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Von Mises' Apprentice

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21:46 / 31.03.06

5. A HAPPY and DILIGENT worker doing his (or, if you must, her) WORK for honest PAY.

Observe the happy accountant, bathed in the warm and soothing light of PROFIT

6. A popular CELEBRITY who might be used in a POSTER CAMPAIGN to remind people why capitalism is so great and the current state of SOCIALISM so awful.

The campaign invites the viewer to compare the COMMUNIST REGULATION JUMPER on the left and the newly madeover KITTEN OF CAPITALISM on the right

22:18 / 31.03.06

Stoatie, why are you not at the PARTAY?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

22:30 / 31.03.06

No dogsitter = come home early.

ONLY NICE THINGS

00:13 / 01.04.06

00:46 / 01.04.06

I REST MY CASE.

YOUR MOVE, COUNCILLOR!

09:20 / 01.04.06

Better TWO HOURS LATE than 2K OVER BUDGET, Tannhauser. Does Von Mises want an apprentice who allows him (or, indeed, her) self to be SWINDLED into buying OVERPRICED PHOTOS OF TED NUGENT?

I SUSPECT NOT.

Joy Division Oven Gloves

09:51 / 01.04.06

It was buy one, get one free

ONLY NICE THINGS

11:01 / 01.04.06

I'd like to thank JDOG for his invaluable work on this challenge, providing as he did many of the images. I'd also like to appear to be a selfless team player, bigging up my team while somehow implying that actually I did all the important stuff, like... um... posting the links.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

11:08 / 01.04.06

OUTSOURCING!!! Why didn't I think of that?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

11:09 / 01.04.06

Sorry, just realised who JDOG is, and that it's DELEGATION rather than OUTSOURCING.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

11:11 / 01.04.06

(For further explanation, let me simply say that I just looked over the board to see if Denfeld had added an "Original Gangsta" suffix to his name. For some reason that was the first thing that came to mind. Sorry, glovey).

Regrettable Juvenilia

12:41 / 01.04.06

The TASK is OVER!

And it is a clear to all that there is a WINNING team and a team of LOSERS. Only ONE of the two teams has succeeded in posting the TEN required images before the DEADLINE. Congratulations to THE A TEAM - your PRIZE is the continued PRIVILEGE of my online COMPANY.

I have heard rumours that the losing team's DEFEAT may have been the result of certain members of this team spending their time DRINKING ALCOHOL and LISTENING TO BANGING TUNES at a PARTY. Von Mises takes a very dim view of this behaviour. I am reminded of the episode of THE O.C. in which the character 'MATT' spends an evening at a STRIP CLUB when he is meant to be working on some FIGURES for a PRESENTATION. I feel the same sense of SHAME and PATERNAL DISAPPOINTMENT that was felt by the character 'SANDY' after that unfortunate INCIDENT.

The real contest here would appear to be between this fellow FRED and the rest of his TEAM! That is something for Von Mises to MUSE on, and I will do so, and may give my thoughts on both sets of images, in the future. However, for NOW, my own TASK is to decide which member of the so-called "MAGNIFICENT" SEVEN is to unceremoniously ejected from these proceedings.

I would therefore like each member of the DEFEATED team to offer a short EXPLANATION of what they contributed to the PROJECT, and why they believe their team LOST.

Let the RECRIMINATION, BUCK-PASSING and PATHETIC EXCUSES commence!

12:45 / 01.04.06

Can I be the first to say, on behalf of my erstwhile &team,& that it was everybody else's fault, and not mine, no, not mine at all.

Furthermore, and I'm going to come out and say this, somebody has to - If YOU, Von Mises are prepared to even think about firing one of the Famous Five on the basis that some of them (though not me obviously,) were PARTICIPATING in DRINKS at your bequest, then YOU are teh man, and all I want to be is just like you, when I've finally gathered the BUSINESS SENSE to wake up and smell the coffee.

I am not insane.

I am 'spirited'

Fire any one of these other... people, but please God Sirvon, DON'T FIRE ME

12:51 / 01.04.06

Also, Sirvon, while it's far outside my remit to question your thoughts about the world of BUSINESS that you have strode like a COLOSSUS, even beyond the grave, WP was sort of 'de facto' Project Manager for this, so if anyone's going over the side...

Well you must do as you see fit.

CAPITALISM 4evah!

Grandma, 11,23.

Whisky Priestess

13:02 / 01.04.06

Dear SirVon

I contributed my organisational and delegational SKILLZ by PMing each member of the team WELL IN ADVANCE, to allocate TWO images to each member, even going so far as to make SUGGESTIONS for the more PUSILLANIMOUS.

