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Urgh! Fuck!: A thread for untamed hate and anger [PICS]

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Regrettable Juvenilia

10:18 / 17.09.04

Ah, the words "you people" alone make me glad I no longer answer the phone for a living...

Hattie's Kitchen

11:05 / 28.09.04

I arrived back at my flat yesterday to find yet another fucking notice of non-payment from Npower about a fucking £323 unpaid gas bill belonging to the previous tenants, threatening ME with a gas cut-off if it wasn't paid within 48 hours. I've already phoned up the useless twats 4 times about this, explaining that the bill is nothing to do with me and that I'm already paying the gas bill that's in my name, and each time the shit-eating minion on the other end of the phone has simpered that they will cancel the previous tenants' account and I should just ignore the warnings.

HOW CAN I FUCKING IGNORE THEM IF YOU KEEP SENDING THEM TO ME, YOU BRAIN-DEAD FUCK-TARDS?

Because I'm the type of person who worries that some call-centre processing error will lead to my gas being cut off through no fault of my own.

I know this is a real possibility, having worked in a famous bank's internet banking call centre and ignoring several customer complaints because it was late, I was fed-up, and being paid just enough to keep me in Tesco value bread and baked beans for a week didn't justify being screamed at by irate customers who were too fucking stupid to access their own bank accounts, for example:

Me: "You need to click on the account button with your mouse."

Customer: "What's a mouse?"

And also:

Me: "If your screen's frozen, you need to close any open windows and re-try your internet connection."

Customer: "OK."

(Silence lasting 5 minutes)

Customer: "OK, I've closed all my windows, except for the one in the bathroom because it's only just been painted..."

Anyway. I wish That's Life was still on, because I'd so be on the phone to Esther about how Npower are all a bunch of turd-licking bastards who suck the insects off a dead dog's scrotum. I know working in a call centre is a lousy job, but for fuck's sake, do I really need to phone up 4 times to tell you that you've no chance of getting the bill paid? Talk about being over-optimistic. As if I'd really go: "Oh no! The previous tenants ran off without paying this bill! Poor Npower, they must be awfully worried about their revenue - tell you what, I'm feeling really generous today - I'll pay £323 out of my own account even though it's fuck all to do with me."

Gah. Fuckers.

12:35 / 01.10.04

I am so positively sick with this, it's all so pointlessly agonizing; I don't even have the words. it doesn't help me to think that it could be worse, that for so many people it IS so very much worse. it makes it worse, really, to have this tiny little piece of what terrible things you've done to others. I'm so angry and there's no one to turn it onto - I hate you, I hate you, I fucking hate you. thanks for taking away the one thing that I've got that was easy for me.

Hattie's Kitchen

13:27 / 04.10.04

So I'm sat on the bus on Friday night with the girlfriend...there's a couple on the seats opposite us, the woman is reading the paper, and the bloke is fast asleep, presumably already boozed up.

Then this couple, around twenty-ish in age, got on the bus and sat directly opposite the other couple. The young-ish couple start chattering away to each other in German.

The fast-asleep bloke wakes up, looks over at the German-speaking bloke, leans across and PUNCHES HIM full-on in the face.

After punching him, he starts spewing obscenities along the lines of "fucking German cunts, get the fuck off this bus, you fucking Nazi bastards, you killed my granddad"...understandably, the German-speaking bloke is so shaken up that he runs off the bus - his wife/girlfriend/friend bravely tries to remonstrate with the FUCKING LITTLE BRITISH YOB, only to be threatened with more of the same. She too flees from the bus.

This infuriates me in so many ways. Thanks to this fucking ignorant stupid yob, I am ashamed to be British. He didn't even know whether the couple were German, they could've been Austrian, Swiss, whatever - and if they were German, how exactly does punching a twenty-year old German avenge the memory of your grandfather who died in WW2? Fucking stupid ignorant prick.

19:01 / 05.10.04

Stupid little son of a bitch, swerving around me from behind as I'm trying to merge, and then flicking me off for his own terrible driving.

(Note: the off-flicking may have had more to do with my giving him his well deserved and well audible "Fuck you!" I blame him nonetheless.)

Less searchable M0rd4nt

13:17 / 07.10.04

To avoid bumping the thread...

Didn't reply to this yesterday; I thought that it might be wiser to step away from the keyboard and come back with a cooler head.

