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Urgh! Fuck!: A thread for untamed hate and anger [PICS]

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Jake, Colossus of Clout

17:35 / 03.12.04

Thanks, Bobossboy. Nice to be here. It's quickly becoming my refuge from illiterate rural America. All of my smart friends moved away from here. I moved back. I'm not going to think about what that says about my sanity.

21:32 / 04.12.04

arghhh my evil manipulative bitch queen sister, i have never hated someone so much and not punched them in there smug face

23:47 / 04.12.04

GRRR! RAH RAH RAH SHISH BOOM BAH! Oh, I can't be stuffed. Can I have a hug?

00:35 / 05.12.04

Huggles for Morgue, huggles for puck, and for jake. Barbelith cares.

01:01 / 05.12.04

BAW!

Jake, Colossus of Clout

04:38 / 06.12.04

All these fucking seventies haircuts that are coming back in style. You know, with the shorter bangs leading into a shaggy back, like a Beatles cut gone awry? Whose damn idea was it to bring that shit back?

Also, seemingly sane, literate people who voted for Bush because "I get to keep more of my money." Have you seen the value of the dollar lately, fucksticks? Y'all keep track of the national debt? Does the fact that no one wants anything to do with our bonds seem indicative of anything? Stupid fucks. I'm fixing to switch my savings account into Euros.

I love this thread. I spend so much of my day pretending to empathize with people that I need a place to vent. Some asshole was in the bar today whining about how the economy has been so tough lately that he had to fire one(!) of his nannies. Apparently, his wife sometimes misses spa treatments because she actually has to take care of her children occasionally these days. Shitty tipper, too, the bastard.

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

06:53 / 06.12.04

I can sympathise, Jeff. Remember the fuckhead flatmate I mentioned earlier in this thread? He was watching the TV in the kitchen one day and I was making food and resisting the urge to garrotte him when a pissed off iraqi comes on the news and declares the invasion to be a "war against Islam".

"Bullshit", says the cunt, "if that's true then they're in a war against Christianity".

I'm not going to add anything to that comment, but I'm sure other people here will think of something suitable.

Haus of Mystery

16:40 / 06.12.04

huggles

Every time someone uses that fucking word a fairy dies.

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

05:20 / 07.12.04

Cunt ended up waking me up at 22:30 to bitch about his fucking baking tray having been used (wasn't me, and even if it was, the last thing I cooked was the last dregs of a bag of McCain oven chips, which is hardly nuclear fucking contamination. Boo-Hoo. Yet again he took the opportunity to try and pin a load of shite on me but I wasn't having any of it. He muttered "moron" under his horrible monotone breath so I yelled ARSEHOLE through the door. Tiny Tears starts weeping about how I'm yelling insults through a locked door (no shit son, I'm naked and I'm supposed to be sleeping). I called him the most pathetic human I'd ever met, which isn't so far off the mark. He started up a load of childish bullshit about I haven't got any friends (except, you know, the one I'm going to the fucking prodigy with today. And all the others.) and told me to hide in my room for the rest of the week (ooooooooooooh!).

What a fucking cumslinger.

06:35 / 07.12.04

Dudley, where do you live? I want to come round and give this guy a kicking.

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

06:44 / 07.12.04

I forgot the best bit! The best bit was when he whined at me that "now he'd have to go and clean his baking tray" before he could make his chips, "but [he] wouldn't be eating [his] chips, if I see what he means".

Yea gods. I feel so sorry for this turd's housemates next year.

08:58 / 07.12.04

how big is he? you should be at the physical violence stage by now really. engineer the following confrontation: curl out a real stinker-brown on his fucking baking tray next time you've got a meaty hangover, then stand there with your top off but your trews + shoes on, with a roll of ten p pieces in one hand and a boiling hot cup of tea in the other going 'what? fucking what? come on then what?'. it'll work.

17:53 / 07.12.04

Aren't people who say that South America is a bungle of countries that speak spanish, lack identity and have "bad economy" (whatever that is) simply *asking* for defenestration?
"Ooh, you know, SA has awful economy, but we in the US have great economy coz we truly, madly, deeply luuuuve money, and... Hey! Wha...?!?"
Vooosh - CRASH!! "AAAAAOOOOOaaooooooo....." (From tall building),or
CRASH!! "Eeeeekkk!!!" Thump.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

21:31 / 08.12.04

No, pacha. Those people aren't asking for defenestration, they are begging.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

22:49 / 08.12.04

After a day spent entirely indoors yesterday, waiting for a credit card that didn't come (apparently the guy couldn't find the house. Bit weird, really, seeing as he came round twice last week when I was out, neither time on the day I'd actually arranged the delivery for- I mean, I love my flat, but enforced hermitage can get me really pissed off with it), I this morning went to the Post Office where they (according to a card that came through my door WHEN I WAS IN saying "we can't deliver this stuff, there's no fucker to sign for it") have ANOTHER package for me. This is the third time I've been to collect it... and it's STILL NOT THERE.
Look, I know all this registered mail stuff is a security measure, but right now I'd trust any of Stokey's crackheads with my stuff before I'd entrust it to either Royal Mail or SMS.

