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Star Wars mythology surgery

 
  

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Jack Fear
00:08 / 02.09.04
And purple means what? That Windu is given to long, overwrought descriptive passages? Or is he just a Prince fan?
 
 
Benny the Ball
07:21 / 02.09.04
Anyone seen the free Star Wars supliment with Empire. The mess of discussion about the carbon freeze scene is interesting, but the thing about Jedi is terrible journalism (sorry if one of you wrote it). A struggle to be funny and justify why you were put in charge of bigging up the weakest of the OT.

Anyway, how do people feel about the guy that says "You rebel scum!" - his only line, in ROTJ. My friends and I as kids would take great pleasure in rocking on our heels and saying "You rebel scum!" at every opportunity. Also we would walk home from school, stop off at some wasteland somewhere and say 'let's play Star Wars' - if anyone said "I'm Luke Skywalker" everyone else would say "we're sandpeople" and beat them up - hated Luke.

What little incidental moment of the films has stuck with you most?

(oh just remembered, mines a toss up between rebel scum and "Han old buddy, don't let me down!" both ROTJ, which is odd as it's my least favourite of the OT films)

Also is it Han, (to rhyme with can) or Haaan (to rhyme with barn)?
 
 
Lord Morgue
07:41 / 02.09.04
One source has it that the red Sith blades are derived from synthetic crystals, preferred because they, on occasion, can "break" another lightsabre blade.
I liked all those dialogue touches that Lucas' friends put in to Empire- laser brain, kiss a Wookie, scruffy nerf herder, Yer Royal Highness, IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
Compare with Lucas' original dialogue- "I thought I recognised your foul stench, Moff Tarkin!" mmm. Where's the cheese?!

Hold on- the lightsabre Ben gave Luke, Anny's old sabre, was blue! I'm sure of it. Did Loose-Arse go back and fuxxor with that, too!? Oh MONKEYFUCKER!
I'm sure the first green sabre was in Jedi, to stand out against the blue sky. Is there some cosmic law that states you can't have two guys fighting with the same colour sabre? Eurgh. I really want the unfucked original on DVD, now.
There should be a Wookie called Boomshakkalacca.
 
 
miss wonderstarr
08:01 / 02.09.04
It's "Harn"... I think Lando is the only one who pronounces it wrong, as "Hann".
 
 
FinderWolf
14:13 / 02.09.04
>> I wish I were making this up...

story is at http://www.brudirect.com/DailyInfo/News/Archive/Sept04/020904/wn02.htm

Jedi Academy opens in Romania

Bucharest - A Star Wars acedemy that teaches about the religion of the Jedi, use of the light sabre and speaking in Wookiee has opened its doors in Romania.

Adrian Pavel, who runs the country's Star Wars Club, decided to found the Jedi Academy after getting so many questions from fellow fans on how they can be more like their heroes in the Star Wars films.

He told local daily Libertatea: "We have meetings and lectures, and we dress like Jedis, but this is no longer enough. We'll soon learn how to handle the light sabres in academy classes.

"The academy is open to everybody. There is a quiz with 100 questions that will cover even the darkest aspects of the Star Wars phenomenon that needs to be done in 24 hours. Anyone who passes quiz will have a place in the Jedi Academy."

The academy is also offering special modules for true devotees, like cooking some of the dishes seen in the Star Wars films including Wookiee Cookies, Princess Leia Danish donughts, Sand Trooper sandwiches and Twin Sun toasts. -- Ananova News
_________________
 
 
Professor Silly
15:06 / 04.09.04
...shoot, now someone has to go back and watch the original.

I swear up and down that Obi-Wan had the blue sabre and Luke had a green one.

Of course, maybe Lucas did change it.

I think my friend has the original version of VHS--I'll call him today and see what he can dig up.
 