I've worked in the service industry quite a lot. In fact, most of my jobs have been in either the service or manufacturing industries. My last job was in a supermarket. Barring some sort of miracle my next job will probably be in a supermarket too. Which is a bit of a pisser, really, because I fucking hate working in supermarkets. I hate working in supermarkets with a passion as hot as the Sahara at midday and thrice as vast and do you know why? Because of people like you who make comments like that, because of the attitudes behind those comments, because of the complete inability of the general public to even imagine that there might possibly be a thinking, feeling human being behind the fucking nametag, because when I do a job like that I'm supposed to smile and be nice to people who treat me like their personal bloody servant/doormat.

Do you realise that supermarkets have all kinds of fiddly little rules about shit like this? Rules which, no matter how dumb they might seem to you, the humble employee, you have to follow to the letter if you want to keep your job (which, incidentally, can often be whisked out from under your feet with a flimsy excuse and a month's notice). That Safeway's girl probably had her manager breathing down her neck that day just waiting for her to let a card through without checking the signature. If you'd been listening to your bloody manager squawking "Check the signature! Check the signature!" fifteen times a day, you'd be a bit more careful about checking the damn signiature too.

Bitch yourself.

PS:

13:30 / 07.10.04

Well I'm a supermarket manager and do you have any idea how much pressure I'm under to make sure employees check the signatures? Head office ramming it down your throat ten times a day, every little problem being brought directly to you, no matter how trivial, not to mention all the people on 'sick days'...
And my friend works at the Head Office and he's under a fantastic amount of pressure as well. And the people who work for the credit card companies. And the pen manufacturers.
Actually none of that's true. Everyone is having a fantastic wonderful time.

13:53 / 07.10.04

I should probably make clear the above post isn't an attack on Mordant. Crappy retail jobs will indeed swallow your soul.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

22:26 / 07.10.04

Can you PLEASE get it through your head that what I really don't need at the moment is you phoning me up drunk every time your dog looks at you funny cos you're paranoid she might be ill when she quite blatantly isn't?

23:32 / 07.10.04

Hi, I'm sorry you're probably an immigrant or a one of those people working in a call centre somewhere in India trying to make ends meet but when you call me up, fresh from the bath, at 8:56 (because you shits aren't allowed to call after 9) and ask me in broken English if you can 'take my name' because you're filing it away on a database somewhere to sell off to your little horse-fucking marketing buddies in Dorset then I am going to suddenly screech incoherently down the phone at the top of my lungs and hang up on you.

I hope your ears ring for a week. You piece of bat shit.

Goodness Gracious Meme

23:49 / 07.10.04

Fucking fucking fucking trains. Hormonal, achey, beginnings of flu. I did not need this.

London to Brighton. Should take, oh, an hour.

*Not* three

First train late. Second train cancelled. Third got to East Croydon and didn't leave. We got off, it was cancelled. Fourth train missed as they had to, due to third cancelled train, route it to a different platform and *told us 1min before it arrived*

Fifth train therefore filled to 'Black Hole of Calcutta' degree.

To add real 'argh fuck' value:

Farrago resulted in waiting in a station plastered with SouthfuckingCentral's rebranding exercise:

'Here's a train announcement that's good news: SC is now Southern'

I did feel better reading that a thousand times during my *hour and a half* wait at Croydon station.

'Here's a train announcement that's good news: you might get home before midnight. Love, overpaid fatcats'

ONLY NICE THINGS

07:17 / 08.10.04

Ah yes... "At last, a train announcement you might be glad to hear"...

Why, Southern Rail, should we be glad to hear it? Because we are so gullible that we believe a change of name will somehow magically stop you being shit? Or just because we have been conditioned to feel a sense of dread and horror at the very hint of the insect clatter of the tannoy, knowing as we do that that announcement is the beginning of a Russian roulette: perhaps it will be some other fucker, or perhaps we will have to run like fools to another platform, or fail to crowbar ourselves onto a train that is twenty minutes late and packed upon entry, no matter how many grannies we headbutt. Or find ourselves stranded between two points, getting from either of which to the other without using a train would have been difficult, but getting *to* either of which without a train from this abandoned tussock is quite impossible. So, any trian announcement, even if it means nothing to us, that does not actually involve our lives being ruined should be cause for gladness?

That's not gladness. That's just a brief pause in the unending, grinding misery that you have caused. Fuckaarghs.

09:38 / 08.10.04

the tube and the wankers on it...

