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Aw, c’mon—don’t be that waaaaaaaay...
I think there is a legitimate discussion to be had about the creation of safe spaces—and I think we need to be frank about the limitations we face in any effort to do so.
Some of those limitations are going to be intrinsic to the characters of the members—different posters will have different tolerance levels for conflict and brusqueness; different posters will have different argumentative styles—some more vehement than others—and differing levels of rhetorical skill with which to make their cases; some people just hate to lose, and will seek to redefine their own failures of rhetoric as the opposing side “moving the goalposts,” or “nitpicking over semantics,” or being milk-smelling shut-ins insufficiently acquainted with the ways of real live tigers and thus illegitimate in their opinions. This is ugly and unproductive behavior, obviously, and we do (and will continue to do) all that we can to discourage it. But we are human; we are of a nature to be imperfect.
We can try to accommodate posters of differing sensibilities, and we should—but perfecting human nature is beyond the abilities or the remit of any message-board. And we need to acknowledge that.
Some of those limitations will be intrinsic to the broadly-agreed mores of the board. We do not wish to be a safe space for the expression of all opinions, after all; at the risk of bringing Godwin’s Law down upon myself, I think we can safely say that if you hold the opinion that Hitler had the right idea and that six million Europeans Jews dead was too little too late, Barbelith is not, and has no desire to be, a safe place for you to express that opinion. Nor are we interested in being a safe space to say that gay folk are bound for eternal damnation. I’m sure you can think of other examples. In light of that, it’s clear that, in a sense, our status as a safe, nonjudgmental space is already compromised; not fatally so, perhaps, but still: the genie is out of the bottle, and it’s up to all of us to understand that compromise, to police it, to be vigilant that it not become the thin end of a wedge or the top of a slippery slope. To mix my metaphors a tad.
A thought: some limitations of the perception of safety are built into the structure of the board, aren’t they? There are statements made in all seriousness in the Temple, or Comics, that are treated with respect in their respective fora, that would be ripped to shreds in a flurry of piss-taking and fish-related puns were they made in the Conversation.
Lastly, and most importantly, we need to examine the relationship between “safety” and “responsibility.” Words have consequences; if there is one central rule to this place, one motto that should be carved into the marble arch over the gates to the glorious City of Barbelith, it is that. Say what you will, but be prepared to own it.
I find that openness about this sort of thing is the best curative, rather than brooding in silence. Private messages are a godsend for this. I don’t send many, myself, because I am very rarely offended; but when I receive a PM from someone pointing out that my gruff-curmudgeon persona has veered into the territory of the belittling and/or the obnoxious, I have invariably found it both chastening and instructive—and have always been filled with gratitude towards the person who took the time to tell me I was making an ass of myself. Not a pleasant experience, perhaps, but a necessary one; because how am I gonna get better if nobody tells when I’m fuckin’ up? |
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