spreading his fantasies about her again. He thought she'd murdered her beloved husband Jasper! How would she have engineered the collapse of the slurry-pot scaffolding to kill him alone when she was over in Sunneville, attending to her sister's estate?

15:29 / 10.02.03

Happy Lynching Day, Grantonites!

I accuse Doc Flyboy. I mean, why not?

No star here laces

15:29 / 10.02.03

Clearly protesting ones innocence is not taken at face value around here. I will have to stop.

I have some suspicions. But in the manner of the traumatised am keeping them close to my chest.

But this time around, I have to accuse Whisky Priestess. We're a puritan lot down Granton way, and I frown upon her drinking. I also suspect she survived the Toddsylvanian bloodbath by using wiles upon the mafia and is now avenging their eventual doom upon us poor innocent slurriers.

Whisky Priestess

16:23 / 10.02.03

Wiles? The Priestess? She worships at the altar of the bottle, not that of priapic man-flesh! Plus she's been in her room all weekend, just like when she was 13 and hadn't done her homework .... shudder. Away, vile memories of a depraved childhood!

Just for that I'm going to accuse that too-innocent-by-half Bitchlaces. Anyone who protests that much must have something to hide.

Flyboy, on the other hand, I don't think is Mafia, because if he was he wouldn't want to draw attention to himself this early in the game (or at all, probably, take note over-inconspicuous young Byron) and risk lynching.

But I don't think he's the doctor either cos he wouldn't be so stoopid as to make himself a sitting duck for a mob hit by pretending to be the doctor if he really was the doctor.

Unless it's all a cunning game of double-bluff. But I think accusations are of their nature pretty random at this stage, so God knows...

17:15 / 10.02.03

I'm with the rest of the townsfolk on this. J'accuse Flyboy.

19:50 / 10.02.03

Yep. J'accuse Flyboy aussi. Nothing personal, but this mob's got a full head of steam, and who'm I to throw cold water on its parade?

Save me a leg, ok?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

21:47 / 10.02.03

Hmm. The grumpy old Chairman is still not sure about that Chromeo chappie, but is even more dubious about the so-called Doctor, and therefore that's another accusation levelled at Flyboy.

Regrettable Juvenilia

21:59 / 10.02.03

God, am I fucking dead already? This is appalling. People, listen to me: I am not Mafia. If I was, would I have been playing the fool so willingly? And look, anyone who knows me will tell you I am the most transparent person in the world. I am that obvious. I cannot dissemble. If I were Mafia, you'd know about it. I'd probably have drunkenly told you.

Okay, so now I have a problem. Whiskey and Bitchlaces haven't voted for me - and note this is two people I know well in real life, so they should know - but they have voted for each other, and in my current dire state, it would make sense to go for one of them. However, both of them are people I'd like to see stay in the game...

And fuck, I have to get a shot back at the man who started this evil rumour that I'm Mafia...

...I vote for Bendt Chromeo. See how he set himself up as witchfinder general - what's that all about, eh?

Have mercy, other villagers.

No star here laces

22:24 / 10.02.03

People, we need to start thinking about the next round. Remember the mafia will all vote together to ensure a lynching, therefore the mafia must all have voted for Flyboy (unless he is mafia). If he is a villager only myself and whisky are guaranteed innocent...

No star here laces

22:25 / 10.02.03

Just thought I'd chuck that in there to mess with the remaining voters' heads...

00:06 / 11.02.03

The Widow pads into the back of the town meeting, and listens.

Byron makes no sense whatsoever... at this point there are no guarantees. She doesn't think that the good Doc Fly is Mafia, although he is a relative newcomer... as is that Priestess.

She splits open a warm cornbread muffin from her basket, studies the revealed topography, then looks around the room. Only one person has a matching combination of protruding chin and nose, and that's the dear old Chairman. That can't be right, she muses, and turns the split muffin 90 degrees. A bit of fresh corn matches up with a mole she's noticed more than once, and she accuses Byron Bitchlaces.

Corn muffins are never a good divination tool, but they do taste good... She passes the basket to the town ratcatcher, Tezcatlipoca.

00:48 / 11.02.03

I'm not sure how everyone is so certain that the doc is Mafia on so little evidence. On the other hand, there's damn all to implicate anyone so on that basis so, I nominate the Widow Iszabelle.

That'll learn her to steal my custom.

01:45 / 11.02.03

Nah, it's too soon for strategy. Tonight we're carrying buckshot. Tomorrow we start thinking.

Sorry 'bout that, Doc.

