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Transformers: the Movie (dir. Michael Bay, 2007) - SPOILERS

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Spaniel

09:17 / 21.12.06

We're a few hundred posts in and no-one else has an opinion on this? Weird.

Benny the Ball

11:15 / 21.12.06

Looks like typical Michael Bay film - trailer showed nothing, had a couple of stupid pointless lines of rubbish dialogue and then quickly became a car wank-fest and chase and smash - not in the least bit excitable.

Spaniel

11:29 / 21.12.06

I'm under the impression that Bay is the only person capable of making a Transformers movie. Him or Bruckheimer anyway.

It needs someone who lusts after vehicles and guns and metal. That trailer lusts after vehicles and guns and metal.

CameronStewart

13:33 / 21.12.06

I think it looks cool.

I can't really say anything else because at this point, all that there really is to do is go into detailed pedantic fanboy bitching, and I don't really care about that stuff.

Lama glama

13:42 / 21.12.06

'splosions! Yeeeaaah! My only experience with Transformers is Saturday morning reruns of the original American cartoon and the 2004 video-game. As long as the movie features the obligatory Optimus Prime/Megatron grapplefest over a volcano, I'll be a happy cinema-goer.

tickspeak

14:37 / 21.12.06

I'm glad The Strokes's people got that t-shirt into the movie. That'll really help it speak to The Youth, who I hear are all into The Strokes these days.

Spaniel

14:48 / 21.12.06

Eh?

Dead Megatron

15:48 / 21.12.06

It needs someone who lusts after vehicles and guns and metal. That trailer lusts after vehicles and guns and metal.

That sums it up perfectly. Let's be honest, no one is expecting this to be DA MOVIE OF DA YEAR. All it needs to be is full of FX, epic fights, and at least one pre-final battle philosophical debate between Megs and Optimus-Man.

The cheesy one-liners, the clichés, the comic relief (which seems to be the "Turistas" soldier guy so far), the stupid, unnecessary romance,all those things are inevitable ad we must make our peace with it.

The only grave mistake so far is the fusion-canonless Megatron, but, hey, at least this is not Transformers Armada (I hope)

Spatula Clarke

16:08 / 21.12.06

quickly became a car wank-fest and chase and smash

Ever encountered the franchise before?

Feverfew

16:16 / 29.12.06

There's a four-pager in this month's Empire about Transformers: The Film, which is pretty much puff piece (although, hey, at least Josh Duhamel is getting acting jobs outside of Las Vegas) - but it could be said to be worth it for this quotation:

"A Key set-piece in the movie will see some of the Autobots trying to disguise themselves around Spike's house, in order to avoid detection by his parents. Apparently, it was the comic potential of this scene that persuaded Bay to sign up."

I) Comic Potential?

II) Also, for lateral thinkers, how about a Buffy-Transformers crossover? "Bloody hell, lots of robotic wankers around here!"

Ticker

16:31 / 29.12.06

"Bloody hell, lots of robotic wankers around here!"

My mind had Spike voice this. It.Was.Good.

FinderWolf

16:53 / 29.12.06

This movie is worth it just for the running gags on the always-entertaining Aint It Cool News Talkbacks, including "Damn you Michael Bay!" and "FLAMES ON OPTIMUS = WHATEVER THE HELL FANS WANT TO BITCH OR JOKE ABOUT" (following up on old AICN running gags as "Gordon has a beer and cheets on his wife" from someone complaining - and misspelling - about Gordon's unethical behavior in an early draft of the never-produced BATMAN: YEAR ONE screenplay that Arnofksy was supposed to work on with Frank Miller years ago).

The Falcon

13:44 / 01.01.07

Hah, the girl's carrying a My Little Pony at the end there. A fine movie that was too, the Ooze and all that.

Regrettable Juvenilia

14:27 / 01.01.07

I thought the Ooze was in the Care Bears movie? Or even the sequel?

Triplets

15:04 / 01.01.07

The Ooze was in Power Rangers: The Movie, old farts.

ONLY NICE THINGS

15:26 / 01.01.07

Does the title of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze count as a SPOILER?

FinderWolf

13:50 / 18.05.07

All kinds of news and new trailers and footage up about this - like this one.

Coming very very soon - time for a bump!

Keith, like a scientist

14:10 / 18.05.07

This is gonna be so horrible, but I still can't wait to see it, haha. The TFs look pretty wicked and I've always wanted to see someone do CGI giant robots.

Triplets

14:21 / 18.05.07

They kept the chuhh-chkk-chaa-cha! They kept the chuhh-chkk-chaa-cha!

Boygasm!

