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Misreadings

 
  

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Baz Auckland
01:36 / 15.06.06
In the thread about Loudmouths vs. Quiet Types I read:

I'd say I generally crush on moderators

...which left me thinking "That's odd. Are Barbelith Moderators a special type?
 
 
Whisky Priestess
09:39 / 15.06.06
On the news just now:

Cocaine Allocations

"At last!" I thought. "Not only are they legalising it, they're giving everybody a fair share!"

Alas, it was allegations.
 
 
D Terminator XXXIII
20:51 / 15.06.06
Now I'm embarrassed he cleaned my cock.
 
 
grant
11:17 / 03.07.06
All of a sudden, I thought somehow the World Cup had driven Haus into an irrational fit of loathing of Renee Richards.

I figured it out, but it was a tense few seconds for me.
 
 
feline
23:41 / 04.07.06
I just got a message to say that we were having 'Intermittent Network Outage' at work, which I read as 'Intermittent Network Outrage', which perfectly suited my feelings about it
 
 
silpulsar
04:19 / 05.07.06
this isn't a misread at all, but a rather lovely find in a computer store.

right there, above the connectors that change jacks from female to male or male to female, was a sign that said:

"gender changers"

oh my how we got a great laugh (and picture) from that.
 
 
stabbystabby
21:29 / 06.07.06
Jakegnosis 715*

See if you can get an in to a government auto auction, where they sell repossessed and confiscated vehicles for dirt cheap.

i read this as

See if you can get an in to a government auto auction, where they sell possessed and confiscated vehicles for dirt cheap.

I was imagining the werecar from Futurama....
 
 
MissGogo
13:02 / 09.07.06
On a nail studio in L.A.:
"Lisa Nails
men and women."
 
 
Chiropteran
12:50 / 25.07.06
This morning I have repeatedly (as in, "more than once, when I already knew better") read the title of the 100th Psalm, "All People That on Earth Do Dwell," as "All People That Feed on the Devil." Fortunately not outloud.
 
 
petunia
18:27 / 26.07.06
I was rather startled at the nonchalant way Mistoffelees brought up the matter of his friend's mum's death...

The liquid she tanked and that killed her motor was...water!

And while we talk of him, I always seem to end up reading mist's name as 'Mister Feelies'...
 
 
stabbystabby
00:35 / 28.07.06
i read I was served a small tumbler full of warm, spiced hare's blood, (from here) as I was served a small tumbler full of warm, spiced whore's blood.
 
 
bacon
21:43 / 28.07.06
in the classified section of the newspaper, under the category animals/livestock, i thought i saw black laborer

black labrador, black labrador

does this mean i'm a racist?
 
 
Chiropteran
22:15 / 28.07.06
does this mean i'm a racist?

Only if you called to inquire...
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
01:11 / 01.08.06
So glad this thread exists.

I read:


"He publishes the 'chaos majik' magazine Razorsmile (http://razorsmile.org) and works in a small electric oven as well as in a goetic working group."




It was of course

"He publishes the 'chaos majik' magazine Razorsmile (http://razorsmile.org) and works in a small eclectic coven as well as in a goetic working group."

I am Officially Braindead.
 
 
Mistoffelees
09:44 / 01.08.06
Yes! I finally had a misreading, too!

Seconds ago, I browsed Zorro del Fuego´s To beard or not to beard thread, and I misread Alex's Grandma´s post as In the post above but one, the bird seems to be trying to deliver stern messages that aren't really being beard.
 
 
Hydra vs Leviathan
15:17 / 04.08.06
Yesterday i misread the writing on the lid of a small box (presumably originally containing tissues or some such) in the bathroom of a friend (who also happens to be a Witch) as Baby Flesh (Fresh)...
 
 
Ticker
16:40 / 04.08.06
and works in a small electric oven

so absolutely how I am going to describe my job from now on.
 
 
Dead Megatron
13:39 / 07.08.06
I was watching George Bush on CNN just now, and there was this tag:

"Bush: seeking pressure on Hezbollah"

But, for a moment, I though it was:

"Bush: seeking pleasure with Hezbollah"

Sleeping with the enemy?
 