 
Lord Morgue
16:24 / 04.09.04
It may have been an off-turquoisey colour...
Speaking of lightsabres, there's a few theories on what the fuck they are- there's the "attenuated laser", "closed circuit electrical arc", "plasma bottle", "focussed Force powered by the Jedi wielder", "energised filament", etc, the best model so far in terms of explaining the effects seen in the movies is the "virtual light" theory.
So, what could stop a lightsabre? Anything with a forcefield (post-crisis Superman; Personal force fields from Dune; Hybrid from Rom, Spaceknight had a forcefield that protected his atomic structure, so a lightsabre might go right through him like molasses), stuff with funky molecular bonds (pre-crisis Superman, Adamantium, Vibranium, Captain America's shield, collapsium, neutronium) , high-density metal with a lot of free electrons would slow it down a bit- like the bulkhead on the Trade Fed ship in Phantom Menace. (or Frank Miller's "proton-heavy alloy" from his issue of Spawn?)
Vader's armour is presumably something like this- I don't think it's cortosis, cortosis is supposed to short out a sabre and make it turn itself off. Red Sith lightsabres made with synthetic crystals are supposed to be able to "break" a lghtsabre.
 
 
miss wonderstarr
16:42 / 04.09.04
bloody hell Morgue I have just read your post here and on my WTC in Movies thread, and you are a true fanboy in an impressive way. I bet you didn't have to look anything up once during those two posts.
 
 
Benny the Ball
17:04 / 04.09.04
I always presumed that the power of the sabre was connected to the jedi using it, hence ben's failing lightsabre during his last fight with Darth Vader. I think also that both Luke and Ben'd sabres were blue - they never actually had them both open at the same time so no trouble with mixing them up. All my Star Wars videos are in storage, so no way of checking, but's that's how I remember it. But I ain't no Lord Morgue, he da man!
 
 
Benny the Ball
17:08 / 04.09.04
Here are some images, they both seem to have blue lightsabres.

LINK
 
 
Lord Morgue
11:55 / 05.09.04
Sigh. It's true. All the links were already in my favourites folder, too.
And just to drive the last nail in my nerd-coffin, here's a good resource I found for tracking who got whos sabre, different models, and evolution of personal style in construction.
Draws from E.U., books, comics AND computer games, so if you got a problem with that, BOLLUX!
Luukesabers

Oh, hey, this site also states that when growing a synthetic crystal for a lightsabre, like the Sith did, or as Luke had to when he built his green sabre, there's the option of introducing a midichlorian-heavy organic compound that links your sabre to the force, enabling "power stunts", like in the Star Wars Galaxies game. Makes for a more personalised, "magic" weapon, so you can pull off weird shit like Qi Gon Jinn melting the Trade Fed bulkheads without burning his arm off.
 
 
Triplets
21:15 / 05.09.04
Ah, so Anakin had a blueish-turquoise sabre at the beginning of A New Hope, which obviously is gonna be Anakin's colour for most of Revenge of the Sith. Spoilers: he gets a red one towards the end.
 
 
miss wonderstarr
21:57 / 05.09.04
Why would Anakin get a red one? What's supposed to happen to him in this film then?
 
 
Char Aina
22:04 / 06.09.04
its all crystals in the hilt added when the saber is being built.

I swear up and down that Obi-Wan had the blue sabre and Luke had a green one.

the green one was the one luke made for himself, the blue one was the one anakin used to use. ben's was blue.



in the KOTOR game, the colours correspond to the type of jedi... guardian, consul or sentinel. according to the geezer who trains you, its only a matter of showing others your chosen discipline.
sith lords and red... well, i guess its a badge of dark pride, having a connection with the raw power of their anger and hatred.
i currently use two long red sabers in that, and it hasnt made any difference so far.
 
 
Char Aina
22:05 / 06.09.04
yeah... that link prolly tells you all that, huh?
 
 
Benny the Ball
23:45 / 06.09.04
Okay, here's something that has bothered me since the whole cloning thing - the line "aren't you a little short to be a Stormtrooper". The way Leia delivers that line, it implies that there is a vetting process, a minimum hight for people to in order for them to serve as stormtrooper's. However, if cloned, they would all be the same height, right? So, Han, knowing a thing or two about the empire (he used to work for them, am I right, or so a history of the Star War's empire I remember reading said, that's how he met Chewy, when the walking carpet was being ill-treated by an officer, and Han stepped in, losing his job, whatever, but gaining a hetro-life partner in Chewy) would have known that their plan of dressing up as troopers would have stood out a mile, because of the height thing, also the voices would be the same, so when he speaks whilst in uniform, he would give himself away.