Yesterday I got on the tube for work- as usual it was rammed by the time i got on, as I stepped into the cattle herder bit where the doors are there was a massive bag on the floor- not a suitcase- travel bag etc but a massive sports bag- dumped just where want to stand- now despite it tripping up everyone as they tried to get on- what also worried me that it was unaccompanied- call me paranoid but i'd always just rather check that someone owns it- so i ask- 'is this anybodys bag?'
fuck me everyone on the carriage ignores me and looks at their feet- so again- 'is this anyones bag?'- i then get a couple of shifty head shakes but by and large I'm being ignored- it was only when i shouted - 'if nobody claims this bag I'm pulling the emergency cord!'- that some sleepy suit 'sitting' halfway down the carriage looks up and says oh yeah its mine- and then makes no attempt to reclaim it- and the looks i got?!! it was like i was the madman of the carriage- 'try and disrupt my day you weirdo...'
all of you with yer don't make eye contact with me shit- bullshit- if you ask a civil question to a stranger in London its like your a crazy- don't invade my space i'd rather a fucking bomb went off than talk to you...

cunts...

i've only lived here seven years tho...

Jack The Bodiless

11:20 / 08.10.04

ARRRRRGH.

It is NOT my fault that your GP cannot be arsed to forward your medical records to the consultant. It is NOT my fault that Royal & SunAlliance will not admit liability and pay you some money. It is NOT my fault that, as a consequence, I am having to persuade you to prepare to attend a hearing to put across your case, or that, as your SKULLFUCKING LAWYER, I have to make you aware of the possibility that your case will fail.

So THANK YOU for calling my boss's boss and askign him to take me off the case due to my APPARENT CRUSHING INCOMPETENCE, you CHUNNEL-EATING SCUMCRUMBLE.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

03:20 / 09.10.04

Phoning someone up and asking them what kind of men their ex-girlfriend is into would seem a little tactless, don't you think? Apparently not.

05:14 / 09.10.04

I am going to eat your dogs.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

10:05 / 09.10.04

Fucking plumbers.

08:01 / 12.10.04

OK, since when is the fact that students pay fees an excuse for being able to walk into a seminar class nearly half an hour late and be expected to be let in? And where do these students get the fucking arrogance to try and argue with me? Like it or not, it's my class, and my decision. If you're going to be late, it's my perogative to ask you to leave. The fact that you pay your fees does not mean the lecturers are lining up to kiss your pucker and shine it up afterwards.

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

13:18 / 12.10.04

FUCKING CAMDEN FUCK CUNTY COUNCIL FUCK!!

Due to paying business rates 2 days late (that's 48 pricking hours, yeah?), the arseholes sent a court order for a FUCKING BAILLIFF to come and LEVY DISTRESS on our fucking plant and machinery unless we agreed to pay the fucking rates WE'D ALREADY CUNTING WELL PAID!!!

The cost of this Bailiffs visit to us?

FOUR HUNDRED FUCKING QUID!!!

I'm off on holiday tomorrow, and just had to pay seven hundred and eighty poxing bastard knacker, cash, to a fat shit with a moustache or have him nick all me office wares.

I could seriously do foolish violence right now.

14:52 / 12.10.04

Bailiffs have got to be the nastiest profession ever. They come round and take your gear and fucking charge you for the privilege. I couldn't do it, and I have serious doubts about people who can do that kind of thing for a living.

09:43 / 13.10.04

Bengali and Haus, at least you didn't have to sit through their company induction programme, and their bastard rebranding video.

To make matters worse, apparently I was the only one in a room of fifty people who wasn't "moved" by their horrid little movie. People were crying, fer fuck's sake. CRYING!

ARRGHHHHFAAAARRRKKK!!!!!!!!!! Indeed.

ONLY NICE THINGS

10:11 / 13.10.04

Oooh. That's gonna leave a permanent way. So, what was the reasoning?

09:16 / 14.10.04

For the tears?

Because, you know, Southern is trying to do good, trying to make a change in this nasty world of ours. Southern is all about taking responsibility, and not walking on by if something needs fixing or someone needs help.

Makes you think, doesn't it? I'm welling up.

By the by, and on a completely unrelated subject, does anyone else hate the use of "freaking" as a substitute for "fucking"? The bloody word was invented by film censors, for freak's sake.

I'm tempted to shoot guilty 'lithers on sight.

09:19 / 14.10.04

Yeah, it's fraggin' annoying.

16:03 / 19.10.04

Had to explain at length why 'slant-eyed orientals' is considered offensive.

Was told that since the speaker was 1/2 Indonesian and a nice guy, his comment wasn't racist.

I mean, he was arguing with me about this.

16:20 / 19.10.04

Ugh! Nightclub dwight, can I just add my rage to yours?

Especially for the argument after they were called on it.

17:45 / 19.10.04

Can you believe it? And you know what finally shut him up? When I admitted that I found it personally offensive. I hadn't wanted to bring my personal feelings into it because if he's wrong, he's just wrong, and I don't see that it matters whether I took it personally or not.