 
Whisky Priestess
09:45 / 10.08.06
An email just came in where the bottom of this line was slightly cut off:

The need for staff violence and awareness still remains paramount

Vigilance, alas.
 
 
stabbystabby
01:53 / 11.08.06
it's misheard, not a misreading, but there's an ad on Australian tv at the moment for a chocolate bar in which the dialogue ends with 'slammed together with a layer of choc' but i swear to god the announcer said layer of cock. I've watched the ad a dozen times and it still sounds like cock.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:38 / 11.08.06
I keep misreading the thread title Terrorism Outrage as Terrorism Outage, and imagining having to phone my landlord to tell him the terrorism in my flat's knackered.
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
14:18 / 11.08.06
Walking past a shop with a poster in the window advertising Would you like to experience the silliness of a Yoga mind? every day, I still have to do a double take and read it correctly as ...stillness....
 
 
Gypsy Lantern
15:19 / 11.08.06
There was that story in the news this week about Royal phone taps, and I could have sworn the headline of the Evening Standard posed the question: "Has Prince Charles been buggered?" rather than "Had Prince Charles been bugged?" There was a photo of him on the front page looking all pensive and troubled...
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
15:57 / 11.08.06
Looked at some of my paperwork and had to do a double-take. What I thought was "fan dogs back for speed" is actually "fax docs back for speed."

How disappointing.
 
 
nixwilliams
03:35 / 17.08.06
a friend was blogging some of hir experiences in new orleans, and off-handedly mentioned "the obvious rice issues of the area".

for a moment i wondered at my ignorance - over in australia i hadn't heard about the rice problems in the south of the USA.

... race issues. ahh, of course.
 
 
stabbystabby
03:58 / 17.08.06
maybe there's a budding Japanese import car modding scene there?
 
 
Whisky Priestess
11:39 / 17.08.06
From the book I'm reading at the moment:

"She heard something that sounded like a rifle shot, but it was just a cat backfiring."

No it wasn't. It was a car. Damn.
 
 
Mistoffelees
11:43 / 17.08.06
Are the cats still backfiring, Clarice?

 
 
Chiropteran
12:20 / 17.08.06
Another from the Terrorism Outrage thread - I inadvertently added a definite article to Evil Scientist's comment:

Obviously it's quite easy for me to avoid [the] bombs in my kitchen.

Just watch where you sit, and don't slam the cupboards.
 
 
Quantum
13:33 / 17.08.06
This from Dead Megatron; I have been too busy this weekend to think about sex.

I just keep misreading it as "I have been too busy this weekend to think about sex."
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
13:58 / 17.08.06
There's a café nearby which has a board outside it which I swore was advertising

Builder's breakfast
12 eggs, bacon, sausage,
2 toast tea or coffee
etc. etc.

Wow!, I thought. Was that for builders or body-builders? I know those paving stones they're busy re-laying on the High Street are heavy work ,but...12 eggs. Impressive. And how would they fit on the plate? Scrambled, fried - or as a huge omelette?

So when I went back to check, I finally noticed the slightly sloppily-chalked parentheses which surrounded the menu: (2 eggs, bacon, sausage, 2 toast tea or coffee).
 
 
Mistoffelees
11:35 / 06.09.06
In the news I misread the headline Suri gesichtet (Suri sighted) as Suri gerichtet (Suri judged, Suri condemned).
 
 
pointless & uncalled for
09:52 / 08.09.06
I keep going to the AFD forum and read the title of the first thread as Brasserie, which leads me to joyous thoughts of coffee, quality alcohol and complementary background music in low lighting.

Alas it reads Brassiere, where coffee alcohol and low lighting are rarely found.
 
 
Mistoffelees
18:23 / 06.10.06
Tomato Soup recipe:
(carnivore)

1 pound organic human bacon


xk´s recipe in the How weird is that? thread. It´s a humane bacon.
 
 
Hydra vs Leviathan
12:22 / 11.10.06
North Korea claims to have sexually assaulted nuclear bomb.

wtf?
 
  

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