If it's a secret beard it's unobserved, so it would be neither straggly nor trimmed, until it was 'outed' and collapsed it's follicular wave function, but that means a secret beard is untrimmable, which makes no sense, Hurty head now.
Beards around me, beards within me, beards above me, beards through me, beards without me, beards below me, beards across me, beards behind me, beards before me.
To Beard or not to Beard,
Pass me that damn shaver.
Never had one, and hopefully I never will.
The fact that I can't seem to grow one aswell is awesome. I can grow a moustash, and have big clumps of hair growing on the bottom of my chin, but they don't connect to the moustash, so I'm happy. I used to be a bit gutted that they didn't connect, but I don't have a clue why, because I've never been anywhere near wanting a grizzly beard.
Split ends in my beard. Universe A and Universe B separating. Perpendicular realities. Conflicts multiply and my comb is broken.
Or perhaps they are merging. At the root (chakra). Uncounted singularities on my face. Hiding the beard that hides the secret face of God.
I weep at the sight the Pert 2-in-1; the union it represents shatters my self-image. Walking on broken glass house. The tears salt the crumbs caught by my chin-tentacles.
I am now past the Fergal Sharkey stage and on target for Alan Rickman (Die Hard) by the end of next week. I'll soon be aiming for Daniel Day Lewis (My Left Foot) and then it'll be full steam ahead for Alan Rickman (Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves).