Basically it's a case of shoe-horning the new crap into the old goodness, yes?
 
 
wicker woman
06:00 / 07.09.04
All I can think of is that the cloning facilities get shut down for some reason and they start recruiting non-clones to be stormtroopers. Yeah, there's a lot of clones there to begin with, but I imagine galactic-level conquest would tend to stretch even those resources a bit thin.

One of the standout moments in the OT for me is (again, from ROTJ) where the speeder bike wraps itself around the tree...
 
 
Lord Morgue
08:36 / 07.09.04
I thought the clone army was a one-off job, and conscription filled out the ranks after that.
There was an old short story about the trooper who said "Look, Sir- droids.". He became disgusted with the way the Empire was treating alien races, and by the time Han, Luke and Ben were making their run to the Falcon, was angry enough to shoot his commanding officer, who was drawing a bead on Han at the time, and walk off. Not something the engineered-to-obey clones would do.
Hmm, it isn't pointed out much, but the rise of the Empire was pretty much a Human conquest of the galaxy, over the multiracial Republic and Senate. The Nazi-like racism of the all-human stormtroopers only came out in Splinter of the Mind's Eye, of all the E.U. I've read, which really isn't much. Funny that of all the obvious parallels to the goose-steppers, Lucas never made them obviously bigoted.
Ha- some fuckwads in America thought the clone army was a metaphor for Mexicans invading America. Stupid cunts- does the name Temuera Morrison sound even remotely Mexican? Although it could be seen as an army of Kiwis coming to Australia and registering for the dole. Joking! Don't hit me with that pool cue. Now, an army of Jake the Muss, with laser pool cues- that's scary.
 
 
Loomis
10:11 / 07.09.04
And purple means what? That Windu is given to long, overwrought descriptive passages? Or is he just a Prince fan?

Now that would be class. The camera pans across the jedi council and there's Prince floating on a purple cushion looking immaculate. Now there's a man who can bring balance to the force, not to mention a healthy does of funk. "My name is Prince! I am a jedi!"
 
 
Benny the Ball
10:34 / 07.09.04
I have only the vaguest momory of Splinter in the Minds Eye, having read it when I was a kid when it first came out, but have just bought a copy from Amazon for the princely sum of £0.01p - bargin
 
 
FinderWolf
14:17 / 07.09.04
I used to have Splinter of the Mind's Eye!! It was cool!
 
 
Lord Morgue
13:10 / 08.09.04
And of all the things he could have changed in the special editions, why didn't Lucas get rid of the hand-puppet wampa shot? For pity's sake, the way both the top and bottom halves of its head move, it looks like Kermit the Frog. "And now the amazing Miss Piggy! YAAAAAAAAY!!!"
 
 
grant
18:50 / 08.09.04
1. That "virtual light" page? That's a dude who invests waaaaay too much in this stuff. And who doesn't really know what he's talking about (for instance, a fresnel lens isn't opaque -- it's basically a fat parabolic lens "telescoped" together in concentric circles).

2. does the name Temuera Morrison sound even remotely Mexican?

This is taxing my half-remembered Spanish, but I think "te muera" can be translated as "you will kill yourself" (te=self-reflexive "you, yourself", muera=future tense of morir, "to die")

Actually, looking back at that, I think that future tenses do something different for irregular verbs like that. But still, it could be Spanish, yeah.

Babelfish leads me to believe it's not future tense, but command tense -- You die!
 