CAAAAAHHHHHNNNNNTTTTTSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

Less searchable M0rd4nt

13:45 / 09.12.04

What the bloody fuck do you MEAN, "nada para chicas," you unspeakable filthbeasts? DIE!

pointless and uncalled for

06:14 / 13.12.04

What is the best way to kill the person who stole your bicycle?

Should I go old school and hand them a la horse thief, hunt them down at night in the style of a futuristic distopia or go for the east end favourite and dress up in a suit and tie and then kick them to death with shiny chelsea boots?

Either way there will be a crying mother by the time I've finished serving revenge.

09:26 / 13.12.04

Ensure the next time you buy a bike you fit a rusty spike under the saddle with a springloaded mechanism that fires the spike up once it has been heated to the correct high temmperature by a dynamo heating mechanism. Only you should know how to turn this off before using the bike.

10:28 / 13.12.04

oh bugger, sorry to hear that Imminent Danger. It's worth going to Brick Lane on Saturday - i know of two pwople who've got their bikes back. One by getting a policeman to come with him (the policeman was standing nearby) and the other by just brazening it out - going up and losing the plot, yelling about 'my bike' and the guy let him walk away with it. I'd take a big friend or two if you plan that one, though.

10:36 / 13.12.04

I didn't make the shortlist for the academic post here, because three smarmy advertising/PR execs who are probably failing in their careers decided to apply too. So what if their teaching and research record is non-existent and their research potential is crap. They've got extensive contacts in the communication industry and that's what counts here at this particular uni!

*sigh* Is 12:30 too early in the day to get drunk? Oh, wait, the students' union's closed for Christmas already. I can't even go get drunk. Today's shaping up to be the Monday from hell.

14:46 / 20.12.04

Ever since I handed in my notice my boss has taken great pleasure in handing me all the shitty jobs that are going, expecting me to take responsibility for them and then refusing to accept my comments about how the jobs could be done more quicker and efficiently.
As well as this despite not letting me take my time in lieu because "we're too busy" she has spent no time in the office while she does her christmas shopping and let other members of staff go home early. I'm counting the days till I leave.

Goodness Gracious Meme

00:16 / 23.12.04

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Furious and stressed.

My mad upstairs neighbour has been round 3 times in last 2 weeks. First to ask me to turn music (or rather "shit techno") down.

At 7 in the evening. She came in and recognised that it wasn't very loud, but i said i'd turn it down to save stress.

Then she came round about my kitchen extractor fan and so I've generally had it switched off.

Then just now:
apparently there's loads of noise, has been since 10pm when there's been *nothing* on in my flat continuously for that long.

I told her there was nothing I could do/suggested she check the other flats and said that she could send someone from the agents round to have a look at the extractor fan if she wanted. Which hasn't happened.

Fuckhead. She's also got it wrong, as I haven't played anything loud past the afternoon since she complained and she reckons there's been constant techno. (which I haven't heard.)

I have explained that my bathroom ex. fan switches off automatically so there really isn't anything I can do, apart from speak to the landlord.

Response: appaerntly I'm probably on drugs and am bullshitting her. And am a bitch.

(oh and I've never had a complaint before and have been here about 2 years.)

00:19 / 23.12.04

Are you perhaps breathing too loudly? It's usually exhalation that's the problem.

(Add %%s to taste.)

Goodness Gracious Meme

00:22 / 23.12.04

quite possibly. I'm waiting for her to come back and complain about the sound of the keyboard.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

07:03 / 23.12.04

Well, as she obviously can't actually tell whether there's any noise or not, you may as well have a party.

09:18 / 23.12.04

Why don't you go round & start complaining that her toilet flush is to loud & suggest she only flushes between the hours of 9am-9pm. You should also tell her that her snoring keeps you up all night & suggest she buy's some Snoreze.

If that fails let her know, softly, that you could kill her if you wanted.

09:49 / 23.12.04

I'm really trying to think of a "what would I do" response, but... I can't.

Is she actually mentally disturbed or just a berk?

Goodness Gracious Meme

18:47 / 23.12.04

I don't know yet, Boboss. She's seems bit manic, but I'm not in the diagnosis game. ('nesh, fancy popping over?

)

The Cherish was round here when she complained about the music and agreed that
a)she was fucking rude and b)seemed a bit odd.

