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Shut the FUCK UP: the thread for things/people/animals/entities that need to shut up

  
  

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Pingle!Pop
05:44 / 07.08.07
Gah. Shut up free speech.
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
07:07 / 07.08.07
Shut the Fuck up

Ali C.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
08:35 / 07.08.07
Stupid Gorean dipshit who has decided to spam the nonwiccanwitch Lj community with a post entitled "You are not obeying and you are not a real girl" and consisting of lots of pictures of cunts and the word "cunt" a lot of times: shut the fuck up, you tragic little wannadom.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
08:36 / 07.08.07
Some of the cunts are very pretty, mind. But it's the principle of the thing.
 
 
Disco is My Class War
10:55 / 07.08.07
I am bidding for a Super Bark Stop on Ebay right this very moment.
 
 
electric monk
15:34 / 07.08.07
This is for every time you've called me a "pinko" or a "commie" or a "dirty liberal" or a "socialist":

SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU IGNORANT PIG! I AM SICK TO FUCKING DEATH OF YOUR THOUGHTLESS, SELF-ABSORBED SHIT-SPEW!

And as a bonus, this is for every time you've laughed and said "It's just a joke" when I got angry at being called a "commie" for the umpteenth time:

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY, YOU SPINELESS FUCK! LABELING SOMETHING A "JOKE" DOESN'T LET YOU OFF THE HOOK FOR PISSING ME THE FUCK OFF! And if you're not mature enough for that bold course of action, it might just be best to
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
 
 
grant
16:06 / 07.08.07
I can teach you how to sing the Internationale, if you think it'd help. Arise!
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
11:10 / 17.08.07
Youtube commenters, shut the fuck up. Especially the toerags commenting on women's self defence clips. What the fuck, people. You'd better all be under twelve. The guy commented to the effect that he wouldn't be able to go to a bar now because he might touch a woman's arm and she could gouge out his eye: shut the fuck up. The guy who stated that the real cause of violence against women is single motherhood: shut th fuck up. The guy who posted to complain about the "excessive force" used by a self-defence student working with a well-armoured instructor and who then actually got in a fucking argument with the instructor when the latter turned up to say that he hadn't been hurt and was very proud of all his students: shut the fuck up. Everyone who posted "but he might have had a GUN so self-defence doesn't work" shut the fuck up.

Fuck I hate people, humans suck.
 
 
Triplets
11:23 / 17.08.07
I wish I had a gun.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
11:24 / 17.08.07
I wish I had a lot of guns. And a big dog.
 
 
Quantum
11:26 / 17.08.07
You want to be Hunter Thompson really don't you?
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
11:28 / 17.08.07
No, I only want a gun that works via Youtube. That's not weird. That's almost holy.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
11:31 / 17.08.07
And I would teach teh big dog to type, so he could growl at people.
 
 
Pingle!Pop
11:34 / 17.08.07
XKCD feels your pain:



And:

"Fun game: try to post a YouTube comment so stupid that people realize you must be joking. (Hint: this is impossible)"
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:07 / 17.08.07
Erm... I just posted my first ever comment on YouTube, guys... I'm shuffling uincomfortably now...

(OK, all it said was MOAR MUDKIPS, but still...)
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
21:49 / 17.08.07
Yay! I love XKCD. It is plainly written for the express purpose of soothing and comforting me at times of stress, like after reading Youtube comments. Everyone else is allowed to read it too because I am generous. XKCD: Never shut the fuck up ever.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
12:07 / 18.08.07
Incidentally, Song Guy's song is Hips Don't Lie by Shakira. I heard Hips Don't Lie by Shakira 8 times yesterday and 6 times so far today. I am not standing on my balcony screaming and hurling rocks. I want a fucking prize.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
16:43 / 19.08.07
Fucking hypocritical skinny-bashing Snack-a-Jacks internet adverts: shut the fuck up. You are selling sweetie- and crisp-flavoured rice cakes, a fucking "guilt free!!!" diet comestible (one hestiates to tarnish the good name of food by applying it to your filthy bags of AIR and STARCH and FAKE CRAP) to people--mostly women--who are desperate to lose weight and think that the way to do it is to eat different, more expensive processed crap to their usual processed crap. You do not GET to make unfunny jokes about skinny people. If you can call "No wonder supermodels are thin--they've all had their stomachs stapled" a joke, that is. Hey, buy our product! We engage in misogynistic body-bashing! Shut the fuck up.
 
 
gu
00:27 / 20.08.07
People who sing along with overrated radio songs such as "Hey There Delilah" - shut the fuck up.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
00:45 / 20.08.07
Radio station that is muzak at my swimming baths/gym: shut the fuck up. I had to get out of my combats and butch-shirt to fucking You Can Leave Your fucking Hat On, and that's just wrong. On so many levels.
 
