Holy shit.
I hardly ever have knock-you-on-your-ass magical or mystical experiences. Last night, with the help of Salvia, I had a genuine knock-you-on-your-ass magical and mystical experience. It's still going on. (I hope that doesn't prove problematic over the next few days.)
Last night, very late at night, I smoked salvia in the same way I noted somewhere above in this thread, then staggered upstairs, shooed one of the dogs off the bed, and settled back to explore the experience.
At first there was a bit of a whirling sensation, along with rainbow imagery and an overall, nonfocused feeling of intensity. After a few minutes I became intensely aware of my ego -- the part of my mind that was sitting back and observing the experience (and making mental notes of what was happening) rather than simply participating in the experience.
I remembered reading that meditation was especially easy under the influence of Salvia, and found that with a bit of effort (or non-effort) I could let this observing part of my mind go. The more I let my ego go and tried to focus on the sensations of the moment, the more I felt a sort of energy rising in my body, from my abdomen up to my head. Finally I decided to focus on visualizing a ball of white light filling my entire head. The sensation got even more intense.
I then tried to "turn on" my aura. I'm not quite sure what this means, but basically I tried to light up my mental, astral, or spiritual body like a Christmas tree, thinking, "if any mystical or magical part of my consciousness is dormant or switched off, let's turn it on now." It seemed to work, and my astral body -- whatever that is -- seemed to fill with light. (It still feels that way, by the way.)
Then some part of my mind remembered that some people experience contact with entities while under the influence of Salvia. This has always been one of my weak spots -- despite a lot of magical and mystical work over the years, I never had had an experience in which I felt the presence of a distinct "other" in my mind. So I cast out my mind and asked "is anybody there?" I started to see a peacock-colored swirl of light. Mentally, I reached out and tried to widen the swirl by making the classic GD/Thelemic "parting of the veil" gesture.
Then something LOOKED at me with a single eye.
I received a number of impressions. First, it was female. Second, it was very, very green. Third, it was beautiful. Fourth, it was amused. Fifth, it was surrounded by several additional, smaller beings, which were looking at me with small glowing pairs of eyes.
This had an amazing effect I can't really articulate. I felt her attention like a shock, in every part of my body at once. It seemed to wake up every part of my consciousness.
I reached out again mentally, asking "speak to me. Do you have anything to tell me? Is there anything you want?" But the contact was fleeting.
I found that I could slightly prolong the sensation of contact by focusing on visualizing the peacock-colored light, or by visualizing prominent women in my life (mother, wife) and trying to let this female entity manifest through them. But while I sensed a bit more of her presence, there was no further message -- or any clear message at all.
Gradually I let the Salvia sensations shift into dream, and sleep. When I woke up this morning I felt energized but more or less down-to-earth.
Until I hit the gym earlier this morning.
I was walking on a treadmill mulling over the experiences of last night when I thought I'd see whether I could let my ego (or observing mind) drop while I was conscious and aware. To my astonishment, I could, and I entered a state that might, if I'm not mistaken, be considered kensho or savikalpa samadhi. I remained in that state while lifting weights, oddly enough, and I'm still there, although as I'm writing this it's fading a bit.
This feels very strange. I wonder if it will last. |
