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Shut the FUCK UP: the thread for things/people/animals/entities that need to shut up

 
  

Page: 1 ... 34567(8)

 
 
Liger Null
19:50 / 13.12.07
SHUT THE FUCK UP people who use passing a driving test/car ownership as an index of maturity/functionality/general worth as a human being.

Ditto to that. And add to that list people who use marriage and/or childbearing in the same way.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
20:15 / 13.12.07
Yeah, stick 'em ALL in a car with a baby on board sticker and a bunch of cans tied to the back then wheel them of a cliff.

The CRIME is HIGH DOUCHERY IN THE FIRST. The sentence is PLUMMET.
 
 
Liger Null
01:00 / 15.12.07
No actual babies on board, though.

It's not their fault their parents are fuckwads.
 
 
The Falcon
09:25 / 15.12.07
Yes, not to drive babies off cliff plz. 'Baby on board' stickers though, eh? I don't drive, so possibly I miss something here, but do you go "oh, I was going to drive really close, possibly ram the back end of your vehicle but the sticker has made me reconsider"? Do you?
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
09:42 / 15.12.07
I read where it's for the benefit of the emergency services. If there's a crash it's easy to miss very little people in the confusion, sadly.
 
 
The Falcon
10:44 / 15.12.07
Erk, really? It actually sounds quite sensible, put that way. Although 'little person on board' (rather than baby,) etc. are still a bitty cloying.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
10:54 / 15.12.07
I don't know if that's true, it's just something I've heard. And otherwise, yeah, those signs would be a bit pointless.
 
 
Benny the Ball
11:15 / 15.12.07
princess on board signs on the other hand....
 
 
_Boboss
21:59 / 18.12.07
also a sign that the person in front might be braking a little more gingerly, so you might want to think about leavng a little more stoppage room. multifunctional, and pretty close on the whole wanky vs. just-fine-really scale. rather go without though really - i expect the market is actually made up of well meaning grandparents who love a trip to halfords more than, i hope, your be all and end all psycho parent types.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
22:21 / 18.12.07
well meaning grandparents who love a trip to halford

Someone should tell 'em, really, that Barry Chuckle's already nicked all the good shit. Save 'em a journey.
 
 
Pingle!Pop
11:27 / 21.12.07
Humour 'comes from testosterone'

FFS. Apparently because men were more abusive to someone riding around on a unicycle, that means that they're "more comedic".

Wimminz = naturally grey-faced, as everyone knows anyway.
 
 
Essential Dazzler
12:52 / 21.12.07
"Humour"
 
 
All Acting Regiment
16:53 / 07.01.08
Noughties so far: The soundtrack

By Alexis Pedtridis




The biggest influence on rock and pop music in the noughties has been the 90s. It was Britpop's desire for mass appeal that firmly introduced consensus culture to rock: the notion that it should not even nominally be the expression of authority-baiting, parent-scaring counterculture, but light entertainment that excludes no one, something the whole family can enjoy. So it has continued. The predominant sound of the decade so far has been what you might call consensus rock: the epic stadium balladry of Coldplay and their ilk.

You could argue that the fact that its designed for packed stadiums to bellow along to en masse suggests a desire for communion and togetherness in the post-9/11 world, but what it really tells you about the decade is that it has been filled with artists whose desire to be universally adored precluded doing anything particularly daring.

Fear of scaring off potential customers has largely proscribed politics in pop (if you're looking for a reflection of the weird combination of apathy and dissatisfaction that seems to define the noughties' electorate you'll find it on Radiohead's Hail to the Thief, an album filled with distrust of the government and dread for the planet's future, but on which the overriding message appears to be not "storm the barricades" but "tsk, typical"). Musical innovation has been left to predominantly black genres, be they R&B in the US or the multifarious offshoots of garage here, as well as the more forward-thinking pop producers - it's one of the weirdest quirks of noughties music that manufactured pop artists such as Britney Spears or Girls Aloud have ended up making more sonically interesting records than their more earnest rock counterparts. So its capacity for wry, sharp lyrical observation has been the most interesting thing about rock music in recent years, whether it takes the form of the dextrous vignettes painted by Alex Turner of the Arctic Monkeys or the Libertines' depictions of life in impoverished east London bohemia. Occasionally, the words collided with trail-blazing music to startling effect, as in the case of the Streets' idiosyncratic take on hip-hop and lad culture or Dizzee Rascal's astonishing Boy In Da Corner, the latter the most eloquent musical depiction of the sink estate teenager's aimless, disenfranchised rage.

But someone in 10 or 20 years' time looking to find the music that's most evocative of the noughties should remember that the most dependable Proustian rush is never provided by the best or most successful rock and pop music of any era. In a decade or two, the songs that will remind you the most sharply of this decade will be the ones that you'd forgotten had ever existed. The record that transports you back most efficiently to a Saturday-night town centre in the age of asbos and binge-drinking won't be Kaiser Chiefs' I Predict a Riot or the Arctic Monkeys' A View From the Afternoon, but something such as Bodyrockers' I Like the Way You Move, a novelty dance hit, that in its thick-necked, knuckle-dragging, open-gobbed stupidity inadvertently makes you think of men in Ben Sherman shirts stamping on each others' necks outside a nightclub.


Italics mine.
 
 
jentacular dreams
17:44 / 07.01.08
Man, that's not even well written. And it's not a bad song either.

