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GREETINGS WOULD-BE MINIONS.
This next task is all about HOSPITALITY. Now, under ordinary circumstances HOSPITALITY should never be GIVEN FREELY, it should be SOLD. For example, the other evening I was rudely disturbed by a knock at the door of my recently-renovated luxurious HOXTON MANSION. I opened the door, cudgel at the ready, to find a MAN there, leaking BLOOD upon my DOORSTEP.
"Excuse m-me, kind sir", said he, "I have just been set upon by MUGGERS who did not hold back in the use of KNIVES and have left me in urgent need of MEDICAL ATTENTION. Could you possibly supply me with some GAUZE and call the POLICE?"
I slammed the door in his FACE.
"Be off with you!", I called through the letterbox. "It was your CHOICE to walk unarmed down a dark East London STREET, and I do not see why I should have to SUFFER for your FOOLISHNESS. If you did not wish to be STABBED, why did you not simply STAY AT HOME, sitting AROUND?"
I consider myself a DECENT SORT, but why should I put up with STAINS upon my RUG for the sake of that IMBECILE?
However.
In this case, you all are AUDITIONING to be my APPRENTICE, and so I think it is worthwhile to test how HOSPITABLE you can be towards ME, as if I were a HIGH-PAYING GUEST, but without me giving you a SHILLING.
To this end, both teams have been PARACHUTED onto a DESERT ISLAND each.
Here is the island that will be inhabited by THE A-TEAM, as seen from the deck of my recently-purchased YACHT:
And here is the one that will be the home of THE SO-CALLED 'MAGNIFICENT' SEVEN:
I, Von Mises, will spend a few DAYS on each island, as your GUEST. How well you WAIT on me HAND and FOOT, and meet me various needs and WHIMS using only those RESOURCES available to you on the ISLAND, will determine which team WINS this task. And someone from the losing team...
...is going to get FIRED. |
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