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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

The Apprentice series 2

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22:31 / 06.03.06

Nah. Good in a different way.

19:54 / 08.03.06

Hmm, we haven't had enough of Jo crying manically, this episode. Yet.

19:58 / 08.03.06

OMG WTF ETC!!

Servalan is clearly keeping Jo for teh cameras.

20:02 / 08.03.06

Jo survives to please the viewing public. I think her team mates may smother her with a pillow during the night or beat her to death with a Babycham bottle in the swanky kitchen before Salan finally does the decent thing.

Excruciating stuff this week. I had to leave and hide in the kitchen at some points.

20:04 / 08.03.06

I think Servalan hates any female team-member who smiles at a man for more than 1.2 seconds.

20:05 / 08.03.06

Fuckin' 'ell, bad decision this week, Siralan.
Karen strikes me as a calm, intelligent, people person, and frankly I'd have really liked to see what she kind of team leader she would've made.

But no, let's keep the person with absolutely no self-control. And what the fuck was that *don't fucking let me down" comment to Alexa as they left the board room all about?

20:07 / 08.03.06

Obviously I meant bad decision in terms of keeping someone with yer actual business acumen.

20:11 / 08.03.06

Looks like Phantom isn't acquainted with our gigantomungus Big Brother threads.

20:28 / 08.03.06

What *is* it with Siralan and keeping the annoying ladies in? Jo reminds me of a former work colleage who was seriously unhinged. Another work colleague pointed out to me that Jo and the unhinged one have the same "crazy eyes."

Regrettable Juvenilia

22:00 / 08.03.06

At this point, all pretence that SAS is actually looking for an employable employee has gone out of the window, and he know appears to be making purely arbitrary decisions for the sake of good (read "borderline unwatchable yet riveting") telly.

I am still impressed at the range of just-swallowed-something-nasty faces the grizzly little dungeon master can make...

01:07 / 09.03.06

Slan is doing all this for greater good of Great Ormond Street Hospital, his favourite charity, presumably.

If you can't understand that, then you, Shaftoe, are not the sort of person he'd want on his f***ing team anyway, and as such, you're f***ing fired, mate.

Even though Slan might have seen some of his younger self in you, YOU AIN'T GOT THE BLEEDING, F***ING BOTTLE!!!

Hattie's Kitchen

07:13 / 09.03.06

And what the fuck was that *don't fucking let me down" comment to Alexa as they left the board room all about?

Yeah, I wondered about that too, the cheeky mare. Perhaps Jo thinks Alexa, being younger and inexperienced, can be intimidated into backing Jo up when they get back to the house - it should be fun next week watching the others' reactions when Jo comes swanning back. Ruth in particular looked like she was ready to get into a Krystal/Alexis Dynasty-style bitch-slap fest with the mad curly one.

I could not believe how much Jo fucked up this week and colour me gobsmacked when she was not fired, although the point has been made that she's purely there for good telly and that was borne out last night.

How frigging difficult was it to split the teams into 2 and give them 5 products each to chase down? They spent nearly 3 hours procrastinating over flipboards and strategies and by the time they left they STILL didn't have a clue what they were doing.

Poor Karen, I think, suffered from the same problem as James and Sebastian in the first series, in that they were too posh to fit in with Siralan's corporate culture. I was expecting her to last a lot longer though.

Syed did well last night, I have to say. And I loved Paul's fake "I'm getting married so take pity on me and give me a discount" routine.

08:03 / 09.03.06

Well Syed came across...OK, but it did seem as if the boys rather clowned up their task all the same - that excruciating scene in the dinner jacket shop for example, plus Syed's bizarre insistence on trying to source all the stuff from his East End 'manor.' With virtually anyone other than Jo in charge (eg Sooty, Basil Brush, a garden gnome or related) the girls would have cruised this by such a wide margin it would have been embarrassing.

As far as Karen's departure went though, I suspect it had more to do with what (Sran thinks) she does for a living than anything else. A friend of mine actually did used to work for one of the hated 'corporate law firms,' one, moreover, that was unfortunate enough to have Sran as a client. Apparently as clients go he was 'highly emotional,' storming out of meetings, announcing to pretty much anyone in the immediate vicinity, including this friend of mine, who was only a trainee at the time, who'd been there for all of three months, that he 'didn't like f***ing lawyers' that they were 'bloody parasites' that they were 'costing him f***ing money' etc.

I don't suppose it'll surprise anyone to hear that the real life Sran is a bit of a handful, but he does not like lawyers, no, he does not.

08:32 / 09.03.06

Yeah, I wondered about that too, the cheeky mare. Perhaps Jo thinks Alexa, being younger and inexperienced, can be intimidated into backing Jo up when they get back to the house

Maybe, I'm more inclined to think she was riding a wave of emotion - triumph against the odds, a sense of validation, affirmation of her abilities as team leader - and in typical Jo fashion she couldn't disconnect the emotions from her actions, hence the confused, rude, inarticulate, inappropriate comment to Alexa.

Oh, how I'd hate to work with her.

How do the rest of you feel about Mani? He's starting to really get on my tits.

Hattie's Kitchen

08:41 / 09.03.06

Mani is the epitome of Management Consultant to me - in other words, a smarmy "think outside the box, people!" type with absolutely no creativity. I find him to be fairly one-dimensional and rigid in his approach to the tasks. But he doesn't like Syed from what we've seen so far, and I think it's because Syed does have a bit of dynamism and spark about him, which throws Mani's, um, staidness into sharp relief.

