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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

X Men 2 (HUGE FUCKING SPOILERS)

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11:25 / 23.04.03

One of the funniest things I've read all year.

Click to check out "X2: X MEN KICKING YOU IN THE BALLS SO HARD THAT YOU PUKE ON YOUR BALLS AND ALSO YOUR ASS"

11:41 / 23.04.03

God that was hilarious.... HAHAHAHAAH.....

"Bunch of films going, “Ewwh, please don’t hit me I’m so delicate and I’m made out of flower petals and also give me a reward”. And now this is the first one coming along going, “Get ready to have your balls kicked” and before you can say, “What’d you say?” it kicks you in the balls and eats out your girlfriend."

11:59 / 23.04.03

What is wrong with these aicn people?

12:02 / 23.04.03

One too many coke parties, eh? I'd imagine, anyway... I mean, how else do u get to be that insanely fucked up...?

12:09 / 23.04.03

I wonder if it's supposed to be ironic?

12:24 / 23.04.03

SPOILER!! DONT LOOK DOWN!! RIP YOUR EYES OFF!!

LAST WARNING BEFORE YOUR GET A CARDIAC ARREST DUE TO SPOILER!!

So, Jean DIES?? No problem actually, 'cos I hate Famke Jannsen, but on this line of thought I would have Stiffy Dull Boring Barbie Berry's neck severly chomped by ol' Sabretooth in X3, giving a good reason to Logan to get his face smashed under Creed's paws.

Back to question: Jean actually DIES?? I can't actually fucking believ it.

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

12:28 / 23.04.03

Everyone seems to be hinting at doing THAT Jean Grey story for X3. so it's just half a spoiler, I'd say

Foust is SO authentic

13:34 / 23.04.03

Oh, bloody hell Sebastian. Put some space between the spoiler warning and the actual spoiler. My eyes dropped before I processed the warning.

11:50 / 24.04.03

STITCH YOUR EYELIDS!!! STAB YOUR EYEBALLS!!! BURN YOUR FACE WITH ACID!!! SMASH THE SCREEN!!!

Sorry Foust, I honestly thought it would work, and now I have expanded the space between warning and the awfull, disgusting, horrible truth. Sometimes happens if you go intoe dealings with devils, which are probably laughing in their own private hell.

I trust this piece of fore-knowledge will not handicap your experience of the whole bloody movie next week.

"To me, my X-Men."

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

21:41 / 24.04.03

SPOILER ISH MAYBE KINDA

when you say THAT jean grey story, are we to think that famke jensen in a green and yellow body suit is due in a couple of years?

Foust is SO authentic

15:30 / 25.04.03

Hahahaha. I love the new title of this thread.

17:55 / 25.04.03

Everything I've heard about this movie makes me think it's 100x better than the comics. Isn't Nightcrawler supposed to be really well done over his 2D counterpart?

*can't wait for next weekend so I can puke on my balls/ass/both*

The Return Of Rothkoid

23:56 / 25.04.03

Fuck Yeah Wolverine (which should be his official name)

Well duh...

11:21 / 26.04.03

Couldn't it be that Jean "dies" - only to rise from the ashes as Phoenix?

17:53 / 26.04.03

Bobossboy: For some reason I misread your fictionsuit as Boobyscooby.

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

18:00 / 26.04.03

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! IT'S A POSSIBLE SPOILER! FUCK!!!!

Elijah: That's what all the fanboys are saying. A plot point of X2 is that Mind Control Readhead was mutated futher by Magnet-Gandalf's machine. On one of the trailers she's fighting Scott and his eye-beam hits her shield, refracting in the shape of a Pheonix.

This film is going to fucking rule.

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

18:11 / 26.04.03

man, that crazy mind control redhead...

15:56 / 28.04.03

So, when it is opening for you guys? Here it will be in 2 days from now

.

The Return Of Rothkoid

13:30 / 29.04.03

Today (the 30th) in Australia.

18:15 / 30.04.03

Nature Laughs Last, it is written somewhere in the movie (before Jean and Ororo enter the church), which, I think, was incredible clever in more than one sense. -->> And yes, in more than two senses, also.

