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Dear Parents,
you remember when the younger child was diagnosed with Aspergers, and it was a real drain, and you basically ignored your other children for five years? ANd you said that was ok, because "he's got an invisible disability and you wouldn't ask a cripple to do hurdles". And as a result I grew up vastly introverted and disconnected and the youngest child is turning into a drug dealer just to get your attention?
Well, I accept that you didn't really have a choice about that. That's not what's pissing me off right now. What's pissing me of is the way you keep treating me like I'm just being lazy and self indulgent. I'm not. I'm mentally ill. What you might call "an invisible disability". But you still expect me to be the same pliant twat I was when I still lived with you. You never ask the two younger ones to work round the house, becase they would tell you to fuck off. But, because I am a soft touch you'll ask me too.
I know you don't as me to do a lot, and I'm sorry that I'm not managing the tiny amount your asking. But the fact is, apathy and long periods of inaction are a part of my "invisible disability" and you every time you look at me like that or sigh and act like I'm kicking you in the face with my laziness I just fill with rage because I'm trying quite fucking hard and you are applying a double standard just because I'm more quite with my madness than he was.
I'm going to do a shit on the worktop just to highlight my crazy.
...No I'm not. I'm going to do nothing, and we won't talk, and I'll go back to recluse-town having achieved nothing. |
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