02:25 / 11.02.03

"If the remaining villagers take pity on the Doctor, there could be a tie. Meanwhile, I haven't seen any strategy at all yet, just occasional bits of petty retribution."

03:08 / 11.02.03

But that's only if the remaining villagers all vote to lynch Bitchlaces. What happens in the event of a tie? Is there a rule for that?

04:37 / 11.02.03

"just occasional bits of petty retribution."

Folks, this is a lynch mob. What did you expect? If anyone's holding back something vaguely approaching evidence, be nice and share with the party.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

10:36 / 11.02.03

Evidence? Evidence?

I've a sturdy two-by-four and a flaming torch. What need have I for evidence?

[aside] Sorry, Doc... this could break my heart, boy. [/aside]

Now let's quit with the quibbling and lynch this Goldurned so-called Doctor before he steals all our wives!... umm... kills someone. Yeah, that's it.

Whisky Priestess

12:21 / 11.02.03

"petty retribution"? As far as I'm concerned it was self-defence!
Next person who calls me petty gets a waspie in the shower.

But I would urge remaining voters to leave the Doc alone - the way he's played so far is so not-Mafia. Look at the previous game - the Mafia kept pretty quiet until the second or third round and everyone the mob lynched until grant was innocent. Although that's also a numbers thing, obviously.

Plus it might be all tense and exciting if there's a tie.

12:39 / 11.02.03

Think of the benefits of piling on Flyboy now, though -

If he's Mafia (which he is - the arthritis in my left ankle acts up whenever one of 'em is around), you've done your civic duty. The more people who vote for him, the more targets the rest of the mafia have to worry about.

If he's not Mafia, well, you've voted for someone who is out of the game, and therefore cannot exact retribution on you. If, on the other hand, you vote for someone who won't be eliminated this round, you risk antagonizing someone who might be able to rally the troops (mafia or villagers) against you next round.

13:27 / 11.02.03

By my count, we've got 11 votes thus far:
6 for Flyboy
2 for Byron
1 each for Whisky, Bendt & Iszabelle

Citizens, we need to get these final votes in! The sun is going down, and our town demands a lynching by nightfall! Every voice must be heard!

What? A question in front?

lolita nation: What happens in the event of a tie? Is there a rule for that?

That's why we started with an odd number of citizens! Any ties within that odd number will be revoted! Now, let's get cracking.

Back to work!

14:30 / 11.02.03

I can't be the one to kill that handsome Doc Flyboy, so

I accuse Bitchlaces.

They could both be mafia anyway since they appear to be protecting each other.

Regrettable Juvenilia

14:53 / 11.02.03

Woah. Todd. Way to give yourself away. You've just implied there could ever be a good reason to lynch a fellow villager...

I reckon I know who at least one other Mafia member is.

If they get me, remember: it wasn't the mob, it was the Mob. I was fit up.

No star here laces

15:22 / 11.02.03

Um yeah. Cos like if we were both villagers there'd be no incentive to protect each other.

???

No star here laces

15:24 / 11.02.03

Dammit, he'd better not be mafia, otherwise I'm going to look guilty as hell.

Seriously though, Todd - why would you say you were sure he was mafia? "might as well lynch him, it's only the first round" would've been justification enough...

16:00 / 11.02.03

I'm posting this list of all players so we don't have to keep flipping to the other Game 2 thread.

Todd
Qalyn
Lolita nation
Maominstoat
And/Orr
Enamon
Iszabelle
Tezcatlipoca
Byron Bitchlaces
Whiskey
Bengali in platforms
Flyboy
Bendt Chromeo
lionheart
bjacques

We're waiting on Enamon, Lionheart, & Bengali, a mafia-like trifecta, though if only one of them goes for Flyboy the polls can close.

16:05 / 11.02.03

For the post-lynching analysis:

Flyboy: Chromeo, Todd, Qalyn, Tezkimpossibletopronouncipoka, Maominstoat, bjacques
byron bitchlaces: Whiskey Priestess, Iszabelle, lolita
Whiskey Priestess: byron bitchlaces
Chromeo: Flyboy
Iszabelle: And/Orr

No star here laces

16:13 / 11.02.03

You missed out bjacques who also voted for flyboy...

16:14 / 11.02.03

You've just implied there could ever be a good reason to lynch a fellow villager...

Ah, there are many, many good reasons to lynch innocent villagers. It's a perfect solution for the unemployment problem, for instance. Haven't you noticed that lynchmobs always start forming shortly after our beloved mayor has had a round of layoffs at the plant? Anyway, we don't want to get an unsavory reputation for justice or compassion -- a mere lindy-hop from communism.

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