 
FinderWolf
16:40 / 09.09.04
from Cinescape.com -- this is just too fucking much....
I guess I should be happy he listened to the fans, but even so, I'm just so sick of Lucas.... *sigh*

-------

As the clock ticks down to the September 21 release of the STAR WARS TRILOGY on DVD, USA Today reports that the film's director, George Lucas, has once again altered the scene where novice bounty hunter Greedo confronts Han Solo in the Mos Eisley cantina. As fans of the trilogy know, in the original 1977 version Solo is the one that shoots first, killing Greedo before the green-skinned Rodian manages to get off a shot. In the 1997 Special Edition version of A NEW HOPE, Greedo is the one that tries to shoot Solo first but the alien's shot misses his target even though he's firing at point blank range. Solo shoots his blaster after Greedo's shot misses him and kills Greedo.

Now Lucas has tweaked with the scene for the third time, perhaps in an attempt to appease vocal fans that disliked the changes made to the film in its 1997 version. According to the newspaper, the scene in the DVD version of the film now shows both Solo and Greedo exchanging blaster fire at the same time.

Other alterations confirmed by USA Today include the addition of Hayden Christensen in spirit form at the conclusion of RETURN OF THE JEDI, the addition of Ian McDiarmid playing the Emperor in the character's brief appearance in THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK and an upgraded CGI Jabba the Hutt model used in a scene in A NEW HOPE.
 
 
Warewullf
16:48 / 09.09.04
the addition of Hayden Christensen in spirit form at the conclusion of RETURN OF THE JEDI

Of all the rumours I'd heard, that one seemed the most ridiculous. And yet here it is.

...
 
 
Jack Fear
16:58 / 09.09.04
Jesus wept...

 
 
miss wonderstarr
17:28 / 09.09.04
What a shame for the guy who played the old Anakin Skywalker -- Lucas really pisses on these poor actors, like he did on the one who played the human Jabba in the original footage for ANH.
 
 
Spatula Clarke
21:06 / 09.09.04
I still struggle to understand how Luke recognises Anakin if that one's true, given that the only time he sees him alive he looks like the rubber on the end of an HB pencil.

And does the mention of a new CG Jabba model mean that Solo no longer demonstrates his uncanny knack for self-levitation when he suddenly hovers over where the Hutt's tail should be? For shame.
 
 
Foust is SO authentic
21:40 / 09.09.04
Hayden Christensen in the OT.... that is the worst thing I have ever heard.
 
 
fluid_state
23:42 / 09.09.04
let me be the first to properly caption that pic:

"I was cured, all right."
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
09:12 / 10.09.04
So! (Briskly rubs hands together). Who's coming to Romania then? Morgue?
 
 
Lord Morgue
10:17 / 10.09.04
Romania? What's in Romania? Are there vampires? Sexy vampires? Can we annex it to Moldova and keep the vampires, and any pastries we find?
 
 
FinderWolf
19:50 / 10.09.04
I found this on a message board discussing the story about Mark Hammill discussing Episodes 7, 8 and 9...people were talking about something mentioned in the Star Wars novelization (of A NEW HOPE)...what are they talking about?!?!?

>> The Star Wars novel refers to "The first saga, The Journal Of the Whills as taking place before Star Wars (and as having Princess Leia in it as an adult, for that matter)...
 
 
Lord Morgue
01:47 / 11.09.04
The original Star Wars novel was pretty much based on a pre-shooting script and should be taken with a lomtik of salt. Silver stormtroopers, jewelled lightsabres...

O.K., anyone read Robert E. Mills' "Space Quest"? Came out in the 60's, apparently, and has: a hero with psychic powers, tutored by an old mentor, a princess, a dashing space pirate captain (Red Ryan) with a catlike first mate (Purpur) given to growling and hugs, duelling with swords whose blades are energised wire frames, an overtalkative droid constructed as a set of shelves, and a black-armored, caped reptilian main villain (Lord Blorg) in thrall to a cosmic force of evil (Ylang-Ylang) at the center of a wandering evil black planet. Which explodes.

LUCAS! YOU GOTTA LOT OF 'SPLAINING TO DO!
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
10:41 / 11.09.04
So, are they going to reshoot the scene where Luke helps Anakin take his armour off as well with Hayden, or are they just going to dub over that final scene by the fire with Hammill saying "wait a minute, who the fuck are you?"
 
  

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