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Chop off my willy

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Tryphena Absent

11:46 / 27.03.07

even in light of that comment, I'm not sure Triplets needs to be told to read the manual after his scare

If you're not bright enough to think that serial unprotected sex=baby then you should read the manual and you should be told to read the manual especially if dinosaur pictures are your response to a close call.

Triplets expected a woman to take a morning after pill (that severely disrupts your body) frequently, it wasn't just her responsibility and rather than fucking partying I think it would be best for him to sit, alone in his bedroom and practice putting condoms on so that if this ever happens again it will either have been planned or a piece of rubber that just didn't work. There are lots of different types, if you like I'll send you samples through the post and you can try them all out to see which you like using best.

I'd like to add that next time any of us get involved with someone in any type of serious capacity and plan to stick cock in/receive it heterosexually then it might occur to sit down and talk to them about what's going to happen if there's a problem. It's what grown ups who are having heterosexual sex do. Hell, it's what bright 18 year olds do, even if it takes 30 seconds and works along the lines of, "if you make me pregnant I am having an abortion".

This may sound harsh but let's face it, it's all obvious and there is no need for us to play party-party with someone who could have though about all of this *before* he repeatedly fucked someone without a teeny teeny piece of rubber (that frankly no one wants to use).

11:59 / 27.03.07

a woman to take a morning after pill (that severely disrupts your body)

This is very true. I had to take one last summer, and my body went wacko for a while, I thought I might be having early onset menopause. There was a condom involved, but it just came off. I am just glad that it happened at least, with my well-known partner. There are so many good reasons for condoms.

12:28 / 27.03.07

Actually, now that I think about it, the condom rather failed us, but it does lessen the risks of disease and unwanted pregnancies. That cannot be ignored.

Was someone going to start a thread to discuss these other topics? Isn't this really an SBR thread? Should it be labeled as such?

ONLY NICE THINGS

12:33 / 27.03.07

Christ, no. This is a pure and simple Conversation thread. If it is an SBR thread, then there really is no need for such a forum to exist.

12:37 / 27.03.07

'Chop Off My Willy: SB&R' is not a thread title I ever want to see.

12:37 / 27.03.07

I am reading that as sarcasm, for some reason, Haus.

12:42 / 27.03.07

Oh dear. Now that you put it that way, Quants...

Tryphena Absent

12:47 / 27.03.07

Actually, now that I think about it, the condom rather failed us, but it does lessen the risks of disease and unwanted pregnancies. That cannot be ignored.

Well there is a reason why the morning after pill is called emergency contraception and condoms do fail but thankfully not very often.

12:50 / 27.03.07

Precisely Nina. Emergency use only.

Wait a minute, but "chopping off one's willy", is definitely a topic worth discussing in an SBR thread. I just want to be clear on that. However, that is an entirely different discussion than this one.

ONLY NICE THINGS

12:54 / 27.03.07

"At some point in the next fortnight, without warning, my lover will hack off my old chap with a machete.

That's amore!"

Sort of thing?

13:01 / 27.03.07

Haus, when I stop giggling, I will answer that.

13:27 / 27.03.07

The point I wanted to make was simply that it's possible for someone to miss a couple of periods and assume they've been pg since sometime after the last one, when in fact conception has happened later. I wasn't clear from Trips' first post whether she'd actually done a pregnancy test at that point or simply looked at the calender and gone "oh, fuck."

I’m still a bit baffled by the timing thing. So on the 12th Jan she tells Trips she’s pregnant. As it turns out, she wasn’t pregnant (or if she was she was so early in the pregnancy that a pregnancy test wouldn’t tell her she was). So is it just an unlucky coincidence that pretty much on the day she mistakenly tells Trips she is pregnant, she becomes pregnant for real? Or am also assuming things?
Genuine question. No tone intended.

14:06 / 27.03.07

[ot]
I stopped giggling. I am redirecting to Policy.
[/ot]

14:10 / 27.03.07

I swear there are days when I would pay good money to have an ad compaign of sexy people of various shapes, sizes, and skin tones with 'tattoos' of RTFM above their pubic areas and lower backs. Maybe just on various body locations...

Part of my rabid approach is based on being a person who experienced the hubris of youth. The arrogant 'not-me' attitude that got me face to face with some ugly unhappy truths.

I at least managed to only have sex with people I liked and could communicate with even if trusting their judgement was occassionally a gamble. It's not fun at all to sit in a clinic as an adult knowing you should know better than to take someone's word rather than do due diligence. Many folks think that if reproduction isn't possible than there is nothing to worry about. As stated elsewhere a lot of people cheat and don't have the courtesy of using barriers.

Dodging the bullet is a wonderful feeling. However the joy is greatly reduce knowing you pulled the trigger while playing russian roullette.

XK's mini manual:

1. Do get tested now. Know what you have and don't have.
2. Discussing sexual history and health should be a part of courtship.
3. Ask yourself: If someone is willing to not use protection with you, who else have they not used it with?
4. If reproduction is possible discuss it with your partner. Take measures to ensure your non fertility if you do not want offspring currently.
5. Use a barrier and learn how to use it properly. Have back up.
6. Put your health before your pleasure.
7. Learn other ways of giving and receiving pleasure safely.

Don't make me go all Head Mistress on yer ass and force you to write it 100 times on the blackboard.

Tryphena Absent

14:18 / 27.03.07

I'm sorry, I was under the impression that conception is medically dated at the first day of the period you would have had? So that would make her missed period mid-January and thus it would make perfect sense that she realised she was pregnant when conception was dated by whoever she went to see.

She had probably been pregnant for a fortnight by that point...

14:20 / 27.03.07

Can I nominate you for SBR moderator, XK?

