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miss wonderstarr
19:52 / 09.02.07
It's just a lolled-mine.

‘Time for thought and rationality, later,’ her mind screamed at her. ‘For now, Escape is the Grand Thought.’

And that one's second instinct is to do one's best to impersonate Namor, the Sub-Mariner.
 
 
The Falcon
19:53 / 09.02.07
The single highlight for me, and really I don't think I can look without bringing on tearful gales of laughter at the Hawksmoor debacle, the thing I always remember is his accusation of toksik, who'd asked him for his real name, a)being a teh ghey and therefore b)as teh gheys do, only wanting his real name to wank over.

I just thought that was really amazing.
 
 
Quantum
20:51 / 09.02.07
I never read it all the way through but I just noticed one of the characters is named 'Wilma'. Sexy.
 
 
miss wonderstarr
21:07 / 09.02.07
Only by the Majority of her Colleagues, I think. After they'd known her for a Time that'd been equal to what seemed an Dark Age of stellar millennia, and got to know every last inch of her 1.7m high body, complete in the light of the fragmented bulb from the woodily-timbered floor above as she slowly, languiously drew the blade from a mauve-tinged velvet Sheath on her back, and smiled showing teeth as strong as an Ox that has been a faithful farmer's companion for decades (even aeons), and added "You can call me Wilma".
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
23:18 / 09.02.07
Over in the "joke" thread:

Quants: johnleespider; a friend of mine has taken issue with your blonde jokes;



She said she'll rip out your heart if you do it again, ha ha.

Mist: You mean, you can see her too, Quantum?!?
 
 
Tsuga
01:19 / 10.02.07
God, bro, I just read that Hawksblood thing LOL ect. How did I miss stumbling across that? I know someone like that can be really tedious; but it was just so funny, in a sad way. What a maroon.
I didn't like the North Carolina cracks, or what Hawksmoor did to perpetuate stereotypes of the southern US, it makes me want to pop a blazing suede lance in his ass.
Wait...oh god, is that a dubble intender? Did I sound gey?

Shit.
 
 
Triplets
02:26 / 10.02.07
LOL from Teh Bleeds.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
10:52 / 10.02.07
How did I miss stumbling across that?

It's been ghosted, I think. When you delete a thread around here it doesn't actually disappear, it just can't be seen on the front page list.
 
 
ibis the being
18:00 / 11.02.07
Pregnancy is not some sort of game of roulette where one day a woman will spontaneously produce a foetus, and it is just bad luck for the blameless chap she happens to be going out with at the time.

Haus in Pregnancy & Contraception. Sometimes the obvious does need to be pointed out.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
22:56 / 11.02.07
I simply do not fuck the pro-life.

saintmae in the Contraception And Consequence thread.

On a couple of levels, it would be an excellent thing to have written on one's t-shirt, if not arm.
 
 
Triplets
17:43 / 12.02.07
Of course, you could attempt to induce a permanent psychosis in yourself through prolonged, heavy use of LSD, amphetamines, and so on - and if it turns out you have a genetic predisposition to schizophrenia, say, then you're laughing - or your auditory hallucinations are, anyway.

Vintage Ganesh, c. 2002
 
 
Blake Head
18:12 / 12.02.07
You know, I cannot think of any reason why the eternal battle of "Coke goooood! Coke baaaad!" should be being played out in the Head Shop.

Then again, I have just smoked a big bowl of crack, so I'm a bit non-linear...

Vintage Haus, c. 2001, demonstrating even way back when that their usual wit and wisdom aren’t compromised by maintaining a serious drug-habit.
 
 
Quantum
23:47 / 12.02.07
How anyone can think dumb blonde jokes are sexist is beyond me.

The frankly astonishing enamon cracks me up in the abyssal monstrosity that the jokes thread has become. From anybody else it would have % delimiters at either end.
 
 
Char Aina
03:22 / 13.02.07
Vintage Ganesh, c. 2002
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
05:14 / 13.02.07
How do you fit six million Jews into a Volkswagon?

4 at a time.

Lionheart, following up on Enamon's point in the jokes thread. Great sense of humour those boys have.
 
 
Evil Scientist
08:17 / 13.02.07
I am blonde. I am woman. Those jokes were sexist.

Hear me roar.

Alas striking like lightening into the "Joke" thread in response to Enamon's frankly idiotic suggestion that dumb blonde jokes on Barbelith are okay because there are no blonde women on the site.
 
 
penitentvandal
11:10 / 13.02.07
how many times do i have to explain to you that everyone is sniggering behind their screens every time you go for the cockular?

Again from the Hawksmoor thread, but marvellous. Casting on 'Count Cockular' begins next week, if anyone's interested. Also, if anyone has a living room with really, really bad seventies furniture, that would be a big help.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
21:01 / 13.02.07
Jokes are not actually funny.

Haus, in the Jokes thread.

