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Misreadings

 
  

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Hydra vs Leviathan
12:24 / 11.10.06
the AFD forum

I read that as "the ADF forum". Which made me think "sure, they're a great band, and i was thinking about searching the Music forum to see if they had a thread, but a whole forum? isn't that a bit excessive?"...
 
 
Paolo
12:24 / 15.10.06
I was driving my girlfriend to Hemel Hempstead general hospital yesterday and saw that they had a Hangover ward. Fantastic, at last they are giving this unfortunate condition the sympathy it truly deserves. Will have to remember that when I break out the Sloe Gin.

Sadly, it really said Hanover ward
 
 
Whisky Priestess
15:47 / 23.10.06
I don't know why I just read the flavour of my Yorkie as Rubber and Biscuit, but I did.

It's actually the far more mundane (but admittedly tastier) Raisin and Biscuit.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
19:31 / 23.10.06
OK, so I AM drunk, but I'd have thought that would make the word "alcohol" easier to read, if anything.


Rather than thinking there was a thread called "Unusual Axolotl". My first thought was: there must be PICS! It should say PICS!!! An unusual axolotl thread would be rubbish without PICS".
 
 
Mistoffelees
08:39 / 24.10.06
I read heavy rain triggers strawberries (Erdbeeren) instead of earthquakes (Erdbeben).
 
 
Triplets
01:42 / 03.11.06
It is. And I quote from the Book Of Half Man Half Biscuit:

I read it as Haus Man, Haus Biscuit
 
 
Hallo, Paper Spaceboy
21:33 / 05.11.06
Fred of the dead, in the Universal Declaration of Member Rights thread:

If we ended up on Animal Farm, we'd be re-writing the rules to keep existing members from being banned for making anti-semitic remarks...

Which I read as "anti-semantic remarks." And had a very confused snicker for a moment.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
21:37 / 05.11.06
I read it as Haus Man, Haus Biscuit
New suit!
 
 
pureflook
09:59 / 07.11.06
I always read the sign "BAR FOOD", as "BAT FOOD"!

(analysis please...)
 
 
Elettaria
16:46 / 07.11.06
Assassination of Blind Piano Tuners. I know my last piano tuner repeatedly failed to sort out the buzz on that F#, but this seems a trifle vindictive of my subconscious, especially since he wasn't even blind. Maybe you could stretch a grammatical point and have the blind piano tuners carrying out the assassinations? Nobody would suspect them, and I hear piano wire makes a great weapon.

It's not a misreading, but as it's related I thought I'd share this gem which comes from my Israeli ex. Hebrew and English are very different, especially spelling systems and idioms, so he frequently made me giggle by, say, discussing his experiences during the Golf War. My utter favourite was the expression "coming out of the cabinet", though. Appropriate in so many ways. Apparently the correct expression in Hebrew translates as "coming out of the wardrobe".
 
 
gingerbop
23:47 / 10.11.06
There's a Greek Orthodox church on Mare Street, and on the sign where it says St Matthews bla de bla or whatever it is, but in Greek, I always think it says Barbannoy. On closer inspection, it does actually contain bannoy but with omegas and maybe another Greek letter, I forget. But it is uncanny.
 
 
COG
12:55 / 21.11.06
On the news sites I always read the DR Congo (the country) as Dr.Congo, (the hypothetical, racist TV show from the 60s about an African Doctor.

And what has Gazza ever done to the Israelis?
 
 
MattShepherd: I WEDDED KALI!
12:58 / 21.11.06
Not mine, but TMBG have a song called "Mr. Tambo and Urine Man," based on a line break in a Bob Dylan record cover when one of the Johns was young, and their assumption that Mr. Tambo and Urine Man were friends.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
13:21 / 21.11.06
I'm always slightly surprised that the Yanks don't spell it "tamborine" to fit with labor, color, honor etc.
 
 
electric monk
14:43 / 21.11.06
It's because we already use the words "tamborine" in another context. "Tamborine" in the American English describes the color resulting from the play of light on Jeffrey Tambor's forehead.
 
 
electric monk
14:43 / 21.11.06
F'r REAL!
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
19:34 / 02.12.06
A headline on today's Yahoo! news: Giants agree to eat less people

(Which turned out on closer inspection to be two headlines: "People eat less food when they eat slowly - study" and "Giants agree to 3-year, $18M deal with Roberts." How frightfully banal.)
 