14:37 / 27.03.07

I’m not sure I’m following you Nina. What about the original Jan 12 diagnosis? I suppose we need Triplets to help us out here, but she couldn’t have taken a positive test (because she either wasn’t pregnant then, or if she was it was too early to get a positive test result). So it must have been based on having missed at least one period. But if her pregnancy is now being medically dated as the first day she missed a period, it would be earlier than mid Jan, wouldn’t it?

14:37 / 27.03.07

(Ze would be rather good, eh)

14:38 / 27.03.07

Last to Justrix

20:56 / 27.03.07

Thursday Jan 18; Triplets: Hello darlings, my ex-girlfriend from this thread contacted me on Friday[12 Jan]. She's pregnant.

Last Friday: She's had a scan that puts the conception sometime in the middle of January.

So, what's the story with Dead Megatron's query on the dates? Something somewhere is wrong.

Yeah, I'm confused too. If the scan is accurate, it would seem that she knew instantly when (or even slightly before) she became pregnant. Perhaps while she was in the middle of a pregnancy scare, she actually did become pregnant. (Or maybe Trips typed "January" when he meant a different month.)

21:00 / 27.03.07

And, you know those sly women. The exact dates really do matter.

21:54 / 27.03.07

What's that supposed to mean?

22:09 / 27.03.07

We have unprotected sex sometime towards the middle of October.

I'm confused too, but wasn't this originally flagged up as the date of conception? If so, and assuming that Trips and his ex didn't have relations subesquently, it does seem as if he's had a rough three months for reasons that aren't that easy to understand, given the results of the scan.

Whisky Priestess

22:13 / 27.03.07

This to Gourami and Olulabelle, about 2 pages back - apologies for lateness:

From Triplets' first post:

Fast forward three months from there. We have unprotected sex sometime towards the middle of October.

(Trips, you have to say now if this isn't the whole story, or else I'm going to look a worse person than I already do).

Followed by the (recent) information that the conception has now been dated to mid-January. Missing 3 periods (or possibly 2) would set off warning bells waaaaay before then for most females (happy to be disagreed with) not least because you can't get an abortion (on the NHS at least) after - I think - 12 weeks.

Call me an old fusspot, but I think to tell someone you're pregnant and imply or actually state it's theirs when you are days? weeks? rather than three months gone and the last time you had sex with them was three months ago counts as misleading. No?

Whisky Priestess

22:33 / 27.03.07

Those Clearblue bastards won't tell me how soon you can know you're pregnant. Further research is pending ...

22:36 / 27.03.07

Goodness gracious.

I know I'm restating Nina's post but maybe I can outline a more detailed hypothtical. Say Miss X had spotty or weird periods in November and December. She knows she's supposed to get her period on January 10 and it's barely ever been late. January 10 and 11 come and go with no period, and knowing that she has had unprotected sex in the recent past, she figures she's pregnant. Since a woman can have spotty periods in early pregnancy, she really isn't sure whether it was her October sex with Trips that did the trick or January 2 sex with Mr. Y that did. For whatever reason she tells Triplets. She doesn't go to the doctor until March, when the doc asks when she first missed her period and she says, oh, middle of January. At this stage in the game that's considered the conception date, even though it may have actually been January 2 (or who knows, frankly it could possibly still be earlier). Later in the pregnancy they will be able to estimate the due date (and therefore conception) via ultrasound. I'm sure one of the Barbelith ladies who actually have experience with pregnancy can correct any inaccuracies, but that seems a totally plausible explanation to me. My sister-in-law is newly pregnant and she really isn't sure when she conceived either... could be January or Feb at this point. Periods don't arrive by FedEx all neatly packaged and perfectly synchronized.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

23:09 / 27.03.07

Just FYI: at the age of 17, I once went 7 months without a period. I didn't realise anything was off until the second month came and went and I was halfway through the third. Young, emotionally wonky people aren't always that in touch with their bodies.

23:30 / 27.03.07

Say Miss X had spotty or weird periods in November and December. She knows she's supposed to get her period on January 10 and it's barely ever been late. January 10 and 11 come and go with no period, and knowing that she has had unprotected sex in the recent past, she figures she's pregnant. Since a woman can have spotty periods in early pregnancy, she really isn't sure whether it was her October sex with Trips that did the trick or January 2 sex with Mr. Y that did. For whatever reason she tells Triplets. She doesn't go to the doctor until March.

My italics, but really and truly ...

23:38 / 27.03.07

(I should stress that I'm not in possession of all the facts here, of course.)

00:26 / 28.03.07

I'm sorry, I was under the impression that conception is medically dated at the first day of the period you would have had?

(not particularly interested in getting involved in this debate, but am anal and can't help but correct an inaccuracy.)

in the neat, wacko land of medicine, pregnancy is dated from the first day of the last period you had before you got pregnant. that is, confusingly, you are (more or less, depending on your cycle) 2 weeks pregnant on the day you actually conceive, and 4 weeks pregnant on the day you first miss a period. This of course doesn't take into account the variability of the menstrual cycle (in much the same way that expected due dates don't take into account the natural variability in the length of gestation).

The earliest you could tell that you are pregnant with a home test is, in my experience, about 2 days before your period is due, depending on the sensitivity of the test.

Disco is My Class War

00:28 / 28.03.07

Could people find someone else to interrogate the actions and motivations of, rather than continuing to pick over the bones of this girl who we don't know, never will and who really doesn't need this level of cosmic surveillance?

It's going to make no difference to Triplets whether we decide if his ex is a conniving harpy or not. It's in extraordinarily bad taste. People should know a lot better than this. (Not criticising the people who are defending a woman's right not to know the exact dates, or go to the doctor the second she falls pregnant, but let's all go elsewhere. Please.)

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