Evil Scientist Rules Teh World!

09:31 / 14.07.06

You know what? Enough of this heretical Haus worship! Come the day of the Scientist he will be remembered merely as a dark fable with which to scare children into correct behaviour on message boards and chatrooms.

"If you don't back up your statements then Haus will come out of your computer screen and gobble you up!"

Sort of a more verbose version of Sadako.

I need two things from you this sunny sunny day. A flag for my new Utopian society of fear and opression, and a national anthem.

A bar of chocolate to the monkey with the best idea!

Char Aina

09:35 / 14.07.06

flag?

you might want to mess about with colours, maybe add some personal heraldry in the corners.
i'a big fan of religious symolism(see india) on flags, and i like a bit of a statement of intent in there as well(see angola).

worship the evil science lords, for evil science is armed... with evil science weapons.

Char Aina

09:37 / 14.07.06

i think your national anthem shoudl be a global anthem, incidentally.
statement of intent again, innit.

forward to death?

09:45 / 14.07.06

Vader's March. What else could the anthem be, you can't improve on perfection.

DAH DAH DAH, DUN-DA DAH DUN DA-DAH...

Flags? Flags are the futile signifiers of one nation's supremacy over another, a throwback to the territorial pissings of monkeys. When all the world is unified under the wisdom of Teh Evil One, flags will be a thing of the past.

09:48 / 14.07.06

"Where we're going, we don't need flags..."

Sorry to quote the Adversary, master, but it fits.

Char Aina

09:49 / 14.07.06

yeah, but you need a flag sometimes.
like flying the red flag to let them know you are going to kill the crew.

imagine a rally, festooned with stylised rayguns everywhere, surrounded by hordes of psychically linked monkeys, armed with the very same raygun.

vader's march would be good, though.
i like that.

ONLY NICE THINGS

10:01 / 14.07.06

Come the day of the Scientist he will be remembered merely as a dark fable with which to scare children into correct behaviour on message boards and chatrooms.

And this will differ how?

10:28 / 14.07.06

And this will differ how?

It...umm...well obviously there'd be....with...uh...

Damn you to the outer reaches of Hades!

That's it, I'm warming up the doomsday weapon.

10:35 / 14.07.06

"Where we're going, we don't need flags..."

He's not the Adversary. I'll be putting a statue of him in the Garden of Villainy (near the Vader memorial lake) for damaging the timelines above and beyond the call of duty.

We have to respect the mad scientists. They're not always quite evil enough, but we can overlook that considering the property damage they cause.

10:42 / 14.07.06

Aw, look at that: Evil Scientist is jealous of all the attention Haus is geting. Isn't that cute?

What happens when you say "Haus" in front of the mirror five times? Is it beter or worse than the doomsday weapon? Or aren't both the same?

10:49 / 14.07.06

Isn't that cute?

Evil Scientist, I can have the hunter/killer drones adapted to track down the individual psionic signal of an almost anonymous foe, they are 99% accurate with only a fictionsuit name as the spoor, fire and forget.
Shall I?
Or would sir prefer to dust off the Galactus suit just to make sure?

10:55 / 14.07.06

Bring it on, man! I have just polished my fusion cannon

11:01 / 14.07.06

Aw, look at that: Evil Scientist is jealous of all the attention Haus is geting. Isn't that cute?

Hell yeah. It's all about me! ME! ME! MEEEEE!

Unleash the drones good Quantum, I think someone's about to spend the best years of his life deactivated beneath London (until he's unfortunately reactivated by GI Joe and battles some fella called Guardian).

MattShepherd: I WEDDED KALI!

13:21 / 14.07.06

An alternative might be to override the command circuits on those giant Russian robots and send them- cheaper, more ironic, more property damage from the giant robots fighting. Like your own personal Sentinels.

enrieb

16:52 / 14.07.06

When you finally take your position as undisputed overlord of the world, you will need to have an emergency plan in place, so that if ever a plot to overthrow is showing any chance of success then you can stop them in their tracks by threatening to destroy the earth.

The thing is that destroying the earth is a lot harder that you may have been led to believe. Given this, I have instructed my minions to carry out a feasibility study into this matter, although we have not fully costed the plans as yet, we do believe that we offer a superior range of options to suit your budget, and we also guarantee to beat any price you can find for work of similar quality.

how to destroy the earth

Spyder Todd 2008

17:42 / 14.07.06

Quantum, I had a thought for your research and development department. Is there a feasible way to develop a chemical compound that, when exposed, causes a person to feel the psychological shock of a tongue lashing from Haus or Flyboy to, let’s say, the 3,000th power? I’d think it would cause a rather nasty headache.

Oh, and Bard, I was wondering if it might be possible to order up one Creature of Inconceivable Horror, please. My goldfish recently died and I was thinking about getting a new pet.