Reproduced below:

Task 2

copied to
> Stoatie
> Álex
> Jack Vincennes
> Qward
>
> Ten images, five of us - shall we take 2 each?
> I suggest we take this in alphabetical order of player plus number order of pic, thus:
>
> Alex takes the Wild Beast(may I suggest a Bull, representative of a Bull Market and the proud symbol of Merril Lynch) and the Automobile (a DeLorean?)
>
> Stoatie takes the Item of Clothing and Foodstuff (caviare?)
>
> Jack Vincennes has fun with Happy Worker and Celebrity (Fergie? Miss Piggy?)
>
> Qward is assigned Torture Device (perhaps a self-assessment income tax form as issued by the repressive British Govt - I can scan one of these in if you like) and Bride (Margaret Thatcher?)
>
> And I'll take Honeymoon Destination and Dwelling.
>
> Sound good?
>
> It will be a nightmare to try and look at one another's pix without swapping email addresses, so I suggest we either do that or just trust one another's judgementses.
>
> x WP

However, thanks to the EVIL machinations of NINA SKRYTY and that WORM Alex's Grandma, who was willing, nay EAGER to host a PARTY in which the Communist principle of BRING A BOTTLE was liberally and shamelessly in evidence, (and all my HARD EARNED PRINGLES got eaten and I didn't have a SINGLE ONE) I was UNABLE to post my contribution before the deadline, ALEX having removed his laptop from said party's KITCHEN, ostensibly fearing THEFT or DESTRUCTION but actually just to FUCK ME OVER.

SirVon, I believe you should keep me and FIRE Alex for so shamefully UNDERMINING me (BY NOT POSTING HIS IMAGES) and depriving me of the chance to POST MY OWN. What a SLY snake in the grass, he is, SirVon! What a BACKSTABBING Judas! Just look into his BEADY LITTLE EYES over the boardroom table, SirVon, and I think you will find your answer in their TREACHEROUS DEPTHS.

And thank you for giving me this OPPORTUNITY to reveal the TRUTH about my fellow "apprentice". Give me another chance, SirVon, and I WON'T LET YOU DOWN.

13:14 / 01.04.06

In order to function in the FULL and BEAUTIFUL way we KNOW AND LOVE, capitalism requires CONSPICUOUS CONSUMPTION, specifically of RED WINE.

As one of the contributing members of the Magnificent 'Seven' I have a UNIQUE INSIGHT* into what went wrong. The blame, Mises, lies with WHISKY PRIESTESS whose exellent start was belied by her INCESSANT HASSLING of the team throughout the project -and TO WHAT ENDS, we now ask ourselves? I am fully able to EXCEL at a task without being HOUNDED about it.

Also pressingly, WHERE WAS QWARD in all of this?

*unique because I belive Stoatie to be a FIFTH COLUMNIST working for SOCIALISM.

In short, I should not be fired.

Whisky Priestess

13:35 / 01.04.06

WHAT HASSLING, Vincennes?
WHAT HASSLING EH?
WHAT HASSLING?
AM I HASSLING YOU NOW, TRAITOR?
HOW ABOUT NOW?
LIKE THAT DO YOU?

SirVon, the above is exactly UNLIKE what I did during the task. I gave my instructions, made my suggestions, and retired with QUIET DIGNITY to watch this motley crew of INGRATES, TIMEWASTERS and SOCIALISTS FUCK IT UP. They've let me down, they've let the team down, they've let themselves down, but most of all they've let YOU down, SirVon. I am a TEAM PLAYER, THEY are NOT.

13:41 / 01.04.06

I'm happy enough to blame everything on Qward if everyone else is.

'Qward... what have you DONE! What have you CONTRIBUTED!11!
you BLEEDING quisling!'

Is what I would say.

I remain a fan of your far right policies,

Grandma (emoticon!)

Whisky Priestess

13:53 / 01.04.06

Yes, absolutely, well done ALEX and VINCENNES, you have correctly identified the TRUE CULPRIT. I always had the utmost faith in you both.

QWARD, you're going DAHN.

Regrettable Juvenilia

19:10 / 01.04.06

Qward, you're being very QUIET - what do you have to SAY for YOURSELF, sunshine?

07:00 / 03.04.06

Yes, I´m not an apprentice, but I believe my post is JUSTIFIED, because I

- raise AWARENESS of the Blog of the Ludwig von Mises Institute,

- bump this thread to the top, where it BELONGS,

- link to the above INTERESTING article (about a professor at a University (!) in Texas, who believes, the answer to enviromental regeneration is the decrease of the human population to 10% of its current size by the ebola virus).

Regrettable Juvenilia

09:31 / 03.04.06

BONG.

BONG.

BONG.

BONG.

That sound you can hear is the CLANGING CHIME OF DOOM that is the EXECUTIONER'S BELL. It is time for I, Von Mises, to don the BLACK VESTMENTS of the HANGMAN, and reveal to you all which young would-be ENTREPRENEUR will be taking a LONG walk off a SHORT pier, to land with a splash in the SEA of UNEMPLOYMENT.