Have spoken to agency, and they've been helpful (!), are going to contact landlord and say that I've been a perfectly fine tenant for 2 years/that the complaints seem stupid to them, so if she complains I should be covered.

That'll do to start with. If she gets properly abusive (she was pretty aggro) I guess I'll call the police. Am keeping a note of complaints/times etc.

Mummy, excellent suggestions. But you're so much better at that kind of thing, any chance of a visit?

I was thinking of putting some heavy drum and bass on repeat at a perfectly acceptable for normal humans volume when I go away for Xmas.

Failing that, do you fancy putting Mammoth on in my flat? Will cater. *g*

Goodness Gracious Meme

18:52 / 23.12.04

but *slaps self for unprofessional use of 'mad' and substitutes: poorly socialised /fucking rude/a bit bug-eyed*

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

13:19 / 27.12.04

Blech. Not so much rage as just... blech.

Post-Christmas malarkey (and spending my first Christmas without Biscy) and back to work tonight have conspired to leave me feeling glum. Really fucking glum. I know from experience this is a passing phase, and by tomorrow I'll be back to "normal"... but right now it sucks ass.

14:28 / 27.12.04

Hiya stoatie, chin up there. Just get through tonight and look forward to feeling brighter tomorrow.

22:27 / 01.01.05

It’s Saturday night and Southampton is fucking dead. I’ve been to Nexus, Lennons and even the Dungeon and all the clubs are fucking shut. I haven’t been clubbing for two weeks because I had to go home over Christmas and I also had to go up to London one weekend to see that Morrissey-bloke. And I’m one of those people that can’t go out on new year’s eve due to a chronic lack of friends. I don’t mind going out on my own 364 nights a year but if you haven’t got anyone to hug or kiss at midnight on the last night of the year then it’s best just to go to bed early. Clubs should be open for lonely people like me on new year’s day. Dammit.
And I know that Barbelith isn’t that kind of website but I will tell you what I’m wearing anyway. I’m wearing a Clash miniskirt (that’s right, a miniskirt with a picture of the Clash, the coolest item of clothing ever, I saw it when I went home back in April but decided not to get it because it’s only about two inches long and I didn’t have the guts, obviously regretted this decision immediately and then had to wait eight fucking months until the skirt and me were finally reunited - and we shall never part again, oh no). I’m also wearing pink fishnets and a dog collar. I shouldn’t be sitting in front of a computer all on my own. This is a bad start to the year. It’s even worse than my first night out in 2004. Back then I decided that it was time to move on, forget about my ex-boyfriend and get laid. So my new year’s resolution was to have sex with the first guy who chatted me up (don’t laugh, I’m kind of picky and I hadn’t had sex for two years - drastic measures were required). That didn’t work out because the first guy who chatted me up was gay and told me he just wanted to buy me a drink because he thought I was a great dancer. The second guy I managed to lure to my car, I even opened the passenger door for him but then he changed his mind because he didn’t want his friend to get a taxi on his own. The rest of the year was pretty shite too.
So, based on the first Saturday night of the year, 2005 is going to be crap.

Happy new year.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

23:49 / 01.01.05

I really really really really FUCKING hate Fred Phelps.

As some of you may know, I'm a recovering hex-user. I've been sober from cursing people to suffer random hideous misery now for just over three years *pauses for polite applause* but... I'm afraid I might... have a little slip *sniffles into tissue*.

21:31 / 06.01.05

Cool wet grass, cool wet grass, cool wet grass...

...AAARGH. Some people are just so self-obsessed. There's no point in 'having large breasts' if they're not naturally given, better to have small ones and love yourself for that. Personally, I think small ones are just as nice, far neater and you get to wear little tops without a bra and look casually sexy rather than like a porn star on her way to the cornershop. Big tits are not the be all and end all of life and sometimes they're just annoying.

And there's certainly no point in bragging about having big ones if they're fake because a/it's basically lying and you're only getting away with it because it's the internet so people don't know what you really look like or what your real story is, and b/you only let people down in the long run when they go for a good old feel and find nothing but oddly un-tactile plastic.

03:05 / 07.01.05

All right. To all the library patrons who keep giving me dirty looks when I'm wrestling with the inordinantly heavy book drop cart because they have to walk around me, let's make something perfectly clear: I am not in your way. You are in my way. If that book drop doesn't get emptied, the world may not come to an end, but you will doubtless whine if the latest trashy whatever novel isn't on the shelf for your grubby little hands. You can wait nine seconds for me to get out of the door. And when I hit the handicapped button for said cart, it is not so that you can waltz through without having to burn a quarter of a calorie. Now get out of the way and let me do my unpaid job.

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