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

14:46 / 18.05.07

Did someone just buy Bumblebee at a used car lot?

I gotta say, as bad as I fear this movie will be, I am pretty stoked.

Ticker

15:01 / 18.05.07

I'm basking in the afterglow of the newest trailor.

Girlgasm!

I think I SQUEED so hard my head hurts now.

HURRY UP JUNE AND GET OVER WITH I NEED TO SEE THIS NOW.

FinderWolf

15:14 / 18.05.07

Yeah, the sound effect for the transforming is pretty cool. And the transforming-while-moving shots of Starscream look terrific.

The trailer has my hopes high for a really fun movie.

Seth

16:02 / 18.05.07

I think this is going to be great fun. The trailer was awesome. I think it's going to be massive worldwide. A phenomenon.

But I have a vested interest in this doing well.

Beacuse if it does, Hollywood will be chomping at the bit for other giant robot stories. And it will be prepared to invest bucketloads in them.

And where does one turn for more giant robots?

Well, there's only one country, and only one medium.

And only one two-billion dollar worldwide phenomenon that is already in development with Weta attached and three as-yet-unnamed A list directors begging to make it.

If you're going to make a huge robot spectacle that has a chance of rivalling Lord of the Rings for the cinema experience of the Noughties there really is only one text to look to after Transformers. It's just a case of who gets to do it.

MattShepherd: I WEDDED KALI!

16:05 / 18.05.07

...Tranzor Z?

This Sunday

16:08 / 18.05.07

We talking Cannon God Exaxxion or Go-Bots here?

There won't be any Hollywood Eva action until past the date we're all complemented, anyway.

Seth

16:11 / 18.05.07

I was actually thinking of Robot Jox.

Triplets

16:35 / 18.05.07

Bollocks, you all mean Robotix.

Spaniel

16:40 / 18.05.07

Kick his fucking arse Optimus!

Geekgasm

Spatula Clarke

16:49 / 18.05.07

I just used the exact same word on another board to describe the effect that trailer had on me. There's not much doubt in my mind that this is going to be a really fucking great popcorn blockbuster flick.

Seen some movie-related toys in the shops this afternoon. 'Movie preview' series. They look interestingly alien in vehicle form, but that also means that they miss the point - why would you want a Transformer toy that transforms into something completely unrecognisable?

This Sunday

16:54 / 18.05.07

Wait, the vehicle-forms aren't on-model at all? That really does miss the point.

But with the texturing business, the little spikey bits, it's been hard to imagine how the toys would transform into smooth-exteriored cars and jets.

Ticker

16:56 / 18.05.07

Okay watching the new trailer *again* I can most assuredly say I have a child's religious experience associated with seeing Optimus Prime all live actioned out.

I mean I know it was intentionally designed with Aslan but my big fuzzy heart love for Optimus Prime is HUGE.

This Sunday

17:24 / 18.05.07

During a writing workshop a few weeks ago, after suggesting that when character X runs from a party to the woods in tears, Jesus comes and comforts him - and having my first suggestion that Jesus be replaced by X's girlfriend - I asked without considering the legal or logistic ramifications, if Optimus Prime could do it. It'd definitely have more of an emotional impact for me.

I'm going to have a hard time not embarrassing myself in a theatre when Starscream actually does anything.

And, y'know, eighties and giant robots... maybe Carl Macek can have that live-action Robotech movie he periodically drums up about. I'd watch it. I'd watch it and sing about thirteen Junes, even.

Spatula Clarke

17:36 / 18.05.07

DD: Wait, the vehicle-forms aren't on-model at all? That really does miss the point.

Nah, that's not quite it. I didn't explain properly. They're in their Cybertronian, pre-Earth forms. Images here. They're crappy, really - I bought this latest Bumblebee instead. He's pretty bleeding cool in the plastic, even if he does look like he's got a Durst chinbeard.

Ticker

18:45 / 18.05.07

I'm going to have a hard time not embarrassing myself in a theatre when Starscream actually does anything.

I'm beginning to suspect you and I were separated at birth...
I can't tell if I wanted to be Starscream or marry him when I was young. I think it was somehow both like an alchemical marriage. Either was fine as long as I got to be an evil double death dealing flying machine of doom.

And, y'know, eighties and giant robots... maybe Carl Macek can have that live-action Robotech movie he periodically drums up about. I'd watch it. I'd watch it and sing about thirteen Junes, even.

I diligently video taped and catelogued all the Robotech episodes aired when I was wee. Though my Zor crush was way less then my Starscream addiction, I did sport Rick Hunter hair at one point.

Seth

04:14 / 05.06.07

YO! Full of win and awesome.

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