 
Crux Is This City's Protector.
14:04 / 03.12.06
Mordant, that should have been quite obvious to you. Everyone knows that would have to be *fewer* people.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
14:17 / 03.12.06
It *was* Yahoo! News.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
18:29 / 21.12.06
I was seasonally entertained to see that toksik was loathe [sic] to even eggnog with it here

Engage, obviously.
 
 
Hydra vs Leviathan
18:54 / 21.12.06
Mr Tambo and Urine Man

Sounds like an obscure Golden (shower?) or Silver Age comics duo...
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
10:49 / 22.12.06
I had to do a double-take when browsing through CDs in a bookshop (where else would one buy CDs?) yesterday when I saw that the top edge of a double CD set of the Brand New Heaves really did say that, and on several copies too.

Not so much a misreading then as a comment by the printers?
 
 
Broomvondle
10:52 / 22.12.06
A friend of mine couldn't understand why they were selling 'martial aids' at the sex shop.
 
 
Hydra vs Leviathan
00:17 / 23.12.06
There's a shop near me called Femina's Hair & Beauty Products. Which i read as Feminist Hair & beauty Products...

and i just read a bottle label that said 100% Vegetable Oil as Irreversible Oil. What that means, i have absolutely no idea...
 
 
Hydra vs Leviathan
20:30 / 04.01.07
I just read Sarah Jane Adventures as Sarah Kane Adventures. Now that would be some twisted children's TV...
 
 
electric monk
15:14 / 10.01.07
This:

"If you wanted to figure out what was happening over the last four years, you would have been infinitely better off paying attention to their writing than to what the president or his top generals were saying."

became this:

"If you wanted to figure out what was happening over the last four years, you would have been infinitely better off paying attention to their writing than to what the president or his genitals were saying."
 
 
Hydra vs Leviathan
19:49 / 24.01.07
dominatrix printers

(dotmatrix)
 
 
Twice
08:47 / 27.01.07
DAMN. I missed a lot of that through going out walking and Sheena ordering a pizza.

Clever Sheena.
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
09:22 / 27.01.07
Yeah, but as long as she orders a vegetarian pizza, Stoatie won't mind.
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
19:18 / 09.02.07
I wonder why my receipt says "Multisave £0.98 from prison"? I wasn't away that long, was I? Oh, Morrison's - that makes so much more sense.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
13:38 / 14.02.07
Not a misreading, more a misunderstanding, today led me to believe I'd just read the most cosmic and confusing headline EVER.

The banner headline on Digital Spy reads "Sky cleared of overcharging Rapture". My first thought was- "fucking hell, they really will privatise just about everything these days, won't they?"
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
13:49 / 14.02.07
And if they don't privatise it, they'll televise it.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
21:41 / 06.03.07
I clicked on a thread from the IMDB forum at the bottom of a film entry and read the following message:

Register (it's free!) and read the opinions of millions of movie losers

It was actually lovers, but mine was more accurate.
 
 
jentacular dreams
14:44 / 08.03.07
I'm misreading everything today. And not in a funny way either. Words go briefly AWOL as my eyes pass over their sentance, often reversing the meaning of the post. Not only is it frustrating, it's helluva confusing. I might go back to the lab....
 
 
Ex
15:18 / 08.03.07
I'm sorry, beeline. I'm quite enjoying my early-morning headline squinting:

New Head of M&S To Be Al-Qaeda Expert

Because if you're running a classic, but recently renovated retail giant, with Twiggy as your figurehead - it's great to have an outside interest in world events.
...ah, Head of MI5.
 
  

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