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I'm very, very, tired. Treat me gently. (And where's the Darius quote? Is Ganesh Danesh?)
So anyway, Saddam Hussein and Porn.
We don't really have Arabs in Scotland, so I've got no idea what Sadam Hussein would look like naked. If you're an Arab fleeing persecution, or the Aliied bombing, come along to Scotland. Seriously. You'll be Liz Hurley in a burqa. Obviously, I've seen Arab *women* naked, during n all-night hotel-room porn Marathon with my good friend and industry contact Grant Morrison the night before FerengiCon in San Diego in '97, but that's not really the same thing. Not that it matters, but all the porn was strictly male-on-female, and we didn't look at each other the whole time. I think Gary Busey may have dropped by, too.
Anyway, I reckon that, underneath all those military outifits, Sad the Lad probbaly has a mighty but neglected manpole, just waiting for the call to arms. But at the same time, surrounded by Islamic states, the only porn he can probably get is crap pirate stuff from Turkey were they have to wear those body-stockings we only had to cope with in Tipping the Velvet.
So here's the solution. Big fuck-off airdrops of porno on Baghdad and then, when he flees the rain of Big-Breated Butt Babes to his home town of Tikrit, pornbomb that too. Cover him with porno until his old chap starts spitting red. At that point he'll either have to surrender or hide in a bunker and ride it out till he's turned inside-out through his own urethra.
Peace, perfect peace, and at no greater cost to the US military than the unreturned charges from Blockbustahahahahahaha.
Ahahaha.
Ahaha.
Aha. |
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