 
Essential Dazzler
01:12 / 20.08.07
Welcome to the board jtlemonslice, what's a whored out radio song?
 
 
lille christina
09:03 / 20.08.07
Shut the fuck up, TV-license bastards! I do have a TV, yes. I do not have an antenna or any other tools that would make it possible for me to watch tv. TV is boring. I buy DVDs when I want to watch good series or movies. I get my news from the internet because Norwegian news tv SUCKS!

Why then do I have to pay the license?

SHUT THE FUCK UP!
 
 
lille christina
09:05 / 20.08.07
oh, and also: Drunk students outside my appartment - STFU!
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
10:26 / 20.08.07
Yeees... I was going to say something a bit uncharitable there but then I noticed that Jtlemonslice is brand new. Jtl, the board at large tends to frown on the use of "whore" as a perjorative. Please be mindful of your words.
 
 
grant
17:49 / 20.08.07
Besides which, we sing along with "Hey There Delilah."


Well, I do, anyway.



What? I'm not ashamed.
 
 
imaginary mice
18:16 / 20.08.07
"hi...0777***8909 "

"I am a articulate guy with a great sence of humour!"

"hey gourgouse and hows you im ian"

"helo ow our you tiday lol "

"Hi babe how are you. How come a fox like you is on here - you are hot!!"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!! GO AWAY! FUCK OFF! LEARN TO SPELL! LEAVE ME ALONE!! (And no, I won't call you if you can't even be bothered to write a proper message, you creep.)

God, I hate online dating.
 
 
gu
20:58 / 20.08.07
Please be mindful of your words.

Will do. Sorry for not lurking more before I joined. And to stay on topic, another thing that needs to shut up is my cockatiel at 5:00 in the morning.
 
 
Shiny: Well Over Thirty
12:39 / 21.08.07
The automated voices that order one around over the PA system on every South Eastern trains platform need to Shut the Fucking Fuck Up. I might not mind being given orders by an actual human member of the station staff, if it was necessary, and I might not mind a polite request being made via the automated system - but I draw the line at taking constant orders from a automatic instruction system.

Sooner or later I'm going to crack and wind up riding a bike back and forth on the station, on the wrong side of the yellow line, smoking a fag, whilst my half a ton of luggage sits unattended at the opposite end of the station.
 
 
All Acting Regiment
13:50 / 21.08.07
In the North we have a delightful woman who says "Smourkin' ... is not allooed ... on any pahrt of the train". They've perhaps tried to put the regional accent up there, in which case good, but they've chosen the most nasal, dead-in-clogs, defeated version of it going. Veronica from Shameless would be much better - but then you'd never find a true Mancunian telling people not to smoke.
 
 
Shiny: Well Over Thirty
14:16 / 21.08.07
Yeah, ours is a sort of somewhere between estuary and RP, which is I suppose how a reasonable number of people speak in Kent, but it doesn't sound remotely human either. It's weird, I mean I presume an actual living person must have sat down and and recorded it, but if so than whoever recorded it is really wasted working on recording station announcements - they do the dead, souless voice of the machine so well that they ought to have a real acting career.
 
 
Stigma Enigma
22:06 / 21.08.07
Felix Faust, get the fuck out of my head.

Satan, get the fuck off my back you monkey.

Asmodeus, stop riding me or I will ride you to hell.

Mammon, your hold over Western society is tenuous and I will do everything in my power to bring you down.

Thank you, Guardian Angels, for your back up.
 
 
Glenn Close But No Cigar
22:25 / 21.08.07
Good to know Felix Faust, Satan, Asmodeus and Mammon read Barbelith, although I don't think that they should be made moderators just yet...
 
 
c0nstant
22:34 / 21.08.07
Bernard Manning shut the fu...

oh.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
00:21 / 22.08.07
Good to know Felix Faust, Satan, Asmodeus and Mammon read Barbelith

i herd they awl liek mudkips
 
 
Saint Keggers
00:23 / 22.08.07
Ugh... enough with the mudkips. Thats so yesterdays news.



I hear they like asscandles.
 
  

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