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barbequotes

 
  

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Matthew Fluxington
15:03 / 13.07.03
MJ-12 Angry Men, on the subject of children's spelling bees:

Ah, yes, there's nothing like watching an eight-year old have a complete emotional breakdown because he failed to spell an octosyllabic word not used since Gibbon's Decline and Fall.

Let me taste your tears, Jeffy. Mmmmm, they're so sweet.
 
 
Bill Posters
15:52 / 14.07.03
Mr Disco: Oh GOD.

For once, we agree.

Haus: And the moral of the story? When blowing the whistle on casual racism, try to avoid casual racism. Next week, rocket science.

Much as I hate Haus and hir cheap PC point-scoring, I admit I had hysterics not only when I read that, but also when I suddenly thought of it while walking down the street this morning.
 
 
Cloned Christ on a HoverDonkey
00:31 / 17.07.03
Nick, in the Landmark/The Forum thread

"Alpha is borderline Charismatic in its original incarnation - Nicky Gumbel's own version; long weekends culminating in feeling the Holy Spirit moving in you, shaking and falling on the floor, hysteria and muffins."

The muffins being the climactic zenith of the weekend, of course.
 
 
illmatic
06:12 / 17.07.03
I've seen allegorical street mime, and it ain't pretty

A profound truth from Flyboy.
 
 
waxy dan
14:51 / 17.07.03
From Unencumbered upon hearing that wanking is good for you:

"I haven't stopped since I heard the news. A tad embarrassing at work or on the bus, but I figure my health's more important."

How true
 
 
Whisky Priestess
15:58 / 17.07.03
The chimp, in the Anniversaries thread:
"So, question: My first one is coming up. How do you like to celebrate, and in what ways have you celebrated in the past?

grant:
I kill and eat my mate.

It's worked so far.


Deadpan-tastic. Love it.
 
 
Jub
06:01 / 23.07.03
And yes I do take new clients by appt.

lilly touts for buisiness (KCC's?). Fair play.
 
 
Sax
06:05 / 23.07.03
Lurid: "I don't believe in hairdressers myself."

Whisky: "Every time you say that, Lurid, a hairdresser dies"


Whisky should be on the stage. Oh, hang on a minute...
 
 
Spaniel
16:55 / 25.07.03
The Runce on the brighton club-scene.

I suddenly had a vision of the same crowd in their forties enjoying finest phat-beats around the dinner party table.... And I nearly puked (well, not really).
 
 
Whisky Priestess
08:41 / 27.07.03
Alas, in the happines thread:

I have a very low pleasure threshold

Sometimes the perfect cup of tea can do it for me, and Flyboy makes very good ones.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
07:41 / 06.08.03
"I've watched Braveheart, I know my history"

afowotam (or something) indicts the MTV generation
 
 
HCE
15:46 / 07.08.03
Zorba the Bastard Greek

--Whisky Priestess
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
18:48 / 08.08.03
Skilliance Pig, in the thread on The Filth overall, Oh, yeah, and in general his characters need to stop saying things like: "I am blah, blah, blah, of blah formed in vats of distilled piss-time blah..."

'Distilled piss-time'!
 
 
gotham island fae
05:44 / 09.08.03
Sam Vega in person ne Nick's entire "I need no..." run in the Picture-Bitching thread.

I have not ever been as close to laughing out loud at work because of this board as I was, Friday afternoon. Re-reading it, just now, I was able to assume the honking, braying cacophanous guffaw that it deserved.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
16:36 / 09.08.03
Skilliance Pig:

Nothing wrong or BAD about new stuff, stupid phatbeater.

Put that on a TV shirt.
 
 
Bill Posters
16:15 / 11.08.03
Fans make people cooler. Cooler people are likely to wear less clothing than warmer people. People wearing less clothing may lead to impure thoughts. Impure thoughts may lead to sodomy. Sodomy may lead to dancing.

This is why fans are forbidden by God.


Count Adam on the evils of fandom, bringing much needed hysterics to the end of a very long, hot day.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
11:49 / 12.08.03
Haus, in the Outsiders thread in comics: (Incidentally, could we keep the rhetorical flourishes down a bit? They're rather loud...)
 
 
Quantum
14:18 / 14.08.03
Barbelith is more like a fruit salad absence of gravitas in the magick

True in so many ways...
 
 
Mourne Kransky
15:22 / 14.08.03
Hana_bi is the most disgusting barbelite:

i'd have to be more than a 'bit barmy' before i started eating my own arse jam

Such delightful cacolalia.
 
 
Baz Auckland
03:17 / 16.08.03
gentlething entity on 'Strain 121':

Great! Wonder what it would do in the human body? We couldn't kill it by autoclaving surgical instruments, and it would probably eat our haemoglobin, producing sudden-onset, severe anaemia, intolerance to sunlight, and a craving for human blood. The body would learn it couldn't kill the infection with fever, and would instead,as a defense, cool the body down to near corpse-like temperatures. The internal organs, gums, and flesh would shrivel from being starved of blood, producing extreme thinness, pallor, and the appearance of fangs. Victims would develop an aversion to garlic and other blood-thinning agents. Also, the brain would be oxygen-deprived, causing the victim to act in a bewildering fashion, from stumbling around muttering "Blood, blood..." to wearing black lipstick and listening to Marilyn Manson. I hope they're keeping a close eye on their samples, so as to spare the world this horrible fate.

