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Our Lady of The Two Towers
06:16 / 23.04.03
In a thread about how to rescue X-Men from the pen of Austen, after suggesting some changesvelvetvandal: the one sick thought in the mind of the Buddha finishes with

Say what you want, my friends, it's still better than Austen. Not by much, but it's better than Austen...

(which is what I'm going to say next time I'm being violated by a mutant polar bear on steroids...)
 
 
Smoothly
10:09 / 24.04.03
Just remembered this one...

Ganesh, in the 'Misspellings That Make You Mad' thread:

I get almost as snarky about the failure to insert commas appropriately, thus changing the meaning of a given phrase: "come on, Bill", for example, differs significantly from "come on Bill".

Dunno why this made me smile so widely. Something about 'differs significantly' I think. But most of all it made me realise how much better my grammar would be if my teachers had thought to use examples like that.
 
 
Rev. Orr
21:50 / 24.04.03
The mighty MJ-12 discussing home security in the breeding exam thread:

So you find it better to be a victim than a vigilante?

Well, I find that there is nothing in my home worth shooting someone over. But you may have a cooler stereo than I do.

The man is clearly Steve McQueen reincarnated.
 
 
bio k9
10:50 / 25.04.03
D in the Puma BJ Ad Thread:

I didn't say photography wasn't art, it's just poor, easy and boring art.
 
 
gingerbop
16:48 / 25.04.03
Saveloy,(on my success of the "lying game"):
But good work on your part there, Ms Least Sussable, 2003.
What a great title. Thanku!
 
 
Olulabelle
22:22 / 26.04.03
Xoc, for simply posting What he said.

After a post by Orr in the Breeding exam - what would you put in it? thread.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
05:23 / 30.04.03
The scoreline also still stands at Wasp 1 Galactus 0, in a celestial shocker. Clearly the Wasp is hardcore.

Duncan Falconer gives due respect to the V to the A to the N to the Dyne.
 
 
Jack Fear
14:24 / 30.04.03
Birds, do it, bees do it, soccer moms in SUVs do it.

The Haus, explaining the facts of life to Leap.
 
 
gingerbop
21:46 / 30.04.03
Elijah D Pressed
i have never felt any attraction towards a man, we are an ugly gender
Our Lady Of Guadalupe (Flowers Division)
but a good hatstand.
 
 
Elijah, Freelance Rabbi
22:16 / 30.04.03
yup, just goes to show you, i am a truly straight straight-man (ba dum cha!)
 
 
The Falcon
00:28 / 01.05.03
Cheers, Hausatron.

Flowers pulled this one out of nowhere: " I remember some guide that Simon Fanshawe wrote for gay teens about how the best way to come out wasn't to sit at the dinner table and declaim loudly "could you please pass the salt... to a homosexual."

It's the italics that make it.
 
 
Bomb The Past
15:48 / 01.05.03
To continue the theme... This one from Ganesh in the "Paul Hunter?? is he?" thread led to me being eyed curiously by geeks in a Leeds Uni computer room:

"I've noticed that Stephen Hawking is limp-wristed and has a suspiciously singsong voice. Is he gay?"
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
23:43 / 01.05.03
Never try the "pass the salt" thing - they always pass it straight to your father.

(...its been a while since I took my issues out of the boxes)

Kegboy unwittingly sums up the credo of Barbelith.
 
 
Baz Auckland
13:55 / 02.05.03
From Elijah's Fashion Trends:

Nietzsch E. Coyote: Can some one translate english-english for me what are bin liners?

el Zilcho: 'bin liners' = 'garbage bags'

Chairman Maominstoat and his ferrets of mass destruction: With a kind of terrorist edge.

That took a second to click in but made me laugh all the same.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
10:37 / 03.05.03
"I'm like Oscar Wilde with an arseful of dynamite and a rubber duck tied to his head! I'll have Chris Morris shitting himself in no time!"

Some day, I'm going to marry that Flowers...
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
11:28 / 03.05.03
In the 'Wacky Japanese' thread

Adamant: uhh, it's hands down sick. it's sick sick. it's totally sick. there's no denying the sickness of this. sick sick sick. depraved too!! don't like it? too bad, you're sick! sickos!

Kegboy:If you put Adamant's post to a funky beat it's quite fun for the whole family. Especially if you sing it in a Fred Flintstone voice.

Hee hee hee.
 
 
Cat Chant
07:32 / 05.05.03
"The thing to keep in mind is that goths are like normal people."

- Lurid Archive, deadpan as ever.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
08:41 / 06.05.03
In the HIV thread:

olulabelle
Mmmm and what is the 'dip-stick' test, please?

toksik
you dont want to know.

it involves the urethra...