Not that it'll shut him up, but it's always nice to see Clarkson being corrected.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
16:46 / 29.05.08
Sharon Stone? Shut the fuck up.
 
 
All Acting Regiment
17:15 / 29.05.08
That's not actually how Karma is supposed to work, is it?
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
17:18 / 29.05.08
No. Unless Ms. Stone believes that all those little kids who got crushed to death in their schools were oppressing Tibet in a past life.
 
 
Tsuga
22:55 / 29.05.08
Just like New Orleans, homosexuals, and Katrina.
 
 
Pingle!Pop
18:08 / 24.06.08
You know that story up there about a study showing how men are naturally funnier than women? Apparently it was a JOKE article, in an edition of a journal well known for its JOKE articles. This story was ridiculously popular amongst major news sources, and not one of them picked up that it might not be a real study*, nor did any question the premise that "more abusive = funnier".

*Well, maybe a few did, and just didn't report on it; however, considering how all the biggest news sources took it up, it can't have happened much.
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
07:10 / 25.06.08
Heinz, shut the fuck up and stop apologising to fuckwits.
 
 
Pingle!Pop
07:51 / 25.06.08
Yeah, that. Anyone wanna see if 200 bigot-complaints can be beaten by complaints that it was pulled? Someone I know's already got 20-ish people to write in, so it should be possible...
 
 
Pingle!Pop
08:02 / 25.06.08
... There we go, I've written mine.

And while we're on the subject of STFU and teh gays, Jacqui Smith can STFU too. Apparently, we're gonna be sending all the gay Iranian asylum seekers back "home" because they're not in danger if they don't, y'know, flaunt it.
 
 
Automatic
09:20 / 25.06.08
I've emailed them too, what address did you use?

I found; http://www.heinzsight.co.uk/ContactUs.aspx

"I would like to express my disappointment that such a prestigious company would bow to the demands of bigots and homophobes."

That'll show 'em.
 
 
Pingle!Pop
10:29 / 25.06.08
I used Consumer.Contact@uk.hjheinz.com and cc-ed new.complaints@asa.org.uk. Beasties.
 
 
Evil Scientist
11:14 / 25.06.08
"I would like to express my disappointment that such a prestigious company would bow to the demands of bigots and homophobes."

Just sent a similar email myself.

Rally the troops Barbelith, we ride on Heinz.
 
 
Axolotl
14:16 / 25.06.08
Just sent an e-mail to Heinz. Here is a link from the Guardian talking about organising a boycott and also a link for an online petition.

I also just had an aneurysm when I looked at some of the comments on the Times website, though the majority are against the decision there's a small minority of extremely small minded bigots praising the decision, including a lot of Americans who claim that they were boycotting Heinz anyway because of the John Kerry link which is just head-shakingly bizarre.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
14:54 / 25.06.08
I'd like everyone to think that I've just sent an e-mail to Iggle Piggle/Gordon Brown - in a sense, they are both 'In The Night Garden'.

I suppose I'd have to be completely insane to expect a response, but that's not to say I'm not waiting.
 
 
Automatic
13:33 / 08.07.08
Heinz responds!:

"Dear Mr. F

Thank you for your recent email regarding the Heinz UK commercial for Deli Mayo. Consumer feedback is very important to us and we appreciate the opportunity to respond.

Heinz pulled the ad in the UK because our consumer research showed that the ad failed in its attempt to be humorous and offended people on all sides.

Heinz apologises for its misplaced attempt at humour and we accept that this ad was not in accordance with our long-standing corporate policy of respecting everyone's rights and values.

Again, our sincere apology to anyone who felt offended. We appreciate you taking time to contact us to express your opinion and allowing us to address this issue.

Ms. L. P.
Consumer Contact Department"

I think we can all agree that this bulk-mailed 'apology' is fucking spineless.
 
 
Axolotl
14:21 / 08.07.08
I just got that. They've missed the entire point of my complaint and even their "apology" seems to pander to the small-minded. "Respecting everyone's rights and values" my arse.
 
 
Dead Megatron
13:36 / 11.07.08
No, you asshole, it's not
 
 
All Acting Regiment
13:40 / 11.07.08
What a fucking prick. In what sense is being a pederast okay as long as some other people do it?
 
 
Triplets
13:44 / 11.07.08
The thing is, in Brazil, age of consent is 14-17 if you get parental permission. It's only 18+ when that's not required, so he's still in the wrong.

Correct me if I've fudged any of the ages there, Megatron.
 
 
Dead Megatron
13:52 / 11.07.08
In the same sense that just because some nations lack the resources to enforce their child abuse laws or properly curb sex tourism, it must follows that having sex with kids is part of their culture, I suppose. Or in the sense that people who live in "less civilized", usually non-white, "pagan" places of the world are not really real people with real feelings like "them".
 
 
Dead Megatron
13:59 / 11.07.08
Sorry, crossposting.

To be more precise Triplets, if one has sex with anyone younger than 14 (what is called "age of consent"), you are committing the crime of minor abuse (i.e. sex violence is assumed) even if the minor says otherwise, and no formal complaint from the minor of their parents is required. From 14 to 17, one is still incurring in crime if one has sex with a minor, but violence per se is not assumed, so it takes a formal complaint from the minor or any parent/legal guardian to allow for prosecution.

It's all illegal, tho.
 
  

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