08:56 / 09.03.06

His sales technique is sooo theatrical and false. If he tried pulling that shit on me he'd get a raised eyebrow and tongue in my bottom lip. I probably wouldn't be able to resist spamming him as well.

Regrettable Juvenilia

20:22 / 15.03.06

Now THAT is more like it. A total utter meltdown of a task, giving SAS the chance to vent some thoroughly justified (and shared by the audience) exasperation and contempt.

This year's bunch really do seem to be fundamentally less capable than last year's on a basic level - although possibly just because Sugar has got rid of a couple of the ones who seemed more competent to me, already, doh! I have seen (and been!) everyone from temps who hated their current position and were actively trying to get fired, to schoolchildren mucking around while they're supposed to be doing a project, fuck up less badly and less blatantly than Alexandra and the boys this week.

What really amazed me was how in the final grilling, none of the three was able to pick a single thing they could claim to have done well in the task, or come up with a justification for staying in the running based on something they actually did in the past two days. Instead you got answers like Sayid's risible "I'm a fighter, I'm a winner" nonsense, which was met with exactly the reaction it deserved.

It was impossible not to agree that all three of them might have gone, that two of them should have gone, but in the end it had to be Alexandra, who displayed the kind of incompetence which is made all the more teeth-grittingly annoying because it is coupled with this pathetic veneer of niceness that masks a complete inability to pay any regard or give any thought to any other human being ever. GAH. BE OFF WITH YOU.

20:33 / 15.03.06

Mani has the voice of an afternoon spot DJ.

21:19 / 15.03.06

They were using the Deadwood theme tune for background music this week. Ian MacShane to win! Next week's task: to run a brothel in a gold rush town.

Seriously, Syed nearly shot himself in the foot but I reckon Sir Alan, as with Saira and Paul last year, sees tv value in the arrogant fucker and likes his spark.

Alexa turned out to be Matt Lucas' cousin and might well have been the nicest contestant ever. But niceness butters no parsnips in the world of SAS. You have to find the parsnip's whimpering babies hiding in the back of the cupboard under the sink, yellow and quivering, and boil them for fifteen minutes. That puts a smile of Big Al's beardy face.

Barely a peep out of Jo this week, apart from her annoying Energiserchipmunk routine when Siral told them about their Oxo Tower treat. She was obviously finding herself amid the chicken giblets.

Hattie's Kitchen

09:05 / 16.03.06

Alexa has a first-class economics degree from Cambridge, yet had to be told by a bemused customer that she had given him too much change. Too funny.

Hattie's Kitchen

09:11 / 16.03.06

Oh hang on, it was:

"That's £9 change."
"No, it should be £11"
"So I gave you £6?"
"You gave me £9."
"So thats £3 to give you"
"No, it's £2."

I don't know which is worse.

09:14 / 16.03.06

Am I right in thinking they were selling their pizza for less than cost price AND DIDN'T NOTICE (or didn't care)*?

Totally agree about Syed's "fighter winner" bollocks. Shows like this specialize in people spouting vapid, empty rubbish, but that pillock really was taking it to the next level.

He managed a piece of Marco Pierre White's empire?

*Bobossino made watching closely a little difficult, but I ain't gonna let the little fucker stop me from getting my SAS fix

Hattie's Kitchen

09:17 / 16.03.06

Siralan (to Syed): "I hold you 100% responsible."

Syed: "But I gave 150%!"

Aaarghfaceknives etc. And Mani's "divergence convergence tangents" spiel had me biting into my cushion.

09:26 / 16.03.06

Nuke the lot of them from orbit - it's the only way to be sure...

09:29 / 16.03.06

When sitting on the train the other day I had to listen to some arsehole on his mobile discussing "migrating the business".

I might have to go and start a thread on business speak.

09:44 / 16.03.06

You should have just interrupted his conversation to tell him that he was a lightweight and was fired...

09:58 / 16.03.06

I did. Then I had security throw him off the (moving) train.

Hattie's Kitchen

10:06 / 16.03.06

I have to say I have a bit of a crush on Margaret Mountford, it's the strict schoolmarm/dominatrix vibe she gives off.

10:51 / 16.03.06

Alexa must have been totally freaked out when she was told to go. Moments earlier, Salan had just laid all the blame (100 per cent) on Syed so she must have been thinking "Hooray! I'm fine". You can actually see it in her flushed cheeks and wide eyes. Poor useless thing.

20:30 / 18.03.06

But she couldn't actually give SAS a single reason why he shouldn't fire her. The only thing she could do in her defense was deny that she thought SAS should get rid of her, and she couldn't explain why the other guys should be canned and not her. Gone!

I love watching SAS get mad and shouty though.

Mani would be such an irrittating boss to work for: the "I'm above it" type, leaving you to shred chickens for 13 hours while he swans off to the pub a long lunch with clients. "Somebody has to do it."

19:09 / 22.03.06

Chub vs Chub!

19:35 / 22.03.06

Please don't let it be Paul who's fired. I like Paul.

19:38 / 22.03.06

"You give me a pitch, and I will KNOCK THEM FLAT, it's what I do for a living."

OMFG!±!1 How much do I hate Mani?

19:44 / 22.03.06

Well, they didn't let Mani do it - which was a mercy. I like both team leaders this time. I want them both to stay...

19:47 / 22.03.06

Paul's team wins. Shock!

I'm the client and they got nearest to what I'm advertising. And you didn't!

Mani out! Mani out!

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