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This is to see if I can actually create a reasonable description of a Salvia experience:
My experience was utter disassociation from waking life, really fucking scary but too confused and engaged to understand. I seemed to become part of the cosmic ferris wheel which I was watching at the same time. I say 'I', but really there was no sense of identity; just experiencing. Upon each spoke there was a tiny window into 'reality' (my friends faces as they were smiling at me, confused). There was also a huge sense of sickening humorous tragedy, as if the whole mechanism was dying, but laughing as it died (there was certainly something mechanical about it). I was attached to each spoke felt like I held a huge responsibility over the entire thing. I had to complete a tireless mission which involved catching a particular spoke in the wheel at a certain point as it turned, and I'd try but I'd miss it - until I realised the mechanics of the wheel meant it just wasn't possible and I was caught up within it, forever. As someone mentioned previously, there was a profound sense of having been there previously, before time and life perhaps. Reminds me now of Shiva's dance...
Lasted only 5 mins or so. I did it again but had a different effect I can't remember. Several times smoking pot afterwards I've felt the same scary 'welcome back' feeling, but only as a passing phase, coupled with a sense of dread and remorse.
Wheels, tunnels, streets, and stations seem to come a lot. But what does it all mean? |
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