18:04 / 14.07.06

For all its virtues, the Haus thread does not have any links nearly as cool as that offered up by enrieb.

POINT: EVIL SCIENTIST

21:37 / 14.07.06

Methinks Enrieb just earned virself Australia!

21:46 / 14.07.06

I think someone's about to spend the best years of his life deactivated beneath London (until he's unfortunately reactivated by GI Joe and battles some fella called Guardian).

I fear nothing. NOTHING!

21:49 / 14.07.06

Why fight me DM? When we could become allies? Join with me and crush your enemies beneath those big metal feet.

Whatdya say...Dead Galvatron?

21:55 / 14.07.06

Call me that again and I'll fusion cannon your mushy human behind.

Yeah, you say that now, but I'm pretty sure that, as soon as all our enemies are obliterated, due most surely to my "big metal feet", you'll betray me and wipe my personality program, turning me into your own personal giant super-drone. No, thank you.

I am MEGATRON, I have not allies, I have minions! (Rally to me, my Decepticons!)

Spyder Todd 2008

03:04 / 15.07.06

Q, do we have, like, nanites or something that can go in and override his programming?

enrieb

06:58 / 15.07.06

A, no we just get haus to ask him a logical question, then sit back and wait for the ciruits to burn out.

08:53 / 15.07.06

you'll betray me and wipe my personality program, turning me into your own personal giant super-drone. No, thank you.

Alright, who blabbed?

Spyder Todd 2008

18:45 / 15.07.06

Alright, who blabbed?

I'll get my department right on it, sir.

21:18 / 15.07.06

Q, do we have, like, nanites or something that can go in and override his programming?

Nanites are so last century. The Decepticons were a flawed design in the first place comrade Spyder, an EMP will soon settle their hash don't you worry. Besides, it's obvious DM has a biological component so he can't be a giant robot, it's just an internet persona for a cyberman. Upgrading is the only way, I saw some designs from Athena that Haus posted, we'll make him a model citizen. mwah ha ha.

09:28 / 18.07.06

Besides, it's obvious DM has a biological component so he can't be a giant robot

Yeah, and it's called BALLS! Which I have plent of.

10:15 / 18.07.06

Accessories are great, aren't they?

enrieb

19:18 / 19.07.06

Self Destruct Button USB Hub, for when you absolutely positively, gotta kill every *********** in the world, accept no substutute.

Self Destruct Button USB Hub

The Self Destruction Button USB hub comes with four ports in the back for all your USB-connectivity goodness, but the main draw comes from all the stuff on top. There's two flickable switches, a turnable key, and a protected self-destruct button!

13:44 / 29.09.06

So I was having my annual new year's scotch with my future self and discussing the pesky time tourists pulling pranks on their grandfathers, and we agreed something had to be done.
I've been reading my Thucydides and it is all clear to me now. Ruthlessness is the key, so I'm going to build a world devastating crustbuster bomb and put it in a time capsule, my future self has agreed to fit it with a chronomatic retrotemporal booster system when the tech is developed, and gift wrap it. Then, when the time is right, those time travelling fuckers will be getting a nasty shock.

That's right, we're going to bomb those bastards back into the stone age. WHO IS WITH ME?!

09:03 / 15.11.06

A Nick excerpt in the voting thread;

It's likely that a dictatorship would handle the relationship between corporate power and government better, and certainly sweeping emergency powers would be nice for dealing with the environment and so on, but I don't much fancy the side effects, and I don't trust the Dear Leader unless he's me or someone I chose personally. I'm not persuaded that an Anarchy would have sufficient cohesiveness to deal with climate change, or that we're in a place where it could happen. I don't think Corporate Rule is a good idea. So...

So the solution is obvious! Evil Science Tyranny! It's like tough love with nanites, or the Nanny State if your nanny were a giant robot with flamethrower eyes, give up your freedom in return for security, remember it's Evil Scientist or Ecogeddon! We need a strong leader with a clear environmental policy and the mind control ray to enforce it! ~OBEYANDRECYCLE~ ~EVILSCIENTISTLOVESYOUSELLYOURCAR~

09:44 / 15.11.06

remember it's Evil Scientist or Ecogeddon!

According to my diary it's Evil Scientist and Ecogeddon.

09:53 / 15.11.06

Hey, without the biosphere where will you get baby animals to torment? I mean, it's your Blueprint For Ultimate Destruction but what's a dark future without whales to harpoon? Think of your retirement and eventual immortality dude, play the long game.

08:08 / 16.11.06

Im tired of this endless teasing.

Take the freaking world once and for all, Evil S. or just make room for another all-powerful-tyrant wannabe, the line is getting too long.

Gosh, I need to upgrade my BALLS.