It was okay, but not more than that. And as the title says, HUGE FUCKING SPOILERS follow now .... Jean dies, but as it was hinted at by someone else in this thread, Phoenix beckons. But just not in this movie.

Now, when is Matrix?

18:17 / 30.04.03

Forgot, I really hope Deathstrike hasn't bitten it, as her death was just too convincing, because otherwise I will not be handing out my money to Singer's next uneven Blockbuster attempt at the comic book genre.

18:35 / 30.04.03

(: She is the best thing, for me, personally)

19:53 / 30.04.03

Christ. How many spoilers are you guys gonna cough up before people have seen the movie?

14:30 / 01.05.03

Christ. How many spoilers are you guys gonna cough up before people have seen the movie?

Is this a request? If then, I'll save whatever bucks this movie costs by giving you all the key plot points, starting now...

Nightcrawler, controlled by Stryker, almost succeeds in killing the US president. Scott and Jean have expositional dialogue, where he says that Jean hasn't been the same since the Statue of Liberty incident, we see fire inside her eyes several times throughout the movie, and after her death, and some mourning from everyone involved - just not the audience, Prof X is momentarily distracted before we leave for the lake where Jean has been buried by masses of water, and we can see something underneath -- Phoenix. Mystique, masquerading as Senator Kelly, checks up on Stryker and sees some ominous deisgns for Cerebro 2, an improvement upon Cerebro (who Stryker obtained from Magneto) in the X-Mansion, designed to kill off the entire mutant race because Stryker has lost her wife, because of their son Jason (mastermind) with whom Prof X had had some remarkable failure with in the past. Prof X and Scott are captured while visiting Magneto, Jean and Storm out to retrieve Nightcrawler, when Stryker and his soldiers attack the mansion, capturing some kids, while Wolwerine, Rogue, Pyro and Iceman run off. Stryker had something to do with Wolwerine's adamantium skeleton, and supposedly, W had volunteered freely to have indestructible bones, but the intense pain of liquid Adamantium had sent W over the edge and blah, blah. W and the rest meet up with Storm, Jean and Kurt, and they meet up with Magneto and Mystique (she had injected iron on one of the security guards, thus giving him his escape method) and they attack the Alkali Lake center, where mastermind is fooling Prof X to kill off the mutant race with C2, and blah blah, they avert this incident, but M & M fools mastermind to tell Prof X to kill the human race but this is averted and W and Lady D have a fight where W injects Adamantium into her blah blah a dam bursts, they all die. Almost.

Happy?

15:56 / 01.05.03

Thanks BC. Even your snide 'I can save you a few bucks and dish out the whole movie' was better spoiler space than your post about Deathstrike. Thanks muchly for the help.

16:03 / 01.05.03

Excuse me while I rinse the puke off my balls, and also my ass.

04:01 / 02.05.03

I know HULK has good potential to be shitty because Harry Knowles drooled all over the script he claims to have gotten.

BIG FUCKING SPOILERS THAT WILL MAKE YOU EAT THROUGH YOUR ASS AND SHIT THROUGH YOUR MOUTH!

the last hour of the movie almost completely lost me. it looked like a bad Claremont comic. no focus on the mutants' fight against prejudice, but against themselves in stupid colour animated cartoony style with unnecessary Jean Grey death in the end. anybody notice the faint phoenix glow underwater in the last scene or was it just me? the movie is morrison on some moments of the the first hour and a half. making Cyclops disappear until the end of the movie was an error, though. poor marsden got less screen time than anybody else. making some characters controlled by evil chemical in back of the neck made me feel I was watching harry potter. halle berry makes me want to shove her oscar right up her nostril. too much mutants, too much stupid names. but magneto as a muslim-terrorist-like figure was cool. chatting with mystique in the back of plane as two ladies at the hairdresser was bad. oval office nightcrawler bamfing sequence and wolverine slashing soldiers in the mansion sequence was worth my money.

uncle retrospective

05:49 / 02.05.03

Well I God damn loved it. That was the first film in a long time that was worth the cash, it was just so much fun.
I have to say I did feel dirty at being so excited over the scraps for fan boys, seeing Dr McCoy on the telly, the first time you see the Phoenix fire flicker in Jean's eyes. So Hurah! I'll be back to see it again.
Oh, i want Sebastian's head on a stick for that spoiler.
Gurr.