And they really aren't, are they? They really, really aren't ...
 
 
penitentvandal
07:33 / 14.02.07
someone whose approach to the forum is so Byzantine that he has a Five Point Plan of How To Be A Cock To People

Kay describing Haus in Barbannoy - not because it's true (it isn't), but because I now continually have an image of Haus as some moustache-twirling villain constantly consulting this 'five point plan' (which in my mind I imagine to be on some kind of scroll) before his every post on the board, then laughing in a manner most evil as he clicks the 'post' button.

It would be a great signature, too.
 
 
Mistoffelees
21:21 / 14.02.07
From the spanking new joke thread:

*****
Liger Null, that reminds me of the second half of the one about the Buddhist monk who ordered a hotdog.

The first half is that he asks the hot dog vendor to "Make me one with Everything."

The second half is that after giving the vendor a $10 bill expecting $7 back, nothing happened. The monk asked the vendor about the $7, and the vendor pointed out to the monk that "Change can only come from within." (Telephones and Telephone Bells)

*****
Oh my god. Is that the ultimate joke-thread joke or just horribly ironic. (miss wonderstarr)

*****
The ultimately horrible irony is that I'm pretty sure that one's IN the original thread somewhere.

The really, really stupid part is that I can't be arsed to trawl through to find it. (stoat)

*****
It's the first post of the first page. (Mordant Carnival)
 
 
Orange
21:47 / 15.02.07
Is this an issue you have actually encountered in your life, or are these musings on pre-coital contracts simply abstract intellectual musings akin to 'If you had to kill a dog or a family of meerkats which would you choose?'.

Quantum, in Conception and consequence.

I am now, of course, thinking about whether I would kill the dog or the family of meerkats. And feeling a little silly for laughing at my computer screen while sitting alone in my room.
 
 
Quantum
10:31 / 16.02.07
It's not unknown for the socks to turn on ya, if you have issues.

Mordant Carnival *is made of quotes*
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
17:46 / 16.02.07
when ugly girls in faux-victorian dress are telling you that not only do you not understand Metallica (for the record, I never pretended I did) but that she has also imprisoned your soul in a quartz crystal UNTIL YOU ADMIT THIS FACT, well, it just seemed time to move on.

Princess, here.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
15:13 / 18.02.07
TimCallahan -I tried Dan Fish's site, but the Morrison prose stuff shows up as gibberish. Any idea why?

miss wonderstarr -There's a joke hanging there just waiting for someone to punch it home.
 
 
Quantum
10:11 / 19.02.07
Blake. Don't wee in your pants.

Lula is the voice of reason in the questions thread. Sound advice.
 
 
Blake Head
14:11 / 19.02.07
Thanks Quants. Recorded for all time, without context, as the board's other resident incontinent. That's just great. It was a hypoethetical question. And I still want to know - we could be talking a matter of life or death here!
 
 
Blake Head
14:12 / 19.02.07
And we all know damn well how much more consequential hypoethetical questions are than hypothetical ones.
 
 
Triplets
18:21 / 20.02.07
Our Lady, after Quantum told us about his tooth dilemma

Quantum, aren't you supposed to collect all the bits of you that fall off in jars while you turn into QuantumFly?

UIIUUUU
 
 
Hallo, Paper Spaceboy
04:19 / 21.02.07
(I suspect there's some weird psychological thing here having to do with never knowing my father and loving comics with gorillas in them.)

Parenthetical aside from Decrescent Daytripper here, in the How Would You Write Batman thread.
 
 
Triplets
18:40 / 22.02.07
Our Lady of Wit

Also, a bigger budget means bigger thrills and it does seem to have all gone into the film rather than up someone's nose.
 
 
iconoplast
21:28 / 23.02.07
It's strange how I initially got into music because I thought it would make me popular at school, only to become so passionate about it that it's now a barrier more than anything else, as I find it hard to relate to people who aren't interested in music. I'm all alone. But with a great soundtrack.

-imaginary mice, YLi10S

... while most places on the internet take 'QFT' to mean 'Quoted For Truth,' I would like to use it here, instead, as an abbreviation of 'Quelle Fucking True.'
 
 
Benny the Ball
17:05 / 25.02.07
They just announced that Marvel's crossover for 2008 is 'War War', in which figurehead Marvel characters are possessed by the spirit of various wars and fight it out for the title of 'greatest war ever'. Captain America is WW2, Punisher is Vietnam, Iron Man's Korea and I think Spiderman is the Cola Wars from the eighties...

Rampant Botany in the DC Nation/NY Comic Con revelations thread over in comics.
 
 
Triplets
17:47 / 28.02.07
I don't think they'd let me on B3TA with this

  
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
22:14 / 28.02.07
He's like a humanities Carol Vorderman really.

Quantum sends Stephen Fry into a new and more horrible depression.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
01:23 / 01.03.07
It's hard to picture Stephen being coaxed back from Belgium this time, certainly, if he ever finds out.
 
  

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