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Evil Scientist Rules Teh World!

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astrojax69

19:51 / 10.11.05

i'd happily volunteer for the post of high commissioner to the seychelles and [perpetually absent] deputy minister in charge of snorkelling, cocktail testing, jazz and other chilled grooves, international & intergalactic travel and delicious cuisine. of course, this portfolio will need a sizeable budget and, please, no questions from the media or the galactic president.

who'll be my minister?

Tom Paine's Bones

22:34 / 10.11.05

Can I be Minister in Charge of Doing Bad Things But Having the Decency to Agonise Over it In Private?

I'll brood. And smoulder if the opportunity should arise.

lekvar

22:55 / 10.11.05

archraven, I hate to say this, but decaffinated and detoxed rebels aren't, you know, threatening. They'd just kinda sit around grumbling, wouldn't they? They'd see how much fun everybody else is having, get bitter and write in their blogs about it.

Say, has anybody seen Von Kobra? It seems like he should be in on this.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

00:00 / 11.11.05

I'm sure he has his own plans. Or a crisis with his nuclear-powered dinosaur catapult.

I volunteer for any title with the word "commandant" in it. Or, if that's unavailable, I'll take Quartermaster.

Evil Scientist

07:14 / 11.11.05

Commandant of Quartermasters?

Katherine

09:57 / 11.11.05

but decaffinated and detoxed rebels aren't, you know, threatening. They'd just kinda sit around grumbling, wouldn't they?

Actually I reckon they will be more alert than your caffine-dependent lot, so much so when we disrupt the coffee supplys it will cause widespread panic and mayhem!

They'd see how much fun everybody else is having, get bitter and write in their blogs about it.

I expect the blogs to be written, they are cheaper than printing posters with anti-new world order slogans.

Evil Scientist

10:11 / 11.11.05

Actually I reckon they will be more alert than your caffine-dependent lot, so much so when we disrupt the coffee supplys it will cause widespread panic and mayhem!

At which point I roll out the highly-experimental combat drugs. Picture Phox all ripped and foaming at the mouth. Like Bane, but more acceptable in high society.

Trust me. Way of the future.

Leave the coffee supplies alone. I'd hate to make an example out of, let's say, Tonga. That super-laser's almost ready.

Let's just hope no-one gives you guys stunt-fighters.

Katherine

10:19 / 11.11.05

That super-laser's almost ready.

Is it?

Sure on that are we?

Axolotl

10:21 / 11.11.05

Bonus! Not only have I manged to break in to the exciting field of gooning, but it also includes free drugs.
Can I get a t-shirt with "Goon #1" as well?

Evil Scientist

10:22 / 11.11.05

Phox AM No. 1!

Shrug

15:10 / 11.11.05

I've always wanted to be "adept at the capework of pseudo-revolutionary gesture" like Charles Stewart Parnell. Maybe I could do that too (from my couch between bowls of Coco Pops I mean).

LykeX

15:28 / 11.11.05

Am I the only one seeing the obvious here? If the rebels are all decaffeinated, all we have to do is develop a raygun of some sort that will kill anyone without caffeine in their blood. Naturally their death must occur in a suitably horrific manner, such as dehydration caused by explosive diarrhea.
Quantum, that's your department, right? To the drawing board!

Katherine

16:40 / 11.11.05

If the rebels are all decaffeinated, all we have to do is develop a raygun of some sort that will kill anyone without caffeine in their blood. Naturally their death must occur in a suitably horrific manner

What about your lot who are allegic to caffeine? They would suffer the same fate and it's hard to cover that sort of thing up......

Quantum

23:50 / 11.11.05

The 'Matrix' retrovirus to convince people you don't already control them is going well oh evil one, the battle station has been put on hold.

Jack Denfeld

00:40 / 12.11.05

I am rule you.

lekvar

03:35 / 12.11.05

What about your lot who are allegic to caffeine?
A paltry sacrifice at most. Consider it unnatural selection.

And I'd like to second the suggestion that ytou leave the coffee supply alone. I haven't been a day without caffeine in 15 years. If I'm cut off, the magnitude of my withdrawl symptoms may cause me to go nova. Is your rebellion worth the annihlation of the entire human race?

Katherine

04:30 / 12.11.05

Against the evil regeme of you lot? Yep it's worth it.

I personally don't think you will be able to function without the coffee, so your threat is an idle one. With the headaches and physical systoms of caffene being leeched from your bodies you will be weak and unable to think. That is when the rebel army will take over and restore Jack Denfield to his rightful position.

Dead Megatron

17:48 / 14.11.05

Can I have the Ministry of Prostitution and General Woman Objectifying?

That is, IF my plan for world domination fails. We should know the answer in a couple of weeks now, my Death Ray Machine is nearly completed

Quantum

09:57 / 15.11.05

SIR update Oh Evil One, a slightly modified plan on the non-caffeinated-rebel-melting-ray, turns out it's easier to poison all the decaff. Consider it done.

