For Exp(ressionless) and any others whose tenterhooks have been chafing to hear how this saga ended, here's how this saga ended. I did return to ChristianBBS after another period of 'restoration' (in which I had to copy out the Terms of Service and email them to Fritz) and a warning about posting anything related to homosexuality; I did my best to steer clear of obvious red-rag-to-a-bull stuff (like 'How can I make a gay person change?'); I lasted barely one week.
(*Sigh* This really makes me feel like a troll...)
This time, I brought about my downfall by trying to offer support while staying within my new 'gagging' restrictions. A newbie to the board, Confused, wrote (in a thread I now can't find and which has, I think, been deleted) about his/her difficulty coping with the guilt of homosexual desires. Predictably, (s)he received a lot of 'repent or burn' replies. I wrote:
"Confused: You are posting on a conservative Christian message-board which will give you conservative Christian answers. Perhaps this is what you want. If you would like a 'second opinion', feel free to contact me by PM or email."
I thought this was a reasonable way of avoiding problematic discussion on-board while extending a sympathetic ear off-board - the ol' psychiatric urge, I guess.
Mistake. A snotty email from Fritz and I was immediately barred again - permanently. Apparently, I was "soliciting" for someone "wanting to get out of homosexuality" to contact me. Fritz had "addressed the issue" with his rather shadowy "superiors" and was kicking me out for good - without even telling me which TOC I'd notionally violated!
Confused didn't contact me and I didn't make any attempt to contact him/her. Ironically, in his/her particular case, I really don't think I'd have advocated a strongly 'pro-homo' stance anyway - the individual seemed too conflicted and self-lacerating for that - merely a softer, more reflective line than they were getting from the usual CBBS worthies.
Although I'm naturally annoyed at the unfairness of my expulsion (hundreds of other posters have invited each other to continue discussion off-board) I'm not as surprised as I was the last time (every communication from Fritz made my Damoclean situation painfully obvious, and my eventual exclusion was a certainty) and consequently not as angry. Also, I had time to get involved in some decent debates and ask some good meaty questions, and there's not the same sense of being stopped mid-sentence.
So... although I certainly made friends there, my abiding impression has been of narrow, fearful paranoia - on the part of those running the place more than anyone else. There seems to be a mortal terror of the possibility of anyone confronting information that's not officially processed and 'massaged' by the religious far-right; even neutral research findings (on the previously-linked 'Condoms & HIV' and 'Homosexual Life Expectancy' threads) must be limited - and God forbid someone suggests that the "homosexual lifestyle" might not automatically end in disease and premature death...
In a way, that crippling defensiveness disappointed me more than the 'fire & brimstone' stuff: I found it incredibly difficult to summon any respect for a faith so apparently unable to address even mildly uncomfortable concepts that it could only stick its metaphorical fingers in its ears and chant Leviticus...
Anyway, I think my 'Christian Experiment' has run its course - as brief flirtations go, it was no tit-claw encounter - and I'll not be heading back. I've definitely got the taste for spiritual tourism, though, and may soon be sunning myself on a Buddhist message-board near you... |