Somehow, I feel I wound up losing that argument.

And he started screaming about POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAAAAD and how TIRED he was of it. Really? Really? It's exhausted you, has it? Tell me exactly how you've been fucking oppressed ...

God. The way he looked at me, like he was a puppy I'd just kicked.

21:49 / 19.10.04

"Dear Mr Dupre

Thankyou for your application for position of blah blah. I passed it and your CV along to our personnel manager. While he was impressed with both your skill set and your experience, he felt that other applicants were better suited for the job. as a result, I'm afraid that we won't be offering you an interview."

Now, here's the thing. A month later and you're still advertising the cunting job all over the Internet. So maybe you'd like to tell me exactly what fucking harm it would have done to at least give me an interview four weeks ago?

21:53 / 19.10.04

HR Departments are a whole world of suck. I am sorry that their bastardry has impacted you, chief.

22:31 / 19.10.04

And he started screaming about POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAAAAD and how TIRED he was of it. Really? Really? It's exhausted you, has it? Tell me exactly how you've been fucking oppressed ...

You are oppressing his right to oppress others, obviously. It is a free society maaaan! FREE THE OPPRESSORS!

22:42 / 19.10.04

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, that helped. Don't worry. Other than proper capitalization, that will be the last uppercase in this post.

Now, on with the bitching.

Why, oh why does it seem that fate conspires to toss only women with wierd messed up flaws in my path.

I think I have now gotten every excuse for why a woman would not want to date a guy EVER.

Oh, you're great, but I don't want to jepardize our friendship.

Oh, you're dateable, but I'm not in a place where I can be in a relationship.

Oh, you're wonderful, but I have too much baggage.

Here's a paradox right up there with the job experience thing(you know, can't get a job without experience, can't get experience without a job).

If you actively look for dates, then you come off as desperate.

If you don't, then you miss almost every chance that you could get to date.

Oh, and when you do find someone to date, if you're LUCKY, they ditch you after a month or two.

Don't even get me started on what happens if you aren't.

I swear if I hadn't sworn to someone I wouldn't, I would cut off my dick and feed it to the rats so that I wouldn't have to bother with this crap anymore.

Arrgghhhh.

James
is, frighteningly enough, much more calm now than he was. He isn't wanting to put his fist through a wall.

00:52 / 20.10.04

1. I'd didn't pay my business rates on time.
2. I know the exact consequences for this.
3. A bailiff came round to do his job.
4. ?
5. I'm angry at the council.

Yeah okay, Ace.

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

11:11 / 20.10.04

Repost from an email sent to a friend:

So anyway, the creepy guy I sought of hinted at?

He owns 4 pint glasses. I own 4 pint glasses. The plesant irish guy owns 4 pint glasses.

What I am getting at here is there are twelve identical pint glasses in our kitchen. Same basic design, etc.

Anyway I'm in the kitchen fixing myself a lovely cool refreshing glass of cool water when lanky pedantic dork walks in. Cool glass of water on the side, I am in my cuboard looking for some blackcurrant cordial to put in it. Yum.

I get up. Dork boy (this guy is a colossal bore who digs F1 racing and is basically a creepy streak of piss) is HOLDING MY GLASS OF WATER UP TO THE FUCKING LIGHT. He then declares that it is one of his glasses (BECAUSE IT HAS NO WRITTING ON THE BOTTOM) POURS MY FUCKING DRINK OF WATER DOWN THE DRAIN IN FRONT OF ME, WASHES THE GLASS, (which I'd JUST FUCKING WASHED and had contained nothing but my refreshing water treat) and PUTS IT THE FUCK AWAY. THERE ARE 12 NEAR IDENTICAL GLASSES IN THE KITCHEN AND THIS GUY IS A POSESSIVE SPED. WHAT THE FUCK?

And come to think of it, this guy had got all pissy with me earlier because I'd used one of his sponge/fabric scourer things on a baking tray and got carbon on it. THIS IS A DISPOSABLE ITEM WHICH HAD BEEN LEFT ON THE SIDE AND COSTS PENNIES.

Jesus FUCK. I let everyone use my dish towels and oven mits, this guy is pissy over a glass of water and a disposable dish cleaner? What the shit?

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY IDIOTS IN THE WORLD?

UPDATE: LATER I WALKED IN AND THE SHITSTAIN WAS USING MY FUCKING SALT

11:23 / 20.10.04

He sounds a tad obsessive-compulsive. You should've told him you were saving your skin-flakes in that salt cellar.

16:03 / 20.10.04

Dudders, punch the fucker in the face. It's the only way.

The prick's pissing me off just hearing about him.

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