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if the dreamy extensions of bad logic like that are so pervasive here, i dont see how actual facts can skew you back to reality
While many Barbe-users are guilty of using "bad logic" (myself included), there are others who are (self-)trained to think things through before they post. They also take a second to understand that facts by themselves are rather flimsy things, once they are paired with a well-reasonded position, facts have some strength. Posters ask for facts from you, ShadowSax because you haven't presented anything other than dreams. illusions, and misconceptions about the court system, feminists, and the lawyers. Also, facts, backed up by a position, presented in a clear manner with respect to the other posters' opinions, will be engaged with sans the snarkiness of before. That being said,
ShadowSaw: but think: why would the courts ever get involved in a situation where the parents already agreed?
But that's the status quo that people are talking about. Or, as grant said,
grant: I was pointing out earlier is that it's the "standard format" that reflects a gender imbalance. Not so much the decisions of judges as the decisions of whoever it is that writes the little handouts in the packets and decides that the schedule should be the way it is. It may well be the best possible division for the kids -- I don't know.
ShadowSaw: just blame it on the fact that no one is ever happy with the outcome of the justice system
Nobody is saying this. How could one be happy while divorcing themselves from their spouse?
kids, yeah, kids unfortunately cant decide. for one thing, most kids in custody situations where there is conflict are pretty young... they really arent in the position to make decisions like this
This is probably the only place I agree with you. We can't let kids decide. Because? We don't know really what's best for them.
Here's a little anecdote from my life, to show my position, and to show one tiny example of what works.
Jeff and Mary have two kids: Nick and Nat. They get divorced and decide for equal custody. They go to court over it, because that's the "standard format". The judge tells them Wed, weekends, holidays, and then they NEGOTIATE with the judge until EVERYBODY is happy (as happy as one is going to be whilst divorcing their spouse).
Jeff marries Sue, a nice lady who doesn't really want kids all the time. Mary marries a nice gentleman who loves kids. Nick and Nat, the children, love Sue and this new stepfather. Mary and Sue come to an agreement over what the kids call their respective mothers: Sue defers ultimately to what Mary wants, but Mary agrees that she can be called "Mommy Mary" and the other can be "Mommy Sue". Everybody works a lot of hours and the children are not old enough to be on their own. Jeff, Sue, Mary and her new husband work out a schedule based on everybody's work schedule. Sometimes Jeff has to miss a weekend. Sometimes he gets a Tues, Wed, and a Thurs in one week.
The system sucks, sure. But at least these parents were responsible enough to see that the children's welfare comes first. One can negotiate with the system.
What if the mother is completely unreasonable during the divorce? Well, I'm pretty sure the solution is not to climb shit and act stupid. One can petition the court instead. |
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