((The above flight of fancy brought to you by sleep deprivation.))
 
 
—| x |—
06:31 / 16.08.03
SMatthewStolte from Panarchy's thread about what is important and/or what bothers us:

"I'm in favor of the environment, though."

Because, after all, if we are not in favour of the environment, then we might want to consider moving or perhaps we might suffer from an extreme and what must be a v. unpleasant form of agoraphobia, which perhaps keeps us living inside a dark and empty refrigerator box.
 
 
Zero Gravitas™
08:45 / 16.08.03
I've just spent my entire Saturday morning reading this thread and I have to say it's the most fun I've had since I first discovered my clitoris!
 
 
*
21:55 / 16.08.03
Hey! I got into barbequotes! Does that mean I'm not a newbie anymore?
 
 
*
22:26 / 16.08.03
"It was just like 911!"..If I hear one more idiot on the street say that im gonna start thinning the gene pool. No, 911 had numerous aircraft being crashed into buildings by terrorist killing many innocent people. This was a powerfailure, which had a lot of people hitting their shins on funiture. Get over it. 1-3 days of no power and people on tv are acting like its the apocalypse. Civilization has turned many into idiots.

Kegboy, in Blackout Tales
 
 
A
01:01 / 18.08.03
Now we're getting quotable quotes in this thread. Where will it all end?

I've just spent my entire Saturday morning reading this thread and I have to say it's the most fun I've had since I first discovered my clitoris!

Zero Gravitas- a couple o' posts back.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
01:28 / 18.08.03
A metaquote thread? Dear God.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
10:53 / 26.08.03
Aww, Hattie's Kitchen on Tikka Marinade-

Well, take your book and shove it up your flange, you torturous evil bitch.

Probably not the best part of the post but certainly the climax!
 
 
Baz Auckland
05:50 / 31.08.03
Jack Denfield on what to do to Stoatie's friend A:

Perhaps you could rent a giant mouse suit from a costume shop, and then break into his house at three in the morning and tie him to his bed, and wake him up and start screaming "You killed my children! You killed my children!" all the while slashing his legs with a great big butcher knife. He might think twice about killing and torturing animals after that.

...nearly killed me, that did.
 
 
Quantum
10:40 / 03.09.03
Sam Vega In Person on Barbehaviour;
I think it's the Barbelith method of dealing with... er... almost everything from a suspicious parcel to a bloke in a coma. You sit there and look at it for a bit, then you try bouncing up and down in front of it, then you poke it with sharp sticks until it does something. If none of these works, you assume it's either an elaborate piece of conceptual art, the intrusion into our consensus reality of a being of almost infinte wisdom, or a rock. Then you get bored and go away.
I nearly spit coffee over my PC, but restrained myself in time.
 
 
that
19:53 / 03.09.03
Jumping Jesus H. Christ, in response to fradge's tirade against flaming zombies in the zombie infection simulationthread.

Good point, well made.

But, at the same time...

Imagine sitting on the roof of your apartment in the early evening with your significant other, a carafe of chilled liebfraumilch by your side and some soothing soft rock on the boombox, both of you warmed by the love in your heart and the heaving mass of blazing, mindlessly bellowing undead on the pavement below.

Can nothing soften your militant position on the flaming zombie?
 
 
Baz Auckland
13:12 / 04.09.03
Not on Barbelith, but I had to post this:

Jack Denfield at Millarworld defending Jenny Everywhere:

Jenny Everywhere? I've heard of this, really the most cutting edge comic book concept around these days. Most of you will probably get into it in about three years or so. Wasn't the concept originally though up by the brainiacs of Barbelith? From what I hear those guys and gals are brilliant.

Jack rocks.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
15:19 / 05.09.03
Anna de L: *sniff* there are too many single fathers in this world.
E. Randy Dupre: I bow down to Anna's amazing sense of smell.

ARF! Randy, I bow down to your repartee. Go away and write a film for Katharine Hepburn, would you?

Also, the entire Do You Want To Insult My Kid thread, plus the Qalyn/Flyboy fight, had me fucking crying with laughter.

AAARRRGGHGHH! I'm going to eat your head, motherfuckerrrrrr!!!!!! and so on and so forth ...



(Um ... that was the point, wasn't it?

Wasn't it?)
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
17:16 / 05.09.03
No, that was not the fucking point. The next time I see that little punk I'm going to give him a chainsaw haircut.
 
 
Jack Denfeld
18:02 / 05.09.03
wheres the qalyn/flyboy fight?
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
18:45 / 05.09.03
Mostly at Livejournal. Links in the "Barbelith, Please Tell Me..." thread.
 
  

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