Just for the way it makes you imagine toksik's face curling in disgust as ze says it...
 
 
Char Aina
02:04 / 07.05.03
through the archives i did skip,
and over this gem i did trip:


My U.S. ex had a t-shirt which said 'Nuke a Godless Communist Gay Baby Seal for Christ'.

Do they sell those?

from nick. in the hot topic thread.


i want that tshirt
 
 
Char Aina
02:25 / 07.05.03
A jelly-baby walks into a Urology Clinic complaining that he's picked up a Sexually Transmitted Disease.

"That's impossible," says the doctor, "you're a jelly-baby!"

"Yeah," says the jelly-baby, "but I've been shagging All Sorts..."



damn, but that had me a-giggling.


thank you mr pachyderm.
 
 
gingerbop
21:47 / 07.05.03
Not a quote on Lith but worthy of a mention-
On MSN tonight, said by the guy im seeing, and after a misinterpretation of "desc" as description:
"thats kinda freaky if you got off with me thinkin im a desk "
 
 
gingerbop
19:44 / 08.05.03
Baz aukland:
Clothes are so unecessary, although they are fun to remove.
 
 
Char Aina
03:05 / 09.05.03
Of course, you could attempt to induce a permanent psychosis in yourself through prolonged, heavy use of LSD, amphetamines, and so on - and if it turns out you have a genetic predisposition to schizophrenia, say, then you're laughing - or your auditory hallucinations are, anyway.


and so was i!
 
 
Shrug
22:35 / 09.05.03
On the other hand, if you're truly open to any suggestions, can I be the first to put in a vote for 'Chopping your bollocks off and starting a short-lived death cult based around the Harry Potter books'?

Or FUCKing SHIT UP!

-Our Lady of Guadalupe (Flowers Division)on a good way to spend a Summer.
 
 
illmatic
12:58 / 11.05.03
In the "Punk is Dad" thread.

Lolita Nation:Damn, I was hoping this thread would be for sharing stories about our Dads who would always wear Dead Kennedys "TOO DRUNK TO FUCK" t-shirts everywhere when we were little.

toksik: "my dad just settles for representing the tshirt through interpretive dance.

Toksik gives us a family moment.
 
 
Mazarine
01:35 / 12.05.03
Yes! Snape as bronze age terrorist, marking down the crapper heroes.

"Mister Mnestheus.....Mister Idomeneus, where *is* Mister Mnestheus? Very well. Twenty points from Achaea for tardiness."

Haus, in Late Shift 13. I laughed, I cried, I fell down, I'm going to have a really hard time reading the Iliad ever again without thinking of it.
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
23:16 / 12.05.03
Magneto is totally a separatist but he has a good hat.
-Mordant.
 
 
Rage
10:52 / 13.05.03
As patronizing as he is to me, Haus triggered hysterical laughter with his timing of-

"Our universal reference points are the Matrix, the Pixies, pizza and the Invisibles? We, collectively, need to get out more."
 
 
Char Aina
13:47 / 13.05.03
not the most groundbreaking opinion beaing voiced here, but when i read leap telling us that Personally I find the idea of gay sex stomach churning,

all i could think was that for his first time, a man with a twelve inch penis was proabably a bad idea.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
16:58 / 13.05.03
"Simon is continuing his Doomquest, but so far is having no luck. We learn that someone is following Simon. "

The action just never lets up in Guardians Of The Galaxy....

Waxy Dan points out that the summary of this action-packed comic strip sounds like the Radio Times preview summary of a mid-season episode of Star Cops.

Not Space Precinct.

STAR COPS
 
 
Jack Fear
12:53 / 14.05.03
Flux, in the Music:

I'd bet that a blind person with no knowledge of the Beatles could tell that the White Album and Abbey Road were recorded by a band in which every member had a beard.

Put on the White Album. Listen to the beards! You can hear them grow!

Laughed 'til I cried, and kept laughing 'til I stopped.
 
 
deja_vroom
14:16 / 14.05.03
Rothkoid: Auntie Matter. She's the slightly scatterbrained sister of your mother's who invalidates your existence when she touches you!

Childhood memories, mmyesss....
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
15:38 / 14.05.03
Ah, Jack, ye beat me to it. That may be the funniest thing ever posted to the 'Lith.

Not that I'd know.
 
 
that
06:30 / 16.05.03
impulsivelad, speaking of the new Matrix: "The action left me cold. It was amazing, for about five min., then it just got tedious. Every action sequence goes on for waaay too long... it's like oral sex that just 'aint happening' and it's starting to hurt."
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
08:33 / 16.05.03
In the Irony thread.

Nick Irony is like Goth. You cannot kill what does not live.
 
  

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