Jack Vincennes: Ace Attorney! and Stoats On A Plane are to be congratulated for FAILING in a slightly less ABJECT manner than their team-mates. While it is true that you posted [PICS] yourselves, you must take some responsibility for not COMPELLING your team-mates to CONTRIBUTE - perhaps by threatening them with PHYSICAL BEATDOWNS should they not do so.

Also, Vincennes, I would warn you never to post a photo of the HORSE-FACED WOMAN in my presence again.

Alex's Grandma and Whisky Priestess are a pair of FECKLESS WASTERS whose SLOTH and FLAGRANT AVERSION TO HARD WORK made Von Mises do a little sick, in his own noble mouth, the other day. Nevertheless, they at least have had the GOOD GRACE to GROVEL and ask for my FORGIVENESS.

This is in sharp contrast to Qward, who is so PITIFUL that he or she could not even be BOTHERED to respond to my demand for ANSWERS. One might almost conclude that he or she signed on to take part in this competition by MISTAKE.

You're a LIGHTWEIGHT, Qward, a positive D-LISTER - and you are FIRED.

Get OFF my PROPERTY at once - if I see you around again, best believe my CANNONS will go BOOM.

Yours with all the LOVE and POISON of LONDON,

VM.

Whisky Priestess

14:34 / 03.04.06

May I be the first to APPLAUD you SYCOPHANTICALLY and say that you made the RIGHT decision, SirVon! (Probably because you are so CLEVER and SEXY). Do you sometimes see a little of your younger self in me?

Regrettable Juvenilia

07:43 / 06.04.06

It is time for Task Three to begin! However, before we go any further, I will need each TEAM to nominate a PROJECT MANAGER for this task. Talk amongst YOURSELVES and reach a CONSENSUS. The first team to NOMINATE a LEADER will also be given first CHOICE in some other regards.

Whisky Priestess

17:52 / 06.04.06

Alex and myself have mutually nominated STOATIE for his forward thinking, ADORABLE DOG, and ENVIABLE DRESS SENSE. One can only assume that VINCENNES and Stoatie will heartily CONCUR.

20:35 / 06.04.06

I am a TEAM PLAYER and I APPLAUD this decision.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

21:48 / 06.04.06

I will ACCEPT the decision of my TEAM-MATES, and pledge to LEAD THIS PROJECT to GREATER PROFIT. EXCELSIOR!!!

Whisky Priestess

22:35 / 06.04.06

FAB FOUR GO!!!
11!
23!

ONLY NICE THINGS

10:25 / 10.04.06

Kneel to me now or kneel to me later. You will kneel.

Anyone else want to be project manager?

Tryphena Absent

10:35 / 10.04.06

No, I feel that easy money is not to be gained through the attainment of this role.

Joy Division Oven Gloves

20:23 / 10.04.06

Having someone up front will make it easier to stab them in the back, so by all means, after you.

Bubblegum Death

20:33 / 10.04.06

I have no problems with this; as long as we win.

Whisky Priestess

10:53 / 11.04.06

SirVon, we wish to WORK! Where is our TASK?! Don't let us just LIE AROUND using up precious AIR!

Regrettable Juvenilia

17:08 / 11.04.06

The one they call "STOAT":

This task is all about MARKETING. The first step will be for you to choose a PRODUCT or SERVICE which you will have to SELL to a particular DEMOGRAPHIC. Please select ONE of the following:

The Collected Writings of Jake Horsley, including Matrix Warrior, Matrix Sorceror, and Matrix Alternative Urban Magician Who Also Does Children's Parties.

Or:

The Complete Discography of Cliff Richard.

Or!

The Sexual Services of Nicholas Hornby.

Make your CHOICE with CARE.

HAUS: When Stoatie has made his choice, please choose one of the remaining two options.

Onwards!

18:36 / 11.04.06

Revered team leader (until you slip up, that is,)

I suspect that Sir Cliff's target audience may be more readily MANIPULATED and easily MILKED FOR THEIR CASH than either Mr Horsely's or Mr Hornby's. The latter in particular looks very much like a HOSPITAL PASS to the CRIMNALLY INSANE. Accordingly while I suspect SIRVON may look kindly on our ENDEAVOURS if we managed, collectively, to achieve such a MARKETING FEAT as to make HORNBY look HORNY, it might be best to play safe on this one, and leave THE OTHER TEAM to try and face down ALMOST INSURMOUNTABLE ODDS.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

00:52 / 18.04.06

SIR CLIFF would no doubt seem the most MARKETABLE, having a TITLE and therefore being more CLASSY and NOBLE that the audience, who will no doubt ASPIRE to be like the CHEEKY CHRISTIAN CROONER and will thus LAP UP his OEUVRE.

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