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Last Night--
Pub man to friend, talking about me rather than too me: Huh, your friend confused?
Me: No, not confused. Fairly sure I'm gay.
PM: Really?
Me: Yes, I have GAY sex wth GAY men.
PM: Wow. So do you give or receive?
Me: Don't you think that's a bit of a personal question
PM: But I've always been intrigued blah blah blah excuse for invading my privacy blah blah heterocentrism blah blah dance for me puff monkey, dance.
This morning, I had a 500 year old taxi driver ask me a similar question. He startedby asking if my friend was my girlfriend, which was rude. Then he asked if we where just having casual sex, and I said no and thought he was rude. (But still a nice old bumbler). Then he mentioned the eye-makeup (always the makeup, I mean, for fucksake, it's like emo never happened) and said it was interesting but made me look a bit like a gay. Then he asked, silly question, did I ever do "gay stuff". I was not comfortable a this point. Not only because I was trapped in a car with a conversation I felt unable to escape. There where Tasbeeh beads on the mirror, so I assumed the guy proffesed an Abrahamic faith. Visible faith position made me think, shit, what if he has a really strong problem with it. And, and this was the most ridiculous point, I couldn't think of a *polite* way to say "get out of my face".
So I say yes, sometimes. He asks me if I only have sex with men. He asks me how long I've been with the Fiance. He asks me whether "I enjoy him or does he enjoy me". He asks do I only sleep with men. He asks do I sleep with any man.
I tell him all the answers, then ask him to drop me off. I get out, he says bye. I think, thank fuck. Then, he says he likes my style and taps the passenger seat and asks me to get back in and talk to him. Which just made me think "hell no!". It took me a second to realise that the whole thing had been the beggining of a come-on. I just said no and walked away as quickly as possible.
It was horrible. I feel like he was just checking to make ure that I was a real woman/deviant/not man so that he could "enjoy" me. It was like this odd process where he had to make sure I was available for subjugation before he made an advance. The whole thing was scary and predatorys and angry making. And what made it worse was how nice he was when he did it. He was just so friendly, I would have felt like a dick for telling him off. Which is stupid.
What gives people the right to interrogate me. How does my queerness or my choice of eye makeup negate my right for personal boundaries.
On the other hand, there's some small part of me that's flattered. Which is, well, a bit odd.
Anyway. Le sigh. Scary heteronormatives(even if they like to pork younger members of their own sex) are a pain in the arse. |
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