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Welllllll...
Actually, I'm almost 1, in BBLith years specifically, and internet post-boards in general: before last April the internets was more of a thing to look at and read and shop and send emails over than contribute to.
13 is giving me way too much credit, Haus.
I would have never said that I'm easilly influenced, but one rarely recognizes, let alone admits, to one's faults. Yeah, I guess I can see it, though.
I guess I can try excuse myself due to my lack of internet-smarts, or savvy, but the fact is that I tend to take one post at a time and react, rather than stand back and look at the larger picture/history.
"Oooh. This person is friendly to me - better be on their side..."
Ignorance? Innocence? Kind-hearted/weak-willed? Easily influenced: a result of all the above, I suppose. I can get swept up in the moment before I anaylze a situation properly sometimes.
Not to say that I haven't learned a lot in the short time I've been here: it's been a hell of a place to cut one's teeth, even in it's decline, given the standards the place has held. I can honestly say that interacting here has challenged my thinking and made me question my long-held views and assumptions more than any other community I've associated with, and things I've learned here have carried over into meat-space, much to my benefit.
A part of me wants to get all defensive and lash out and whine: "Well, I'm sorry I'm just not as enlightened as all of you" and go on and on about cliques and elitism and general snobbery. I can guarantee that a few short months back I would have done, but I'd had my knuckles rapped for similar and can stand back a bit now and have that tiny bit of clarity to know I'm wrong. I've had Kind and patient people take me to the side to explain to me the rules and I've had impatient, frustrated, suffer-no-fools types jump down my throat.
But I've tried, and learned. And sometimes, when I get the chance, I browse the archives. I've learned from there, as well, but the reading becomes a bit more dry, less dynamic, for me since I wasn't a part of it (for better or worse) and cannot really sympathize with the whole "God, it sucks here now; nobody good is left" line.
HCE, if it really sucks for you, imagine how it is for newbies like myself who joined all bright-eyed and eager only to find myself in a mass exodus; catching only little scraps of what I came here for and recieving shovelfuls of how this place has become shit and all new people have ruined the vibe and we're all ignorant and stupid... (OK, you didn't say all that, but it's what I inferred)
I'm pretty sure that not all my posts are stupid and/or irrelevant, and the many that were were picked apart. Those that weren't were left to stand because they were read and ignored or passed over altogether. I'm sure that you had the benefit of being similarily ripped apart when you were stupid/irrelevant. You just had a broader, more dynamic community doing so, and less was ignored because people had a greater vested interest in the community, I imagine. We don't have that now. So please understand, when you post that "Now the problem is that nobody good is left." it's a slap. Not a constructive "better yourself" slap, but a spiteful one.
If nobody good is left, it seems that more a failure of the "good" people than the remaining and the new. If the standards aren't up to your liking why aren't you doing your best to correct the situation? I'm relatively certain that the 'lith wasn't fully born wonderful, that there were growing pains and lessons to be learned and a community to support and correct each other. I'm pretty certain you had all that. What do we have now?
I find myself ignoring posts that bother me because history has shown me that many times I'd spoken up, I'd misunderstood what I'd read or I was outright wrong. I always figured if something was wrong, someone with more experience would point it out. Guess not. I suppose that it's because those who cared left...
Haus tries. Randy tries. Flyboy tried. Speaking for myself, sometimes the clever brand of Barbelith sarcasm goes straight over my head. Often, but not always. I chalk it up to the fact that it's a thing learned: you don't go to a foreign country and pick up all the nuance of the culture.
The Darkstallion suit pissed me off alot, but for quite a while I actually thought it was some eager kid, kind of on the dumb side; but earnest nonetheless. When I said something stupid and reactionary, or did not express myself well and the DS suit agreed with me, it was like a punch to the stomach: I knew I was either wearing my ignorance on my sleeve at that moment or I had some 'splaining to do and would try distance myself from him. I'm sure I came off as flip-floppy: sometimes because I failed an attempt at sarcasm or didn't express my thoughts properly and sometimes because I did flip-flop when I realised I was wrong and/or being a jerk. It took a while to catch on and when I did it was to mixed feelings of shame, anger, amusement and illumination.
When the DS suit wrote something incredibly stupid or offensive in a thread I had nothing to do with, I kept quiet because I felt that it wasn't my place to say anything, that other, more experienced people would do so; "I mean, I'm still new here, right? What right do I have calling someone out when I'm still looked upon as a "newbie". Besides, there's mods for all that, right?"
When nobody else ripped on DS, I wasn't sure if it was a sign of the lax state of things or because maybe I was wrong or misreading things. My intuition isn't 100%, but not following it is usually one of my biggest mistakes.
But then again, except for the first couple of months after I joined, that's been the case for alot of my experience here: people don't really seem to care. I guess attrition works. And my confidence as a board virgin is shaky at best, so I keep quiet when I shouldn't and spout nonsense when I should shut up. I keep telling myself it's all a learning process.
I have read some of the Trolled archives, and I can see why some people may want to leave rather than stay and fight for what they worked for, but did all the "Good People" leave because they were worn down and frustrated, or because they had nothing left to say? It's not all that clear: People always rave about how sage and noble Ganesh was in the glory days, but over in LN, s/he's made 4 posts in one year. Maybe s/he's really busy, or only writes when s/he has something s/he want's to say? I don't know. Maybe in the six or seven years barbelith was "good", all the "good" people exhausted all the good and interesting things that they had to say...? |
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