Trips, a good friend of mine has lived apart from the mother of his child since just after conception*. In fact he can't stand her, but the time, attention and love they've put into parenting has produced a well adjusted, highly intelligent, secure child.
Except for from ‘but the time, attention and love’ onwards, none of the above, from an earlier post, is true. Not really relevant other than for clarity, and perhaps this: if the baby does turn out to be Triplets’ and he decides he does want to do the full on good-dad thing, living under the same roof as the little un in the first year, as the 'good friend' mentioned in fact did, is likely the best way to go.
So she’s on anti-depressants – do you happen to know which ones, and how safe it is to be on them while cooking up a baby? If she’s on some relatively recently-developed, funky, ssri types then, as far as I know, she’s basically using herself as a free testing ground for the medical company’s ‘what this stuff does to a fetus’ stats. Again, perhaps not very relevant except as more fuel for the ‘how irresponsible’ fire - and maybe to help pursue an option that I don’t think has been mentioned yet: given her history and the circumstances of the pregnancy, and if you turn out to be the biodad (the pat. test seems like a better and better idea), And if you decide to go for the dad of the year trophies, then you might well have a case to establish yourself as the primary carer, with preferential custody rights etc. This would put you a bit more in the driver’s seat regarding your choice of living arrangements and things. A long shot I suppose, and still a whole hellish world of hassle, pain and arse. You have my sympathies. |