I have a backup plan for when a mismatched group of unlikely heroes defy all the odds and confront you in the throne room, upon your death your consciousness will be downloaded into a continent-spanning decentralised network of Computers ruling an underground complex full of colour-coded drones (is Alpha a good name?) while Nuclear Armageddon is unleashed on the unsuspecting surface world.
Pity the fools.

Axolotl

10:27 / 15.11.05

Quantum: A back-up plan? You overestimate their chances.
Plus it shows are remarkable lack of faith in my gooning abilities, I'm quite hurt.

Evil Scientist

10:27 / 15.11.05

Happiness is mandatory.

Evil Scientist

10:33 / 15.11.05

That is when the rebel army will take over and restore Jack Denfield to his rightful position.

Pitiful fools, there is no Jack Denfield. He's a myth created by advertising companies to sell caffeinated beverages to the rebels. Beverages which have rotted the health of your rebel army with their addictive suger-loaded contents.

(The mind-control drugs will help too).

Katherine

10:33 / 15.11.05

Thank you for allowing the rebels to up our goth quota in the army. That was most generous of you, they are already figuring out an antidote to the decaff poison - mainly because they can't quote poetry without it.

Yours
General A Raven

Katherine

10:36 / 15.11.05

There is no Jack Denfield?

Liar!

We in the RA will not listen to your filthy lies!

Evil Scientist

10:50 / 15.11.05

Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

Oh, and those goths? They just defected back to us, I invented a Vampirism Serum and promised them two more Nine Inch Nails albums for their eternal loyalty.

Katherine

11:44 / 15.11.05

Fair enough about the goths, you can have them. I'll go and put bows on them right now.

As for Jack Denfield, he will deal with you once he finds out about your devilish plans and the defection of some of these barbelithers (honestly offer them some power and away they go).

Quantum

13:13 / 15.11.05

Not power, *UUUUULTIMAAAATE POOOOOWEEEEER!!!*. Get it right.

Katherine

13:59 / 15.11.05

I somehow don't think Mr Evil Scientist will allow his mere goons to have ultimate power. I think he will hog it all for himself that's the idea behind being ruler of the world.
Evil Scientist - ultimate power
Goons and assorteds - free cup of coffee & knife in the bak

See?...... that's how an evil empire runs.

The rebels on the other hand are all for people to have ultimate power, join us you know it makes sense.

Evil Scientist

14:07 / 15.11.05

I'll build Quantum power armour that's a man-sized replica of Galactus's. That ought to be power enough for him.

The rebels on the other hand are all for people to have ultimate power, join us you know it makes sense.

Ultimate power? Pah, you don't even have proper coffee.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

14:29 / 15.11.05

He. The world is so pwned.

Katherine

16:49 / 15.11.05

No, whilst you have taken over the world's coffee supply we have worked hard to secure the world's Tea supplies.

You can have the world............ we are happy with the Tea and Crumpets until Jack Denfield comes to release the world from your slavery tyrant.

Bard: One-Man Humaton Hoedown

17:05 / 15.11.05

BARD demands the position of...Minsiter of Mythos Relations.

To properly conquer the globe the Evil Genius needs the respect and cooperation of the GREAT OLD ONES!

I have on my resume previous experience in this field, as Minister of Arcane Affairs & Mythos Relations, as well as the Tyrant of Canada (under the Emperor's liege-lord system), under the Empire of Strict31. But, as an evil villain myself, I will gladly switch allegiance to whoever offers me a better dental plan. And a hard boiled egg. I am also an initiated priest in the church of Nyarlathotep (First Nova and Outer God).

I ask only that I be allowed to keep my citadel over Science World in Vancouver, and the big, Sauron-style tower in Toronto.

Quantum

17:33 / 15.11.05

I'll build Quantum power armour that's a man-sized replica of Galactus's. That ought to be power enough for him.

But the Galactus-size suit is nearly finished! Why don't you scale your damn blueprints Oh Evil One, and save me mountains of futile work!

Quantum

17:41 / 15.11.05

Here's a fun Galactafact by way of apology for my unseemly pettiness Oh Evil One-

Galactus is the sole survivor of the universe that existed prior to the creation of the current universe.
also
Galactus was targeted by the alien organization Elders of the Universe, who believed his death would trigger a Big Bang and recreate reality.

Pretty nifty suit, eh? Armour that survives Cosmic Cataclysm and has a built in death trap that destroys the universe if you die- I'll get the Nanite Artefact Production Swarms on that right away!

Evil Scientist

11:49 / 16.11.05

"Quantum, I bored. What plaything can you offer me?"

Ooh, lookit him go. Kicking around those rebellious planets like footballs. (choke) Cherish these moments with your goons, they don't last forever.

Bard, get me Cthulhu's autograph and you've got a deal! Tek ali! Tek ali!

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