Imaginary Mongoose Solutions

07:48 / 02.05.03

It's worth noting, for the fanboy speculation around here, that the credits do refer to the "Phoenix Effect". I don't think that Grey having cool fiery bits, buying it, and then giving the final voiceover (which discusses an evolutionary jump) which repeats Prof X's from the 1st movie is a coincidence.

10:54 / 02.05.03

JF: Excuse me while I rinse the puke off my balls, and also my ass.

Yeah, well, I was a bit tired and my writing shows. Actually I pondered upon the idea of making the spoilerage a bit more artistic but in the end decided not to -- I'm fucking lazy. Promise you this though, next time I spoil you kids it will be to your aesthetic liking.

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

18:01 / 02.05.03

Holy christ, they should have called this thing "WOLVERINE KILLS EVERYONE"

after the almost total lack of casualties in the first movie, i was not quite expecting the murder fest...

WAY to much storm powers and not enough of everyone elses

In the museum at the begining i was waiting for jean or charles to say something about needing to erase the last 5 minutes of everyone memory.

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

18:28 / 02.05.03

oh, and when mystique is hacking and you see a list of mutant names, remy lebeau was the name right over gandalf-magnet

Imaginary Mongoose Solutions

18:33 / 02.05.03

And Hank McCoy was being interviewed on mutant rights, and there were Project Wideawake files on Stryker's computer... there were a lot of little things like that. Someone who went with me last night claims that there is a Stark Enterprises logo visible on Magneto's containment cell during one scene. We'll see how much truth there is to that tonight.

at the scarwash

20:44 / 02.05.03

If you are lame and have not seen this film yet, I suppose that there may be some SPOILERS in my post. Why you haven't seen it yet is fucking beyond me. Quit your job, shoot your poker buddies, leave your wife, but SEE THIS MOVIE.

This movie ruled me like an overfriendly cellmate who renames me "Laura." My god, the first scene alone was worth $8. BAMF! indeedy. I would have never in a million years have cast Alan Cummings as Nightcrawler, hell I would have never put a lame blue elf with white riding gloves and a Ren-Fest jerkin in the movie in the first damn place. But goddamn! Creepy sadomasochistic Christian teleporting around, kicking Secret Service ass from every direction at once. God damn. I couldn't have imagined it any better had i been on a book of acid channeling the spirits of Jack Kirby and Max Ernst. Storm is lame, yes. And that is bad, yes. Because she is a character that would seem to have potential to be made cinematically interesting. Halle Berry just ain't cutting it. But hey, asses in seats right? Mystique is much cooler than in the first one. If I ever get a job as a super villain (still working on my resume), I want to have a sidekick half as cool as that. Magneto's escape was one of those omigodimgonnashit moments for me. You. Cain't. Front. On. Dat. Cyclops is lame. But that is the essence of Scott Summers' character, so that's cool. Fuck Yeah Wolverine kills everyone. He's superbad.

God I am so lame.

22:11 / 02.05.03

Damn, what a great remake of The Empire Strikes Back! Take that, Lucas, you dickhead! But everybody gets lucky in this one (and by everybody I mean Wolverine) - not only does he not have to worry about the carbon freezing unit when he fights Deathstrike, the guy doesn't even have to lose a hand to engage in the "we'll rule the universe as father and son" speech with Stryker. Man, I hope Lucas has the balls to cast Cox as Vader in Ep III - I'll see it at least one and a half times! And if Singer hadn't cut the bit where R2D2 and Chewie jump-start the jet, that hottie Jean would still be alive.

Wolverine killing people: good. Ditto Nightcrawler, Colossus and Mystique (who knew?) and the Magneto escape sequence.

The screenwriters being utterly distracted by Jarvis Cocker and losing the plot: bad. Ditto killing Deathstrike and most of the other points brought up in the thread. Halle Berry should never be in another action movie ever. The Hulk dogs really look like shit, too. Wait - wrong movie.

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